WEBVTT

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Not Quite Right features discussions that
are unfiltered and uncensored,

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and may include themes that are
inappropriate for younger listeners.

c6b56f73-17f8-4bdd-97a1-84dcb5604d2b-0
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Also, I swear a lot.

4b2b3846-6f3f-4b3d-a96a-d925185612bb-0
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Something doesn't seem quite right.

ffbb5b5a-23e5-46d1-979c-3e5308626bd1-0
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Welcome to Not Quite Right.

1391915d-335c-430b-a371-8501a750e5a7-0
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My name's Ed and I'm Amanda.

2ac28e95-1863-45b9-86ec-d5863cb47286-0
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And welcome to the 5th and final
Daredevil for the January 2026 Not Quite

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Right Prize for Flash Fiction.

afc60250-89d7-4671-af2e-45f757d423ee-0
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Now, Daredevils,
our people have signed up for the honour

afc60250-89d7-4671-af2e-45f757d423ee-1
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and privilege of having their story
absolutely annihilated on the podcast.

edef2e3b-399f-4a9c-adfe-737e87d513c7-0
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Which is fun, isn't it?

025fbf28-69b2-4596-a64d-b71326f61c30-0
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It's fun for everyone involved.

7cf478e7-e64a-4948-8ca9-82afead3b1b6-0
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Except for the Daredevil.

46481007-9dab-4c33-b4a8-a927dc4f6549-0
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Only masochists need apply,
which is every writer, let's be real.

401e0f16-7d04-439c-96f1-5dc601361922-0
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But some are masochists in private and
some prefer their pain to be more public.

536d2b7f-b16c-4e3e-a045-528c614910d7-0
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But for the rest of us sadists,
we can watch from a distance.

e3b1497a-c357-44d9-a66c-067750fba499-0
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From a safe distance.

a9ccd171-e522-42f2-b976-c364c5888d0e-0
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What's the safe word here on the
Daredevil?

2acc4a4b-d744-48d3-9e50-ea4846ff084c-0
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Please only I only know unsafe words.

803d70b5-b209-4640-8a05-8b644a6879e8-0
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So we will read out the story,
we'll talk about the story, break it down,

803d70b5-b209-4640-8a05-8b644a6879e8-1
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share our thoughts,
and hopefully all will learn something in

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the process.

353cc014-b26e-40fd-9d21-041c958c25f3-0
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In addition to our schadenfreude from
watching our poor Daredevil get

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annihilated.

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And who is in the hot seat today?

d47cbb5a-6c52-4f29-9275-ca91e56c7cac-0
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In the the devilishly hot seat is
Marianna Saran, First time Daredevil,

d47cbb5a-6c52-4f29-9275-ca91e56c7cac-1
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first time Daredevil, second time entrant.

143b48c1-0027-47f6-91aa-a3a18a48d672-0
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And Mariana has chosen well and chosen
the winning team this round.

0cc29c62-554d-4d6d-9a44-964ea2ebcd6c-0
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Which team?

7f401d20-7d0b-49f3-aee2-ce52ce746e96-0
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Which team was that, Amanda?

679d921e-7904-4e0d-b00a-95cd8bf39ed7-0
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Well, it depends how you look at it,
because if you look at which team had the

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winner on it, then it's Team Amanda.

717c9100-9757-4b59-949d-bc6c60a56b9b-0
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I don't think that's how it works.

3e56972b-6b70-4cce-b018-333571aed7c6-0
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I think.

001c777e-0580-47e0-98a4-7a1fd8ee6e25-0
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Well, you did ask me, which was a dumb.

03c3b869-66d3-4b50-8597-b931f0f97c1d-0
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That was a bad move on my part.

b2e62a50-4f10-4f7b-afaa-92f88d0a6913-0
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No, Mariana's chosen correctly and wisely,
and she's chosen Team Ed,

b2e62a50-4f10-4f7b-afaa-92f88d0a6913-1
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the winning team.

002c4781-2832-4ded-a893-6383fbad06fa-0
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All right, well,
what were your prompts this round?

6374122c-c1c3-428d-8217-2338c7b4f8cc-0
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And Team Ed prompts were the word quick,
the action of planting something,

6374122c-c1c3-428d-8217-2338c7b4f8cc-1
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and the kicker of having a character who
is a flawed protagonist.

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So let's read the story, shall we?

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All right, let's show.

f74be2fb-d389-4571-b89a-0949bc8a8ccd-0
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And the story is called All in God's Plan
by Marianna Saran.

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You're not my mum.

4c58d1b2-b055-4b1d-b549-b9749e2dbb2e-0
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There it is,
the 4 words I never wanted to hear,

4c58d1b2-b055-4b1d-b549-b9749e2dbb2e-1
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the phrase that's been gnawing at me
steadily for the past 14 years.

2e7d6909-ce95-4cd2-b509-532498040e30-0
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I continue planting my rose.

3a6f73b4-d880-4fed-b129-880be0fecc01-0
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A thorn nixed me, drawing blood.

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It's an omen.

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I look up, smiling.

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She's expressionless, stone cold.

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I've never seen my bubbly,
quick witted sweetheart this way.

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Lucille, don't be ridiculous.

ada666fa-cbe4-4ab3-b791-a80c357ef80f-0
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Of course I am.

f0bbac53-044f-4460-bf2a-0289a12a8da7-0
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I dust my hands of earthy remnants and
stand to meet her gaze.

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Reaching deep into her pocket,
Lucille retrieves a crumpled piece of

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paper, her eyes boring into me.

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I admire their green hue,
her beautiful long Auburn hair and

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flecked nose,
none of which she's inherited from me.

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I note her usual rosy lips are grey.

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Unravelling the sheet,
wrinkled letters spread to spell missing.

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It winds me.

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The photo of two year old Lucille sits
puckered on the page next to a computer

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generated expectation of her appearance.

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It's accuracy is annoying.

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I've loved this little puppet since first
wrapping my arms around her on that

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overcast day in June.

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It was down South, Not a parent insight,
this helpless tiny tot,

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abandoned in the middle of the road,
riding her tricycle.

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No helmet,
no protection from the world's atrocities.

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Fate had it that I came along.

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It was all in God's plan.

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I opened my mouth to protest.

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Lucille interjects before I can draw
breath.

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Don't even think about lying.

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I've already called the police.

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I grab her hand, yanking her in,
thrashing like an animal that's been

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given a hit.

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She evades capture.

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Baby, where's this coming from?

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My voice,
a gentle whisper from the girls at school.

28736c25-ad72-4917-8e6f-1743133fb9fc-0
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Mum, wait, can I even call you that?

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Well, that's right,
you're not my ******* mum, are you?

9d10ef0a-177a-4ecd-9043-a3c97ffa8592-0
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Language, young lady,
don't you ******* tell me what to do.

70dd68f9-13c3-4594-b03b-477cebef24d8-0
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Lucille's tone offends me.

d9a362cd-4a29-4b03-b44a-a81a242d59f9-0
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The girl facing me is suddenly
unrecognisable.

dc1f386b-1b4f-41e1-a4c5-ffd9346dbe3a-0
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I guess blood really is thicker than
water.

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Ungrateful little ****.

08926e85-79bd-4ff9-9897-e87f524c884b-0
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14 years of unconditionally loving this
kid means nothing to her.

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Where's my real mum?

e1b5bf55-ad74-4809-9b7f-a9e9a27ba089-0
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The venom strikes quick and deep.

5427c6e0-5d7e-4f21-967a-4f5aae90a4b4-0
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Your real mum.

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I'm your real mum.

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The girls at school, they saw this online.

10555f97-0609-46ee-afd6-b39b5d8e4d66-0
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She waved the evidence, slicing my face.

84a93225-3b05-46f3-b49d-7b33c92dfaa7-0
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When I rescued Lucille,
the web wasn't for children.

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Now anyone can access the entangled lies,
forever swirling in the cloud.

11bcda72-6d08-486b-abcc-8a3e78eefa86-0
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I thought moving Interstate would leave
the loose ends across the border.

94e828cd-2c10-4f51-adca-b80abd9d5239-0
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I was wrong.

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Honey, I hate you.

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Tears spill.

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I saved you.

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Your mother didn't care about you.

e4ce325b-33c7-4838-a7c7-d0d9c33f33a4-0
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She didn't deserve you.

3473c6c6-23a7-4150-abb0-44201b267bba-0
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Lucille takes a loose brick from the
pavement and hurls it at my head.

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Dancing lights pull into our driveway.

82bd5f42-96aa-45d9-837d-e9355c727c52-0
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Please understand.

865c39d1-4075-4cf2-bdce-8f2b646754c9-0
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I I love you.

0b7bca4a-b4af-498a-99eb-9143943c091b-0
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You'll always be my daughter.

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Lucille's eyes swell.

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Thank God she knows I love her.

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I'll never think of you again.

c5a7d01b-a703-4d66-aa2f-f65b06efcbaa-0
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The words fire like an assault rifle,
leaving wounds beyond repair.

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Two officers approach, cuffing me.

7c2eb3a3-7b30-4ef5-acd0-a3ecc9d4b212-0
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Casey Allenby,
you're under arrest for the abduction of

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Sally Montgomery.

ce0bbae3-ed68-4d22-916d-6fb08f2ac6b4-0
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Thank you for your story, Marianna.

c61d88c2-7d6f-4e66-9080-c59f38b3d66d-0
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And Marianna has left us a voicemail,
which we'll play now.

2181134c-a3e7-4342-b397-628e5795ea67-0
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Hello, My name's Mariana Sarin,
and I'm the author of All in God's Plan.

005c937f-6f0d-4560-a7af-920b02232dec-0
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The inspiration for this story has been
drawn upon a lifetime as a journalist,

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where good people do bad things,
and sometimes they convince themselves

005c937f-6f0d-4560-a7af-920b02232dec-2
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that those bad things are not so bad.

3139634d-7b8e-44d4-a70a-0d46de61e977-0
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I also hope that there was a twist in my
story in that people assumed Lucille had

3139634d-7b8e-44d4-a70a-0d46de61e977-1
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perhaps been a adopted, but at the end,
obviously, we find out that she was,

3139634d-7b8e-44d4-a70a-0d46de61e977-2
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in fact, abducted.

35ff5fd6-6b5e-4aeb-88cc-083a85051600-0
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So thank you, Marianna,
for your story and for your message.

b4d5a300-033a-4a60-b01e-6403ff3928ca-0
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I think we should just get straight into
it.

bf5c2ab3-3e48-4d8c-b34d-566d863f8eb5-0
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Yeah, for sure.

0d380810-401c-4190-90a2-3625c7208d71-0
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And we will start with the title,
which is all in God's plan.

886bb639-2e9a-4c25-a390-28213f18a6b4-0
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And that is a phrase that appears kind of
around the middle of the story and maybe

886bb639-2e9a-4c25-a390-28213f18a6b4-1
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hints potentially at the frame of mind
perhaps of our protagonists here are very

886bb639-2e9a-4c25-a390-28213f18a6b4-2
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flawed protagonists.

057041e6-c19a-465b-b127-47ed680460a5-0
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And there's a title.

4e603ec2-d2ff-49b8-ba47-03a95ac0b1af-0
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I think it's fine.

c9dd4b7d-80a0-4e39-97d6-7533affcc4c6-0
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I think it works, it does the job.

a71d6c17-fecf-47f1-aa52-65fd7cab26ee-0
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I don't think religion is a major theme
necessarily in the story.

f95466b0-840f-4491-b74b-aa9a4c009572-0
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And so I wouldn't,
I would say that it didn't recall the

f95466b0-840f-4491-b74b-aa9a4c009572-1
00:08:07.160 --> 00:08:10.120
story for me and it didn't like echo that
central theme.

91463201-bc38-4ac7-ac77-e7e5e3b69d69-0
00:08:10.600 --> 00:08:12.040
But as a title, it's fine.

05fc1468-08ad-44eb-a9fd-431ccb81d25e-0
00:08:12.280 --> 00:08:12.600
Yeah.

ed0b26f3-bf76-4fb1-97e4-f474a7eb8ce5-0
00:08:12.600 --> 00:08:17.066
And you know, you say this at other times,
like using that kind of cliche phrase

ed0b26f3-bf76-4fb1-97e4-f474a7eb8ce5-1
00:08:17.066 --> 00:08:20.320
doesn't necessarily feel special or
unique with the story.

3f56088a-8074-4344-a1fe-8dc806beae02-0
00:08:20.320 --> 00:08:23.160
So it does pay to think that through a
little bit.

54414473-8f20-498e-96a3-b2fcf5052074-0
00:08:23.240 --> 00:08:25.840
But yeah, you know,
it's not a problematic title.

8cff365c-607d-4d59-982a-5567fe37ef00-0
00:08:25.840 --> 00:08:28.880
It's just one where maybe there's an
opportunity to to elevate.

277ab064-b362-4f90-84cb-067628e5d43f-0
00:08:29.240 --> 00:08:34.450
I guess in this case the cliche phrase of
all in God's plan is presented ironically,

277ab064-b362-4f90-84cb-067628e5d43f-1
00:08:34.450 --> 00:08:38.987
like the fact that it is perhaps a
righteous phrase that is used in a way

277ab064-b362-4f90-84cb-067628e5d43f-2
00:08:38.987 --> 00:08:40.520
that is not so righteous.

ded1724a-f7cf-4613-9a7e-3fbc04178130-0
00:08:41.280 --> 00:08:42.480
I suggest it often is.

ded2ce76-3e64-4625-b843-49afb93553a4-0
00:08:42.480 --> 00:08:45.720
But anyway,
it's a conversation for another time.

8eecca65-c243-41ad-8e9a-f36214efc015-0
00:08:46.240 --> 00:08:48.688
OK,
let's get into the story and the opening

8eecca65-c243-41ad-8e9a-f36214efc015-1
00:08:48.688 --> 00:08:48.960
line.

b6669e69-e6fb-42c7-9d4d-a0427b735544-0
00:08:49.040 --> 00:08:50.240
You're not my mum.

eaeb86f1-a9ef-45a9-aeae-d96ab98f8026-0
00:08:50.720 --> 00:08:55.465
And Marianna, in your message,
you indicated starting off with maybe

eaeb86f1-a9ef-45a9-aeae-d96ab98f8026-1
00:08:55.465 --> 00:08:58.560
some assumptions of adoption coming
through.

905ad7b2-eab7-44c8-a702-918f82aa343e-0
00:08:58.720 --> 00:09:01.005
And actually,
the first time I read this story,

905ad7b2-eab7-44c8-a702-918f82aa343e-1
00:09:01.005 --> 00:09:03.720
my first assumption was it was like a
stepmom situation.

bb1eca81-b9e1-41d9-867d-c9fe2f89cb4a-0
00:09:03.720 --> 00:09:04.520
Yeah, because me too.

7e6069ba-9d14-49d2-8926-1b4b9f1f8899-0
00:09:04.720 --> 00:09:06.920
A common way you would hear that,
or maybe not.

a8f7e850-ec53-486f-8042-aa1c5b282b52-0
00:09:06.920 --> 00:09:09.760
You're not my mum,
but you're not my real mum kind of thing.

b61cfbdc-00f1-470e-b65a-6823b92b8514-0
00:09:09.840 --> 00:09:12.597
And yeah,
that would be a common experience for

b61cfbdc-00f1-470e-b65a-6823b92b8514-1
00:09:12.597 --> 00:09:16.733
step parents to have a child sort of act
out at that age and say, well,

b61cfbdc-00f1-470e-b65a-6823b92b8514-2
00:09:16.733 --> 00:09:18.400
you can't tell me what to do.

5b778421-cd17-4988-8139-2deffe3e6f77-0
00:09:18.480 --> 00:09:18.800
Yeah.

815c7527-5a3f-40ec-bf75-8243b7bb174d-0
00:09:19.000 --> 00:09:23.058
And more acting out of this kind of of
teen rebellion rather than what we come

815c7527-5a3f-40ec-bf75-8243b7bb174d-1
00:09:23.058 --> 00:09:24.240
to learn in this story.

dc369512-933f-4efe-9d42-9866fd57c3be-0
00:09:24.560 --> 00:09:27.308
So, you know,
Mariana mentioned that in her message,

dc369512-933f-4efe-9d42-9866fd57c3be-1
00:09:27.308 --> 00:09:30.160
and I feel like she successfully
delivered that twist.

667965fd-6993-41dd-b59e-9812f8c01110-0
00:09:30.240 --> 00:09:31.360
Yeah, which is good.

a4ac07cf-b62d-4c2a-9ab9-ce35a3329b85-0
00:09:31.360 --> 00:09:33.917
You know,
we often say it's hard to pull off A

a4ac07cf-b62d-4c2a-9ab9-ce35a3329b85-1
00:09:33.917 --> 00:09:36.040
twist in a 500 word story, and she did.

77e6d5dd-d378-4d73-bd02-3efae575fbb5-0
00:09:36.040 --> 00:09:37.280
So that's a big tick there.

48b3a434-26d3-45b8-92ef-e0e42626d19c-0
00:09:38.080 --> 00:09:40.600
And maybe talking high level as we go
through.

5876d7ff-addd-44da-8e20-ccf24c1b11a8-0
00:09:40.840 --> 00:09:42.680
I think this is a well constructed story.

ab05cf03-f3f3-4744-8ec6-24b82588c14e-0
00:09:42.840 --> 00:09:46.986
We start off with a interjection into a
very calm moment,

ab05cf03-f3f3-4744-8ec6-24b82588c14e-1
00:09:46.986 --> 00:09:52.134
which is our protagonist just planting
flowers in the garden and slowly

ab05cf03-f3f3-4744-8ec6-24b82588c14e-2
00:09:52.134 --> 00:09:56.352
escalating and adding more detail and
adding more urgency,

ab05cf03-f3f3-4744-8ec6-24b82588c14e-3
00:09:56.352 --> 00:10:02.000
I guess right up until the end where
she's carted away in handcuffs basically.

db63ed75-6d48-43ce-bb98-345cbf3219b9-0
00:10:02.240 --> 00:10:05.013
So I think just as a high level comment,
generally,

db63ed75-6d48-43ce-bb98-345cbf3219b9-1
00:10:05.013 --> 00:10:07.200
I think that's that's handled quite well.

20c3dbe3-a3f0-46a9-ae1f-781c5c4bb425-0
00:10:07.200 --> 00:10:09.440
We do get that story progression.

2b011c15-fc6d-4360-bfe7-03bdbb628cfe-0
00:10:09.440 --> 00:10:11.904
We have a beginning,
we move into our middle,

2b011c15-fc6d-4360-bfe7-03bdbb628cfe-1
00:10:11.904 --> 00:10:14.261
we have an ending,
and it's not a vignette,

2b011c15-fc6d-4360-bfe7-03bdbb628cfe-2
00:10:14.261 --> 00:10:15.440
it's a complete story.

010bf5d1-ff18-40e5-a0f4-1925bd9a6c93-0
00:10:15.920 --> 00:10:16.360
That's true.

b8f89bfd-836f-42be-9654-aced6eecf1fe-0
00:10:16.360 --> 00:10:18.853
I mean,
we do spend a fair bit of time inside

b8f89bfd-836f-42be-9654-aced6eecf1fe-1
00:10:18.853 --> 00:10:22.920
this characters head, which I said this,
I believe in our longest episode.

6177d316-52a5-4b56-a049-8c155eadfb05-0
00:10:22.920 --> 00:10:25.736
I do actually think it's quite
appropriate to spend some time in the

6177d316-52a5-4b56-a049-8c155eadfb05-1
00:10:25.736 --> 00:10:26.920
head of a flawed protagonist.

a302b12a-b9aa-4ba5-8ee0-5c00467c079a-0
00:10:26.920 --> 00:10:31.814
I do think you need to see their thought
process to really appreciate what they're

a302b12a-b9aa-4ba5-8ee0-5c00467c079a-1
00:10:31.814 --> 00:10:32.640
doing and why.

99bfa459-6574-48fa-bd2e-dc69f2b6a9cf-0
00:10:32.640 --> 00:10:36.520
And I did feel in this case that I
understood the protagonist.

a97d14fa-617e-436b-955c-7a47d5290171-0
00:10:36.520 --> 00:10:41.239
I wouldn't go so far as to say, you know,
I resonated with her or could appreciate

a97d14fa-617e-436b-955c-7a47d5290171-1
00:10:41.239 --> 00:10:42.320
what she was doing.

79d4b395-2eef-4b24-87ad-e5640b9c469e-0
00:10:42.360 --> 00:10:43.960
I mean, who would want to steal a child?

51107cb2-b63b-4e00-8f7b-0226e333ea14-0
00:10:46.480 --> 00:10:51.318
That's a really interesting question to
ask at this time in 2026 with certain

51107cb2-b63b-4e00-8f7b-0226e333ea14-1
00:10:51.318 --> 00:10:53.800
files flying here, there and everywhere.

f05be6ea-8d62-4421-b061-9447efa1130c-0
00:10:53.800 --> 00:10:56.160
I suggest there are a few people who
would like to steal a child.

55aad462-bbab-4673-a80d-3623369382c4-0
00:10:56.640 --> 00:11:01.720
But anyway, all that aside,
I did feel like it made sense to me.

96a4b5a4-1582-4025-aed1-6b4d1f73341b-0
00:11:01.720 --> 00:11:05.531
You know, I could follow her thinking,
even though obviously it's deeply flawed

96a4b5a4-1582-4025-aed1-6b4d1f73341b-1
00:11:05.531 --> 00:11:05.960
thinking.

6f97fcc0-765e-46a5-8e89-26f60c293e54-0
00:11:06.160 --> 00:11:10.426
And I think that was a real strong suit
here because I think that's crucial,

6f97fcc0-765e-46a5-8e89-26f60c293e54-1
00:11:10.426 --> 00:11:12.920
you know,
and also good use of first person,

6f97fcc0-765e-46a5-8e89-26f60c293e54-2
00:11:12.920 --> 00:11:17.076
because one of the things that works here
is the contrast between the main

6f97fcc0-765e-46a5-8e89-26f60c293e54-3
00:11:17.076 --> 00:11:21.342
character who's expressing her own
thoughts in the first person never really

6f97fcc0-765e-46a5-8e89-26f60c293e54-4
00:11:21.342 --> 00:11:25.000
gives up the idea that she's acting
righteously and for the good.

ffefb4c8-e7da-4500-8231-f654def9f72f-0
00:11:25.000 --> 00:11:29.181
And what we see are details that seep in
that prove that that's actually not the

ffefb4c8-e7da-4500-8231-f654def9f72f-1
00:11:29.181 --> 00:11:29.440
case.

6a425c2a-700d-4b3b-8424-281b19f63b2d-0
00:11:29.680 --> 00:11:34.552
I think another thing that Mariana is
doing well here is giving us the thoughts,

6a425c2a-700d-4b3b-8424-281b19f63b2d-1
00:11:34.552 --> 00:11:37.680
but then having the character say
different things.

03c634ae-4f3f-47ef-8da8-0d5e57e894f7-0
00:11:37.680 --> 00:11:41.000
And I think that can be really satisfying
as a reading experience as well.

977e4f5c-f2ce-44ee-8357-2c3b9e13e335-0
00:11:41.000 --> 00:11:41.240
Yeah.

f6df5f34-dff3-49c2-8f47-1d80fa44a1ed-0
00:11:41.240 --> 00:11:43.120
Having the thoughts conflict with the
action.

eb232073-3d78-4fa8-8cc2-e78f2303552b-0
00:11:43.120 --> 00:11:43.600
Yeah, you've got.

251979f4-1338-4e5d-b310-63e616ff953e-0
00:11:43.920 --> 00:11:44.120
Yeah.

c7008f92-a9e0-44fb-85f1-03d0d05a3a44-0
00:11:44.120 --> 00:11:46.280
So there's conflict already inherent in
that.

18734c47-6fad-4676-a5b9-77d196f496bf-0
00:11:46.280 --> 00:11:49.051
And then from there,
there's conflict interpersonally between

18734c47-6fad-4676-a5b9-77d196f496bf-1
00:11:49.051 --> 00:11:50.080
the characters as well.

81c45f78-e210-4950-aeac-0204744e844c-0
00:11:50.200 --> 00:11:50.480
Yeah.

121c1779-61eb-47ce-af53-879e7bfe5bd8-0
00:11:50.800 --> 00:11:55.160
I guess if I could offer a criticism on
that, that is what you're here for.

17bb6d37-081a-4b6d-8da9-4ecfbe3e8dae-0
00:11:55.160 --> 00:11:55.840
So go on.

efdefe8f-6ac2-4635-a12a-884aeccefed0-0
00:11:56.040 --> 00:11:56.440
Thank you.

fb9a1449-5f2d-45c7-8538-c2ee05860727-0
00:11:56.640 --> 00:11:57.720
Thank you for your permission.

365e754d-c8f4-490b-ad54-9f6809d8301d-0
00:11:58.040 --> 00:11:59.320
Permission to criticise.

068a5ad2-4e70-40dd-a83c-2f0e999a57c3-0
00:11:59.880 --> 00:12:03.306
Granted,
although there is that conflict inherent

068a5ad2-4e70-40dd-a83c-2f0e999a57c3-1
00:12:03.306 --> 00:12:06.801
in the scene,
we don't really get much in terms of

068a5ad2-4e70-40dd-a83c-2f0e999a57c3-2
00:12:06.801 --> 00:12:08.720
agency from our protagonist.

d87a0cae-d362-475c-a87c-24908c5bc7dc-0
00:12:09.080 --> 00:12:13.301
Our protagonist the whole time is working
in the garden and maintaining her

d87a0cae-d362-475c-a87c-24908c5bc7dc-1
00:12:13.301 --> 00:12:17.855
innocence up until she gets carted away,
and there isn't really much that she has

d87a0cae-d362-475c-a87c-24908c5bc7dc-2
00:12:17.855 --> 00:12:18.800
any control over.

cec9ce6f-d5cf-457a-9b44-d3f5ea10d709-0
00:12:18.840 --> 00:12:23.124
I guess she's trying to change opinions
or she's trying to, like,

cec9ce6f-d5cf-457a-9b44-d3f5ea10d709-1
00:12:23.124 --> 00:12:26.890
state her opinion,
but what unfolds is really without her

cec9ce6f-d5cf-457a-9b44-d3f5ea10d709-2
00:12:26.890 --> 00:12:27.280
input.

3fc98b91-6aa9-43a6-927f-adcf130bd473-0
00:12:27.440 --> 00:12:30.440
She could be saying anything in that
situation and nothing would really change.

42fad9b8-a2ba-40c6-9fa3-37197a0ee7d6-0
00:12:30.440 --> 00:12:32.280
Yeah,
she's kind of almost just sort of like,

42fad9b8-a2ba-40c6-9fa3-37197a0ee7d6-1
00:12:32.280 --> 00:12:33.360
forget about it, it's fine.

fc7d4d0c-7dea-43c3-bd00-6080a2fe0d52-0
00:12:33.960 --> 00:12:37.068
And, you know,
the daughter is escalating there or the

fc7d4d0c-7dea-43c3-bd00-6080a2fe0d52-1
00:12:37.068 --> 00:12:40.459
not daughter is escalating,
but the main character is quite

fc7d4d0c-7dea-43c3-bd00-6080a2fe0d52-2
00:12:40.459 --> 00:12:42.720
emotionally static throughout the story.

e2f14a4e-05b9-4fee-9160-7302517cba8a-0
00:12:42.720 --> 00:12:45.400
We don't really get that stress coming
through.

4e361ad2-3b47-4e63-a4d5-4b25471035e2-0
00:12:45.400 --> 00:12:47.925
We, I mean,
not to be unfair because she does start

4e361ad2-3b47-4e63-a4d5-4b25471035e2-1
00:12:47.925 --> 00:12:51.811
to get, she starts swearing and, you know,
sort of thinking a little bit darker

4e361ad2-3b47-4e63-a4d5-4b25471035e2-2
00:12:51.811 --> 00:12:54.240
thoughts like ungrateful little **** and
whatnot.

b519b7f0-7a84-49c2-9e98-8ec8874b1c5b-0
00:12:54.520 --> 00:12:56.760
But the implications here are huge.

fb29908b-6abf-432a-9569-857a5ee715b5-0
00:12:56.800 --> 00:13:01.800
And I'm not sure that her reaction maybe
fits the stakes here.

d7ce752d-43b8-47a3-adf9-31fa88534d70-0
00:13:02.120 --> 00:13:04.623
And, you know,
she may not be fully be aware of the

d7ce752d-43b8-47a3-adf9-31fa88534d70-1
00:13:04.623 --> 00:13:04.960
stakes.

ec109842-0724-4fd9-8430-8e970f5b2006-0
00:13:04.960 --> 00:13:07.440
She's clearly not operating from a place
of logic.

96db7a4e-41f4-438c-8149-528a6e6013fb-0
00:13:07.760 --> 00:13:10.240
So it's safe to say she might not fully
understand what's going on.

5ba82621-f24a-464f-b5e0-4d3a1260cf09-0
00:13:10.240 --> 00:13:13.143
However,
the one thing that you're for 14 years

5ba82621-f24a-464f-b5e0-4d3a1260cf09-1
00:13:13.143 --> 00:13:17.680
you've been trying to avoid coming to the
surface has come to the surface.

8576bd01-ed8c-43e2-9848-65d753f6663f-0
00:13:17.680 --> 00:13:20.480
And you're kind of like, no, no, no,
that's that's not true.

48abea98-c4a3-4417-a693-61bd62d823e0-0
00:13:20.640 --> 00:13:24.396
You're, you're my daughter and, you know,
just kind of arguing instead of melting

48abea98-c4a3-4417-a693-61bd62d823e0-1
00:13:24.396 --> 00:13:26.320
down, which you imagine might be the case.

c088b2aa-063d-4adc-80ac-73bfb677f729-0
00:13:26.400 --> 00:13:26.800
Yeah.

d6353192-d7d9-442c-9f21-9630a30165cd-0
00:13:26.800 --> 00:13:31.935
And she might be forced to confront those
lies and this cognitive dissonance that's

d6353192-d7d9-442c-9f21-9630a30165cd-1
00:13:31.935 --> 00:13:34.320
been in her head for the last 14 years.

5a05593a-0d86-4c16-9b9f-779b1ea0dc08-0
00:13:34.600 --> 00:13:36.600
And how does she unravel in that moment?

82ddc856-2bde-4eda-9fef-03ec1b981141-0
00:13:36.600 --> 00:13:37.600
And what is she doing?

65f18b47-68dd-48a2-9df0-5f7e4f4520db-0
00:13:37.600 --> 00:13:40.422
Because she's trying to speak,
but the daughter interjects and she tries

65f18b47-68dd-48a2-9df0-5f7e4f4520db-1
00:13:40.422 --> 00:13:42.240
to say something,
but the daughter interrupts.

018c24b2-4831-4128-86f9-5168a5e64e34-0
00:13:42.320 --> 00:13:44.320
And I think, what's she doing?

fcf8eb1a-19c3-4245-96ee-9fafa93f95f4-0
00:13:44.320 --> 00:13:45.640
Like, how is she panicking?

6dc79517-3a37-4771-b58b-10bea74df478-0
00:13:45.640 --> 00:13:48.800
What is she just still calmly planning
her rose?

9a4d88db-c730-4d32-8913-4c669d967426-0
00:13:48.840 --> 00:13:52.109
We do have this moment where she grabs
her daughter's hand and tries to yank her

9a4d88db-c730-4d32-8913-4c669d967426-1
00:13:52.109 --> 00:13:53.240
and the daughter pulls away.

a14f949e-8347-4ebd-9233-6fff80cd78aa-0
00:13:53.520 --> 00:13:54.320
But I don't know, I did.

3542aa44-a257-4e93-b697-3487423c067c-0
00:13:54.400 --> 00:13:58.480
I guess I wasn't feeling that sense of
urgency that maybe should have been there.

2be69a24-84ec-4bb7-bbe2-db0da22997b1-0
00:13:58.520 --> 00:14:03.140
But what does come through is what
Marianna mentioned in her message is that

2be69a24-84ec-4bb7-bbe2-db0da22997b1-1
00:14:03.140 --> 00:14:08.060
people in this situation, her experience,
and this is based on some level of real

2be69a24-84ec-4bb7-bbe2-db0da22997b1-2
00:14:08.060 --> 00:14:11.540
life experience,
is that people who do wrong things often

2be69a24-84ec-4bb7-bbe2-db0da22997b1-3
00:14:11.540 --> 00:14:14.000
don't see themselves as being bad people.

0f670df7-f3a2-44b3-b4d7-4b7b62f773d9-0
00:14:14.000 --> 00:14:19.848
They they see their actions as morally
justifiable and good in various ways

0f670df7-f3a2-44b3-b4d7-4b7b62f773d9-1
00:14:19.848 --> 00:14:21.080
ordained by God.

523f5dae-564d-42d6-87a8-87187c40c7cb-0
00:14:21.160 --> 00:14:21.560
Yeah.

ee7cc5f5-2b79-467b-a39e-3f7522dfc82e-0
00:14:21.920 --> 00:14:24.560
And look,
another thing I want to point to was the

ee7cc5f5-2b79-467b-a39e-3f7522dfc82e-1
00:14:24.560 --> 00:14:28.236
daughter in this relationship,
who I think is an interesting character

ee7cc5f5-2b79-467b-a39e-3f7522dfc82e-2
00:14:28.236 --> 00:14:32.378
and I feel could have been developed a
little bit more because we don't get her

ee7cc5f5-2b79-467b-a39e-3f7522dfc82e-3
00:14:32.378 --> 00:14:33.000
perspective.

50b61fc5-9984-4f0f-bb87-3c3f66ac543d-0
00:14:33.000 --> 00:14:36.996
But we see that she's been shown this
image and it looks annoyingly like

50b61fc5-9984-4f0f-bb87-3c3f66ac543d-1
00:14:36.996 --> 00:14:39.569
herself from the main character's
perspective,

50b61fc5-9984-4f0f-bb87-3c3f66ac543d-2
00:14:39.569 --> 00:14:43.840
which has prompted her to realise that
she had been kidnapped many years ago.

edd7448e-29e8-4c2b-9572-a4a3be876b50-0
00:14:44.200 --> 00:14:48.827
But I wonder if her reaction could have
been a bit more nuanced because this is

edd7448e-29e8-4c2b-9572-a4a3be876b50-1
00:14:48.827 --> 00:14:51.720
someone who presumably has known no other
mother.

af9e954c-b6a9-40f9-9996-31f813228b22-0
00:14:51.800 --> 00:14:55.790
And we're in this situation where she's
already phoned the police and she's

af9e954c-b6a9-40f9-9996-31f813228b22-1
00:14:55.790 --> 00:14:59.885
basically waiting for the police to come
on the basis of a computer generated

af9e954c-b6a9-40f9-9996-31f813228b22-2
00:14:59.885 --> 00:15:00.200
image.

dda4d722-f350-49c3-82a6-9b2c2731a329-0
00:15:00.800 --> 00:15:04.549
But I feel like in reality,
if I imagine a person in that position,

dda4d722-f350-49c3-82a6-9b2c2731a329-1
00:15:04.549 --> 00:15:08.960
they may feel deeply conflicted because
they have a they've got some questions.

5dbf252c-8beb-43dc-9e7c-ef304126aaa6-0
00:15:09.120 --> 00:15:11.680
They've got some questions,
like not just answers.

8db344e8-c1fb-4037-bdfd-dc4eebd76571-0
00:15:11.680 --> 00:15:12.040
Yeah.

afcf99b6-9be9-4aaa-bece-40ab32f5a6d9-0
00:15:12.240 --> 00:15:17.577
Her mother in quotes would you would
expect to have been like a loving,

afcf99b6-9be9-4aaa-bece-40ab32f5a6d9-1
00:15:17.577 --> 00:15:23.063
caring mother that had raised her,
who she would feel a strong attachment

afcf99b6-9be9-4aaa-bece-40ab32f5a6d9-2
00:15:23.063 --> 00:15:25.880
for, more so than her unknown parents.

dc17dd70-4f13-4426-b7dd-bc63afa7ec39-0
00:15:25.960 --> 00:15:28.800
And I would expect her to feel quite
conflicted about that.

098f86f6-b927-496a-a566-8e1cd9541de3-0
00:15:28.840 --> 00:15:33.214
And maybe there would be a moment where
she would not phone the police but work

098f86f6-b927-496a-a566-8e1cd9541de3-1
00:15:33.214 --> 00:15:37.480
through that conflict with her mother and
kind of come to these realisations.

ad66d7a0-fe55-4fc1-8ae2-892c0a3b373b-0
00:15:37.680 --> 00:15:39.040
And we don't get that conflict.

1d4c7719-cd1f-4ae7-81c3-057ab3d83a74-0
00:15:39.040 --> 00:15:40.840
We don't get her conflict.

16e8fdf3-3816-4e8f-862a-0d612334df3e-0
00:15:40.920 --> 00:15:43.560
And I think that might be something that
is missing from this story.

9a610cc9-f077-4c2b-ba31-d974b7cce178-0
00:15:43.920 --> 00:15:44.240
Yeah.

39ad320a-eadf-4064-a052-de9348f2bd67-0
00:15:44.240 --> 00:15:46.236
I mean,
we get this sort of back and forth

39ad320a-eadf-4064-a052-de9348f2bd67-1
00:15:46.236 --> 00:15:46.840
between them.

d2a12886-eb67-4133-9b68-baf9ae374667-0
00:15:46.920 --> 00:15:47.240
Yeah.

77c179b2-0a54-46f3-87b4-59d1d56a8299-0
00:15:47.280 --> 00:15:49.803
But yeah,
there's not sort of new information added

77c179b2-0a54-46f3-87b4-59d1d56a8299-1
00:15:49.803 --> 00:15:50.920
in that back and forth.

b9003c34-baf3-4f8b-b426-d8ee50c856db-0
00:15:50.920 --> 00:15:53.120
It's kind of like, you're not my mum.

fbe802c5-6208-487f-84e2-b9e472271de1-0
00:15:53.200 --> 00:15:54.080
Yes, I am.

13c6a438-0ed2-4cad-803e-ab1cfcb4e5c6-0
00:15:54.320 --> 00:15:54.520
Yeah.

b95cc651-e20e-4bd4-b764-020e8f9c3720-0
00:15:54.520 --> 00:15:55.160
No, you're not.

401bf85a-fb5a-43da-acf3-88c8a6e3dbe5-0
00:15:55.320 --> 00:16:00.440
And where's the kind of reveal of the
harsh truth that proves it?

6538cca6-328e-4b3a-aca0-404fd680213d-0
00:16:00.800 --> 00:16:02.760
Like, we've got this picture,
this missing photo.

af414cac-0307-4296-8087-6f72653e72db-0
00:16:03.080 --> 00:16:08.280
Where's the discovery of an old photo of
your own hidden away somewhere?

0026d257-88d7-4df1-8757-016d0548e5a8-0
00:16:08.280 --> 00:16:12.040
Or where's the question over why you
never had a birth certificate?

6f9a6532-cd46-4277-9ef6-c9b7d28f2984-0
00:16:12.040 --> 00:16:14.752
Or, you know,
these things that might be big,

6f9a6532-cd46-4277-9ef6-c9b7d28f2984-1
00:16:14.752 --> 00:16:19.115
big clues of what's really going on,
Maybe more convincing than a missing

6f9a6532-cd46-4277-9ef6-c9b7d28f2984-2
00:16:19.115 --> 00:16:23.360
poster that with a girl on it that just
happens to look a lot like you.

c1b41b26-ceba-46b6-9cb9-20bffa6161c0-0
00:16:23.480 --> 00:16:26.639
There are some other details definitely
that could have been worked in to

c1b41b26-ceba-46b6-9cb9-20bffa6161c0-1
00:16:26.639 --> 00:16:27.280
emphasise that.

03e5995c-5791-4ab6-b2fa-83e2db8af882-0
00:16:27.760 --> 00:16:31.647
But I think what Marianna's done very
well here is kept it to a scene because

03e5995c-5791-4ab6-b2fa-83e2db8af882-1
00:16:31.647 --> 00:16:35.236
when we start talking about all these
other elements and, and you know,

03e5995c-5791-4ab6-b2fa-83e2db8af882-2
00:16:35.236 --> 00:16:38.276
the finding out as opposed to like the
coming to terms with,

03e5995c-5791-4ab6-b2fa-83e2db8af882-3
00:16:38.276 --> 00:16:42.413
we're talking about different scenes and
different settings and it is hard to like

03e5995c-5791-4ab6-b2fa-83e2db8af882-4
00:16:42.413 --> 00:16:43.559
condense all that down.

d23639cc-b7f7-491d-8ea9-95451ab20cb7-0
00:16:43.560 --> 00:16:46.040
So she has done well to fit that all into
a scene.

cc26314f-c84b-41e0-8c04-45b5aec47a46-0
00:16:46.480 --> 00:16:49.187
But yeah, there there is some opportunity,
I think,

cc26314f-c84b-41e0-8c04-45b5aec47a46-1
00:16:49.187 --> 00:16:52.415
to explore the daughter side of things in
a more nuanced way,

cc26314f-c84b-41e0-8c04-45b5aec47a46-2
00:16:52.415 --> 00:16:56.320
or maybe one that adds to the conflict
and adds to the drama of the scene.

9023cd9a-7ad7-48e4-a145-b5bb0b033b82-0
00:16:57.040 --> 00:16:58.880
We're talking about these big themes.

3f6f35d8-af04-4b50-b33c-539fac08d616-0
00:16:58.880 --> 00:17:01.440
And I think that that's how this story is
like.

9578f4e1-9891-4dfb-9f11-9f0d4cb7c203-0
00:17:01.440 --> 00:17:03.320
It presents well as a story.

1bbe56b1-6ded-4831-a486-0baef958eed4-0
00:17:03.600 --> 00:17:06.177
And so it becomes about like the bigger
thoughts,

1bbe56b1-6ded-4831-a486-0baef958eed4-1
00:17:06.177 --> 00:17:09.941
the deeper thoughts about what this story
represents and how it connects

1bbe56b1-6ded-4831-a486-0baef958eed4-2
00:17:09.941 --> 00:17:10.560
emotionally.

7e2faa9a-cb40-45d4-b9b6-47deb38b5545-0
00:17:10.960 --> 00:17:15.314
But, you know, on a practical level,
I did feel that this story needed to be

7e2faa9a-cb40-45d4-b9b6-47deb38b5545-1
00:17:15.314 --> 00:17:17.520
set up a little bit more at the outset.

0bdb55bc-c2cd-4949-9e0b-d161b24f99e6-0
00:17:17.520 --> 00:17:19.520
And maybe that's a little bit of what's
missing.

41b649df-d2d8-460c-9f2c-e0eae5209afb-0
00:17:19.520 --> 00:17:21.200
So we've got you're not my mom.

3473ac83-ae71-4389-8b0e-d7a500868117-0
00:17:21.200 --> 00:17:22.960
There it is the 4 words I never wanted to
hear.

2d969954-eefd-4d75-a67a-c21e03afb2e3-0
00:17:22.960 --> 00:17:28.720
Now I know that it's Mariana's intention
here to set up that twist, right?

8d879217-6b7d-49e8-bb32-c059af1fd7b3-0
00:17:28.720 --> 00:17:32.480
And to have us think it's a step mum or
adopted mum or similar.

811cb765-0cd8-4c5b-8595-8849c19abb5a-0
00:17:32.840 --> 00:17:36.845
And one thing that's a little bit of a
bugbear for me in the opening of a story

811cb765-0cd8-4c5b-8595-8849c19abb5a-1
00:17:36.845 --> 00:17:39.800
is a hanging line of dialogue without
someone to speak it.

4304d268-5c44-43a7-b955-13bd73626410-0
00:17:39.840 --> 00:17:40.640
And so we've got this.

3429826f-432b-4288-b98a-36e95c34440a-0
00:17:40.640 --> 00:17:41.320
You're not my mum.

09ba6f62-1655-4d16-a05e-c9f73c964685-0
00:17:41.320 --> 00:17:42.760
Now that's a dramatic thing to say.

eb64bcf6-e4b1-4fdd-b1bf-802ebfbca6db-0
00:17:43.280 --> 00:17:44.440
We know it's a child.

0a687ca6-5a52-4d11-9672-2f9827256e46-0
00:17:44.720 --> 00:17:46.400
Well, I mean, we assume it's a child,
right?

9bb5060b-6c08-4c55-89c3-6c43cd8f0100-0
00:17:46.400 --> 00:17:49.160
We get that's the immediate image that
comes to mind.

eeb4bf17-4ddb-4c88-bdee-91c4ee89aea7-0
00:17:49.400 --> 00:17:53.956
We don't know it's a 14 year old girl and
we don't know who she's saying it to and

eeb4bf17-4ddb-4c88-bdee-91c4ee89aea7-1
00:17:53.956 --> 00:17:55.000
what their deal is.

07845350-bafc-480f-ad63-3a387837c841-0
00:17:55.000 --> 00:17:58.978
And so we've just got these,
these words spoken in a black void

07845350-bafc-480f-ad63-3a387837c841-1
00:17:58.978 --> 00:17:59.600
basically.

8903ea7d-4750-413b-8bd7-87fc6714d394-0
00:17:59.880 --> 00:18:00.880
And we need more than that.

d4c7a371-eca6-4fa9-9d9f-9b84c141fae5-0
00:18:00.960 --> 00:18:04.524
We,
we do learn fairly soon that the mother

d4c7a371-eca6-4fa9-9d9f-9b84c141fae5-1
00:18:04.524 --> 00:18:07.440
character is trying to plant a rose.

b04c65a9-fef1-4488-91d7-37113557f607-0
00:18:07.440 --> 00:18:12.251
So we get that it's in a garden,
we don't really get any sensory details

b04c65a9-fef1-4488-91d7-37113557f607-1
00:18:12.251 --> 00:18:13.240
of that garden.

5eece80f-a1ea-469e-806b-63ad5e219fbd-0
00:18:13.280 --> 00:18:16.704
We get the, the pricking of the thorn,
but we sort of aren't dropped into a

5eece80f-a1ea-469e-806b-63ad5e219fbd-1
00:18:16.704 --> 00:18:17.560
visual scene there.

692a644d-da83-46bb-9448-d452381c41b9-0
00:18:17.560 --> 00:18:21.151
We're just given there's a rose and look,
that's OK because we're focused on the

692a644d-da83-46bb-9448-d452381c41b9-1
00:18:21.151 --> 00:18:22.880
action that's happening in that garden.

d7053ad2-5020-40af-bb75-87abc186c649-0
00:18:23.120 --> 00:18:26.279
But I suggest, you know,
wouldn't hurt to get just a little bit

d7053ad2-5020-40af-bb75-87abc186c649-1
00:18:26.279 --> 00:18:28.600
more of where we are and what that
represents.

9f537b4f-3862-41bd-8a72-8f8582aaca5d-0
00:18:28.600 --> 00:18:32.387
Because I know that it was intentional to
have this pricking of the thorn and,

9f537b4f-3862-41bd-8a72-8f8582aaca5d-1
00:18:32.387 --> 00:18:35.360
and that sort of stuff and,
and to work with that as a theme.

8364eca3-afa5-4040-8237-58556b46140a-0
00:18:35.600 --> 00:18:38.136
So I think you could expand on that a
little bit,

8364eca3-afa5-4040-8237-58556b46140a-1
00:18:38.136 --> 00:18:42.042
but I guess top line comment just being
we probably needed a little bit more

8364eca3-afa5-4040-8237-58556b46140a-2
00:18:42.042 --> 00:18:46.202
there and perhaps even a little bit more
before the conflict begins because we're

8364eca3-afa5-4040-8237-58556b46140a-3
00:18:46.202 --> 00:18:50.209
dropped right into the middle of it,
meaning we don't really get the beginning

8364eca3-afa5-4040-8237-58556b46140a-4
00:18:50.209 --> 00:18:50.920
of this story.

cb094919-3765-496a-9d65-6ac1b1789894-0
00:18:50.920 --> 00:18:52.880
We've sort of dropped right into the
middle.

e23c5c27-720e-4eef-81e4-d03d2f238cee-0
00:18:53.160 --> 00:18:55.612
And it's great to drop into the middle of
action,

e23c5c27-720e-4eef-81e4-d03d2f238cee-1
00:18:55.612 --> 00:18:58.898
but it's not necessarily great to drop
into the middle of a story,

e23c5c27-720e-4eef-81e4-d03d2f238cee-2
00:18:58.898 --> 00:18:59.880
if that makes sense.

cf0dcbac-2165-442e-a75b-dba2dd913419-0
00:19:00.520 --> 00:19:02.629
Yeah,
like establishing that relationship

cf0dcbac-2165-442e-a75b-dba2dd913419-1
00:19:02.629 --> 00:19:06.244
before it breaks down a little bit,
which is tough because, as you say,

cf0dcbac-2165-442e-a75b-dba2dd913419-2
00:19:06.244 --> 00:19:07.400
we want this one scene.

738208ea-c6de-43b5-b81a-d3ec97104661-0
00:19:07.760 --> 00:19:10.600
Yeah, look,
it is challenging in the constraints here.

2ce8f300-92d9-469d-a67d-c535c03c6616-0
00:19:10.600 --> 00:19:11.680
And that's the thing, I think.

66558c6f-efb3-4014-8b2b-0822f30616b5-0
00:19:11.720 --> 00:19:17.080
I think Marianna's done a great job to
build the story as she has in the scene.

b8b2f523-934d-4eee-a187-eab9f2cbcf26-0
00:19:17.640 --> 00:19:20.165
But yeah,
inevitably there are these elements that

b8b2f523-934d-4eee-a187-eab9f2cbcf26-1
00:19:20.165 --> 00:19:20.760
are missing.

12338dfc-65a0-4218-84f3-a34775bfc3ff-0
00:19:21.040 --> 00:19:23.740
I think the difficulty becomes, you know,
if we talk about beginning,

12338dfc-65a0-4218-84f3-a34775bfc3ff-1
00:19:23.740 --> 00:19:25.360
middle and end and all that sort of stuff.

e7a3c7c8-f846-483b-bc29-44e9722932d2-0
00:19:25.360 --> 00:19:29.242
We have talked about this in a couple of
Daredevils already this round,

e7a3c7c8-f846-483b-bc29-44e9722932d2-1
00:19:29.242 --> 00:19:33.502
but we have a story where there's a back
and forth but there's not a cause and

e7a3c7c8-f846-483b-bc29-44e9722932d2-2
00:19:33.502 --> 00:19:33.880
effect.

12afa2c6-4f21-4c82-ab3a-c81e9da4f79e-0
00:19:34.360 --> 00:19:37.972
The cause has happened already, you know,
she's found and the effect even has

12afa2c6-4f21-4c82-ab3a-c81e9da4f79e-1
00:19:37.972 --> 00:19:38.760
happened already.

fa9312e4-7021-4ae2-a5dd-d35f0eccd34f-0
00:19:39.000 --> 00:19:41.080
Lucille's friends have found this missing
poster.

6c918b80-9b62-4b78-abe5-4c05d24cbbe9-0
00:19:41.680 --> 00:19:42.960
They presented it to her.

9c60e5cc-9b37-46ac-b040-7daf9efb44df-0
00:19:43.320 --> 00:19:47.280
She's felt confident enough in that to
decide this is not her real mother.

19800a81-63e2-4806-8060-33c7dde27c64-0
00:19:47.840 --> 00:19:52.224
We don't get an insight into any of that
action and then it's just a back and

19800a81-63e2-4806-8060-33c7dde27c64-1
00:19:52.224 --> 00:19:54.360
forth of you're not my mum, Yes, I am.

4e5c17c4-d0a7-416d-a457-f1cc4652829f-0
00:19:54.400 --> 00:19:56.040
And and a bit of back story.

6ba3d78b-db85-4c1c-8fd7-cf38507be2d4-0
00:19:56.680 --> 00:20:00.817
Whereas what we probably needed to get
was something happens which causes

6ba3d78b-db85-4c1c-8fd7-cf38507be2d4-1
00:20:00.817 --> 00:20:04.340
something else to happen and that causes
a reaction, you know,

6ba3d78b-db85-4c1c-8fd7-cf38507be2d4-2
00:20:04.340 --> 00:20:07.640
action reaction to build towards the
climax of this story.

a4c8c6f4-6de7-42c8-99a9-0eef440e5c8d-0
00:20:07.920 --> 00:20:11.636
And the climax is that she's arrested,
but even the police have already been

a4c8c6f4-6de7-42c8-99a9-0eef440e5c8d-1
00:20:11.636 --> 00:20:12.360
called as well.

77887ecf-c8bd-4150-bb40-1c1b7f698e23-0
00:20:12.400 --> 00:20:17.160
So there's no catalyst sort of revealed
in this story to bring us to that point.

256836cd-8fa0-40f1-b374-6e36479847e0-0
00:20:17.160 --> 00:20:20.400
It's already happened, basically,
and we're just watching it unfold.

e7d06ce6-29c7-4416-9720-3d791e5321c3-0
00:20:20.880 --> 00:20:25.001
And I think that's a challenge that we've
seen a couple of times in these stories

e7d06ce6-29c7-4416-9720-3d791e5321c3-1
00:20:25.001 --> 00:20:26.760
and something that bears repeating.

a875335e-c3b2-4da6-bb24-e907dc177629-0
00:20:26.920 --> 00:20:29.610
You really need for the story,
for a plot to progress,

a875335e-c3b2-4da6-bb24-e907dc177629-1
00:20:29.610 --> 00:20:32.840
for the action and reaction to really
build towards that climate.

c0b289e7-a43e-402e-b620-3c05d04e8a6a-0
00:20:33.560 --> 00:20:37.891
I guess what we're not calling out,
and as I read through this story is the

c0b289e7-a43e-402e-b620-3c05d04e8a6a-1
00:20:37.891 --> 00:20:41.481
prose, because on a sentence level,
as I'm reading through it,

c0b289e7-a43e-402e-b620-3c05d04e8a6a-2
00:20:41.481 --> 00:20:44.160
I don't really have major concerns about
that.

e81a3bef-96af-482d-b144-ae4291e2db9d-0
00:20:44.280 --> 00:20:47.000
Yeah, no, at a sentence level,
I think it's it's working.

35050ed9-30bf-4221-9ccd-65bb11d39259-0
00:20:47.200 --> 00:20:52.139
I think maybe the challenge for this
story is that what we're presented with

35050ed9-30bf-4221-9ccd-65bb11d39259-1
00:20:52.139 --> 00:20:54.320
here works in itself as a package.

32b9e7db-210a-4839-b21d-3e0636b9c473-0
00:20:54.400 --> 00:20:57.408
But because it's a 500 word piece of
fiction,

32b9e7db-210a-4839-b21d-3e0636b9c473-1
00:20:57.408 --> 00:21:02.444
we haven't been able to connect with the
characters in maybe the way that we

32b9e7db-210a-4839-b21d-3e0636b9c473-2
00:21:02.444 --> 00:21:04.079
needed to for this story.

6cee8f50-37ab-4f7b-b63e-fd6cccc3f871-0
00:21:04.320 --> 00:21:08.740
But we don't get to see any of that 14
years of bonding and relationship

6cee8f50-37ab-4f7b-b63e-fd6cccc3f871-1
00:21:08.740 --> 00:21:13.040
building where you think this person is
your mother, like that's huge.

31e2b6f9-85c2-4ed4-84db-bb50354c3381-0
00:21:13.440 --> 00:21:15.560
So we don't get any insight into that.

a214480b-50fa-468a-8682-ce55315668fe-0
00:21:15.760 --> 00:21:20.680
And then we also don't get the heartbreak
that would go with that, which is huge.

c1a7f4c8-cfba-4b6d-a6b8-505fc54aa8e8-0
00:21:20.680 --> 00:21:22.520
Like, I can't imagine, right.

deef419d-a28e-4dce-8559-bc077199f476-0
00:21:22.520 --> 00:21:25.917
And not just heartbreak of like,
you're not my real mum when I thought you

deef419d-a28e-4dce-8559-bc077199f476-1
00:21:25.917 --> 00:21:26.960
were, but you stole me.

68daf8e8-2b81-416b-aa28-755434d7e309-0
00:21:27.200 --> 00:21:27.920
Holy ****.

fcd94e80-b306-424a-b04a-32b6fe26edbb-0
00:21:27.920 --> 00:21:28.960
What's wrong with you?

862d69c4-0c4a-4030-a114-c1ab342e39b9-0
00:21:28.960 --> 00:21:30.200
And what does this mean?

2ce31ca6-ddbd-422a-803d-afad0c1afaaa-0
00:21:30.200 --> 00:21:31.440
And my whole life's a lie.

2575530b-cd46-4db0-8e99-5a4fe96589ed-0
00:21:31.440 --> 00:21:37.000
Like for a 16 year old to be confronted
with that would be absolutely shattering.

a60ff4c3-cde2-43b1-80df-c9b6951323f7-0
00:21:37.000 --> 00:21:39.840
And I don't really feel like we get that
shattering.

6d06ff75-9364-4d4a-8e0b-5b59533c4065-0
00:21:39.840 --> 00:21:43.238
We get, well, I called the police,
so now you're getting arrested and I'm

6d06ff75-9364-4d4a-8e0b-5b59533c4065-1
00:21:43.238 --> 00:21:44.800
never going to think of you again.

1d6ea33c-275b-4b73-a35c-b4f7f729274b-0
00:21:45.160 --> 00:21:47.588
Like really,
you're not going to think about this

1d6ea33c-275b-4b73-a35c-b4f7f729274b-1
00:21:47.588 --> 00:21:49.920
constantly every day for the rest of your
life.

8801a698-5856-41c7-aad3-687fac05c6b5-0
00:21:49.960 --> 00:21:52.520
Like Oh my God, like real trauma.

87069144-3223-4872-8d58-6cd9472bd2a3-0
00:21:52.520 --> 00:21:57.680
So I feel like maybe that's where we were
lacking the emotional aspect of this.

1c627f32-f832-4d5c-b9c7-cef03b44f186-0
00:21:57.680 --> 00:22:00.520
We've got the drama of it,
and I think that ticks the boxes.

215da6b3-36f1-4c4e-85da-cfbe8f24e955-0
00:22:00.520 --> 00:22:06.653
But we don't have the real human emotion
on both sides that would accompany this

215da6b3-36f1-4c4e-85da-cfbe8f24e955-1
00:22:06.653 --> 00:22:08.320
kind of epic scenario.

f1cb1259-b7cf-4f64-8e60-6e8c5b9278f8-0
00:22:08.600 --> 00:22:09.000
Yeah.

cb50acbe-fc52-459a-8bd9-c6c0167c84cf-0
00:22:09.120 --> 00:22:11.220
Look,
I do like as we move through the story,

cb50acbe-fc52-459a-8bd9-c6c0167c84cf-1
00:22:11.220 --> 00:22:13.640
when I rescued Lucille,
the web wasn't for children.

79f5959c-bc40-49e0-904e-05c350d86f17-0
00:22:13.640 --> 00:22:17.865
Now anyone can access the entangled lies
forever swelling in the cloud, you know,

79f5959c-bc40-49e0-904e-05c350d86f17-1
00:22:17.865 --> 00:22:19.360
again, reinforcing this idea.

1c4858e2-046c-4c6f-ad50-15282be95e32-0
00:22:19.360 --> 00:22:23.030
And this is this is another one I think
we've mentioned on a past episode that

1c4858e2-046c-4c6f-ad50-15282be95e32-1
00:22:23.030 --> 00:22:26.748
the Team Ed stories leaned heavily into
character as opposed to the Team Amanda

1c4858e2-046c-4c6f-ad50-15282be95e32-2
00:22:26.748 --> 00:22:27.120
stories.

8fdd5776-af42-410f-941a-bc9eaaecc1ba-0
00:22:27.440 --> 00:22:31.626
And this one is it is that character
study is that understanding this

8fdd5776-af42-410f-941a-bc9eaaecc1ba-1
00:22:31.626 --> 00:22:33.600
character and what motivates her.

32929227-85c3-40a0-b15e-0ffe6f0173bd-0
00:22:33.760 --> 00:22:38.785
And this is another moment of cognitive
dissonance where the character is calling

32929227-85c3-40a0-b15e-0ffe6f0173bd-1
00:22:38.785 --> 00:22:43.688
things lies that are actually the truth
and giving us a bit of insight into her

32929227-85c3-40a0-b15e-0ffe6f0173bd-2
00:22:43.688 --> 00:22:44.240
thinking.

111b1a82-1916-4eb9-b846-f1e56479cc8a-0
00:22:44.720 --> 00:22:49.969
But as we then go to the ending,
and I think in my notes and also other

111b1a82-1916-4eb9-b846-f1e56479cc8a-1
00:22:49.969 --> 00:22:53.905
judges notes,
here we have the ending that comes very

111b1a82-1916-4eb9-b846-f1e56479cc8a-2
00:22:53.905 --> 00:22:58.280
abruptly of the two officers cuffing her
and arresting her.

05e07d8c-cfd7-47e9-b527-5d6d8c1327b4-0
00:22:58.440 --> 00:23:02.845
And that last line of Casey Allenby,
you're under arrest for the abduction of

05e07d8c-cfd7-47e9-b527-5d6d8c1327b4-1
00:23:02.845 --> 00:23:06.121
Sally Montgomery,
is probably important exposition on one

05e07d8c-cfd7-47e9-b527-5d6d8c1327b4-2
00:23:06.121 --> 00:23:08.493
level,
as in it kind of solidifies what's

05e07d8c-cfd7-47e9-b527-5d6d8c1327b4-3
00:23:08.493 --> 00:23:10.640
happening and calling back that twist.

f93a213c-3869-4cdf-bdf4-4657d13c3c9f-0
00:23:10.640 --> 00:23:12.640
I think by that point in time,
we do get it.

3879b631-4fc0-4878-9fb6-ae85d2b7c022-0
00:23:12.640 --> 00:23:13.600
We do get what's happened.

4a819330-5b5c-4c28-82f3-14157d931741-0
00:23:13.600 --> 00:23:15.800
So it's probably not necessary.

ce0e2909-d2cc-4b67-a5d5-81a41c5159a5-0
00:23:15.800 --> 00:23:19.676
I think what you want to do is focus on
the relationship between the two people

ce0e2909-d2cc-4b67-a5d5-81a41c5159a5-1
00:23:19.676 --> 00:23:23.649
here and the police coming in and taking
her away is not really part of the story

ce0e2909-d2cc-4b67-a5d5-81a41c5159a5-2
00:23:23.649 --> 00:23:25.200
that you're trying to tell here.

08068a53-fa80-44d7-bb4a-8f4035aff9ac-0
00:23:25.560 --> 00:23:29.160
And that gives you a little bit more time
back to then focus in on that

08068a53-fa80-44d7-bb4a-8f4035aff9ac-1
00:23:29.160 --> 00:23:30.360
relationship a bit more.

56dde1dd-fdc4-47f7-afa7-58a50a6090d8-0
00:23:30.480 --> 00:23:30.840
Yeah.

78454d6f-11ff-4f06-ab7e-ce0f4fb3d112-0
00:23:31.000 --> 00:23:35.103
And I think you need to,
I think for this to really feel resonant

78454d6f-11ff-4f06-ab7e-ce0f4fb3d112-1
00:23:35.103 --> 00:23:37.962
as something that's happened, you know,
real,

78454d6f-11ff-4f06-ab7e-ce0f4fb3d112-2
00:23:37.962 --> 00:23:42.811
we do need more of that emotion and that
heartbreak and that absolutely earth

78454d6f-11ff-4f06-ab7e-ce0f4fb3d112-3
00:23:42.811 --> 00:23:45.920
shattering loss of sense of self that
would come.

f99b2abc-f070-4e79-811c-f53e3f3f305c-0
00:23:45.920 --> 00:23:47.320
And that's a big ask.

e29c74ca-33eb-472e-94dc-90553379c08e-0
00:23:47.320 --> 00:23:50.206
Like,
that's a lot to be able to convey such

e29c74ca-33eb-472e-94dc-90553379c08e-1
00:23:50.206 --> 00:23:51.040
huge emotion.

f7acc8d1-ae7c-47ee-a2e9-310fb3622b65-0
00:23:51.200 --> 00:23:53.560
But you know,
I think that's what we work towards.

e1ddd6d5-6fb6-403d-a454-22489eba4259-0
00:23:53.560 --> 00:23:58.172
And I think emotional resonance is always
a strong goal to have because I think

e1ddd6d5-6fb6-403d-a454-22489eba4259-1
00:23:58.172 --> 00:23:59.960
that's how we connect to story.

b76e4a1b-e27c-4f13-87aa-6399bdf59c3a-0
00:23:59.960 --> 00:24:03.739
Like a story can be very clever,
but how we connect is through real human

b76e4a1b-e27c-4f13-87aa-6399bdf59c3a-1
00:24:03.739 --> 00:24:07.467
emotion and resonating with other
people's experience and having empathy

b76e4a1b-e27c-4f13-87aa-6399bdf59c3a-2
00:24:07.467 --> 00:24:09.000
for other people's experience.

fb1261f1-cc69-4ede-b108-6ae62238fbac-0
00:24:09.080 --> 00:24:12.142
And while I do have some empathy for this
flawed protagonist,

fb1261f1-cc69-4ede-b108-6ae62238fbac-1
00:24:12.142 --> 00:24:13.920
it doesn't get over the line for me.

ae2c6530-f567-43d9-a426-44955eab1506-0
00:24:13.920 --> 00:24:18.216
I sort of needed a little bit more
realness for this to come off as a real

ae2c6530-f567-43d9-a426-44955eab1506-1
00:24:18.216 --> 00:24:18.560
story.

2b581463-1133-4126-a941-cd936e64d089-0
00:24:19.080 --> 00:24:21.423
But, you know, it's,
it's a very strong concept,

2b581463-1133-4126-a941-cd936e64d089-1
00:24:21.423 --> 00:24:23.720
very interesting, you know,
and engaging story.

201df244-7de1-4bc2-8859-6c50a406cdbd-0
00:24:23.720 --> 00:24:27.380
So in that regard,
I think it did exactly what it set out to

201df244-7de1-4bc2-8859-6c50a406cdbd-1
00:24:27.380 --> 00:24:27.560
do.

ab51150c-40bb-4a7b-99b1-76adfb926316-0
00:24:28.240 --> 00:24:31.458
I guess what I would have liked to have
seen and what maybe would have landed it

ab51150c-40bb-4a7b-99b1-76adfb926316-1
00:24:31.458 --> 00:24:34.200
on the long list is more attention to
that emotional side of things.

cc5c0614-bd50-4e9d-9ea3-a49ba6dfa8c7-0
00:24:34.600 --> 00:24:35.040
Yeah.

d029c56a-c316-41a6-9703-11f4601a405e-0
00:24:35.160 --> 00:24:35.800
Look, I agree.

7ff55625-00ec-49ac-b8b6-5ce7fe5e6cc3-0
00:24:35.800 --> 00:24:37.840
You've got a very strong premise here.

67bab03a-d712-4af9-b179-ef362c5d152d-0
00:24:37.840 --> 00:24:42.892
Obviously that's a compelling situation
and just to emphasise that you do have

67bab03a-d712-4af9-b179-ef362c5d152d-1
00:24:42.892 --> 00:24:46.922
two characters here,
22 characters that are both quite complex

67bab03a-d712-4af9-b179-ef362c5d152d-2
00:24:46.922 --> 00:24:50.120
and I think 1 character is being focused
on here.

6c11299e-f9c1-4c2b-b10c-1fc43b57e58f-0
00:24:50.120 --> 00:24:55.306
But there's an opportunity to explore 2
characters and also their relationship

6c11299e-f9c1-4c2b-b10c-1fc43b57e58f-1
00:24:55.306 --> 00:24:58.720
and how this event has impacted their
relationship.

25c661e4-63f7-4b1f-8720-f76787b5aba3-0
00:24:59.240 --> 00:25:02.651
When we talk about single effect and
emotional payloads at the end of the

25c661e4-63f7-4b1f-8720-f76787b5aba3-1
00:25:02.651 --> 00:25:04.725
story,
that's really where you want to focus

25c661e4-63f7-4b1f-8720-f76787b5aba3-2
00:25:04.725 --> 00:25:06.799
your effort of,
of how you can enhance that.

2bdc4c12-3ed2-428c-848a-3e1e6ac04d2e-0
00:25:06.840 --> 00:25:09.200
And I think there's definitely a lot,
a lot to explore there.

15a59089-1381-466d-aa4f-4b15ef1db24f-0
00:25:09.200 --> 00:25:12.600
And your strong point in this story there,
there are many.

4107eb68-6c54-47cc-884e-c7f83a7489be-0
00:25:12.680 --> 00:25:15.597
The structure is great,
the prose is great,

4107eb68-6c54-47cc-884e-c7f83a7489be-1
00:25:15.597 --> 00:25:20.770
but from a an emotional perspective,
there's a little bit more to do there to

4107eb68-6c54-47cc-884e-c7f83a7489be-2
00:25:20.770 --> 00:25:22.760
really kind of sell the story.

b10ac43b-c0b8-4333-b77d-1a8d5daed149-0
00:25:23.480 --> 00:25:23.680
Yeah.

5d3f67c5-e4d9-43bf-ba21-40f47117e659-0
00:25:23.680 --> 00:25:24.440
So thank you Marianna.

6f24c23e-2280-4c1d-9974-eac8c43fe022-0
00:25:24.440 --> 00:25:27.760
I hope that has shed a little bit of
light onto our thinking there.

7fdded34-bd13-46f8-b4a7-63d1fe001220-0
00:25:27.760 --> 00:25:33.720
A lot working in your favour and maybe
some points of focus for next time around.

39b45865-39b6-4759-8038-8f0a03431a7a-0
00:25:33.720 --> 00:25:35.720
So we hope you will join us again.

55916012-780e-4eca-8b94-6e2dc889b8a2-0
00:25:35.920 --> 00:25:37.920
I mean, we've jumped around a bit there,
haven't we?

91e692c9-cab2-4c15-b9ca-d6b2113310b8-0
00:25:37.920 --> 00:25:40.280
We've sort of gone here and there and
everywhere with our feedback.

992f55bf-0915-483e-b834-a8b2a56096c4-0
00:25:40.280 --> 00:25:44.482
So hopefully you're able to organise
those thoughts in your own mind and and

992f55bf-0915-483e-b834-a8b2a56096c4-1
00:25:44.482 --> 00:25:47.320
take from them what you will,
what's useful to you.

4cf4995e-e264-4b3c-ac4f-4b60484ef513-0
00:25:47.640 --> 00:25:50.426
But yeah,
thank you so much for jumping into this

4cf4995e-e264-4b3c-ac4f-4b60484ef513-1
00:25:50.426 --> 00:25:51.040
experience.

42a43480-a93d-4671-af1b-3e2057fa9f9c-0
00:25:51.040 --> 00:25:53.440
I hope it was a little bit enjoyable.

732fd392-f35d-4112-98b3-666fc4ae562f-0
00:25:53.440 --> 00:25:54.520
Do you think it ever is?

69bf00f0-2fad-499c-803b-daa0ab5eb0ec-0
00:25:54.520 --> 00:25:55.280
I don't know.

53b5bd34-62bb-4a10-b424-4d63e288e964-0
00:25:55.360 --> 00:25:55.880
Question.

630fd441-533a-483f-97cc-34a2b32cabbb-0
00:25:55.880 --> 00:25:56.200
Question.

354ca93f-467c-4004-b2ed-138e7499734c-0
00:25:56.200 --> 00:25:56.680
I don't know.

420d0973-8aca-46cb-bae9-e36371e5cc5f-0
00:25:56.680 --> 00:25:59.503
I as I've said before,
I'm not sure if it's something that I

420d0973-8aca-46cb-bae9-e36371e5cc5f-1
00:25:59.503 --> 00:25:59.920
could do.

2b43cbc5-1171-44e4-b921-7952158c13aa-0
00:26:00.040 --> 00:26:01.080
Yeah, It's we.

83371784-003b-4ce1-9f8f-9001be5214cb-0
00:26:01.080 --> 00:26:05.370
We always appreciate our daredevils for
going through the pain on everyone's

83371784-003b-4ce1-9f8f-9001be5214cb-1
00:26:05.370 --> 00:26:05.760
behalf.

69285751-49e7-485e-ac67-dc7f70415c36-0
00:26:06.360 --> 00:26:08.720
They're a bit like a sacrificial lamb.

313845c3-d019-4168-b752-64e640650649-0
00:26:08.960 --> 00:26:09.320
Yeah.

692e4724-4d94-4953-ba3e-1679e5af9b73-0
00:26:09.640 --> 00:26:11.080
Like a cautionary tale.

fd1961a5-d3b7-46c0-bdc5-d23d5aad792a-0
00:26:11.120 --> 00:26:11.480
Yeah.

e6301b83-b267-4d97-93b4-9d53471af233-0
00:26:11.480 --> 00:26:11.600
Yeah.

c74fc1d9-1e9d-4f3e-92c6-aad3880cfd9e-0
00:26:12.280 --> 00:26:15.838
Maybe that's the analogy,
and we look forward to reading your next

c74fc1d9-1e9d-4f3e-92c6-aad3880cfd9e-1
00:26:15.838 --> 00:26:18.388
story,
which I will in fact be meeting with you

c74fc1d9-1e9d-4f3e-92c6-aad3880cfd9e-2
00:26:18.388 --> 00:26:22.159
about because you've gone with the
coaching option for the next round.

f093690b-a4e4-489a-a296-5cbe82cd2504-0
00:26:22.160 --> 00:26:25.720
Something a bit more private,
which is probably a smart idea.

d8526631-8e31-45cd-bcc1-eb7100814fb5-0
00:26:25.720 --> 00:26:29.000
Let's be real and lick your wounds.

8fc510bc-bbe0-4eb8-99f5-955f58701eef-0
00:26:29.000 --> 00:26:31.498
But yeah,
I'm really looking forward to that and to

8fc510bc-bbe0-4eb8-99f5-955f58701eef-1
00:26:31.498 --> 00:26:35.390
seeing what you deliver next and how that
compares and whether any of our advice

8fc510bc-bbe0-4eb8-99f5-955f58701eef-2
00:26:35.390 --> 00:26:36.400
was, in fact, useful.

0125d62d-c376-469f-be4b-23d2956601d7-0
00:26:36.760 --> 00:26:40.605
And you can hold Amanda accountable for
all of the **** that she said in this

0125d62d-c376-469f-be4b-23d2956601d7-1
00:26:40.605 --> 00:26:41.000
episode.

58d99a36-59e9-459f-be2d-24614613304a-0
00:26:41.800 --> 00:26:42.480
So there's that.

c840e63f-de0f-4571-9c67-42f536806ea9-0
00:26:42.520 --> 00:26:43.400
Absolutely.

379c784a-8950-4312-8744-198db6647ad9-0
00:26:43.640 --> 00:26:44.320
So thank you.

5c3c859b-0a72-45b9-be84-ba54e893d8b0-0
00:26:44.320 --> 00:26:50.200
And that brings the January round to its
conclusion.

a03b7405-f1cb-4946-b3e5-3dfd90384204-0
00:26:50.320 --> 00:26:50.680
Yeah.

bc346004-2bbb-4445-90b0-7ed3b5d7155f-0
00:26:51.000 --> 00:26:52.920
Our first ever write off our little baby.

c0b1220a-713b-4c11-9f44-85c6d36bc026-0
00:26:53.400 --> 00:26:54.520
What an experience.

310c97c9-c2af-4429-995a-6211cc49550b-0
00:26:54.840 --> 00:26:55.760
That was a lot of fun.

01bb1221-2375-4a73-a248-5e7576272d40-0
00:26:55.880 --> 00:26:57.120
And I'm looking forward to April.

9386bff6-6ab7-4be5-b1cf-15a886e2e6db-0
00:26:57.120 --> 00:26:58.840
Yeah, we've got a fun theme for April.

d345f4f9-a26f-4801-b511-47b4d2a44424-0
00:26:58.840 --> 00:27:00.640
I'm super psyched for that one.

940779db-14aa-4b84-9014-3d65477bd535-0
00:27:00.640 --> 00:27:02.200
Yes, I'm excited too.

01ab1eb0-22ec-4d42-8d0b-10f3dba15bec-0
00:27:02.440 --> 00:27:05.511
I mean,
this January round has been chaos for us

01ab1eb0-22ec-4d42-8d0b-10f3dba15bec-1
00:27:05.511 --> 00:27:06.640
behind the scenes.

70ea5ee9-6acd-415d-9bdf-e3f3cf1d3ea8-0
00:27:06.640 --> 00:27:10.680
Like the actual judging of this comp went
quite smoothly and quite quickly.

f433200b-121f-4d34-ac2e-fccdceb317db-0
00:27:10.960 --> 00:27:13.080
But we've had so much other stuff going
on.

594a311e-411a-429e-956f-d95a2c3a96b8-0
00:27:13.080 --> 00:27:17.669
We've been recording **** we've been
preparing, you know,

594a311e-411a-429e-956f-d95a2c3a96b8-1
00:27:17.669 --> 00:27:20.280
our collection of smutty stories.

15b476a4-0752-4d8e-9809-908e37c6aaac-0
00:27:20.320 --> 00:27:23.800
We've been doing all the regular stuff
that we do for this competition.

12374315-52f4-4309-b0f4-1fe6a5a5709f-0
00:27:23.960 --> 00:27:25.920
Many, many things therein.

23b85412-a0cd-48e2-b122-d67e6e78e9c5-0
00:27:26.480 --> 00:27:28.800
Busy, busy, busy time for us.

9e5e65fd-b5de-428e-92ac-d8a2ed89ae4e-0
00:27:28.800 --> 00:27:31.840
But hopefully we're starting to see the
light at the end of that tunnel.

23806aff-e47e-40ec-95cc-148e0798a425-0
00:27:32.040 --> 00:27:34.280
And we look forward to seeing everyone in
April.

374eb747-09b5-4f9b-a986-dbb1c16daf7e-0
00:27:34.280 --> 00:27:36.360
And if you don't have a ticket,
what's wrong with you?

1a3ef8be-e255-4f62-bf2f-1595c9a49834-0
00:27:36.360 --> 00:27:38.200
Go to the website, sign up.

7be48e0e-217f-4be3-bb32-9c2ead47fbf2-0
00:27:38.480 --> 00:27:38.600
Yeah.

4413ddd9-d96c-442c-8f8d-c06a79359c6f-0
00:27:38.600 --> 00:27:40.280
And we're looking forward to April.

41b8e658-003e-4c25-adb2-0dc69106f8dd-0
00:27:40.280 --> 00:27:41.600
It's gonna be lots of fun.

c29968dc-7ef1-40a3-aa80-6a16029cceb1-0
00:27:41.600 --> 00:27:43.240
Fun theme, fun prompts.

3da0030a-86d6-420f-824f-39f3891a2c97-0
00:27:43.560 --> 00:27:44.560
It's gonna be amazing.

c176265b-f452-4ea0-a4ef-5da40e059de8-0
00:27:44.720 --> 00:27:45.360
Don't miss out.

5c79e9aa-4e33-4983-9228-6dc2ba7e1a45-0
00:27:46.120 --> 00:27:47.360
You're so convincing right now.

d0e5ffcb-90ff-4881-a7fb-32864113950c-0
00:27:47.360 --> 00:27:47.840
I love it.

6c472e5a-79ae-4e07-b751-5f3d5f781366-0
00:27:48.360 --> 00:27:50.040
If for no one else, do for yourself.

781e6f2e-b0f6-44e7-9edc-4626140d8e09-0
00:27:50.640 --> 00:27:53.400
You don't want to do anything you're
gonna regret for the rest of your life.

57d8f87e-42ac-41cd-87e0-7c4b39236e60-0
00:27:53.400 --> 00:27:55.984
And if you miss out on the April Not
Quite Right prize,

57d8f87e-42ac-41cd-87e0-7c4b39236e60-1
00:27:55.984 --> 00:27:58.200
you're going to regret it till the day
you die.

0a6cdd2a-f27b-461c-8250-cfd566f83936-0
00:28:00.840 --> 00:28:02.280
So that was the hard sell for you.

c679945e-5e65-4b59-98e2-4c531055332a-0
00:28:03.640 --> 00:28:06.720
But we'll see you all back very soon for
the April round.

4873867e-9443-41a9-a30c-5bd8eaffb249-0
00:28:07.080 --> 00:28:10.120
But until then, right on, right on.

3759712e-0a6a-4c16-8d33-613a2c3ccc5e-0
00:28:12.600 --> 00:28:15.960
We hope you enjoyed this special
Daredevil episode of Not Quite Right.

f3abb64e-b6bc-4a99-9642-a5ab109f9159-0
00:28:16.360 --> 00:28:20.144
If you have thoughts on this story,
follow us on social media and join the

f3abb64e-b6bc-4a99-9642-a5ab109f9159-1
00:28:20.144 --> 00:28:20.800
conversation.

2a8970bd-b3d2-444e-950c-7d95bb3c817a-0
00:28:21.120 --> 00:28:24.699
And if you'd like to participate in the
next round of the competition,

2a8970bd-b3d2-444e-950c-7d95bb3c817a-1
00:28:24.699 --> 00:28:27.120
head over to our website at notquiteright.
com.

08f92ea7-6667-4688-b7ea-45e685df8685-0
00:28:27.440 --> 00:28:36.680
That's WRITE something doesn't seem quite
right.