Not Quite Right features discussions that are unfiltered and uncensored,
and may include themes that are inappropriate for younger listeners.
Also, I swear a lot something doesn't seem
quite right.
Welcome to Not quite right.
My name's Ed and I'm Amanda and welcome to the pointiest end of the stick,
the Super pointy trophy and the shortlist.
Yes, I'm so excited for the very first write
off ever in the history of the universe.
And look, this has not been a wait for us.
As we record, we have powered through the reading to
determine our winner.
I always love revealing the winner, so I was just very excited to get it done.
But of course, for our listeners, they've been suffering along waiting for
this news.
And so we're very, very excited to share our top stories
with you.
Yes.
And you'll find out who the winner is very shortly.
But before we reveal the winner, we've got several wonderful shortlisting
stories to read.
Always a highlight.
Yes.
And before we do that, we've got wild cards.
Yeah, wild cards.
We've got shortlisters.
We've got winners.
The end of the episode, we've even got a prize draw.
We're going to find out who the winning team is and give it 1 lucky person a
prize.
Well, multiple by the sounds of things.
This is like, I don't know, I feel like I'm just doing these ones.
You know, when you dish the money out, making it rain, Making it rain.
So that's coming up later in the episode.
But let's kick it off with some wild cards.
Let's shell.
You know what?
Let's give Dean a call.
Why not?
Dean helped us out again with the judging, as he so often generously does.
And as always, we will start off with Dean's wild card.
All right, Dean O'clock, let's go.
Hello, Amanda and Ed.
Hi, Dean.
Thanks for helping us out with the judging again this round.
So how did you go?
How did you find the write off the new format?
It's a little bit different.
Just having two teams made it a little bit of a different dynamic.
Did you split them up?
Did you judge one team first?
Like, how did you approach it?
Yeah, I actually did Team Ed and then I did
Team Amanda.
I was going to say in no particular order, I mean, reverse alphabetical order.
Uh huh.
Team Meds floored protagonists.
They definitely did a lot of planting evidence,
planting their feet and planting dead husbands in the garden.
That was good.
Team Amanda.
Meanwhile, I felt like I was back in school.
There were a lot of laws of physics, thermodynamics or nature going on.
Lots of gods as well.
So yeah, it was.
It was definitely a different vibe for each.
So a bit more variety then?
Yeah.
Well, the variety is always just bonkers, you know, from swingers clubs,
stairwells to World War 2 music festivals, vampires, sentient weeds and escalators,
Regency romance, cannibals, dystopian worlds,
It's always fun to have a glimpse at everyone's creative and sometimes
disturbing minds.
Yeah, we did mention in the Long List episode
that we saw a few more cannibals than usual this round,
so I don't know whether to be alarmed about that or we'll be monitoring it
perhaps as the rounds go on.
So, Dean, I believe you curated a little set of
shout outs, some of your notable mentions.
Yeah, I thought let's just do a little express
shout out.
I'll start with the just a handful of titles that jumped out.
I mean, you guys know I love a title.
Let me guess, there's some puns in there.
No, there.
I was gonna look, I was gonna award a pun award.
And I looked down and there were a couple of contenders, but no,
I don't want to get typecast.
Amanda, you know what that's like being typecast?
What have I been typecast as?
Oh, I don't know, Amanda.
I better make sure I say your name.
Amanda, I better make sure that.
Yeah.
Ohh, I see, I see.
Alright, so I've got 4 to call out.
The first one I thought was really just made me smile from the moment I saw it
was how do I love thee?
Let me count the floors.
That was from Joe Bins.
Another one was whoever wrote this hold music needs to pay for their sins.
That was by Eleanor Menzel.
I liked that one.
And a memorable one that links the story back to the title as well.
Exactly.
Yeah.
And Jennifer Lyons Bell wrote the quick brown dog slumped over the joyless,
bizarre fox.
So they're all quite long ones, but that's what she said.
And I also like the simplicity of the All Caps title, No Girls Allowed.
And that was by Honey Homecroft.
That was a Team Amanda's story.
I'm not sure if you listened to that and didn't read it, Amanda.
I'm thinking not.
So yeah, there's four of call outs.
Yeah.
No girls allowed.
You're a girl.
So you see what?
A debate.
So only Ed and I read that.
Yeah.
Not allowed.
No.
That was fun.
As I said, there were some funny ones as well,
but just well done.
If you put a part in your title, there you go that's your shotgun.
Do you want to get some good lines?
I also love a shout out of some lines.
All right, first line, forget about A grades.
You want to be manifesting double D cups.
That was from Lucy Max 90s last in the past story Dream lover.
Oh yes, very fun.
Lots of 90s references there.
Another one was I felt like I was recording B roll in a documentary about
my own life.
So that was quite a nice little observation from the story.
Wife for a Night by Chrissy Driver.
You want another one?
Yes.
Yeah.
Well, you've got no choice, all right?
Humans always seem to be leaking from somewhere.
Such a lovely way of.
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah.
Well, it's got another shout out.
Well done, KA Vargas.
That's the story.
Heartstrings and another very sort of descriptivies.
1 is clammy and nauseous.
Shame spread like sepsis.
I just really like that sort of comparison.
That was from the Cost of admission by Kerry McCourt and from SG Hunt's story.
Mud this great description.
There was no land paved with gold.
Below lay a skeletal landscape devoid of trees.
Thousands of tents pricked the earth like canvas ticks, and the grating slush,
slush, slush of the tireless puddler rose to
their ears.
So that when you read the story, you know about sort of gold miners and
that sort of thing.
It was very, very descriptive and there were many more
great lines.
And just a reminder to everyone, keep them coming.
They really do spark joy when you're judging a lot of stories to see them just
pop up.
They're real gems.
Absolutely.
Well, thank you for that, Dean, but you're here to announce your wild
card for this round.
That's right.
Just to remind everyone, once and Amanda Hadid have picked their
six place getters and their wild cards.
I'm then invited to pick my own wild card story.
Selected blind of course.
And this time around it came down to two stories, actually.
One was Team Aid and one was team Amanda, as it turned out.
But taking it was the team Amanda story and that story is natural by Ben Daggers.
Oh, congratulations, Ben, and thanks for joining my team Ben.
I appreciate it.
I mean, I'll give you a little bit of why I liked
it.
It's it's told from the perspective of 10 year old farm boy.
He's witnessing for the first time his father slaughtering a chicken before
later being forced to sit down and eat it.
It had a really strong character voice and it had some great lines.
In particular this line stood out.
So I'll give you one more line.
My knife and fork got real heavy as pars words about the laws of nature kept
pecking at my brain.
Nice little circularity with the chicken there and great use of the law prompt too.
So congratulations Ben.
It was a surprise to see your name, but at the same time not really a
surprise either.
I'm never surprised to see Benny's name in amongst the leaders in a riding
competition.
So well done.
So definitely stood out.
It was close call.
There was some great stories there.
So well done Ben and what on team Amanda 21 in the wild cards because you guys get
picked your own.
So I guess I was decided that's to win something.
But no, as usual, it was a privilege.
Thanks everyone for the stories, and thanks Amanda and Ed for the
opportunity to read the stories too.
And thanks for helping us once again with the judging Dean.
Not a problem.
Right on, guys.
And I was lucky enough to meet Ben last year when I went over to Osaka,
and that was lovely.
I went to Ben's escape room.
Super, super cool.
And I will recommend to anybody who's travelling to Osaka.
I went to an escape room recently and it wasn't that good.
No, you got to go to Osaka.
Yeah, just pop over.
So it's called Studio Escape.
And the room that we did was the Shadow Zen room,
which is a super cool sort of Japanese themed escape room.
And I've done a few escape rooms now.
My family are nerds like that.
We're into that.
Absolutely, absolutely the best I've ever done.
Really, really cool.
So congratulations Ben.
And hopefully if anyone else is going over to Osaka,
pop in and say hi to Ben in Studio Escape.
So before I reveal my wild card, I just wanted to list some honourable
mentions for wild card, which I don't normally do.
This is new.
Where are you?
This was tough for me this round.
Sometimes I have like one or two stories that stick out to me is like, yeah, I'll,
I'll give this one a nod.
It speaks to me directly.
And this time around there were several stories that did that.
And I was really like, I, I deliberated on this for a long time to
try and work out which one I wanted to award this very special honour to.
So these are some honourable mentions.
These are not wild cards, but these ones that for me,
I just wanted to call out specifically for some qualities.
So it's to say these are all team Ed stories.
We're going to reward our own team with wild cards.
I'm not going to give your team, God forbid, dirty team, a wild card.
So the first one is North for Water by Catherine Mick.
And this was, I'm not sure if you remember this,
this is the motorcycle story, the motorcycle blowing by.
And I just wanted to call this one out for its mood,
some highly evocative riding.
It evoked this idea of dryness and dustiness really effectively.
And it's about a couple that drifts apart.
But it kind of has a very surprising ending as well.
So I found that very moving and very Moody, very metaphorical.
So yeah, I just want to give you a little bit of a
shout out there, Catherine.
I did love your story, as did I.
Another story called Planting by Philip McGann,
and this one just missed out on the long list.
Very close.
I think it was like 41.
******.
So sorry, Philip, We did have to, you know,
we had to make some tough choices as we always do.
But I just want to mention this because I really like the voice.
It was quite melancholy and also an excellent use of subtext there.
So I think I called out some lines from the story as well on the longest episode.
So I just want to I mentioned that again and well done and apologies that you
didn't make the long list, but I felt you deserved another
consideration here as well.
And so the story that I have decided to give the wild card to this one goes to
Jess Grimes for her story Road Trip.
And this was a story about if I could summarise its themes,
about parental disconnections, about living up to expectations.
And again, another story that is rich in subtext,
very much an action focused piece.
But reading between the lines, there was a lot of emotion there.
And I don't think you got it, Amanda.
I don't think you you kind of felt it the same way as I did.
OK.
But it did speak to me very clearly, so I wanted to call that out.
Jess.
So well done.
Jess Grimes on your wild card.
Congratulations.
So, Amanda, tell us about your wild card.
Oh, you want to hear about the superior team?
No, we've already done the superior team.
I want to hear about your team.
Well, this particular story gave me goosebumps.
And I say this everywhere and there's always a small number,
a couple of stories that give me goosebumps and,
and this one certainly did.
And it was a Daisy floating on the Passig River by a a long and it's set in the
Philippines.
And it's quite a dark and sad story, but deeply, deeply moving.
And you know, in my mind was shortlist material.
Didn't make it there in the end, but really,
really beautiful story and very evocative imagery.
So congratulations, A a long.
Your story connected with me on an on an emotional level,
And I always think that's such an achievement.
Yeah.
So thank you and congratulations.
So before we get to the short list, we have one more little order of business
and that's a dishonourable mention.
Yes, dishonourable mention.
Now I feel like we're actually encouraging bad behaviour with these
things, but we would like to award a
dishonourable mention.
So this is a story that didn't make the shortlist but which grabbed our attention
and all the wrong reasons, all the wrong reasons referenced someone
in the not quite right community and I guess dragged them into it's nonsense.
And so we wanted to award this dishonourable mention on this occasion to.
Toranel for his story.
Athena's Law.
Yeah, former winner of the Not Quite right
prize.
Toranel referencing another former winner.
That's it.
Athena Law.
And you know, the story was absolutely unhinged.
It involved a swingers club, some questionable Aussie isms and it was
absolutely good fun.
So thanks, but no thanks.
And you're just going to have to wear that badge of dishonour now.
And so Taranel actually joins an infamous crew of miscreants who have received this
dubious honour in the past, which includes Athena Law, by the way,
exactly So she can't really complain.
It also includes the likes of Caro Robson and Trevor Flanagan and of course,
Holly Sadowski.
And we hope you feel bad about yourself, Taranel,
because what you've done is a bad thing.
And we know you have because you've actually sent us a little message to
atone for your sins.
Hi, this is Tornell, Amanda and Ed.
I would like to apologise for what I wrote.
You see, the the love affair that Athena and I
have it, it transcends time zones.
It transcends confidence and and I'm sure you're familiar with Aberald and Heloise,
A mediaeval monk and nun who who spent a lifetime writing love letters to each
other knowing they could never actually be together.
Well, in the 21st century, that's Tornell and Athena.
Except instead of piety, she's married and I live in New York and
I'm not castrated.
Quite, quite the opposite actually, but but I want to apologise to Athena for
for making our affections public and I want to apologise to the swinging
community.
You are an important part of the culture and without you cruise lines would not be
in business.
So if I offended you or your hot, open minded partner in any way,
you can reach out to me on Instagram and we'll figure something out.
Godspeed and thank you.
You are no monk and none thank you very much.
But apology accepted and we wish you well in your endeavours.
All right, but that being said, let's get to our shortlist proper.
I'm excited to read the first one.
So in 6th place we have from Team Ed Olly, Olly Oxen Free by Emily Rinkema.
So Joe and I definitely counted slowly, and I'll own that we stretched our 30
second countdown into long minutes, plenty of time for the kids to hide and
for us to finish our drinks.
And I'll also own that we didn't look too hard at first, just the normal places.
The front closet, beneath the kitchen sink, under our bed,
in the laundry hamper.
They'd never been the most imaginative of children.
Once we checked those places, we met back in the living room.
Maybe they're gone for good, Joe said, and we laughed.
We even made a few jokes about how much easier it would be without the kids,
how much money we'd save and how much sex we would have,
and how we'd never again have to watch TV shows we didn't want to watch.
We sat down and waited.
We had another drink, we looked at the clock,
and then we tore the ******* house apart looking for them when they still hadn't
emerged from hiding the next morning.
We had to face up to the possibility that our offspring had outsmarted us.
They had found the mother of all hiding places to buy time for searching.
We publicly bemoaned the return of COVID in our household and planted seeds on
social media about the possibility of home schooling.
We fielded a few get well soon messages and texts at first,
a few well meaning challenges to our educational plan.
But our kids were too young to have friendships independent of adults,
and so for the people in our lives, they quickly went from front of mine to
back of mine to out of mind.
And we kept searching.
I swear we looked everywhere.
But after a few weeks, we stopped listening for their laughter
after a month.
We stopped looking for their little bodies in the shadows.
After a year, honestly.
And I'm not proud of this.
We had to keep reminding each other that the game was still on,
that we weren't going to quit, that we needed to look behind the couch
once more, just in case, because you never knew.
Yesterday, a decade since we started counting down
from 30, I asked Joe if he thinks we'll ever see
the kids again.
We were in the living room, our feet up on the coffee table,
enjoying a post sex glass of wine and a Netflix show about a guy with great hair
and a gun.
Kids.
He asked, pausing the show.
He looked genuinely surprised by my question.
I tried to picture them then, to remember what they look like,
what they smelled like, but I got nothing.
Not even a fuzzy image or a faint odour, as if they never even existed.
Never mind, I said, It was a stupid question.
He put his hand on my leg and squeezed.
He poured us each another glass of expensive wine and unpaused the show.
So thank you Emily for your story and thank you for choosing my team.
And back on the shortlist, Emily, well done, well done.
Nice to see you again.
And you know, I love me a little bit of absurdist
humour like this one.
And I love it when it goes all the way as well,
Like the kids are gone and they're gone for good.
And I feel like this is a hallmark of Emily's work because I do like to follow
her and, and, you know, read her stories from time to time and
she often gets published.
And this kind of taking something real and just taking it to its extreme is
something that she does and something that I find really compelling every time.
And it is that real emotional call.
Like even as absurd, absurd.
Say it out loud.
You can't say it out loud as parents.
Look, I'm not going to say anything that I'll
regret here, but let's just say, let's just say we get we get it,
we get it.
We get what those parents are feeling.
And the ending as well, like the funny part is the end where
they've forgotten that the kids ever existed, going all the way and, you know,
exploring that full arc.
So I think you did that very effectively, Emily.
And I think there's something in that for everyone.
Like a little lesson, I suppose that when you want to stand out
in a competition, like it's not all about necessarily drama,
drama, drama, like taking everything to it's extreme.
However, you can stand out by creating a story
that is absurd by by taking something like this is fiction.
We get to do these things right.
And so playing with an idea and seeing how far you can get away with it can be a
really fun way of grabbing judges attention.
And it worked in this case.
So well done Emily, well done.
So that takes us now to 5th place and in 5th place for Team Ed is Purple Pros.
I live Stenhouse.
You don't know me Jay, but I know all about you.
I've spent many days choosing these words.
I'm now reading by your hospital bed, J Dog.
My therapist said I should write down my feelings.
What I'd want to say to you.
A hypothetical exercise though, I guess.
I don't think she imagined I'd actually be sitting here with comatose U.
Good to finally meet you though.
I'd love to say I'm a fan of your work, but I'm not.
You probably wouldn't be a fan of mine either.
It's not my fault though, you took my spot.
You probably first saw my handiwork when the love life rumours hit the socials,
Little Jay.
You wouldn't be the first musician to have such a secret.
I heard you'd started avoiding the public after the 50th time someone asked if
you're a friend of Dorothy.
And then there was the drug Goss.
I really acted myself there.
The leaks to the press.
That you carried more gear than a roadie, That you had more dirty habits than a
nun's laundry.
A planted baggie here.
Some footage with a dealer there.
I'm surprised that last one worked, by the way.
But hey, we all look the same, don't we?
Besides, did you really make it that hard for
people to accept your nodding out half the time?
And who could forget the assault arc when Greg got that black eye on the ski trip
After all the cocaine whispers, the public were deliciously quick to
believe the story I put out there that you'd king hit him for asking you if
there was any powder on the slope.
I'm not sorry I took that to a racist place, though.
It's about time one of us got some use out of why it is.
Slurs ain't irony a thing, they say.
Fate loves irony too, Doctor J.
And I reckon it was crushing pretty hard when it took you out asleep at the wheel,
the police said drifted into oncoming traffic.
But truth be told, I could have told you years ago that you
had trouble getting out of other people's lanes.
The biz only had room for one of us, and you took my ******* spot.
I can't take credit for the crash.
I admit that was all you.
But I'd like to think my efforts contributed to the fatigue that left you
broken when that little black car smashed into your big red one.
So broken that the paramedics were surprised you were alive.
But I wasn't.
You've always been a cockroach.
Impossible to squash.
Don't worry, J Man, the accident gave me time to get up to
more mischief.
I've put some things on your computer that are really going to make your agent
sweat.
One children's entertainer to another.
I can't wait to see the look on your face.
One of these days you'll open those eyes, give those toes wiggle any day now.
Go on, wake up, Jeff.
Wake up chess, Everybody's wiggly.
Wake up chess, we really need you.
Wake up chess, You're missing all the fun now.
Wake up, Jeff, before the day's through.
Oh, can you keep that noise down?
I'm trying to sleep.
First of all, absolutely ******* love that story.
Live.
Holy **** you had me lolling.
I have to say, and I'm not sure that everyone among our
listeners will get it, so I will explain.
This story is about Jeff Fat, the purple wiggle,
famously the wake up Jeff wiggle, and the story is told so subtly and it's
not till that final line.
I I definitely got to the final line and then immediately had to read the whole
story again and get all those little fun little clues.
The big red car.
Are you a friend of Dorothy?
Just the J man references, references to Greg the cockroach
reference, like it's all there and really good fun.
So listen back again and enjoy that.
But you know, maybe this story is not for everyone.
A bit of a controversial pick perhaps, but it got to me, I have to say.
And I I ****** myself.
Look, it was a fun twist and it was a great
voice as well.
Like, I love this idea of the vengeful
children's entertainer who's had their spot taken.
And I can imagine that is a cutthroat industry behind the scenes, right?
Jeff would be rich as ****.
Imagine if you know, and you're just **** **** **** who's like
doing children's parties or whatever, you know, and these guys are so, so rich,
just singing nonsense and just waggling their fingers at people.
And you know, you were talking about in the long list
episode, having empathy for our characters.
And I really felt like I got the empathy in this one,
but mainly just enjoyed the humour of it all.
I just want to acknowledge though, there's some deeply,
you know #problematic stuff in this story.
Some goes to a bit of a racist place a couple of times and and starts to go down
a deeply dark and depressing path, which is mostly just implied and hinted
at rather than stated about what might be put on a computer,
which is a little bit triggering in the Australian children's literature
community at the moment.
Yeah.
And a children's author who I've met and who I respected has recently gone down in
flames for some accusations, another one not that long ago.
And so it's like, really quite raw at the moment, but, yeah,
some, some problematic stuff.
But you know what?
Like, it's a great ******* story, so I don't care.
Yeah.
As depressing as that is, this story is very funny.
And I really appreciated it.
And I appreciate it, honestly, that Liv took those risks.
I'm not sure that this story would do well anywhere,
but they're not quite right.
There are a few stories that are like that.
But, you know, you found your people, and we love that.
You know what?
I hope Jeff Fat hears this episode somehow.
The listener, I'm sure and so Jeff, if you are listening,
I'm sorry if you are, we love you wake up.
Can you keep that noise down?
I'm trying to sleep.
So that takes us to 4th place, and in fourth place for Team Amanda is
Newton's Laws.
The Physics of Marriage by Julia Knopf Inertia A marriage remains at rest or in
steady motion unless acted upon by a force.
When people ask Rob and Linda how they met,
one of them will recount that first quiz.
Linda's clever answer to the Newton's laws question.
Rob's sketch of Linda catching an apple in her mouth.
And it feels like they're talking about other people,
That Rob and Linda were hot for each other.
Rob noticed Linda's quick witted confidence, then her laugh.
Linda spotted Rob's drawing on the quiz booklet and introduced herself.
Drinks led to a shared taxi, drunken sex in a hallway and a hungover
breakfast in bed, sex in the kitchen and plans to do it all
again the next weekend.
23 years later, after buying a house, marrying and raising two children,
this Rob gets hard over the sketches of nudes in an art magazine.
This Linda prefers early nights and the sex she finds in novels.
Force and Acceleration Change occurs within a marriage when a force is applied.
The greater the force, the greater the change.
Inspired by his art magazine, Rob signs up for an evening class in Life
Art.
Linda thinks it'll do him good.
She misses his sketches.
Later, after his first class, Linda asks Rob about the model,
and he can't keep the excitement from his voice as he says she's gorgeous.
Remind me of you when we met before the kids.
Linda cries in the bathroom with the tap running into the sink.
Next week, she sweats through her first CrossFit
class.
As crosstown Rob sketches, drawing more from memory than sight,
action and reaction.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
As Rob rekindles his love of sketching, Linda rediscovers her hip bones,
then a libido.
She enjoys long post workout showers at the gym, relearning her body.
He loses himself in paint, capturing the fullness of a curve,
the stepping stones of a spine, the shade of an armpit,
both satisfied in old ways that feel newly earned.
Linda is flattered by the attention of her CrossFit instructor,
a homemade kale smoothie, free private coaching,
then an invitation to an out of town competition.
She says yes, knowing he has designs on her newly toned
body.
Rob makes the most of their weekend apart.
He finishes his first painting, then cheques out study options.
Linda is relieved when her instructor finally makes his move in the hotel spa.
Drawn to the uncomplicated want of it, she follows him to the left, then stops.
Rob opens the application form, fills in his details, and pauses.
He leaves the tab open, revisiting it several times over the
weekend.
By the time Linda arrives home, Rob has still not submitted the
application.
This course is full time, there will be others.
He closes the laptop and tidies away.
He fetches his painting and presents it to Linda.
It's beautiful.
Linda nude laughing, biting an apple.
Not young, not perfect, not static.
An object in motion.
So congratulations, Julia on a beautiful story.
And I will be honest, this story made me teary and I think it's
just so cleverly done.
You know, we talk about seeding clues and hints in
a story when you do want to do that little twist at the end.
And I think one of the most beautiful lines is this one just towards the end of
that second section.
Next week, she sweats through her first CrossFit
class as across town, Rob sketches, drawing more from memory than sight.
And you know, that kind of implies that he's just so
infatuated with his life model that he just got her memorised.
But actually we learn at the end of the story that he's sketching from his
memories of.
And I think that's just so beautiful.
And I think a really pivotal sort of point for this story.
And that kind of stuff is not an accident.
You know, this is a very clever device that Julia
has used in this story to, in my opinion, to great effect.
And we talk also about how to make characters come alive and feel full.
And I think these ones, do they have details about their life and
interests that flow through without requiring back story.
It's just kind of in the action.
And so we can like see these people in our imagination,
but also there's enough missing, I guess, from them that we can also put ourselves
in the story and identify with them.
So that's a hard line I think to walk to give enough of a character that they feel
real and also hold enough back that you can identify with them.
And I think you've done that very well in this story.
And just on that detail thing, I think what Julia has also done really
well here is select just very specific relevant details.
As you say, we don't know everything about these
people, but the details we do know are all
extremely relevant to this specific story.
And this device of the Apple coming through and linking that back to Newton
is also very clever.
It's very cohesive and it makes that story feel complete and self contained,
which is very satisfying in the flash format too.
So that's something I would definitely recommend people mimic if they can.
I will say though, and I don't know if you agree with me, Ed,
that you know, we talk about hermit crab fiction
sometimes and I almost love this story in spite of its format.
Yeah.
So breaking it up into those different rules is not normally what makes a
satisfying story for me, but in this case, worked really,
really well and added something to the story rather than kind of distancing us
from it.
It brought it into that hole where their relationship began,
and then that circular ending linking it back to the apple from the start as well.
So in this case, I think that was the right choice.
Yeah.
I'm always wary when I come across a like a hermit crab or like something that has
that structure that is very intentional and authorial.
I do agree that in this case, it works very well.
I think those little force and acceleration, action and reaction,
obviously, they're part of your kicker prompt,
their response to your kicker prompt.
A really good response, a clever one.
Yeah.
And they also really do.
I mean, they fit the story.
They accentuate what's happening in the story, and it works really well.
And.
Yeah, it's a lovely story with a with a lovely
ending.
It reminded me of that.
Do you know that Simpsons episode where Homer goes on the work?
Oh, Mindy, with Mindy and.
And it has the similar kind of ending where Marge turns up and there's the
fortune cookies.
Do you remember that episode?
Fortune cookie.
I'll stick with your wife where you'll find me love.
We're out of the stick with your wife fortune cookies.
Sorry.
That's funny because I was thinking of the bowling ball on All right.
Anyway, congratulations, Julia on a beautiful story and on 4th
placing as well.
Well done.
All right, so that brings us to the podium,
which is always very exciting.
So third place, bronze medal, whatever you want to call it.
And for 3rd place, this author will be winning 500
Australian dollars.
And of course, as with all the shortlisted stories we're
reading in this episode, will appear in our anthology at the end
of the year as well.
You'll be the 3rd edition this year.
Exciting.
So without further ado, in 3rd place for Team Ed is Gender
Conceal by Claire Sands.
Molly knew she was going to do it again, even though she promised herself she
wouldn't.
The couple in her last appointment hadn't really done anything wrong as such.
Not like the guy who had questioned her ability as a sonographer and requested a
higher ranking male.
She just hadn't warm to them.
Maybe it was his obvious preference for a son.
Maybe it was her obsession with questions about when she'd lose the baby weight.
Either way, as Molly moved the ultrasound probe to
trace the outline of their baby boy, she knew what was about to come out of
her mouth again.
Congratulations, you're having a girl.
The very slight droop of the father's shoulders, despite the mother's delight,
was reward enough for the vindictive streak in Molly to feel justified.
There, she had fed the beast.
She would get a few days respite now.
Alone in the consultation room, Molly snapped off her gloves and flung
them in the bin.
The inevitable guilt tangled with her grief crept inside the familiar hollow
she carried.
She tried to reason it out.
It wasn't like she did it to everyone, for example.
She'd never do it to a single mother.
She just resented people's need to know everything nowadays.
Why wasn't a healthy baby sufficient?
Why did parents need to know which gender they were getting with such certainty?
She hoisted herself up onto the bed next to the ultrasound,
lifted her scrub top to reveal her stomach,
and applied gel before running the probe over her lower abdomen.
The screen attempted to show her what her mind was failing to comprehend.
Crazy grey and white flecks highlighted the absence of what she'd lost in an
almost apologetic way.
Maybe that's why she felt so hollow.
The surgery had left a void she no longer held,
a uterus that was patiently waiting to have life planted within it.
It had been removed, cast aside, reduced to a problem to be sorted before
it had even been allowed to fulfil its purpose.
Yet that small if still lingered in her thoughts months after.
It was impossible.
If I get pregnant, the if had to be removed too.
I will never be pregnant, she whispered.
The cruel realisation hit her again.
Experiencing the joy of a baby's quickening was something she would be
denied.
She placed the probe back in its holder, wiped away the gel and with it the
fragile hope of sharing what so many of her patients had known.
Her grief slowly morphed back to anger snaking through her and strangling any
remnants of hope fighting to survive.
And then Molly knew one thing for sure.
She was probably going to do it again.
Later that afternoon, an obnoxious husband in a tweed jacket
who completely ignored Molly during his wife's appointment,
turned to her and said, Well, what's the sex?
Molly smiled, drew in a breath, met his eyes without blinking,
and said It's a boy.
So thank you, Claire, for your story and welcome to the
shortlist.
You've long listed before, but this is your first time, I believe,
on the shortlist, so very well done.
This was a lovely story, and I hesitate to say lovely because it
was an interesting choice of words.
It did definitely have a flawed protagonist.
And I spoke on the long list episode about like,
what makes a flawed protagonist compelling to me.
And this is the kind of story that I had in mind.
1 You know, I'll say it's relatable.
The crime is a misdemeanour maybe, but one with a petty crime.
A petty crime, but one that does have quite big
implications for the people who are on the receiving end.
But what comes through is like the reasons.
And it's not just because they're an evil person,
it's because they are flawed in a way that is not really their fault.
And they're in pain, right?
They're in pain.
And that makes it very relatable and understandable.
And we feel for this protagonist.
And also, I mean, we are presented with some of the ways in
which the people she's acting against are flawed to.
Yeah, that's true.
And maybe presented as not innocent.
And that helps too, right?
Because when we talk about being relatable,
like if we're doing horrible things, it's usually to people that we think
deserve it too, you know?
Right.
So I think that was clever.
That's good.
Close third perspective as well because you're getting her thoughts coming
through.
And that is another thing that like helps us identify with this character is that
they're also like showing that they do have morals and values and things like
that and you know, expressing themselves where they think
they have some justification, even though that's misguided,
we can understand why they feel that way.
And one other thing that came through for me in this story is that real raw emotion.
And Claire's quite open about her journey as a woman who wanted children very much
but does not have children.
She has her own podcast in which she talks about grief and loss with her
husband, and it's a wonderful listen.
If that's something that's interesting to you, go and check it out.
It's called the Silent YWHY.
And I don't know, like you can often feel that realness
come through when someone writes a story that's coming from a very genuine place.
We talked about the tropes in the long list episode as well,
the flash fiction tropes for which we have an article.
And one of those is very callously called the dead baby trope, right?
We that's what we call it because we get these stories in which there is infant
loss at some stage and often mishandled and treated in a way that is just like
for maximum drama.
And then you get a story like this where I mean, it's not even infant loss.
It's, it's the loss of that opportunity and
it's treated with such care and coming from such a, a place of real raw emotion.
And, and we feel that and you can get that
through a story.
And I think that's really amazing that we can connect that way with each other as a
reader and as an author through just words on a page.
And that's exactly what the art of writing fiction is all about.
So this is a perfect example of that.
And I really appreciate, Claire, you putting yourself into this story.
It really resonated and you should be very proud.
Congratulations on your third placing.
Well done, Claire.
And I just wanted to say something about the judging process here.
That was very strange.
This round, when we receive all of the stories,
we don't read them in the order that they arrived.
They each get a random number that's applied when you submit your story.
And we read them basically in that random order that that gets applied.
And this was the very first story in the list.
And I think it's the only time that the first story in the list has gone on to
make the shortlist.
But for me, it's set the standard for what was to
come.
It's set a pretty high standard as well.
I kept referring back to that.
And another coincidence is the following story.
The number two Storey was actually the one that came forth.
That's Newton's laws, the physics of marriage, which was,
in fact, my first story.
Which is the first one in your group?
Yeah, the first in mine.
Yeah.
And as with you, that set the standard, too,
and that's what everybody else was trying to live up to after that point.
So kind of funny.
Yeah.
Really strange.
But yeah, it's just a bit of a coincidence there.
All right, so let's move on to the next place.
And that's second place, the silver medal.
What kind of ribbon is that?
Blue ribbon is the winner.
What's is a red ribbon?
It's red.
Yeah, it's red.
In fact, my my daughter got a red ribbon and a
swimming carnival the other day, so I should know that.
Congratulations.
She was very excited.
Well, the recipient of this red ribbon will
receive $1000 Australian dollars in cash, which is actually worth a little bit more.
Now, let's not get into politics.
But it is.
And they will not actually be receiving a red ribbon,
but they will see their story published in our anthology at the end of the year.
Absolutely.
And the story that will receive that honour of 2nd place for Team Ed is
Patrick by Michael Stone.
Just before we get into this story, I just wanted to issue a little content
warning.
And we don't always do this.
We do have a sort of general content warning at the start of the episode.
And of course, all pieces of fiction run the risk of
bringing up stuff that's real, but I just wanted to do one in this case.
So it does deal with the issue of sexual assault of a minor.
I'll say it's not described in graphic detail or anything like that.
It's very much implied.
So I'll just leave it up to you as to what you're comfortable to listen to.
So if that's something that's an issue for you,
skip it or come back when when it's something that you're able to hear.
In the dim of December, when the Pines kowtow to the weight of
snow, Claire takes John from chem class Turkey
shooting in Saunders Farm.
She knew he'd come because God knows he's always wanted to **** her and hadn't she
been warned of that?
Boys will chase him, John says.
Why didn't we do this in November?
Thanksgiving and all that.
In November?
She didn't need to build a gut is why It's my gun, Claire says.
I decide when your dad's gun step dad prick keeps the Beretta in the unlocked
shed.
Never knew it went missing.
Never knew she hid it beneath her pillow a whole ******* time.
How much it hold?
John asks.
13 rounds.
Claire lies.
It's 15, but she means to save 2.
The wild turkeys thrust forward, their live necks tugging the fat of their
bodies after them.
They slip over the snow smothered field between the stubble of corn stalks.
Claire hates stubble.
Grit against her shoulder, high with fury, she plants her feet, taking aim.
That from the front.
See it?
Yep, boy, you shoot a Turkey, you got to name it.
Why?
John asks.
Makes it real.
What's his?
Patrick.
Patrick first shot staggers.
Patrick second shot slumps it.
The others lurch into the sky with a frantic batter and fly.
Third shot punches meat, but no jet of blood, no burst of feathers,
no splendid display.
And up close you don't like its look.
The bleary, unwavering eyes don't flinch at her
pistol.
It's like a toy in her hand.
John whistles over the hole in the breast, blood weeping into the matted barbs of
parted feathers.
Patrick, he says appreciatively.
Claire says.
Put your finger in the hole.
Tom laughs.
I'm serious.
Boy's face goes limp.
I'm not.
Claire points the gun at him and he stumbles on his **** with a Jesus don't,
don't in a mind.
She fastens his horror over her step dad's face.
Put your finger in the hole, she says.
John crawls nose down to the Turkey with a snot popping *** while he trembles his
finger towards the hole.
Claire puts in her mind her stepdad as he left the bathroom,
the pudge of his belly limping over the towel,
the weight that crushed her breath solid, the burn of 5:00 shadow and that vile
tickle of pleasure, that betrayal from her own ******* body.
Soon as John's finger slips in, she imagines everything differently,
pulling the Beretta from under the pillow, horror curdling his face and soft
regretful resignation.
She pops 2 quick bullets into Patrick and John yelps up,
flicking blood in the snow and she fires again, again, again,
watching the punch and ripple of the flesh and again, again,
again till the Beretta slide locks back and click click click.
John's crying from fear and Claire from fury and righteous elation,
from the peace and worry of holding a toy in her hand.
Take Me Home, she pleads.
Just Take Me Home.
So congratulations, Michael Stone, and welcome back to the shortlist.
2 in a row, isn't it?
And two second places in a row, Yes.
So it was dead beef last time and this time with Patrick.
So congratulations.
Like just backing it up.
Well done.
And there's a few things that, you know, listening to this story that don't come
through.
And one thing is the lack of like, capital letters in the story.
It's written in a certain style.
So all of the sentences just start lower case.
And there are no proper nouns with the exception of 1.
And that is the name Patrick.
It's the only capitalised word in the story.
And obviously Patrick is the significant figure in the mind of the protagonist.
It's the name of the Turkey.
And we're never told, but we assume that it's the name of her
stepfather as well.
And that's really powerful, you know, powerful use of subtext there.
And normally I'm also very sceptical when I encounter a story that has such an
obvious style.
That's something that is very intentional because sometimes writers can rely on
that, really to impart that little bit extra.
Yeah.
I think the issue can be, though, when an author makes a big,
bold choice like that and it feels like they're just doing it for themselves.
Yeah, exactly.
And it's not helping to communicate something to the reader.
And that's a really risky approach.
You know, you need the reader to be on board with
what you're doing.
And so when you sort of break with convention,
you run the risk that you're also going to disconnect from your reader.
And I think in this case, you really towed that line pretty closely
there.
It could have gone one way or the other.
Like it's certainly got our attention.
So there's that.
And in another way, it's sort of, I find it a little confronting to read
something that is so bold and dispensing with convention.
But you do like to follow the rules.
I do like to follow the rules, yes.
That is something about me.
But it's not really about that.
It's more like trying to find that place, piece of connection.
And I think by the end of the story, you got it, you know,
maybe not when you first pick it up, but by the end.
And it is an art form too, right?
And so there are other tools at your disposal and that's one of them.
And I think in this case, that choice, it reflects that for this character,
there is kind of nothing else in her world apart from Patrick right now.
She needs to get him out because everything else is like bleak and grey in
her life and Patrick is the only.
Thing that she can focus on and I think that's an artful way to to express that.
Yeah.
I felt if I were to read this story and the capitalization was normal,
it would still be just as good.
Yeah.
But I, I feel like doing that and emphasising
that in another way through the use of capitalization,
I felt enhanced the story in this case.
And it wasn't like a gimmick.
It wasn't just for the sake of doing it.
It really, it felt kind of raw for.
There's something about it that felt very real.
Yeah.
And look, I just want to, again, focus on all the language in the story
and the little details and just devastating little clues about what this
protagonist has gone through.
There's a moment early on where the narrator describes the stubble of the
corn stalks.
And Claire hates stubble, the grit against her shoulder, which,
you know, reflects what she would have gone through,
which is.
And all that she's dealing with.
And the way that she deals with it is to tell him to put his finger in the hole.
And we can only imagine why she's doing that.
Yeah.
And it's very disturbing.
It's very dark as well.
And it reminds me of the of the story that won the last round as well,
in its darkness and its themes as well.
And love it.
Yeah.
I mean, it really is a master class in subtext.
I think that was a key feature of Michael's last story as well.
So if, you know, you're a newer writer and you wonder
about what subtext means exactly, that's what it is, right.
She's talking about the Turkey.
Yeah.
And mentioning the stubble.
Yeah.
And we know that's not what she's talking about or what she's thinking about.
And that can be hard to achieve, but it's always,
always worth trying for that to give us something and have us know what it means.
It's very much a show, don't tell trick and something to strive
for.
But what I think Michael does here very well and what is very important when it
comes to subtext is be still very, very clear so the reader gets to do the
work.
But as we've said before, with subtext, he's given us all the puzzle pieces and
we just get to put them together.
And that makes for a very satisfying read.
So thank you so much for another powerful story, Michael.
It is upsetting.
It's pretty dark, but, you know, like, that's real.
That's people's real experience.
And I think it's important to make people feel sane in that way.
So thank you, Michael, for your story.
But now we move on to the pointiest and holistic so, so Pointy,
the recipient of the Pointy Trophy and 1500 Australian dollars publication in
the 2026 Not Quite right prize anthology and actually will be the first story in
that publication as well, the very first one.
And I am particularly excited about this first place holder.
We will get to that, yes to the story.
But now we are excited to announce in first place the winner of the January
2026 Not Quite Right Prize for Flash Fiction for Team Amanda is watching Jude
Law's critically acclaimed performance in the movie Gattaca at 4:17 AM on a
Thursday by Elise Scott.
Jude Law tells Ethan Hawke that he used to be destined for greatness,
but now he gestures to his legs canted to the side in his wheelchair.
I want to show him how to adjust the leg rest.
His back would feel so much better, but I can't,
so I stare at his drawn up knees, knobby and awkward as a pile of all you
can eat crab legs.
I think of the fisherman's fist as he rips twitching limbs from a frantic
creature desperate for the sea.
The critch of it felt but not heard.
Pain isn't just a sensation, I tell Jude Law.
It's the unmade sound scrabbling at the cage of your ribs,
the one you can't hear unless your own flesh and chitons are coming apart at the
seams.
I want him to understand.
Ethan Hawke can't see him.
He only wants the parts of you he can use, I say.
Ethan Hawke says Jude Law should be the one going into space because up there
your legs wouldn't matter.
I shake my head.
The motion sends a cascade of electric violence scurrying down my spine on claw
tipped feet so brutally beige I can taste the bitter hue of hospital in the back of
my throat.
Your legs would matter more than ever.
I hiss through clenched teeth.
What are you if not your story?
I want him to see that he could glide through the infinite blue,
if only he could let his story unfurl.
But he can't see himself at all.
He's chased the truth of himself away with sarcasm and booze.
Jude Law flings himself onto the floor and pulls himself up the stairs,
Anadramus choking on Sweetwater after a lifetime of salt.
Convincing the world he's not disabled is his only noble moment.
All the value he has.
I press my lips together.
I have to pee, so I pause him mid journey and fling
myself out of the bed.
Halfway there my pain softens to a blurry hum.
Bad sign.
My vision tunnels and loses colour.
I dim and brighten with the beat of my skittering heart and crawl the rest of
the way on hands and knees.
This is how my body works, I tell Jude Law.
It's not heroic or tragic.
Sometimes I'm other things, but right now I'm this.
Do you see Jude Law caught on my chipped screen like a half frozen river sees
nothing outside.
The chickadee sings Is all bad.
I pull myself back into bed.
The world is backlit black against deep blue promise.
My pillows and my pain points line up like Syzygy.
All at once.
I'm floating in a sea of stars.
Sometimes it's like this.
Sometimes my breath is unfettered.
No, I tell Jude Law.
I refuse to watch him roll himself into a crematorium and sear himself to Char.
Instead, I'll remember him like this, his curving spine eloquent with promise.
We too, are creatures of sea and sky.
We deserve better stories than this.
So thank you so much for your story, Elise,
and massive congratulations on your win.
We are so pleased to see you win.
I love this story for many reasons.
It's a strange one actually, because it is just a single character,
right, interacting with their environment.
And we often warn about introspection and encourage action,
but the way that you've written this, there are actually another 2 characters
that are in the story, and that's Jude Law and Ethan Hawke.
And obviously great take on Amanda's kicker there.
But you've also written that into the action of the scene.
So everything that this person is thinking and going through all plays out
on the scene that's happening on the TV screen.
So it feels very active.
It feels very present, and it doesn't feel internal at all.
And, you know, thematically, it's this idea of someone struggling with
themselves.
And, you know, the same time they're searching for
representation, someone who can understand them.
And they're also, in a way, like searching for escapism.
Yeah.
And I think, too, like, one of the reasons why we would normally
advise against this sort of interiority is because it often lacks conflict.
You know, the stories that we describe as a
vignette and two interior are ones in which a character sort of already knows
what they think and they just think it through.
And then the, you know, the moment ends with no change and no
sense of conflict throughout.
It's just a person thinking their own thoughts.
Whereas in this story, there is so much conflict,
but only between Ethan Hawke and Toon Law in the movie,
but also between this character and what the movie is portraying and perhaps even
between this character and their own conflicting thoughts about what it means
to have a disability.
And I think that's very resonant too, because I think for people who have a
disability or are in the disability community,
it often can feel conflicted like that.
Sometimes you feel powerful and that it defines you in a way that makes you feel
good and special.
And at other times, of course, you hate it.
You hate your life, you hate what it does to you.
You hate how it limits you in ways that other people don't have to go through.
And so you do have this conflicting feeling.
Sometimes it's OK when someone tells you you're heroic because it helps you feel
seen in, in how much effort you put in.
And then other times makes you feel like **** because you're like, I'm not,
I'm just living here.
I'm just living my life and, and it's not heroic to be me.
How dare you?
You know, and you can have all of these thoughts
and they can all coexist in yourself.
And I think that, you know, I don't have a disability myself.
I obviously my husband has a disability.
My mum did too.
Unfortunately hers is less of an issue now.
But of course, we're all only ever a moment away from
joining the disability community.
And that's something worth remembering at times, too, when we need empathy for that.
Yeah.
But it's not until you're in this community that you understand.
And I think Elise, in the brief explanation field, too,
shared some information about becoming disabled and how that impacts the
perception of something like a movie in which disability is being represented,
and perhaps represented in a way that can be unhelpful, too.
Yeah.
It's presented as though Jude Law is like transcending his body when he self
immolates, but he is his body too, and, and that's a part of him.
And so it's all of that mixed up together.
And, and I found it incredibly powerful.
I believe I said on Twitter that it hit me in the fields and it really,
really did.
It's a powerful piece of fiction and one that I think will be resonant for many
people in the disability community and those outside the community who can feel
empathy for that too.
Absolutely.
And we've we've gotten to know Elise as well in recent weeks.
Elise helped us out with judging for Flesh fiction as you're here on our
forthcoming episodes for that.
So, yeah, we've gotten to know Elise quite well,
and we do judge this blind.
So we had no idea who wrote this story, but we were so thrilled when we revealed
the winners to ourselves to find that you had taken the top spot.
Absolutely.
And congratulations.
Talk about conflicting emotions.
Like, I couldn't have been more happy that
Elise took out first place.
But then I'm like, oh God, like people are going to think, you know,
that we we rigged it or something.
But I, I hope anybody listening to this episode
can hear why we chose Elise's story.
And Elise has of course made the shortlist before very,
very early days with another very powerful story.
So you can go back and read that one too if you'd like to.
But I think the story speaks for itself.
So thank you so, so much, Elise.
And I know you would have worked hard on this story.
I know you would have poured a lot of yourself into it.
And that really comes through.
And it's worked for you on this occasion.
Absolutely.
So at least 1500 Australian dollars will be heading your way very soon and you
will be featured in this year's Not Quite Right Prize anthology.
But more importantly, we will also be sending you a pointy
trophy with your name on it.
Absolutely.
But there's a few things left to take care of in this episode before we wrap up.
I think we need to see where we stand finally on the team.
So I just want to start off by saying that, you know, Team Amanda won.
Are you ready to concede?
No, shut up.
I'm not at all.
This is not my concession speech.
This is very much me claiming victory, which is that a team Amanda story won the
entire competition.
So suckered.
Thanks, Elise, for being on my team.
And look, I think on a on that note, I want to pat ourselves on the back
because we were quite objective when it got to like the long list and the
shortlist level.
And we weren't thinking about like whose team the stories were on.
We just wanted to reward those stories that we thought were better in the way
that we always do.
We want the top stories to, you know, rise to the top and, and they did that.
And I think the clearest proof of that is that, unfortunately,
Team Ed did win everything this round when it came down to the points.
And if you were mathema chickening it, you would have probably figured that out
after the long list episode, at which point it became impossible for
Team Amanda to win.
So congratulations, I guess, to Team Ed.
But, you know, as you say, we were objective.
I am very good at arguing, and if I needed to, I would have.
But we do believe that the cream rose to the top here.
But yeah, what that also means is that everybody on
Team Ed who did not win a cash prize, as in whose name wasn't mentioned in any
of the cash prizes here in this episode, now goes into a draw for the bonus prize.
And the bonus prize is a coaching session with me, which we will arrange shortly.
But also a not quite right hoodie, an extremely limited edition,
not quite right hoodie.
But let's do the draw on air, shall we?
So before we do the draw, I just want to thank the whole team for
like, coming together and choosing me.
And I will try not to rub it in Amanda, at least not on air.
But the final counts just to just to get them on the record.
We mentioned in the long list that overall story count.
And within the long list, we had 26 stories in my team and 14
stories in your team.
So just as with the leaderboard, each long list story gets one point,
each short list story gets 2 points, and the winner gets 3 points.
And so the final points count, all things being considered,
was Team ED-30, Team Amanda 17.
So a decisive victory, decisive in the points,
very close in the overall numbers.
And of course, your team did contain the winner.
So, you know, mixed bag.
It wasn't it wasn't a landslide, but I'll claim the victory.
Let's be honest, you'll gladly claim it.
All right.
But now what everyone is waiting for, everyone on Team Ed now has a chance to
win that extra prize.
So we're going to do this in a really fancy way.
We're going to use an Excel spreadsheet for this one.
We're going to put all the Team Ed stories onto a spreadsheet.
And then we're going to randomly select using the formula,
the winner of this prize.
But we're going to pretend a little bit that there's a,
there's a physical machine in the room with us and like everyone has a little
ball in the machine and it's bubbling around.
Maybe I can get a sound effect going that we can add that in.
So we can, you know, construct that image in your little mind
powers, as we as we like to say.
OK.
So the winner of the bonus prize from Team Ed for the January 2020 sixth round
of the Not Quite Right prize is Blue Ribbon by Dalton Martinelli.
Congratulations, Dalton.
So we'll be getting in touch with you.
But as with all of the winners in this episode today,
please feel free to email us at contact@notquiteright.
com once you've heard your name and then we can arrange your prize straight away.
We like to sort of wait till you've got the chance to hear it because some people
like to, you know, have that big reveal moment.
So we want to give you that opportunity.
So if you just email us, then we know you've seen it and we can
organise your prize right away.
Otherwise we'll contact you eventually.
Yes, eventually.
So congratulations Dalton and once again, huge thank you to everyone who has
entered.
Especially if you chose my team, which was the winning team,
but especially if you chose team Amanda, the underdog team, the underdogs.
I'm super excited to see what's going to happen next round.
Does this, will this impact or influence choices for
I wonder?
Yeah, we could start a landslide.
Well, do let us know in the feedback if that is
the case, but a little bit more housekeeping to be
done before we wrap up.
So for the people who did shortlist and win,
and also recipients of wild card prizes, check the website.
If you go to the honour roll, you'll find upgraded badges there.
So if you did have a long list before, that'll be upgraded to your shortlisted
place or your wild card.
And you can boast about them all over again on social media.
Always fun boasting.
You would know all about that, wouldn't you?
I'm trying to hold it back to be to be fair, you are restraining yourself.
Yeah, magnanimous in victory.
But I did win.
And so also by now, the leaderboard counts will be updated.
So if you head on into the community and click on that leaderboard link,
you'll be able to see where they stand.
And I haven't as a recording.
I haven't crunched the numbers yet, so it'll be interesting to see.
How things are changing at the top there's always good fun a few people back
on the shortlist yes back in the long list,
so those counts do have a potential to move around as well.
That's it a bit of an upset and I'll be posting an extract of the leaderboard on
social media as well, so check it out there if you'd like as
well and if you've signed up for a coaching package this round,
they will be happening soon.
You probably already booked in the time.
Mm hmm.
With Amanda, but if you haven't, there are still some left for the April
round.
The coaching package is a one on one with Amanda for half an hour to talk about
your story or your writing in general and to have some direct one on one feedback.
Yeah, so that's happening online, although this round I get to meet someone
in person.
We've decided to hang out because it's a local.
Yeah.
So we're going to be doing that one in person.
So that'll be good fun.
But you know, obviously we've got people all over the
world and I mean, look, if you're willing to fly me out there,
I will come and meet you in person, but probably more realistically online.
So really, really looking forward to that.
I have found the first rounds coaching sessions that I did,
I found it very rewarding for me and I hope that the participants found it
enlightening and helpful for them too in their craft.
So really looking forward to that.
But we've also got our daredevils to come.
Yes, there's a lot more coming in the podcast
feed in the coming weeks.
As always, from next week on, we'll have all of our Daredevils dropping.
There's five Daredevils this round, a lot of newbies and some regulars or
return daredevils as well.
Well, for those who are new daredevils, we read out the stories that people
submitted to this round of the prize, as we just did on this episode.
But we spend we do a little bit of a deep dive and and critique on the story.
So we'll read them out, we'll break them apart and we will roast
the author of the story.
But a lot of people have expressed that their favourite episodes because we do go
in depth.
So if you're looking for some tips on how to elevate your flash fiction,
definitely give those a listen.
Absolutely.
We learn something every time.
We definitely do, yeah.
We will also have at some point a regular episode of the podcast.
We have not had one in a very long time.
We've been furiously reading all the flesh fiction,
all the flash fiction entries.
So we haven't had time to read Poe.
I know you've been doing a little bit recently.
I have.
And in fact, I would recommend this to people.
So we had an article that we posted on the website and it's called Reading Rex
for Perverts.
And if you are interested in sort of having a bit of a read,
but in advance of that episode, you can check out the recommendations,
which actually came from the curator of the Poe Museum.
So I have not only been reading some online because of course they're free to
read, they're out of copyright, but also listening to them as audiobooks
just for free again on Spotify.
So yeah, if you're one of those people who finds
it easier to squeeze an audiobook into your day,
these short stories and poems are a great listen.
I've been really enjoying that.
So I can thoroughly, thoroughly recommend having a listen or
having a read.
And I'm very excited to talk about those stories as well.
So that regular episode, no promises on when, but it will,
it will happen.
Apart from that, we do also have Flesh Fiction coming soon.
We've recorded your pardon.
We've recorded so much content.
So, so much content.
It's going to take me a while to get through and edit it.
Would you call it an overwhelming amount of content?
I would say overwhelming is an understatement given the fact that we
recorded more than 24 hours of raw audio.
But that means a lot of great content that we're going to be sharing with you.
So there'll be a lot of story readings.
And I think that's part of why we have 24 hours of recorded content is because we
couldn't stop giggling and having to reread half the story.
So mature, but hang around for all of that flesh and
flash fiction content.
But that just about wraps it up for this episode.
We've got one more little treat to share with you after the closing credits.
As always, we will share our, well, let's be honest,
mostly Amanda's vague tweets, which stories we tweeted about.
But before we sign off, just another massive thank you to
everyone who shared your stories with us this round.
We always have fun reading it.
We always love the experience and we're just so pleased to have you with us.
And we love hearing that you've had fun writing for the competition.
We have fun reading.
We have so much fun reading your stories as well.
So hope to see you back again next round.
Absolutely.
We always receive all your stories as if they're like a gift for us,
like maybe a crow bringing like a a coin or something.
That's how it feels.
And I really, someone's been listening to Edgar Allan,
though I do have crows on the brain.
But yeah, thank you.
And I hope it was fun this round.
I hope there were a few fewer headaches this round.
I hope.
I hope the new format did come across as fun for you and and that you did all
enjoy the experience, regardless of the outcome.
Of course, it's always a win when you submit a story.
And if you did love your story again, we encourage you to go submit it.
Go find a forever home, post it on your personal blog,
maybe start working towards your own flash fiction collection.
But whatever happens, we hope you join us again in the next
round and we'll be back in a moment with our vague tweets.
But until then, right on, right on.
Thank you for listening to Not Quite Right.
If you'd like to reach us via email or follow us on social media,
you can find all the links on our website notquiterightpodcast.com that's WRITE.
And if you enjoyed the show, we'd love it if you could leave us a five
star review on your favourite podcasting app.
Something doesn't seem quite right.
OK, so we're back for our vague tweet reveals
and I think there were a few people a little bit disappointed we didn't have
more vague tweets this round.
But anyway, you get what you get and you don't get
upset.
Well, listen, I try, I try my best.
I had to this round.
Oh **** that's like that production is up by 100% or something.
It's there.
I, I tweeted a few times.
Look, this is I've, I've expressed this before.
If you choose Team Ed because you want vague tweets,
I've got some bad news for you.
I do my best.
But listen, also this round, as we mentioned,
we really focused on the reading and we wanted to be able to record as soon as
possible, all that kind of stuff.
We were working quickly and and furiously to get the results sorted.
Yeah, so I'll do my 2 tweets first and then you
can do all of yours.
Sure.
So sounds good.
The first one was first story read, and it's an easy yes for the long list.
Great title.
Excellent use of the prompts, especially the kicker.
I'm hoping this is a taste of things to come and already alluded to it earlier in
the episode.
That story was gender concealed by Claire Sands, and that came third.
So that's the kind of standard you need to hit if you want to get again.
Wasn't that the same last time?
It was, Yeah.
It's a shortlist.
Yeah.
Well, yes, on that note, the the second tweet was well done to
this story with a single word title.
You're my first, first favourite.
And that story was Patrick by Michael Stone, which came second.
So yeah, so your top two stories, basically,
that's what you have to do to get a tweet.
Look, I I'm working on it.
I'm trying to be a better person and improve myself.
So maybe part of that is trying to tweet a little bit more next time.
Most people are trying to tweet less.
There's a happy medium in there somewhere.
All right, well, I'll get into my vague tweets now.
And I'm a little bit more generous with my vague tweets.
You don't have to win to get one.
Although I will start with my first tweet, which was first cab off the not quite
right prize rank.
And I am in tears.
How dare you make me cry.
And with a hermit crab, no less.
And that was a shortlisted story.
That was Newton's Laws, The Physics of Marriage by Julia Knopf
and as we indicated, we each read a shortlisted story first in
our team.
So very interesting fun fact there, but thank you again, Julia.
Next, I said, I have just encountered a very suspicious
story title among the team, Amanda's stories,
and that was Athena's Law by Torinelle.
Now, I, I don't think he needed to reveal that.
I thought that was they might have known what you were exactly.
I mean, I think I was maybe wondering, had Athena sort of disqualified herself?
I knew she had a busy weekend with her birthday weekend and that she wouldn't be
probably putting all of her time and energy into a story,
so I thought perhaps she'd just had fun writing something that she knew wouldn't
be able to win.
But in fact, it was Torronelle who gave us that story.
Next I said I've just read a wild little romp with a wildly big title.
It fascinates me how I can sometimes read an entire story in the wrong POV.
In this case a male POV that was supposed to be female.
Doesn't matter, not always, but it helps to be clear at story set up.
And that was trying hard to avert Trevor's arrest after his outlandish
refusal to till train me his new trainee by Lorena Oates.
And yeah, I mentioned that I had the gender of the
protagonist sort of wrong in my head, which when you look back,
it should have been clear.
But I think the reason is because this story mentions Achilles,
it mentions Troy and Trevor and Brad Pitt.
And so, of course, you know, we were talking about our previous
Daredevil story where we had the war Bros, the bromance and Patrick.
That's it.
And so I think that was still in my head.
And so I think that's why I got a little bit confused in this one.
But interesting how that happens sometimes.
But anyway, thank you Lorena.
Next I said I'm fewer than 20 stories in, but I've encountered what I reckon will
remain my favourite law.
This might be your story if, like me, you enjoy the occasional well placed
swear word.
Now I did love Jude Law, I have to say, but you know I love this one too.
And that was Sammy McLean of the Elm Street Mall parking lot by Leo Jinjai.
And the law being **** around and find out.
That's a law that's bitten many of us in the **** I have to say.
So next I said I accidentally inverted commas.
Found myself amid the Team Ed stories, the very first one a favourite.
A uniquely flawed protagonist, An excellent balance of action in the
scene versus internality, which we need more than ever with flawed
protagonists.
Shortlist material?
And that was, of course, Gender concealed by Claire Sands,
which was the first story in your batch.
And so, yeah, pretty impressive to just stumble on
these powerful stories.
But yeah, I do stand by that.
I do think that internality works when you've got a flawed protagonist because
you get to sort of empathise more deeply with them when you have their perspective.
And in that case, the perspective that these other people
were floored to and they kind of got what was coming to them kind of thing next.
I said, I've just read a poignant team law story
that gave me goosebumps and drew an easy yes out of me.
It may be yours if your story mentions a flower and that was a Daisy floating on
the passage river by a a long, which was my wild card story.
It didn't didn't quite make the shortlist, but I thought it deserved a mention.
It did give me goosebumps.
It was powerful story.
Next I said though it openly referenced a movie released in 1973,
this story gave me the energy of a very different movie released in 1991.
So naturally I loved it.
Hope you all enjoy overthinking that cryptic clue.
And so the 1973 movie was The Exorcist and the 1991 movie was Drop Dead Fred.
And the story was You and Me and My Friend Steve by Holly Sadowski.
And it was a basically the COV of a girl having an exorcism performed on her
because she's got her imaginary friend Steve there in the room.
And it just really gave me Drop Dead Fred vibes, which I love that movie.
Memorable story.
And Holly has signed up for a Daredevil next round in April,
so that's something to look forward to.
Not to mention a bare devil for flesh fiction.
So we've got more of Holly's stories to come, Holly.
We do.
And I did love that story too.
So it's always disappointing when it doesn't make the shortlist.
But Holly received with love.
Great story.
Next I said the author of this story.
You caught me in the fields real bad and I think I might cry.
This might be your story if you had a clever dual response to the kicker prompt.
And of course that was watching Jude Law's critically acclaimed performance in
the movie Gattaca at 4:17 AM on a Thursday by Elise Scott,
IE our winning story this round.
And Elise responded to that tweet at the time saying, oh,
this one really could be me because Elise was being super supportive and retweeting
our tweets and and sharing the enthusiasm and love of the comp throughout.
So I'm glad to report that Elise, yes, you are right,
that was your story and the dual response, of course,
being Jude Law as the the prominently featured law in the story,
but Elise was also covering this law of biological determinism and,
and thoughts around what that looks like.
So thank you Elise, for hitting me in the fields Basically
again, I was sneaking over to Team Ed.
I said, snuck over to Team Ed to see what's going
on over there.
This story is the first this round to receive strong scores from all three
judges.
A guaranteed long Lister with some shortlist potential for sure.
Damn, I was a little bit disappointed that the
Team Ed story was just floating onto the long list.
And that was our second place story, Patrick by Michael Stone.
And last but not least, my final vague tweet for this round was
just Oh my God, just read the most unhinged Team Ed story
and I'm here for it.
Ha ha ha.
It could be yours if jealousy was your protagonist main motivator for murder.
And that was Purple Prose by Liv Stenhouse and another shortlister.
Another shortlister.
And look, I cannot emphasise enough how hard I
laughed at that story.
I ran into Andy.
He's in the other room.
I ran in.
I'm like, Oh my God, you have to hear about this story.
And I was just paraphrasing it all to him.
And he, he was like a good husband laughing along
with me, but absolutely hilarious.
So thank you, Liv, for that story.
That's it.
That's the that's the vague tweets for this round.