WEBVTT

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Not Quite Right features discussions that
are unfiltered and uncensored,

a2ffb8ad-c3ce-4e1b-9bd5-dd558cfa8be3-1
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and may include themes that are
inappropriate for younger listeners. Also,

a2ffb8ad-c3ce-4e1b-9bd5-dd558cfa8be3-2
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I swear a lot something doesn't seem
quite right.

50bb3ed5-c084-4561-87c7-cf80cbc6d857-0
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Welcome to Not Quite Right.
My names Ed and I'm Amanda,

50bb3ed5-c084-4561-87c7-cf80cbc6d857-1
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and it's time for our very first
Daredevil for the April 2026 round of the

50bb3ed5-c084-4561-87c7-cf80cbc6d857-2
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Not Quite Right Prize. I can't wait.
Now Daredevils are people who have signed

50bb3ed5-c084-4561-87c7-cf80cbc6d857-3
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up for the honour and the privilege of
having their story critiqued on air and

50bb3ed5-c084-4561-87c7-cf80cbc6d857-4
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on the podcast.

5ee336a4-be62-4eff-9300-209909cc513f-0
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And today's little victim is Chloe Page,
a familiar name. Yeah,

5ee336a4-be62-4eff-9300-209909cc513f-1
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Chloe's no stranger to the Not quite
right prize.

5ee336a4-be62-4eff-9300-209909cc513f-2
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She has shortlisted twice in recent
history, once for Wanted Dead or Alive,

5ee336a4-be62-4eff-9300-209909cc513f-3
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and more recently for her story,
The Grief.

5ee336a4-be62-4eff-9300-209909cc513f-4
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I think both of those were last year.
And she's long listed several times,

5ee336a4-be62-4eff-9300-209909cc513f-5
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and she actually finds herself in 7th
place as of before this round.

5ee336a4-be62-4eff-9300-209909cc513f-6
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We haven't yet calculated and updated the
leaderboard as at the time of recording,

5ee336a4-be62-4eff-9300-209909cc513f-7
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but 7th place and she'll be getting an
extra point for.

0a1e937c-1e43-405a-92ff-3a9d42a11e75-0
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This long listing and as of the time of
recording,

0a1e937c-1e43-405a-92ff-3a9d42a11e75-1
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we're actually yet to meet Chloe,
but we are about to very soon this

0a1e937c-1e43-405a-92ff-3a9d42a11e75-2
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Thursday at our Flesh Fiction book launch,
which will of course be all done and

0a1e937c-1e43-405a-92ff-3a9d42a11e75-3
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dusted by the time this episode goes to
air.

0a1e937c-1e43-405a-92ff-3a9d42a11e75-4
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But I'm really looking forward to meeting
Chloe.

0a1e937c-1e43-405a-92ff-3a9d42a11e75-5
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It's probably just as well we're
recording this before we meet her so that

0a1e937c-1e43-405a-92ff-3a9d42a11e75-6
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she can't kind of influence us exactly,
and also that she could have some pointed

0a1e937c-1e43-405a-92ff-3a9d42a11e75-7
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things to say to us.

32dc0d25-c431-4984-a6a8-94a8ddc8c5e8-0
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Very good point.
And Chloe's also just let me know that

32dc0d25-c431-4984-a6a8-94a8ddc8c5e8-1
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she's going to be coming along to the
workshop I'm running in Melbourne.

32dc0d25-c431-4984-a6a8-94a8ddc8c5e8-2
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So I'm very,
very excited to be taking my little show

32dc0d25-c431-4984-a6a8-94a8ddc8c5e8-3
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on the road down to Melbourne.
So I'm doing a right winning flash

32dc0d25-c431-4984-a6a8-94a8ddc8c5e8-4
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fiction workshop,
about 1/2 day workshop for Writers

32dc0d25-c431-4984-a6a8-94a8ddc8c5e8-5
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Victoria.
So if you are in Melbourne and would like

32dc0d25-c431-4984-a6a8-94a8ddc8c5e8-6
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to come along,
that's happening on the 20th of June and

32dc0d25-c431-4984-a6a8-94a8ddc8c5e8-7
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actually you're doing the little
workshops all up and down the East Coast

32dc0d25-c431-4984-a6a8-94a8ddc8c5e8-8
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as it were, so.

dcd025ac-0d71-4a06-907e-129686a076e9-0
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Go to notquiteright.
com if you're interested and check out

dcd025ac-0d71-4a06-907e-129686a076e9-1
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where Amanda will be next. Yeah,
it's always a really good time.

dcd025ac-0d71-4a06-907e-129686a076e9-2
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Like if you love flash fiction,
that's all we do.

dcd025ac-0d71-4a06-907e-129686a076e9-3
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We just talk about that for a while and
you don't need to have any particular

dcd025ac-0d71-4a06-907e-129686a076e9-4
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skills or experience if you're new to it
or if you're very experienced.

dcd025ac-0d71-4a06-907e-129686a076e9-5
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I think the workshop works for everybody
because basically we're just talking

dcd025ac-0d71-4a06-907e-129686a076e9-6
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about the different skills and having a
think about it. So I do welcome you all.

dcd025ac-0d71-4a06-907e-129686a076e9-7
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So yeah,
absolutely check out the What's On

dcd025ac-0d71-4a06-907e-129686a076e9-8
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section of our website and hopefully I'll
see you there. OK,

dcd025ac-0d71-4a06-907e-129686a076e9-9
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but let's get into it so.

69183bf2-0251-4629-be7d-0caa5453931f-0
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Chloe actually wrote for Team Ed this
round. So thank you so much, Chloe,

69183bf2-0251-4629-be7d-0caa5453931f-1
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for joining my team. Unfortunately,
we didn't win. She did her best.

69183bf2-0251-4629-be7d-0caa5453931f-2
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She got a long listing. Come on,
it's not your fault. I take,

69183bf2-0251-4629-be7d-0caa5453931f-3
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I take responsibility.
My team's prompts this round were the

69183bf2-0251-4629-be7d-0caa5453931f-4
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word disco, the action of freaking out.
And of course,

69183bf2-0251-4629-be7d-0caa5453931f-5
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the kicker prompt was that you had to
feature a disco dancing move.

69183bf2-0251-4629-be7d-0caa5453931f-6
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And that could have been the name of a
move or something along those lines,

69183bf2-0251-4629-be7d-0caa5453931f-7
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or it could have been the dance.

508410ad-5f16-4397-a22c-fea6f5ad454b-0
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Itself. So let's hear Chloe's story now,
and then we'll come back and talk about

508410ad-5f16-4397-a22c-fea6f5ad454b-1
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it. Sounds good.
So here is Rosetta Stone by Chloe Page.

508410ad-5f16-4397-a22c-fea6f5ad454b-2
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My world is ending. I need to buy bread.

7d3320de-2969-4366-9289-91b5b1a43584-0
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I'm halfway through woollies cowering on
the grubby tiles because my noise

7d3320de-2969-4366-9289-91b5b1a43584-1
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cancelling headphones are dead and the
supermarket's quiet hour ended early.

7d3320de-2969-4366-9289-91b5b1a43584-2
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The international food aisle explodes
into countless cacophonies,

7d3320de-2969-4366-9289-91b5b1a43584-3
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the crank Top 40 shrieking overhead,
trolleys rattling, shoes squeaking,

7d3320de-2969-4366-9289-91b5b1a43584-4
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dozens of voices whirring into a tinnitus
of language my autistic tongue can't

7d3320de-2969-4366-9289-91b5b1a43584-5
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respond to.

3c8d7b4d-b63d-4c97-8710-229c06237d90-0
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Flaming fluorescent flash bangs,
packaging and screaming colours and

3c8d7b4d-b63d-4c97-8710-229c06237d90-1
00:04:12.635 --> 00:04:18.772
shoppers gawking at me,
rocking on the floor, reeking of coffee,

3c8d7b4d-b63d-4c97-8710-229c06237d90-2
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of sweat, of detergent, petrol, sunscreen,
grass, garlic, cigarettes, Cologne.

3c8d7b4d-b63d-4c97-8710-229c06237d90-3
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I need to buy bread.

83a8ac49-9047-41b5-b352-d421f46198dd-0
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If I wrangle Ellie to kindergarten
tomorrow without her sandwich,

83a8ac49-9047-41b5-b352-d421f46198dd-1
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Nutella spread thick, cut into flowers,
she'll meltdown and then her kindergarten

83a8ac49-9047-41b5-b352-d421f46198dd-2
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will call,
and then I'll have to skip work and then

83a8ac49-9047-41b5-b352-d421f46198dd-3
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I can't afford to rent again,
and then we'll be homeless, and then,

83a8ac49-9047-41b5-b352-d421f46198dd-4
00:04:56.138 --> 00:04:56.960
and then.

341a6751-7553-4737-a85f-23d0206b7c35-0
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In my floundering,
I elbow the Curry paste.

341a6751-7553-4737-a85f-23d0206b7c35-1
00:05:02.872 --> 00:05:07.450
The Josh shatters,
throttling me with coriander and cumin

341a6751-7553-4737-a85f-23d0206b7c35-2
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and chilli.
It smears my dress like a blood stain

341a6751-7553-4737-a85f-23d0206b7c35-3
00:05:11.396 --> 00:05:16.131
while I choke on my mother tongue of
untranslatable grunts,

341a6751-7553-4737-a85f-23d0206b7c35-4
00:05:16.131 --> 00:05:22.366
cries and yelps as I drown in this two
metre ocean between the Taco shells and

341a6751-7553-4737-a85f-23d0206b7c35-5
00:05:22.366 --> 00:05:28.679
the garam masala. Strangers point phones.
They mutter about calling the police.

c3c1bb8d-858e-4ff6-831e-deb756bcd579-0
00:05:29.920 --> 00:05:37.348
They debate labels, addict,
maybe homeless or perhaps unwell.

c3c1bb8d-858e-4ff6-831e-deb756bcd579-1
00:05:37.348 --> 00:05:45.256
When they see my headphones,
my sunflower lanyard and my flapping

c3c1bb8d-858e-4ff6-831e-deb756bcd579-2
00:05:45.256 --> 00:05:54.602
hands, they finally settle on ******.
So when you round the corner, frowning,

c3c1bb8d-858e-4ff6-831e-deb756bcd579-3
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I shrink back.

3532705a-a94e-4e9f-bf02-831ebb03892d-0
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Surely A paramedic will strap me to a
Gurney and cart me away for being

3532705a-a94e-4e9f-bf02-831ebb03892d-1
00:06:03.294 --> 00:06:08.040
autistic in public,
for being a single mum unable to afford

3532705a-a94e-4e9f-bf02-831ebb03892d-2
00:06:08.040 --> 00:06:12.548
grocery delivery,
for disturbing all these well adjusted

3532705a-a94e-4e9f-bf02-831ebb03892d-3
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people shopping for their well adjusted
families.

3532705a-a94e-4e9f-bf02-831ebb03892d-4
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Instead you brush away the shattered
glass, sit with me in the Curry.

30080389-6908-4366-bfe9-18c433f0e069-0
00:06:24.360 --> 00:06:30.326
Fluorescence gleam off your uniforms,
reflective strips.

30080389-6908-4366-bfe9-18c433f0e069-1
00:06:30.326 --> 00:06:37.653
You fish a palm sized notepad from your
breast pocket and then a pen.

30080389-6908-4366-bfe9-18c433f0e069-2
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Even though I splutter tears and snot all
over your hands, you steady mine.

30080389-6908-4366-bfe9-18c433f0e069-3
00:06:45.608 --> 00:06:53.040
I don't expect you'll understand my
scrolls, but I scroll nonetheless.

ff252dda-33ae-455f-b958-ccf8857399cf-0
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Because I'm voiceless,
Ellie's kindergarten is calling,

ff252dda-33ae-455f-b958-ccf8857399cf-1
00:07:05.155 --> 00:07:16.696
and my world is ending.
I need to buy bread. You nod, stand,

ff252dda-33ae-455f-b958-ccf8857399cf-2
00:07:16.696 --> 00:07:20.480
and leave the aisle.

4c681086-cf6a-4df7-b9f9-7ba859f09423-0
00:07:22.400 --> 00:07:28.368
And when you return,
cradling a half dozen loaves,

4c681086-cf6a-4df7-b9f9-7ba859f09423-1
00:07:28.368 --> 00:07:36.912
I managed to point to the home brand.
I wasn't born with your codecs for

4c681086-cf6a-4df7-b9f9-7ba859f09423-2
00:07:36.912 --> 00:07:42.998
communication,
but here we are discovering a pigeon

4c681086-cf6a-4df7-b9f9-7ba859f09423-3
00:07:42.998 --> 00:07:48.850
language.
You help me up and ferry me across this

4c681086-cf6a-4df7-b9f9-7ba859f09423-4
00:07:48.850 --> 00:07:50.840
ocean past India.

cbe7223d-188a-47a2-bed5-44de23610383-0
00:07:52.000 --> 00:07:58.810
In Spain, Greece and Mexico,
the grumbling dialects and beeping

cbe7223d-188a-47a2-bed5-44de23610383-1
00:07:58.810 --> 00:08:03.705
checkouts,
bread clutched as priceless cargo.

cbe7223d-188a-47a2-bed5-44de23610383-2
00:08:03.705 --> 00:08:11.579
The car park greets us with a breeze.
A whispering brush through my hair.

cbe7223d-188a-47a2-bed5-44de23610383-3
00:08:11.579 --> 00:08:19.560
I slump against my car and try returning
your notepad. Still stuttering...

d2bf9b30-cc81-437b-a7b3-ed1b7124b3bc-0
00:08:21.760 --> 00:08:30.267
You shake your head,
push the notepad back into my hand,

d2bf9b30-cc81-437b-a7b3-ed1b7124b3bc-1
00:08:30.267 --> 00:08:39.968
curl my fingers around it.
If language is lost and tongues can't

d2bf9b30-cc81-437b-a7b3-ed1b7124b3bc-2
00:08:39.968 --> 00:08:49.520
translate, at least there is this.
Our paper Rosetta Stone. So.

393e566c-53dc-4eaa-b5e4-ecb281870216-0
00:08:50.840 --> 00:08:57.563
I nod,
clip the notepad to my sunflower lanyard,

393e566c-53dc-4eaa-b5e4-ecb281870216-1
00:08:57.563 --> 00:09:01.680
and then turn to face the sun.

71a1a226-b3af-4781-9e60-1b3bd5879c02-0
00:09:18.480 --> 00:09:21.626
So thank you, Chloe.
And before we get into the story,

71a1a226-b3af-4781-9e60-1b3bd5879c02-1
00:09:21.626 --> 00:09:25.173
just to mention that Elise,
our guest judge Elise this round,

71a1a226-b3af-4781-9e60-1b3bd5879c02-2
00:09:25.173 --> 00:09:29.521
picked this story for her wild card,
which we talked about on the shortlist

71a1a226-b3af-4781-9e60-1b3bd5879c02-3
00:09:29.521 --> 00:09:32.267
episode.
And she called out the reasons why the

71a1a226-b3af-4781-9e60-1b3bd5879c02-4
00:09:32.267 --> 00:09:36.729
story really spoke to her so obviously.
And she's marked it as a favourite as

71a1a226-b3af-4781-9e60-1b3bd5879c02-5
00:09:36.729 --> 00:09:41.134
well in her judging with a note that this
is definitely her favourite story.

71a1a226-b3af-4781-9e60-1b3bd5879c02-6
00:09:41.134 --> 00:09:45.310
So I guess before we get into it,
like we should call out that these are

71a1a226-b3af-4781-9e60-1b3bd5879c02-7
00:09:45.310 --> 00:09:48.399
our opinions about the story that we will
talk about.

eadeb1f3-c8e7-49b6-bd91-c67ff3e1e12e-0
00:09:49.000 --> 00:09:51.901
But you know,
a different judge can have completely

eadeb1f3-c8e7-49b6-bd91-c67ff3e1e12e-1
00:09:51.901 --> 00:09:55.528
different opinions and,
and there are things that appeal to some

eadeb1f3-c8e7-49b6-bd91-c67ff3e1e12e-2
00:09:55.528 --> 00:10:00.104
judges that might not appeal to others
and vice versa. So a winning story, Chloe,

eadeb1f3-c8e7-49b6-bd91-c67ff3e1e12e-3
00:10:00.104 --> 00:10:04.512
given that one of our judges gave it a
hearty yes and nominated you for a wild

eadeb1f3-c8e7-49b6-bd91-c67ff3e1e12e-4
00:10:04.512 --> 00:10:07.079
card.
So you're going into this critique with

eadeb1f3-c8e7-49b6-bd91-c67ff3e1e12e-5
00:10:07.079 --> 00:10:10.036
that going for you.
And Chloe's left us a voicemail,

eadeb1f3-c8e7-49b6-bd91-c67ff3e1e12e-6
00:10:10.036 --> 00:10:11.320
so we'll play that now.

15b59e40-f899-4561-9d05-08075dcf2a87-0
00:10:14.480 --> 00:10:18.313
Hello Chloe,
Page here dragging myself to the pyre for

15b59e40-f899-4561-9d05-08075dcf2a87-1
00:10:18.313 --> 00:10:22.356
my Daredevil roasting.
This is my first Daredevil and I'm

15b59e40-f899-4561-9d05-08075dcf2a87-2
00:10:22.356 --> 00:10:26.677
excited to be here.
I'm also excited to meet you at the Flesh

15b59e40-f899-4561-9d05-08075dcf2a87-3
00:10:26.677 --> 00:10:30.929
Fiction book launch.
I've been writing for a year and a half

15b59e40-f899-4561-9d05-08075dcf2a87-4
00:10:30.929 --> 00:10:34.065
now,
so I'm incredibly lucky and grateful to

15b59e40-f899-4561-9d05-08075dcf2a87-5
00:10:34.065 --> 00:10:38.944
have shortlisted twice already,
but I am daring to dream bigger and I

15b59e40-f899-4561-9d05-08075dcf2a87-6
00:10:38.944 --> 00:10:42.360
would love to get my hands on the pointy
trophy.

fd12a486-f79a-4fe0-b53d-a917fe950b2c-0
00:10:42.880 --> 00:10:46.338
Rosetta Stone is actually inspired by a
recent event,

fd12a486-f79a-4fe0-b53d-a917fe950b2c-1
00:10:46.338 --> 00:10:50.374
this is just a more dramatic version.
I never got their names,

fd12a486-f79a-4fe0-b53d-a917fe950b2c-2
00:10:50.374 --> 00:10:54.089
but their real life paramedics were the
loveliest people.

fd12a486-f79a-4fe0-b53d-a917fe950b2c-3
00:10:54.089 --> 00:10:58.637
The freaking out prompt was the perfect
opportunity to write about it.

fd12a486-f79a-4fe0-b53d-a917fe950b2c-4
00:10:58.637 --> 00:11:03.825
I have a list of issues with this story
so I'm keen to see if you agree and what

fd12a486-f79a-4fe0-b53d-a917fe950b2c-5
00:11:03.825 --> 00:11:08.629
you have to say. If you have time,
I'd also like to know if there were any

fd12a486-f79a-4fe0-b53d-a917fe950b2c-6
00:11:08.629 --> 00:11:11.639
similar problems in my 2 short listed
stories.

3973ac2b-b729-4937-81d8-59cf6ccdcc80-0
00:11:12.120 --> 00:11:17.579
Because this is my first Daredevil,
I trust you will be so nice and so

3973ac2b-b729-4937-81d8-59cf6ccdcc80-1
00:11:17.579 --> 00:11:21.270
gracious to me.
Also because you are just truly

3973ac2b-b729-4937-81d8-59cf6ccdcc80-2
00:11:21.270 --> 00:11:27.730
delightful people who definitely have no
reason at all to hold a grudge against me.

3973ac2b-b729-4937-81d8-59cf6ccdcc80-3
00:11:27.730 --> 00:11:33.497
Thank you so much for supporting my work
and tell your darlings I said hi.

3973ac2b-b729-4937-81d8-59cf6ccdcc80-4
00:11:33.497 --> 00:11:38.188
So thank you, Chloe.
You've done really well in a year and a

3973ac2b-b729-4937-81d8-59cf6ccdcc80-5
00:11:38.188 --> 00:11:40.880
half and she's just, she's already.

f9f33000-a45a-4438-b006-26972aa15f1c-0
00:11:42.040 --> 00:11:45.776
Hit our shortlist several times and long
list as well.

f9f33000-a45a-4438-b006-26972aa15f1c-1
00:11:45.776 --> 00:11:49.513
So well done and winning other comps as
well. So yeah,

f9f33000-a45a-4438-b006-26972aa15f1c-2
00:11:49.513 --> 00:11:54.880
very impressive and Ed styling is right
here and heard your little hello she's

f9f33000-a45a-4438-b006-26972aa15f1c-3
00:11:54.880 --> 00:11:55.560
waving so.

8e781a68-a378-4ef4-8ebc-98b263cd08f3-0
00:11:56.680 --> 00:11:59.224
My darling,
we'll meet you at the Flesh Fiction

8e781a68-a378-4ef4-8ebc-98b263cd08f3-1
00:11:59.224 --> 00:12:01.609
launch.
So that's the way to meet you there.

8e781a68-a378-4ef4-8ebc-98b263cd08f3-2
00:12:01.609 --> 00:12:05.266
And interesting hearing that this was
based on a true story as well.

8e781a68-a378-4ef4-8ebc-98b263cd08f3-3
00:12:05.266 --> 00:12:07.757
We always say write what you know. Yeah,
like,

8e781a68-a378-4ef4-8ebc-98b263cd08f3-4
00:12:07.757 --> 00:12:10.566
I don't know what your experience is
exactly. Chloe,

8e781a68-a378-4ef4-8ebc-98b263cd08f3-5
00:12:10.566 --> 00:12:14.700
I know you've mentioned before about
something that we posted relating to the

8e781a68-a378-4ef4-8ebc-98b263cd08f3-6
00:12:14.700 --> 00:12:17.297
experience of neurodivergence and how,
you know,

8e781a68-a378-4ef4-8ebc-98b263cd08f3-7
00:12:17.297 --> 00:12:20.265
I'm always talking about emotional
resonance and so on.

8e781a68-a378-4ef4-8ebc-98b263cd08f3-8
00:12:20.265 --> 00:12:24.293
And this story is all about how those
emotions and that way of thinking and

8e781a68-a378-4ef4-8ebc-98b263cd08f3-9
00:12:24.293 --> 00:12:26.520
feeling isn't exactly experience the same.

718812b3-08b4-4a79-8cb2-cbba62ff3249-0
00:12:26.600 --> 00:12:30.018
Same way by all people or understood the
same way by all people.

718812b3-08b4-4a79-8cb2-cbba62ff3249-1
00:12:30.018 --> 00:12:34.383
And so it's very important and wonderful
to be able to showcase that experience in

718812b3-08b4-4a79-8cb2-cbba62ff3249-2
00:12:34.383 --> 00:12:37.065
this way.
And if you did have a similar experience

718812b3-08b4-4a79-8cb2-cbba62ff3249-3
00:12:37.065 --> 00:12:39.431
while shopping,
like I'm sorry to hear that.

718812b3-08b4-4a79-8cb2-cbba62ff3249-4
00:12:39.431 --> 00:12:43.060
Like I think that's incredibly
overwhelming and stressful. And look,

718812b3-08b4-4a79-8cb2-cbba62ff3249-5
00:12:43.060 --> 00:12:45.584
nobody loves grocery shopping.
Let's be honest,

718812b3-08b4-4a79-8cb2-cbba62ff3249-6
00:12:45.584 --> 00:12:47.320
it is it is overwhelming to most.

12ee3949-9fdd-4e84-8745-95a18419f76f-0
00:12:47.960 --> 00:12:50.956
And certainly while I don't share these
particular challenges,

12ee3949-9fdd-4e84-8745-95a18419f76f-1
00:12:50.956 --> 00:12:54.570
I have been a parent of young child in a
shopping centre who's melting down

12ee3949-9fdd-4e84-8745-95a18419f76f-2
00:12:54.570 --> 00:12:57.946
themselves and then, you know,
you're sleep deprived and you're trying

12ee3949-9fdd-4e84-8745-95a18419f76f-3
00:12:57.946 --> 00:13:00.799
to deal with that.
So I can certainly relate on that level.

babbbc9a-41ba-4753-9a0a-b4936f8a74cf-0
00:13:01.520 --> 00:13:04.105
Yeah.
Obviously wanting to share that idea of

babbbc9a-41ba-4753-9a0a-b4936f8a74cf-1
00:13:04.105 --> 00:13:08.547
this small act of kindness and how much
it really means and how important that

babbbc9a-41ba-4753-9a0a-b4936f8a74cf-2
00:13:08.547 --> 00:13:11.020
can be to people.
I think that's wonderful.

babbbc9a-41ba-4753-9a0a-b4936f8a74cf-3
00:13:11.020 --> 00:13:15.517
And you mentioned that there are some
thoughts that you have about this, Chloe.

babbbc9a-41ba-4753-9a0a-b4936f8a74cf-4
00:13:15.517 --> 00:13:20.240
Will be interesting to see if they align
to our feedback as we go through that now.

5f007261-db4b-4b21-bba4-de5ee89afedd-0
00:13:21.040 --> 00:13:23.461
So shall we start, as we do,
with the title?

5f007261-db4b-4b21-bba4-de5ee89afedd-1
00:13:23.461 --> 00:13:27.389
And the title here is Rosetta Stone.
You've just been giving me a lovely

5f007261-db4b-4b21-bba4-de5ee89afedd-2
00:13:27.389 --> 00:13:31.856
lecture about what the Rosetta Stone is
explained to you before we I did actually,

5f007261-db4b-4b21-bba4-de5ee89afedd-3
00:13:31.856 --> 00:13:34.923
you know what?
I did Google it previously when I knew we

5f007261-db4b-4b21-bba4-de5ee89afedd-4
00:13:34.923 --> 00:13:37.345
would be reading Chloe's story.
And in fact,

5f007261-db4b-4b21-bba4-de5ee89afedd-5
00:13:37.345 --> 00:13:41.381
probably when I read it in judging.
And I was like, what is that? And yes,

5f007261-db4b-4b21-bba4-de5ee89afedd-6
00:13:41.381 --> 00:13:45.040
I know I'm a big fat idiot.
I'm sure I'm not the only one out there

5f007261-db4b-4b21-bba4-de5ee89afedd-7
00:13:45.040 --> 00:13:48.807
who is unfamiliar with the Rosetta Stone.
But for those who, like me,

5f007261-db4b-4b21-bba4-de5ee89afedd-8
00:13:48.807 --> 00:13:50.959
are happy to admit that they don't know.

2c2c9e35-bcf1-4b9e-bde3-4965b9c7d9b9-0
00:13:51.160 --> 00:13:56.027
Everything. You who does know everything,
why don't you share with us what it is?

2c2c9e35-bcf1-4b9e-bde3-4965b9c7d9b9-1
00:13:56.027 --> 00:13:58.699
OK. Well,
the Rosetta Stone was a stone that

2c2c9e35-bcf1-4b9e-bde3-4965b9c7d9b9-2
00:13:58.699 --> 00:14:02.201
contained writing. With you so far.
With you so far. Yeah,

2c2c9e35-bcf1-4b9e-bde3-4965b9c7d9b9-3
00:14:02.201 --> 00:14:06.178
that was discovered. I,
I think it was in the 1800s at some point.

2c2c9e35-bcf1-4b9e-bde3-4965b9c7d9b9-4
00:14:06.178 --> 00:14:09.384
And it contained hieroglyphics and the
same sentence,

2c2c9e35-bcf1-4b9e-bde3-4965b9c7d9b9-5
00:14:09.384 --> 00:14:12.649
basically the same paragraph written in
hieroglyphics.

2c2c9e35-bcf1-4b9e-bde3-4965b9c7d9b9-6
00:14:12.649 --> 00:14:17.516
And in Greek that helped translate what
hieroglyphics meant, because before that,

2c2c9e35-bcf1-4b9e-bde3-4965b9c7d9b9-7
00:14:17.516 --> 00:14:20.959
in the modern era,
people didn't know what hieroglyphics.

bd74afce-b099-4519-8c58-c5f4a105b80f-0
00:14:21.200 --> 00:14:23.575
It was like a lost language.
So that one stone,

bd74afce-b099-4519-8c58-c5f4a105b80f-1
00:14:23.575 --> 00:14:27.436
that one discovery unlocked a whole
language in all of this history that goes

bd74afce-b099-4519-8c58-c5f4a105b80f-2
00:14:27.436 --> 00:14:31.000
along with it in ancient Egypt.
I promise you I'm not going to remember

bd74afce-b099-4519-8c58-c5f4a105b80f-3
00:14:31.000 --> 00:14:34.514
any of that. So that's wonderful.
So Rosetta Stone is the title. Look,

bd74afce-b099-4519-8c58-c5f4a105b80f-4
00:14:34.514 --> 00:14:38.177
I think this captures obviously one of
the main themes here of the story,

bd74afce-b099-4519-8c58-c5f4a105b80f-5
00:14:38.177 --> 00:14:41.939
which is this idea of communication and
main character here being obviously

bd74afce-b099-4519-8c58-c5f4a105b80f-6
00:14:41.939 --> 00:14:45.800
restricted in the ways that she's able to
communicate with the outside world.

3a342abf-e26f-474d-a2c1-40c366b1511a-0
00:14:46.320 --> 00:14:51.138
And the Rosetta Stone representing the
person who enters the scene and is able

3a342abf-e26f-474d-a2c1-40c366b1511a-1
00:14:51.138 --> 00:14:56.200
to kind of translate what she's saying.
So absolutely fitting title for the story.

3a342abf-e26f-474d-a2c1-40c366b1511a-2
00:14:56.200 --> 00:14:59.005
Well,
you say that and there is an element of

3a342abf-e26f-474d-a2c1-40c366b1511a-3
00:14:59.005 --> 00:15:03.213
assumed knowledge, which, OK,
everybody but me, it knows what it is.

3a342abf-e26f-474d-a2c1-40c366b1511a-4
00:15:03.213 --> 00:15:06.080
And that's fine. But also, I don't know,
like.

63a085ce-4814-44e5-9743-adf6d602f2b5-0
00:15:06.440 --> 00:15:09.865
I think maybe it needed a little bit more
than just Rosetta Stone,

63a085ce-4814-44e5-9743-adf6d602f2b5-1
00:15:09.865 --> 00:15:13.136
like my own Rosetta Stone or something
like that. I don't know.

63a085ce-4814-44e5-9743-adf6d602f2b5-2
00:15:13.136 --> 00:15:15.437
To just put it in the context of this
story,

63a085ce-4814-44e5-9743-adf6d602f2b5-3
00:15:15.437 --> 00:15:17.941
I don't know if others would share that
opinion,

63a085ce-4814-44e5-9743-adf6d602f2b5-4
00:15:17.941 --> 00:15:21.622
but certainly there are other options.
But I think it works fine. Yeah.

63a085ce-4814-44e5-9743-adf6d602f2b5-5
00:15:21.622 --> 00:15:25.149
And so the story opens with my world is
ending. I need to buy bread.

63a085ce-4814-44e5-9743-adf6d602f2b5-6
00:15:25.149 --> 00:15:28.983
I'm halfway through woollies cowering on
the grubby tiles because my noise

63a085ce-4814-44e5-9743-adf6d602f2b5-7
00:15:28.983 --> 00:15:32.920
cancelling headphones are dead and the
supermarket's quiet hour ended early.

1de6e124-cb56-4029-b9bf-085d0eacbf6d-0
00:15:33.360 --> 00:15:38.128
What I feel could help this opening
sequence to just kind of help the reader

1de6e124-cb56-4029-b9bf-085d0eacbf6d-1
00:15:38.128 --> 00:15:42.896
to immediately be in the action and
understand the stakes and understand the

1de6e124-cb56-4029-b9bf-085d0eacbf6d-2
00:15:42.896 --> 00:15:46.240
situation is just to reorder some of
these sequences.

3a426d62-49ce-4707-8ac6-a67543b5d9e6-0
00:15:46.720 --> 00:15:50.682
We have the third paragraph here,
which is full of this great detail and

3a426d62-49ce-4707-8ac6-a67543b5d9e6-1
00:15:50.682 --> 00:15:54.700
all of this sensory information.
So the international food aisle explodes

3a426d62-49ce-4707-8ac6-a67543b5d9e6-2
00:15:54.700 --> 00:15:58.228
into countless cacophonies,
the crank Top 40 shrieking overhead,

3a426d62-49ce-4707-8ac6-a67543b5d9e6-3
00:15:58.228 --> 00:16:02.462
trolleys rattling, shoes squeaking,
dozens of voices whirring into a tinnitus

3a426d62-49ce-4707-8ac6-a67543b5d9e6-4
00:16:02.462 --> 00:16:05.122
of language my autistic tongue can't
respond to,

3a426d62-49ce-4707-8ac6-a67543b5d9e6-5
00:16:05.122 --> 00:16:09.628
Flaming fluorescent flashbangs packed in
screaming colours and shoppers gawking at

3a426d62-49ce-4707-8ac6-a67543b5d9e6-6
00:16:09.628 --> 00:16:13.374
me, rocking on the floor,
reeking of coffee, of sweat, of detergent,

3a426d62-49ce-4707-8ac6-a67543b5d9e6-7
00:16:13.374 --> 00:16:16.360
petrol, sunscreen, grass, garlic,
cigarettes, Cologne.

3f4d53ba-d033-488e-a898-f1d9a5c1c750-0
00:16:17.000 --> 00:16:21.703
I think you should lead with that.
I think that's the opening because we

3f4d53ba-d033-488e-a898-f1d9a5c1c750-1
00:16:21.703 --> 00:16:26.342
know from, you know, the third,
fourth word where we are and then we're

3f4d53ba-d033-488e-a898-f1d9a5c1c750-2
00:16:26.342 --> 00:16:29.499
just hit with this cacophony of sensory
details,

3f4d53ba-d033-488e-a898-f1d9a5c1c750-3
00:16:29.499 --> 00:16:34.073
which puts us exactly in the state of
mind that our protagonist is in,

3f4d53ba-d033-488e-a898-f1d9a5c1c750-4
00:16:34.073 --> 00:16:39.356
and we get it. So if you lead with that,
if you lead with the detail and then you

3f4d53ba-d033-488e-a898-f1d9a5c1c750-5
00:16:39.356 --> 00:16:43.480
hit us with my world is ending,
then we know why at that point.

dbf5d02d-3ae4-40fe-8f8d-aecbd90185ac-0
00:16:43.880 --> 00:16:46.482
And then we get the detail of I need to
buy bread.

dbf5d02d-3ae4-40fe-8f8d-aecbd90185ac-1
00:16:46.482 --> 00:16:50.564
So now we understand why she's in that
frame of mind and we get what the stakes

dbf5d02d-3ae4-40fe-8f8d-aecbd90185ac-2
00:16:50.564 --> 00:16:54.595
are and how they're affecting her in that
moment. So I would just add to that,

dbf5d02d-3ae4-40fe-8f8d-aecbd90185ac-3
00:16:54.595 --> 00:16:58.422
the first line in my world is ending.
I need to buy bread is very telling.

dbf5d02d-3ae4-40fe-8f8d-aecbd90185ac-4
00:16:58.422 --> 00:17:01.892
And I know we don't, you know,
everybody gets bored of this advice,

dbf5d02d-3ae4-40fe-8f8d-aecbd90185ac-5
00:17:01.892 --> 00:17:06.229
but it is good advice to show, don't tell.
And that's what we're talking about here,

dbf5d02d-3ae4-40fe-8f8d-aecbd90185ac-6
00:17:06.229 --> 00:17:08.934
that these lines about the international
food aisle,

dbf5d02d-3ae4-40fe-8f8d-aecbd90185ac-7
00:17:08.934 --> 00:17:10.720
etcetera are very much showing and.

b50a9872-0b14-4838-8388-cdb81a78de8d-0
00:17:11.200 --> 00:17:14.384
Not just showing,
but causing us to experience some level

b50a9872-0b14-4838-8388-cdb81a78de8d-1
00:17:14.384 --> 00:17:17.238
of that stress as well.
Because it is well written.

b50a9872-0b14-4838-8388-cdb81a78de8d-2
00:17:17.238 --> 00:17:21.685
It's kind of building speed, you know,
and picking up pace as we go through with

b50a9872-0b14-4838-8388-cdb81a78de8d-3
00:17:21.685 --> 00:17:24.979
these stressful items.
And it's a whole sensory experience.

b50a9872-0b14-4838-8388-cdb81a78de8d-4
00:17:24.979 --> 00:17:28.327
So we have all that.
The author doesn't need to then tell us

b50a9872-0b14-4838-8388-cdb81a78de8d-5
00:17:28.327 --> 00:17:29.920
that the world is ending now.

e07242c4-460c-4695-ae6b-5b5fa4c87080-0
00:17:30.560 --> 00:17:34.159
There would be the potential to say
something that sort of gives us more of

e07242c4-460c-4695-ae6b-5b5fa4c87080-1
00:17:34.159 --> 00:17:37.522
the character's voice in that moment,
because of course we've got this

e07242c4-460c-4695-ae6b-5b5fa4c87080-2
00:17:37.522 --> 00:17:39.796
cacophony.
We don't have much of A sense of the

e07242c4-460c-4695-ae6b-5b5fa4c87080-3
00:17:39.796 --> 00:17:42.780
character yet apart from that they're
finding it overwhelming.

e07242c4-460c-4695-ae6b-5b5fa4c87080-4
00:17:42.780 --> 00:17:46.569
But My World is ending as such a cliche
phrase that it doesn't actually give us

e07242c4-460c-4695-ae6b-5b5fa4c87080-5
00:17:46.569 --> 00:17:48.748
anything meaningful about this character
yet,

e07242c4-460c-4695-ae6b-5b5fa4c87080-6
00:17:48.748 --> 00:17:52.158
except that obviously they're overwhelmed,
which I think we get anyway.

e07242c4-460c-4695-ae6b-5b5fa4c87080-7
00:17:52.158 --> 00:17:55.473
So I do think we need the information
about needing to buy the bread,

e07242c4-460c-4695-ae6b-5b5fa4c87080-8
00:17:55.473 --> 00:17:56.800
but that's that's there and.

878b7493-d6f2-4cdb-a95e-0f929740546e-0
00:17:57.280 --> 00:18:01.507
This line that Chloe has chosen to repeat,
I need to buy bread throughout.

878b7493-d6f2-4cdb-a95e-0f929740546e-1
00:18:01.507 --> 00:18:05.171
I understand why you would do that.
You know, she's coming back,

878b7493-d6f2-4cdb-a95e-0f929740546e-2
00:18:05.171 --> 00:18:09.287
trying to centre herself on the goal.
But I'm not sure that that line is

878b7493-d6f2-4cdb-a95e-0f929740546e-3
00:18:09.287 --> 00:18:13.007
powerful enough to warrant a three time
repetition in this story.

878b7493-d6f2-4cdb-a95e-0f929740546e-4
00:18:13.007 --> 00:18:17.291
In the sense that I don't think it
necessarily has that emotional impact on

878b7493-d6f2-4cdb-a95e-0f929740546e-5
00:18:17.291 --> 00:18:21.801
the reader and that satisfaction that
comes from, you know, the rule of threes,

878b7493-d6f2-4cdb-a95e-0f929740546e-6
00:18:21.801 --> 00:18:23.999
like bringing in something three times.

2b6c5a38-c34d-49bf-870a-e5144319adc7-0
00:18:24.520 --> 00:18:28.486
It also doesn't really build throughout
the story. So we've got we still,

2b6c5a38-c34d-49bf-870a-e5144319adc7-1
00:18:28.486 --> 00:18:32.398
we still need bread three times.
I get why the goal remains unfulfilled,

2b6c5a38-c34d-49bf-870a-e5144319adc7-2
00:18:32.398 --> 00:18:35.989
but we're not escalating.
We sort of already started with my world

2b6c5a38-c34d-49bf-870a-e5144319adc7-3
00:18:35.989 --> 00:18:39.634
is ending and the story doesn't build
intentional drama from there.

2b6c5a38-c34d-49bf-870a-e5144319adc7-4
00:18:39.634 --> 00:18:42.099
This is a couple of different ideas,
I guess.

2b6c5a38-c34d-49bf-870a-e5144319adc7-5
00:18:42.099 --> 00:18:46.226
So I guess initially what I'm saying is
we don't need that telling sentence.

2b6c5a38-c34d-49bf-870a-e5144319adc7-6
00:18:46.226 --> 00:18:49.121
I think Ed,
you're basically agreeing and just saying

2b6c5a38-c34d-49bf-870a-e5144319adc7-7
00:18:49.121 --> 00:18:51.586
we give us all that sensory experience
first,

2b6c5a38-c34d-49bf-870a-e5144319adc7-8
00:18:51.586 --> 00:18:54.319
but also think about from a structure
perspective.

ba7d478f-1e6f-4d43-b23a-c6f584455faf-0
00:18:54.520 --> 00:18:57.378
Perspective, OK,
you've dropped us right in this scene,

ba7d478f-1e6f-4d43-b23a-c6f584455faf-1
00:18:57.378 --> 00:19:00.288
which is great.
We've got the scene goal that they want,

ba7d478f-1e6f-4d43-b23a-c6f584455faf-2
00:19:00.288 --> 00:19:02.840
Brett. We've got, like,
action happening already.

ba7d478f-1e6f-4d43-b23a-c6f584455faf-3
00:19:02.840 --> 00:19:05.749
Everybody's gawking.
But then where do we go from there?

ba7d478f-1e6f-4d43-b23a-c6f584455faf-4
00:19:05.749 --> 00:19:09.833
And I think that there is a challenge
here that the story is kind of staying in

ba7d478f-1e6f-4d43-b23a-c6f584455faf-5
00:19:09.833 --> 00:19:14.019
one place emotionally throughout. Yeah.
And therefore doesn't really take us on a

ba7d478f-1e6f-4d43-b23a-c6f584455faf-6
00:19:14.019 --> 00:19:16.520
journey.
Another piece of chunkier feedback that

ba7d478f-1e6f-4d43-b23a-c6f584455faf-7
00:19:16.520 --> 00:19:20.399
I'd like to give for this story,
which relates still to this language here.

f690d5e3-68ae-4741-871c-efcc13924844-0
00:19:20.920 --> 00:19:25.518
Is that it does feel to me emotionally a
little bit disconnected from the scene.

f690d5e3-68ae-4741-871c-efcc13924844-1
00:19:25.518 --> 00:19:29.322
So it's almost as if we're going back now,
present me, going back,

f690d5e3-68ae-4741-871c-efcc13924844-2
00:19:29.322 --> 00:19:33.694
looking at my past and sort of having
this view of what was playing out now,

f690d5e3-68ae-4741-871c-efcc13924844-3
00:19:33.694 --> 00:19:37.781
that character in that moment. And I,
I don't have autism myself and I,

f690d5e3-68ae-4741-871c-efcc13924844-4
00:19:37.781 --> 00:19:41.301
I'm not that I'm aware of.
And so I haven't had this personal

f690d5e3-68ae-4741-871c-efcc13924844-5
00:19:41.301 --> 00:19:44.140
experience.
I've certainly witnessed this kind of

f690d5e3-68ae-4741-871c-efcc13924844-6
00:19:44.140 --> 00:19:47.887
experience for other people.
And my assumption would be that when

f690d5e3-68ae-4741-871c-efcc13924844-7
00:19:47.887 --> 00:19:50.840
you're in that moment,
you're not intellectualised.

f7134a5a-4392-4654-bdb3-44a7c7198022-0
00:19:51.120 --> 00:19:54.035
What this is,
you're absolutely overwhelmed with the

f7134a5a-4392-4654-bdb3-44a7c7198022-1
00:19:54.035 --> 00:19:57.005
smells and the sounds and people crowding
around you,

f7134a5a-4392-4654-bdb3-44a7c7198022-2
00:19:57.005 --> 00:20:00.525
and you're rocking on the floor.
You're in this state of, like,

f7134a5a-4392-4654-bdb3-44a7c7198022-3
00:20:00.525 --> 00:20:03.495
absolute fight or flight.
You're not then saying, oh,

f7134a5a-4392-4654-bdb3-44a7c7198022-4
00:20:03.495 --> 00:20:07.070
my world is ending. Yeah.
It's just not the kind of intellectual

f7134a5a-4392-4654-bdb3-44a7c7198022-5
00:20:07.070 --> 00:20:10.205
thought that you have.
What you're thinking is, oh, God,

f7134a5a-4392-4654-bdb3-44a7c7198022-6
00:20:10.205 --> 00:20:14.055
that smell, this sound, blah, blah,
You know? And so for that reason,

f7134a5a-4392-4654-bdb3-44a7c7198022-7
00:20:14.055 --> 00:20:17.960
I feel like these summative statements
almost RIP us out of the scene.

3244bc6a-bb94-4880-a867-051aefe321e2-0
00:20:18.600 --> 00:20:22.688
Like hovering above, looking down on it,
when what I really want to do is be

3244bc6a-bb94-4880-a867-051aefe321e2-1
00:20:22.688 --> 00:20:26.882
immersed in that feeling of being so
overwhelmed that I don't even know what's

3244bc6a-bb94-4880-a867-051aefe321e2-2
00:20:26.882 --> 00:20:27.360
going on.

94312f01-1d9a-4da4-ad47-c2bf3ad53655-0
00:20:27.800 --> 00:20:30.822
Yeah, firstly,
we're in first person and secondly,

94312f01-1d9a-4da4-ad47-c2bf3ad53655-1
00:20:30.822 --> 00:20:32.600
we're in present tense, Right.

f89c1135-6f48-4a46-853a-ce515f76586b-0
00:20:32.600 --> 00:20:33.880
So it is not looking back.

440b99e2-dbe8-4c5a-a0d0-4f3442f0983a-0
00:20:33.880 --> 00:20:35.840
It's, it's like this is happening now.

499dedfa-5b5f-48eb-b82a-878e85314a55-0
00:20:35.960 --> 00:20:36.280
Yeah.

f88d0426-3c55-4cd8-b9fb-8b6e102d5ecf-0
00:20:36.400 --> 00:20:40.460
And what you've called out is like,
we have not only these generalised

f88d0426-3c55-4cd8-b9fb-8b6e102d5ecf-1
00:20:40.460 --> 00:20:45.150
statements of like, my world is ending,
but we have a character who's clearly not

f88d0426-3c55-4cd8-b9fb-8b6e102d5ecf-2
00:20:45.150 --> 00:20:49.039
in control of the situation,
having some pretty deep thoughts about

f88d0426-3c55-4cd8-b9fb-8b6e102d5ecf-3
00:20:49.039 --> 00:20:51.727
like,
what communication means and places that

f88d0426-3c55-4cd8-b9fb-8b6e102d5ecf-4
00:20:51.727 --> 00:20:55.787
people might be at and unable to
communicate in ways that other people

f88d0426-3c55-4cd8-b9fb-8b6e102d5ecf-5
00:20:55.787 --> 00:20:56.760
take for granted.

2058aa0f-f883-4e79-af23-72cbc10e4e0c-0
00:20:56.760 --> 00:20:59.903
I think that's a really interesting thing
to express,

2058aa0f-f883-4e79-af23-72cbc10e4e0c-1
00:20:59.903 --> 00:21:04.619
but we're expressing it in a story where
you're also trying to get the reader to

2058aa0f-f883-4e79-af23-72cbc10e4e0c-2
00:21:04.619 --> 00:21:09.160
feel what it is like for this person in
this moment where they can't do that.

60756988-f165-43fd-8137-b9829f084c7c-0
00:21:09.760 --> 00:21:13.892
So I feel like there are these two
competing effects that are working

60756988-f165-43fd-8137-b9829f084c7c-1
00:21:13.892 --> 00:21:15.840
against each other in this story.

757de52e-1585-4cc8-93c6-3931b52e578f-0
00:21:15.960 --> 00:21:17.600
Yeah, I do think that's a challenge here.

faa0eff3-f8db-4784-9597-c99d9942140a-0
00:21:17.600 --> 00:21:20.318
And both of them are wonderful and valid
effects,

faa0eff3-f8db-4784-9597-c99d9942140a-1
00:21:20.318 --> 00:21:24.560
but they are making it difficult for us
to fully experience one or the other.

0c0d45fa-fd34-4e06-a7a0-363701a5342a-0
00:21:24.560 --> 00:21:27.480
And I'm not sure exactly what the
solution to that is,

0c0d45fa-fd34-4e06-a7a0-363701a5342a-1
00:21:27.480 --> 00:21:31.835
whether you choose to do one thing thing
with one this one story and do the other

0c0d45fa-fd34-4e06-a7a0-363701a5342a-2
00:21:31.835 --> 00:21:33.960
thing another time in a different story.

4baa5f2a-5d62-41c9-906d-c7ed9faa7a7a-0
00:21:34.360 --> 00:21:37.422
The challenge for this story is too,
for that same reason,

4baa5f2a-5d62-41c9-906d-c7ed9faa7a7a-1
00:21:37.422 --> 00:21:41.522
when things start to come down and we've
got this paramedic who's sitting with

4baa5f2a-5d62-41c9-906d-c7ed9faa7a7a-2
00:21:41.522 --> 00:21:45.570
this character and being sympathetic,
it's like they've already switched over

4baa5f2a-5d62-41c9-906d-c7ed9faa7a7a-3
00:21:45.570 --> 00:21:48.840
to feeling that calmness when this person
sits down with them.

e0cf35ba-3c23-4a04-914b-796f887488f1-0
00:21:49.240 --> 00:21:51.618
When in fact,
what we expect is they're not calm really

e0cf35ba-3c23-4a04-914b-796f887488f1-1
00:21:51.618 --> 00:21:52.680
right until the very end.

f5c43b70-cc8a-4010-ab37-8ba80cc1b564-0
00:21:52.680 --> 00:21:55.644
And so again,
it's that difficulty of showing what's

f5c43b70-cc8a-4010-ab37-8ba80cc1b564-1
00:21:55.644 --> 00:21:58.161
happening and the kindness of this
stranger,

f5c43b70-cc8a-4010-ab37-8ba80cc1b564-2
00:21:58.161 --> 00:22:02.580
but through the eyes of someone who's
probably not yet ready to quite see that

f5c43b70-cc8a-4010-ab37-8ba80cc1b564-3
00:22:02.580 --> 00:22:06.440
because they're still completely
heightened in this emotional state.

96a69e56-979b-47f6-a671-d24f7f1577c4-0
00:22:06.760 --> 00:22:09.669
And just to come back to some of that
stuff because I think we've gone

96a69e56-979b-47f6-a671-d24f7f1577c4-1
00:22:09.669 --> 00:22:11.760
immediately into the critique,
which is wonderful.

a514656c-1bd6-4d38-b372-76915f1addf4-0
00:22:11.760 --> 00:22:13.120
That's our job here.

1f2c72bf-f803-4db5-b599-04cd94f0e850-0
00:22:13.560 --> 00:22:15.523
But I want to call,
pull out some things I loved about this

1f2c72bf-f803-4db5-b599-04cd94f0e850-1
00:22:15.523 --> 00:22:15.720
story.

da0c1e3a-be53-408e-8001-0e81dd0b9c36-0
00:22:15.720 --> 00:22:18.088
Now, very importantly,
this is a story that did make the long

da0c1e3a-be53-408e-8001-0e81dd0b9c36-1
00:22:18.088 --> 00:22:18.280
list.

a87754fc-5cbe-4c77-88bd-d569f85ee9d3-0
00:22:18.280 --> 00:22:20.577
So there'll be a lot of people listening
who are like, OK,

a87754fc-5cbe-4c77-88bd-d569f85ee9d3-1
00:22:20.577 --> 00:22:23.653
what's the difference between my story
that didn't make the long list and this

a87754fc-5cbe-4c77-88bd-d569f85ee9d3-2
00:22:23.653 --> 00:22:24.160
one that did?

9459b14e-6bdd-4334-8868-11465390f1cf-0
00:22:24.160 --> 00:22:25.680
So stop telling me all the problems.

91397b2a-e2a4-44a3-90dc-08361c3f2dc6-0
00:22:25.680 --> 00:22:28.040
Like, tell me like,
how to copy this story, you know?

295bb44e-8278-42d7-9dd5-7dbff04def89-0
00:22:28.520 --> 00:22:32.311
And I think one of the big,
big ticks is what we've talked about this,

295bb44e-8278-42d7-9dd5-7dbff04def89-1
00:22:32.311 --> 00:22:35.515
the immediate action,
this overwhelming feeling that we get

295bb44e-8278-42d7-9dd5-7dbff04def89-2
00:22:35.515 --> 00:22:39.040
from the description of the action that's
happening in the scene.

a98e45a9-b2a8-4dc8-ab66-6db04b712fad-0
00:22:39.040 --> 00:22:41.280
And I think that's very,
very artfully done.

b06dd680-7f3e-4123-b557-63c0bfd2fb97-0
00:22:41.720 --> 00:22:45.160
We're getting all of the senses being
assaulted here, and they are.

6566a554-3bd7-4dc8-9bd5-3299a50a4f34-0
00:22:45.160 --> 00:22:48.400
It's like I said before,
it's picking up that pace as it goes.

d54bf8ed-30d3-413c-acea-c1569df37fc5-0
00:22:48.400 --> 00:22:51.960
So it's just more and more and more until
you feel like you can't take anymore.

dc710328-f30c-40b7-bcdb-9e570d27eab1-0
00:22:51.960 --> 00:22:57.692
I think the way Chloe has written that is
very clever and mimics that emotional

dc710328-f30c-40b7-bcdb-9e570d27eab1-1
00:22:57.692 --> 00:23:00.200
experience of becoming overwhelmed.

3f9ca589-3569-4a42-b52b-a3973b6f7464-0
00:23:00.520 --> 00:23:02.240
So I think that's really wonderful.

c98076c8-3faf-4ddc-97e6-430c2777ab2c-0
00:23:02.240 --> 00:23:05.280
Like absolute tick in terms of emotional
resonance.

535d28f3-98bf-488c-8ddb-acefa33841ce-0
00:23:05.280 --> 00:23:08.594
I, reading this,
feel that overwhelm and I understand and

535d28f3-98bf-488c-8ddb-acefa33841ce-1
00:23:08.594 --> 00:23:13.222
appreciate the reasons why this character
has found themselves on the floor when

535d28f3-98bf-488c-8ddb-acefa33841ce-2
00:23:13.222 --> 00:23:15.280
they have sensory processing issues.

1ef879ca-ce2b-454e-a445-2238df787b53-0
00:23:15.280 --> 00:23:16.600
You know, it makes perfect sense.

412b4052-7555-45c8-9ea4-136c88ce4fd6-0
00:23:17.200 --> 00:23:19.880
That's huge to me always is the emotional
resonance.

acbd8ff5-a2e6-4e5f-be7b-5c97952264a5-0
00:23:19.880 --> 00:23:21.720
And I think Chloe's done a wonderful job
of that.

659257f7-8b39-47ea-955e-2274f3a373c4-0
00:23:21.720 --> 00:23:25.142
And not just there in that opening,
which is a really wonderful opening,

659257f7-8b39-47ea-955e-2274f3a373c4-1
00:23:25.142 --> 00:23:26.080
but also throughout.

7d823b63-1da3-448b-b04a-ba1f5f6f6d83-0
00:23:26.080 --> 00:23:30.525
And while we might challenge the kind of
philtre that's being put over the story

7d823b63-1da3-448b-b04a-ba1f5f6f6d83-1
00:23:30.525 --> 00:23:34.806
and this kind of analysis almost that's
happening in the action of the scene,

7d823b63-1da3-448b-b04a-ba1f5f6f6d83-2
00:23:34.806 --> 00:23:37.880
the scene itself that's happening there
is very moving.

f9797449-1eef-4595-afd4-65ff6d7cb8f3-0
00:23:37.880 --> 00:23:40.530
You know,
we've got this character who comes in and

f9797449-1eef-4595-afd4-65ff6d7cb8f3-1
00:23:40.530 --> 00:23:44.200
just sits down and very calmly just meets
this person where they're at.

8b9f76db-ae6b-4c76-95fe-c8616aaafcec-0
00:23:44.200 --> 00:23:49.489
And anybody who's had the experience of
someone showing them kindness when they

8b9f76db-ae6b-4c76-95fe-c8616aaafcec-1
00:23:49.489 --> 00:23:54.712
just cannot cope themselves would see in
that relief and that human connection

8b9f76db-ae6b-4c76-95fe-c8616aaafcec-2
00:23:54.712 --> 00:23:55.440
that comes.

c2377ce4-1df6-4777-bf10-88bd5d0fd1a2-0
00:23:55.440 --> 00:23:57.320
And I think that as well is really
beautiful.

e7a22075-2b68-4948-832e-672d04c90e8c-0
00:23:57.320 --> 00:24:01.172
And that's basically the key theme of
this story and a lovely,

e7a22075-2b68-4948-832e-672d04c90e8c-1
00:24:01.172 --> 00:24:02.640
uplifting kind of theme.

f482e112-353d-4114-98d5-dcb09824b819-0
00:24:03.000 --> 00:24:05.825
Look,
I agree as well on especially on the

f482e112-353d-4114-98d5-dcb09824b819-1
00:24:05.825 --> 00:24:06.680
scene itself.

edaecf10-7e7d-4940-881d-7ca7bf33e8a6-0
00:24:07.040 --> 00:24:08.400
We've all been to Woollies.

d0c31257-92f6-4934-9a96-d76f6f291852-0
00:24:08.400 --> 00:24:11.840
We've all listened to the Top 40 play on
the radio.

0632ae6c-d745-4bc0-bac3-023b6915a492-0
00:24:11.840 --> 00:24:16.920
And for me or some equivalent or whatever
the, whatever your national equivalent is.

be115c31-b6a7-40d5-ab02-ce86152fc214-0
00:24:17.080 --> 00:24:20.370
And for me, like reading this,
I felt that I was there and I could,

be115c31-b6a7-40d5-ab02-ce86152fc214-1
00:24:20.370 --> 00:24:24.000
you know, smell it, I could feel it,
I could hear it, all of those things.

428688a0-3918-406b-bf3d-afe6b4a42437-0
00:24:24.200 --> 00:24:29.609
And I really love the way that Chloe has
recognised that the way into this

428688a0-3918-406b-bf3d-afe6b4a42437-1
00:24:29.609 --> 00:24:33.720
character is to overwhelm our own senses
in the writing.

4f341261-25d1-46b5-ac1d-e895161c0061-0
00:24:33.720 --> 00:24:36.295
And,
and she's hitting us with the Curry paste

4f341261-25d1-46b5-ac1d-e895161c0061-1
00:24:36.295 --> 00:24:40.625
and the Taco shells and the sounds and
the smells and everything is hitting us

4f341261-25d1-46b5-ac1d-e895161c0061-2
00:24:40.625 --> 00:24:42.160
just as it is the character.

58263568-7048-48e1-9c57-8df0f3cf6420-0
00:24:42.760 --> 00:24:45.761
And I think that's really effective,
especially when we are,

58263568-7048-48e1-9c57-8df0f3cf6420-1
00:24:45.761 --> 00:24:48.960
it's a familiar place as well and a very
recognisable situation.

94b366a7-f280-4a20-8487-862c1cbb7acc-0
00:24:49.200 --> 00:24:51.472
And you know,
once we get into this aspect of talking

94b366a7-f280-4a20-8487-862c1cbb7acc-1
00:24:51.472 --> 00:24:53.493
about it as if we're passing through
countries,

94b366a7-f280-4a20-8487-862c1cbb7acc-2
00:24:53.493 --> 00:24:54.840
I think that's really great too.

8811443f-8c91-4bd0-a09e-23f7719ce5a2-0
00:24:54.840 --> 00:24:57.765
And obviously that ties into the Rosetta
Stone theme,

8811443f-8c91-4bd0-a09e-23f7719ce5a2-1
00:24:57.765 --> 00:25:00.800
but it's also like mimicking that
experience of travel.

6c6b750c-540c-43f3-8b5e-9fb09268ad2e-0
00:25:00.920 --> 00:25:04.870
And for people who have travelled to
foreign places that are unfamiliar,

6c6b750c-540c-43f3-8b5e-9fb09268ad2e-1
00:25:04.870 --> 00:25:09.200
unfamiliar smells and sights and sounds
and languages and getting stressed out,

6c6b750c-540c-43f3-8b5e-9fb09268ad2e-2
00:25:09.200 --> 00:25:13.584
that experience of travelling to these
kinds of places for a neurotypical person

6c6b750c-540c-43f3-8b5e-9fb09268ad2e-3
00:25:13.584 --> 00:25:17.860
is perhaps like mimicking what it might
be like to be in a grocery store where

6c6b750c-540c-43f3-8b5e-9fb09268ad2e-4
00:25:17.860 --> 00:25:20.837
you're just being,
your senses are being assaulted and

6c6b750c-540c-43f3-8b5e-9fb09268ad2e-5
00:25:20.837 --> 00:25:24.680
you're quite stressed and you don't
really feel right where you're at.

d29dcc80-7768-439e-805e-b328782fb7e0-0
00:25:25.000 --> 00:25:28.926
So I think that can also help people
connect with that experience too,

d29dcc80-7768-439e-805e-b328782fb7e0-1
00:25:28.926 --> 00:25:31.802
who maybe don't have the sensory
processing issues,

d29dcc80-7768-439e-805e-b328782fb7e0-2
00:25:31.802 --> 00:25:35.840
but who can imagine through this other
experience what it might be like.

8029761d-318c-433b-b503-7c157453417c-0
00:25:36.000 --> 00:25:38.934
So look,
I've got more to say on the themes and

8029761d-318c-433b-b503-7c157453417c-1
00:25:38.934 --> 00:25:40.280
especially the ending.

2a2994b8-f9ab-406b-b792-37f7a08f66fb-0
00:25:40.320 --> 00:25:43.769
I don't have too much to say about the
pros because as we've called out,

2a2994b8-f9ab-406b-b792-37f7a08f66fb-1
00:25:43.769 --> 00:25:47.360
it works really well and the picture
that's been painted is very evocative.

cc1cb10e-68fe-4c2d-b8ea-9ebd8ad705d5-0
00:25:47.720 --> 00:25:52.235
One line and that I found,
is actually kind of a critical line to

cc1cb10e-68fe-4c2d-b8ea-9ebd8ad705d5-1
00:25:52.235 --> 00:25:52.920
the story.

3a1f1e77-a8e8-4971-b14f-0f10e6f6ba05-0
00:25:52.920 --> 00:25:55.280
But I don't think I got the first time I
read.

2aabe1df-9271-4520-b23f-3c0c9905560b-0
00:25:55.280 --> 00:25:57.560
I needed to kind of go back and read it a
few times.

37abfb06-05a9-4b35-a0d5-cb13c87bf027-0
00:25:57.840 --> 00:26:01.040
So when you're round the corner frowning,
I shrink back.

099d413e-f90b-4347-af5a-27d54c3552f5-0
00:26:01.200 --> 00:26:04.871
Surely A paramedic will strap me to a
Gurney and cart me away for being

099d413e-f90b-4347-af5a-27d54c3552f5-1
00:26:04.871 --> 00:26:05.840
autistic in public.

032de855-1678-4533-80ad-5a1ae321e5a6-0
00:26:06.400 --> 00:26:11.173
It's critical that the reader draws a
connection to the U in this story,

032de855-1678-4533-80ad-5a1ae321e5a6-1
00:26:11.173 --> 00:26:15.096
the object, I guess,
of the story to the fact that they are

032de855-1678-4533-80ad-5a1ae321e5a6-2
00:26:15.096 --> 00:26:16.600
actually the paramedic.

c9d4562f-5762-43a6-81fe-1f58053b82de-0
00:26:17.080 --> 00:26:19.320
Those may be independent thoughts.

e429f55e-b465-4b27-abca-34b38d27e114-0
00:26:19.320 --> 00:26:20.840
It's not necessarily obvious.

17e09f6b-8c7b-426f-a7a0-0e780419d1fd-0
00:26:20.840 --> 00:26:23.720
I found for me that you are the paramedic.

5e0915e2-b51a-49d6-976b-fc56eef6fd50-0
00:26:24.120 --> 00:26:27.429
I'm not sure if you found that too,
but I think there's a little minor point

5e0915e2-b51a-49d6-976b-fc56eef6fd50-1
00:26:27.429 --> 00:26:28.160
of clarity there.

a4daa4a7-9c52-4517-82d3-b8269d9b92cf-0
00:26:28.240 --> 00:26:31.040
Well, actually I had no problem with that.

aaaefebd-9384-4b1c-bab7-beaeef44cc65-0
00:26:31.080 --> 00:26:31.320
Did you?

4144062c-a321-43fa-bb2d-d11c47e67862-0
00:26:32.080 --> 00:26:34.640
Maybe you had the Rosetta Stone and I
just didn't.

db8cee21-9d9e-40ca-b4bf-48ce9c718b7e-0
00:26:35.120 --> 00:26:35.720
Maybe.

82d77d41-e749-4711-bec0-d7ec2b8d5c60-0
00:26:36.480 --> 00:26:40.046
Well, look, you know,
I've talked before about my experience of

82d77d41-e749-4711-bec0-d7ec2b8d5c60-1
00:26:40.046 --> 00:26:43.000
disability,
that my husband has a severe disability.

1d772086-c0d2-4a22-aa20-b1fb568796e0-0
00:26:43.000 --> 00:26:47.024
And once you enter that world,
your eyes are open to other people's

1d772086-c0d2-4a22-aa20-b1fb568796e0-1
00:26:47.024 --> 00:26:50.280
experience of disability,
and they are very different.

8ab3a410-6c68-4ea2-88f0-cbd97b5903b1-0
00:26:50.800 --> 00:26:55.508
But I do very much resonate with the
kindness that's shown here and the simple

8ab3a410-6c68-4ea2-88f0-cbd97b5903b1-1
00:26:55.508 --> 00:26:59.800
kindness that can actually mean the world
to someone who is struggling.

b421e40e-44be-49a0-9bd4-a10780a6ae41-0
00:26:59.800 --> 00:27:03.840
And we've had that simple kindness shown
to us many times.

7b9372c7-4975-4475-bef4-2e8c75dc08d2-0
00:27:04.440 --> 00:27:08.440
And I would like to think I could show
that simple kindness to other people.

33ccfe63-dbff-4710-8f41-f1cb01946c47-0
00:27:08.840 --> 00:27:13.339
I think it's very easy to sort of have
this surface level empathy and to not

33ccfe63-dbff-4710-8f41-f1cb01946c47-1
00:27:13.339 --> 00:27:17.080
sort of actually fully appreciate what
someone's going through.

ba990474-3bb3-436a-935d-2c20a45d868b-0
00:27:17.080 --> 00:27:19.697
So for me,
this story evoked the power of simple

ba990474-3bb3-436a-935d-2c20a45d868b-1
00:27:19.697 --> 00:27:22.262
kindness,
and I think that's the thesis of this

ba990474-3bb3-436a-935d-2c20a45d868b-2
00:27:22.262 --> 00:27:24.879
story,
and I think that's what's beautiful about

ba990474-3bb3-436a-935d-2c20a45d868b-3
00:27:24.879 --> 00:27:25.040
it.

6fa0f138-8a4b-439d-8f24-62c12dfe58c3-0
00:27:25.240 --> 00:27:29.339
One thing I also just wanted to call out,
just on that note,

6fa0f138-8a4b-439d-8f24-62c12dfe58c3-1
00:27:29.339 --> 00:27:31.960
is the use of the R word in this story.

733eee46-29ac-4fa3-b97c-43e0bbf19c70-0
00:27:31.960 --> 00:27:37.840
I know it's back in fashion in the US,
but, yeah, it's a strong, powerful word.

b260bc46-8fb6-49cb-bf02-d4677ba8b2ad-0
00:27:37.840 --> 00:27:41.565
And it's also a word that would be
shocking for some people to hear,

b260bc46-8fb6-49cb-bf02-d4677ba8b2ad-1
00:27:41.565 --> 00:27:45.074
probably less so to us millennials and
older because, of course,

b260bc46-8fb6-49cb-bf02-d4677ba8b2ad-2
00:27:45.074 --> 00:27:47.720
that word was popular when we were young
anyway.

960dc425-0e18-4430-b9f9-719268cf984e-0
00:27:48.160 --> 00:27:52.593
But I think it's really nice to be able
to again, like, bring in that reality,

960dc425-0e18-4430-b9f9-719268cf984e-1
00:27:52.593 --> 00:27:55.960
the reality that people experience,
not shy away from that.

96661436-33ea-43b3-a990-4c3efee89c7a-0
00:27:55.960 --> 00:27:56.640
Put it out there.

e6e97b22-bc73-4658-a2a8-176586689778-0
00:27:56.640 --> 00:27:59.240
Put it on the page and make us look at
that.

00d2fe09-c3be-4253-9dbe-e2ba854d7076-0
00:27:59.360 --> 00:28:01.946
Yeah,
I'm not particularly offended by that

00d2fe09-c3be-4253-9dbe-e2ba854d7076-1
00:28:01.946 --> 00:28:02.240
word.

e6e8fc0b-aea1-4467-a2f0-ff810ac0687c-0
00:28:02.240 --> 00:28:06.120
I I don't necessarily think it's always
used in a particularly offensive way.

4198f57b-501c-4c7f-9f10-8f42460abcfc-0
00:28:06.120 --> 00:28:07.640
However, of course it can be.

9b078701-ed10-47c8-a9ca-83cc971ab1d4-0
00:28:08.160 --> 00:28:10.895
And for that reason,
it's sort of the shock value of that as

9b078701-ed10-47c8-a9ca-83cc971ab1d4-1
00:28:10.895 --> 00:28:11.120
well.

8524aff7-4cc7-47d0-abd0-60784c96b95f-0
00:28:11.120 --> 00:28:14.424
And to help appreciate this person's
experience that that's what they are

8524aff7-4cc7-47d0-abd0-60784c96b95f-1
00:28:14.424 --> 00:28:15.720
facing out in the real world.

ad3bb391-f48f-4467-98e4-8e1f34b095d1-0
00:28:16.040 --> 00:28:16.720
Yeah, Look, I agree.

9baf5681-d3d7-4c50-bcb0-9caef8ae5a58-0
00:28:16.720 --> 00:28:21.455
And I think there's maybe a temptation or
a worry when you're entering A rioting

9baf5681-d3d7-4c50-bcb0-9caef8ae5a58-1
00:28:21.455 --> 00:28:24.320
competition that you could use a word
like that.

c227beed-d8b9-45f2-9346-ab909a2962c6-0
00:28:24.320 --> 00:28:29.000
And your story gets thrown in the bin
because it offends someone who's on the

c227beed-d8b9-45f2-9346-ab909a2962c6-1
00:28:29.000 --> 00:28:30.080
judging committee.

ec6e8c26-f848-4849-84bc-ada5af510c41-0
00:28:30.080 --> 00:28:34.520
And I think Chloe knows us well enough to
know that we wouldn't do that.

8d75510f-7723-4f36-8494-256bd34429f8-0
00:28:34.560 --> 00:28:35.920
Well, you say that right.

0e27ea8a-34a3-41c0-ba19-a8c2d5c43e30-0
00:28:35.920 --> 00:28:39.428
But in this context,
we're getting this from the perspective

0e27ea8a-34a3-41c0-ba19-a8c2d5c43e30-1
00:28:39.428 --> 00:28:41.960
of the person who's being called that
slur.

a26eeef5-72f0-4fe2-827f-f2140e6cf248-0
00:28:41.960 --> 00:28:42.320
Yes.

97b93bdd-cf6c-4fb5-9997-b8832ae81290-0
00:28:42.560 --> 00:28:46.660
And I do wonder if we got a story that
very openly used that word in an

97b93bdd-cf6c-4fb5-9997-b8832ae81290-1
00:28:46.660 --> 00:28:50.760
insulting and offensive way,
and not because we want to read that word,

97b93bdd-cf6c-4fb5-9997-b8832ae81290-2
00:28:50.760 --> 00:28:52.640
it's because it serves the story.

47a71c05-271e-42e1-a1b2-13ed3615e991-0
00:28:52.640 --> 00:28:53.160
No, I know.

b3086b59-128e-43b1-a1ca-4054ab45f08b-0
00:28:53.160 --> 00:28:58.058
But but I'm just raising the point that
what if someone did use that word or any

b3086b59-128e-43b1-a1ca-4054ab45f08b-1
00:28:58.058 --> 00:29:00.840
other word in a way that was offensive to
me?

734023ad-c05f-4386-b102-6ffbdd1d8e1d-0
00:29:00.960 --> 00:29:04.185
Like, I'm reading it going I,
you can't say that, you know,

734023ad-c05f-4386-b102-6ffbdd1d8e1d-1
00:29:04.185 --> 00:29:07.464
and not just in a developing a kind of
unlikeable character,

734023ad-c05f-4386-b102-6ffbdd1d8e1d-2
00:29:07.464 --> 00:29:11.119
but in a way that the that's what the
author wanted to communicate.

67b80ad6-c4a5-476d-864d-a48227dd77f3-0
00:29:11.120 --> 00:29:13.381
I think I would struggle with that,
to be honest,

67b80ad6-c4a5-476d-864d-a48227dd77f3-1
00:29:13.381 --> 00:29:15.960
maybe and find it difficult to resonate
with that story.

f2736630-5f05-4c9b-b83b-1f980ae6426f-0
00:29:15.960 --> 00:29:16.400
I don't know.

cd9163b2-160d-44df-a766-87f954f4f7cf-0
00:29:16.400 --> 00:29:17.120
That's a challenge.

efcc9334-1e06-4eff-a13a-b33043f29fc5-0
00:29:17.120 --> 00:29:19.120
We'll put Yeah to our entrance for next
round.

ecb599fd-7316-4f48-b815-4a02ae8e6434-0
00:29:19.120 --> 00:29:22.600
Can you offend us so much that we give
you a dishonourable mention?

7de2c887-301d-4c26-a68e-321536a9473b-0
00:29:22.600 --> 00:29:25.085
Well,
can you offend us but still make the

7de2c887-301d-4c26-a68e-321536a9473b-1
00:29:25.085 --> 00:29:28.496
shortlist with something like deep,
like deeply offensive,

7de2c887-301d-4c26-a68e-321536a9473b-2
00:29:28.496 --> 00:29:30.000
not just swear words like.

ad6760d4-bb1b-41dc-a5d1-e6d592343377-0
00:29:30.200 --> 00:29:30.440
Yeah.

4d4184f0-028c-477e-9405-f77e0c57b76a-0
00:29:31.760 --> 00:29:36.774
One thing I also just wanted to mention
for our friends who are from elsewhere is

4d4184f0-028c-477e-9405-f77e0c57b76a-1
00:29:36.774 --> 00:29:38.120
the sunflower lanyard.

23d4dcd0-5df2-4ba5-9b3e-5dec46a27f9a-0
00:29:38.120 --> 00:29:40.600
I'm not sure if that's an international
symbol or not.

32256397-735b-4bb7-8cad-aeaf44a61259-0
00:29:40.640 --> 00:29:44.878
I believe it's an Aussie thing,
but correct me if I'm wrong,

32256397-735b-4bb7-8cad-aeaf44a61259-1
00:29:44.878 --> 00:29:49.394
that the symbol of the sunflower
represents hidden disabilities,

32256397-735b-4bb7-8cad-aeaf44a61259-2
00:29:49.394 --> 00:29:54.536
Hidden disabilities being often
intellectual or sensory disabilities that

32256397-735b-4bb7-8cad-aeaf44a61259-3
00:29:54.536 --> 00:29:55.440
we can't see.

fffa1c1d-d12d-45a8-a365-e79516177051-0
00:29:55.440 --> 00:29:58.394
So obviously my husband's disability is
very obvious to everyone,

fffa1c1d-d12d-45a8-a365-e79516177051-1
00:29:58.394 --> 00:30:01.080
and that can be helpful because people do
make way for you.

3cd574f7-d011-44c1-b6a7-59d7c33cc666-0
00:30:01.080 --> 00:30:04.951
But when you have a disability that's not
as obvious to other people,

3cd574f7-d011-44c1-b6a7-59d7c33cc666-1
00:30:04.951 --> 00:30:09.430
the idea is that you wear like a lanyard
or maybe a badge or something like that

3cd574f7-d011-44c1-b6a7-59d7c33cc666-2
00:30:09.430 --> 00:30:11.200
with the image of the sunflower.

9550e6cf-97ed-4273-850f-246e5ec1af6c-0
00:30:11.200 --> 00:30:13.841
And that people,
especially in like public transport,

9550e6cf-97ed-4273-850f-246e5ec1af6c-1
00:30:13.841 --> 00:30:17.069
airports, things like that,
they're trained to sort of understand

9550e6cf-97ed-4273-850f-246e5ec1af6c-2
00:30:17.069 --> 00:30:20.200
what that means and maybe give you a bit
of additional support.

42821c8b-6ec1-41fb-abc4-bb9af5b54f21-0
00:30:20.520 --> 00:30:22.360
That's where the sunflower lanyard comes
from.

5b052f3f-ed7a-4f5a-bef0-a2c593c1ce09-0
00:30:22.360 --> 00:30:26.194
And of course, in the ending here,
we also have the character turning to

5b052f3f-ed7a-4f5a-bef0-a2c593c1ce09-1
00:30:26.194 --> 00:30:28.400
face the sun like she's her own sunflower.

84a9433d-65aa-4316-8481-6cf9923e5824-0
00:30:28.920 --> 00:30:32.056
And so on that note,
I guess let's move into the ending and

84a9433d-65aa-4316-8481-6cf9923e5824-1
00:30:32.056 --> 00:30:33.520
the conclusion of the story.

3ca21a0f-20c7-41fe-8071-2e651ccd4095-0
00:30:33.520 --> 00:30:38.751
And I guess to also wrap up the themes
and think about how the story has reached

3ca21a0f-20c7-41fe-8071-2e651ccd4095-1
00:30:38.751 --> 00:30:39.720
its conclusion.

bdcdbb09-b12b-4cce-ada2-b3396182bc6e-0
00:30:40.120 --> 00:30:45.931
So obviously we had this paramedic step
in and and act as like an intermediary,

bdcdbb09-b12b-4cce-ada2-b3396182bc6e-1
00:30:45.931 --> 00:30:51.960
essentially show some sympathy and help
our protagonists get out of the situation.

0bee6071-a31d-4f2a-858e-79488eb50869-0
00:30:52.600 --> 00:30:57.463
She muses on these ideas and it ends in
if language is lost and tongues can't

0bee6071-a31d-4f2a-858e-79488eb50869-1
00:30:57.463 --> 00:31:00.705
translate,
at least there is this our paper Rosetta

0bee6071-a31d-4f2a-858e-79488eb50869-2
00:31:00.705 --> 00:31:01.079
Stone.

ec344eff-0349-4e0e-a91b-44011716b40f-0
00:31:01.360 --> 00:31:04.885
So I nod,
clip the notepad to my sunflower lanyard,

ec344eff-0349-4e0e-a91b-44011716b40f-1
00:31:04.885 --> 00:31:06.920
and then turn to face the sun.

230a1a61-0ac5-4466-bd90-f97c44ce47cb-0
00:31:07.480 --> 00:31:12.328
I mentioned on the Longest Episode that
there are a lot of stories that scented

230a1a61-0ac5-4466-bd90-f97c44ce47cb-1
00:31:12.328 --> 00:31:15.419
the freak out as like the main event of
the story,

230a1a61-0ac5-4466-bd90-f97c44ce47cb-2
00:31:15.419 --> 00:31:17.480
and this was one of those stories.

a876af1c-f0fa-4778-affe-d1b9554400c3-0
00:31:17.480 --> 00:31:20.920
We step in as the freak out happens,
we leave as the freak out ends.

6cd7f60c-cc64-41ab-89bd-c6efd3f7452b-0
00:31:21.600 --> 00:31:24.953
And I think that's a great idea because
it creates a lot of conflict,

6cd7f60c-cc64-41ab-89bd-c6efd3f7452b-1
00:31:24.953 --> 00:31:27.828
it creates a lot of drama,
and we can kind of get into that

6cd7f60c-cc64-41ab-89bd-c6efd3f7452b-2
00:31:27.828 --> 00:31:30.320
characters head and experience that along
with her.

9fac191d-d74c-448b-bcc8-3b464ce407f1-0
00:31:30.800 --> 00:31:34.915
But I found with a lot of stories,
and I'm not saying necessarily this one,

9fac191d-d74c-448b-bcc8-3b464ce407f1-1
00:31:34.915 --> 00:31:37.840
but I think there's some lessons that can
be learned,

9fac191d-d74c-448b-bcc8-3b464ce407f1-2
00:31:37.840 --> 00:31:40.440
is that once that freak out is over,
then what?

3160a8db-ddd0-426d-9712-41f1aa9b0802-0
00:31:40.520 --> 00:31:42.480
What is our takeaway from that moment?

628017b1-7ddb-4a59-b340-605b35fbe450-0
00:31:42.920 --> 00:31:43.880
In this particular case?

8b62e02e-f2d8-4972-90cb-d4dd1c226513-0
00:31:43.880 --> 00:31:45.200
We do have that moment of kindness.

06623408-06e2-41a5-81fb-76bff6f0e131-0
00:31:45.200 --> 00:31:46.400
It is something different.

faaaa174-717b-4052-8871-6188fe6b4dad-0
00:31:46.440 --> 00:31:47.440
We have a change.

a0aa6490-1c4d-41a2-891f-98ba34e7cd34-0
00:31:47.440 --> 00:31:50.486
We have a narrative arc where we started
from this place of freaking out,

a0aa6490-1c4d-41a2-891f-98ba34e7cd34-1
00:31:50.486 --> 00:31:51.680
if you will, inverted commas.

388ad8d3-92a6-44db-94df-1e9ee4d59aa4-0
00:31:52.000 --> 00:31:55.922
And we end with this sort of more serene
moment where the characters turning to

388ad8d3-92a6-44db-94df-1e9ee4d59aa4-1
00:31:55.922 --> 00:31:56.560
face the sun.

972121f2-7bb3-40a8-89ff-ead5a93505d1-0
00:31:57.120 --> 00:32:00.760
But it feels very much just like a thing
that happened.

128a658b-20fc-4410-a1b7-4e225f58d168-0
00:32:00.920 --> 00:32:01.080
Yeah.

0523afa4-25e3-426e-8e61-73cbfb4d1a68-0
00:32:01.080 --> 00:32:03.360
And not necessarily a permanent change.

5cae7f01-a438-4b4c-890a-56a99abdbe78-0
00:32:03.400 --> 00:32:05.840
Like, yeah,
a change has happened within this scene.

c589d925-2c9f-4bcd-b0a8-42ee1613ae31-0
00:32:05.840 --> 00:32:08.689
They've gone from this state of being to
that state of being,

c589d925-2c9f-4bcd-b0a8-42ee1613ae31-1
00:32:08.689 --> 00:32:12.320
but not in a way that feels permanent or
which will impact them going forward.

3323d24f-366a-4c1d-831b-788526c825cf-0
00:32:12.600 --> 00:32:15.373
If they were to come back to the shopping
centre again,

3323d24f-366a-4c1d-831b-788526c825cf-1
00:32:15.373 --> 00:32:18.394
be assaulted by all those sounds and
smells and so on again,

3323d24f-366a-4c1d-831b-788526c825cf-2
00:32:18.394 --> 00:32:19.880
would they not meltdown again?

8c4ab132-721b-4602-8c57-29b3d314710d-0
00:32:20.080 --> 00:32:23.256
And because they were in a state of
meltdown and not necessarily like

8c4ab132-721b-4602-8c57-29b3d314710d-1
00:32:23.256 --> 00:32:26.432
conscious, as we've talked about, of,
of what's going on around them,

8c4ab132-721b-4602-8c57-29b3d314710d-2
00:32:26.432 --> 00:32:28.520
what would make that different the next
time?

fe601d59-3da4-473e-aefc-0b2ef930d17c-0
00:32:28.520 --> 00:32:30.040
And it's probably nothing, right?

77cc457d-d0e9-4010-8651-9ae08e2c0302-0
00:32:30.040 --> 00:32:31.400
So we've got this one experience.

33f5beda-a323-41f4-bc5b-b7e253c7ccaa-0
00:32:31.400 --> 00:32:35.520
And so from a storytelling perspective,
I guess we need to have a takeaway here.

63d11a5a-523f-40e8-9b2d-af879145d70b-0
00:32:35.520 --> 00:32:36.640
What's the takeaway?

1fc4abb9-8103-4dd3-aed2-5526c337f33f-0
00:32:36.840 --> 00:32:39.845
The takeaway is really for this person
who did the act of kindness,

1fc4abb9-8103-4dd3-aed2-5526c337f33f-1
00:32:39.845 --> 00:32:42.320
not for the character who's the recipient
of that kind.

821e527b-254b-4513-b9fd-10880f3f14e4-0
00:32:42.360 --> 00:32:42.520
Yeah.

3bbcb8ab-6987-4346-b097-baecc9c1d588-0
00:32:42.560 --> 00:32:47.420
But perhaps when we talk about change,
we've got a changed state of being, like,

3bbcb8ab-6987-4346-b097-baecc9c1d588-1
00:32:47.420 --> 00:32:50.360
you know,
that we've gone from stress to calm in

3bbcb8ab-6987-4346-b097-baecc9c1d588-2
00:32:50.360 --> 00:32:51.680
this particular story.

18c66c65-67b0-411c-a620-2fa0705fd085-0
00:32:52.040 --> 00:32:55.200
But what we need is something a little
bit more lingering.

8395615a-f2ea-4293-8f93-a15b55ff1087-0
00:32:55.280 --> 00:32:58.760
And I'm just wondering, like,
if we're just throwing out ideas.

6364b400-f95b-4df1-bbcc-0ff69ba4eaac-0
00:32:58.760 --> 00:33:00.080
I'm not saying this is the answer.

00e17480-4e36-41fa-8f3e-c59b216e0fed-0
00:33:00.080 --> 00:33:02.804
It's just something that's occurred to me
as a,

00e17480-4e36-41fa-8f3e-c59b216e0fed-1
00:33:02.804 --> 00:33:07.572
as a possibility that we've got the setup
here of these other characters who are in

00e17480-4e36-41fa-8f3e-c59b216e0fed-2
00:33:07.572 --> 00:33:12.000
the grocery store who are observing this
and judging and dropping the R word.

7fccc9e2-b502-4fbf-8e24-0795d0b4b1b5-0
00:33:12.360 --> 00:33:13.880
At least it's implied that they do.

b4412225-f76b-41f1-9f62-9910e46e9101-0
00:33:14.240 --> 00:33:17.440
And themselves freaking out and not
knowing what to do.

82958d73-34af-4c8a-b4e5-84e8fcd0f6bc-0
00:33:17.640 --> 00:33:21.046
Is it perhaps them who,
who need to change by the end of the

82958d73-34af-4c8a-b4e5-84e8fcd0f6bc-1
00:33:21.046 --> 00:33:23.560
story,
change their perspective permanently?

62cadfeb-61b4-4849-a082-c8a4d4097229-0
00:33:23.560 --> 00:33:27.986
You know, they've come into this like, oh,
this person here freaking out and like,

62cadfeb-61b4-4849-a082-c8a4d4097229-1
00:33:27.986 --> 00:33:29.160
what's their big deal?

b0e0c26a-18e3-4c25-8a4b-9026f9fc0853-0
00:33:29.160 --> 00:33:31.400
And then maybe they're an addict or
whatever.

53938998-998b-4e8b-8587-845e025ff3da-0
00:33:31.880 --> 00:33:33.800
When did they get their empathy?

f43401a9-9ac0-4a5f-8640-94a860adc04b-0
00:33:33.800 --> 00:33:37.119
And I think that's what this story is,
kind of challenging us to have empathy

f43401a9-9ac0-4a5f-8640-94a860adc04b-1
00:33:37.119 --> 00:33:37.800
for this person.

4388fa2c-4745-4e6d-94c5-20091a55bd8c-0
00:33:37.800 --> 00:33:41.240
That's why we're getting this deep
insight into what their experience is.

5a6dad5a-9a93-4f16-bb9d-3ca00eaf9aa7-0
00:33:41.240 --> 00:33:46.075
So I'm just wondering if we've got this
beautiful experience with the paramedic,

5a6dad5a-9a93-4f16-bb9d-3ca00eaf9aa7-1
00:33:46.075 --> 00:33:50.731
whether there's actually another option
there for someone who is in the scene

5a6dad5a-9a93-4f16-bb9d-3ca00eaf9aa7-2
00:33:50.731 --> 00:33:55.686
already to step up and to realise what's
going on somehow and to form a connection

5a6dad5a-9a93-4f16-bb9d-3ca00eaf9aa7-3
00:33:55.686 --> 00:33:56.880
with this character.

b6e039d1-9f33-4594-9678-b2aef0c05009-0
00:33:57.280 --> 00:34:00.616
Rather than this knight in shining armour
who kind of just turns up,

b6e039d1-9f33-4594-9678-b2aef0c05009-1
00:34:00.616 --> 00:34:01.680
does something lovely.

c51c6539-6de2-4b0a-a50f-656f572b301a-0
00:34:01.680 --> 00:34:04.503
Because they're probably just that kind
of person anyway,

c51c6539-6de2-4b0a-a50f-656f572b301a-1
00:34:04.503 --> 00:34:08.203
and almost certainly have their own
experience of autism or something along

c51c6539-6de2-4b0a-a50f-656f572b301a-2
00:34:08.203 --> 00:34:10.200
those lines with someone in their family.

862e4d3a-c5b7-4df5-b05d-ab39777a59d0-0
00:34:10.200 --> 00:34:12.280
Like that's what I imagine their back
story to be.

060d2ad6-6588-442a-ac7a-7814ecd4bb1e-0
00:34:12.680 --> 00:34:15.240
And then they just go off into the sunset.

5c3424df-b23e-4547-8b6d-f5aa77a7b75d-0
00:34:15.560 --> 00:34:17.918
Well,
why don't we have someone in the scene

5c3424df-b23e-4547-8b6d-f5aa77a7b75d-1
00:34:17.918 --> 00:34:22.320
who goes from dropping the R word to like,
oh, **** Actually, I think I get it now.

72e4a467-7a32-407a-92e5-bb5dc02baf6f-0
00:34:22.320 --> 00:34:24.160
I think you're,
you're really on to something there.

4d270002-a09b-4dea-ad33-5e4a8728efce-0
00:34:24.160 --> 00:34:26.971
And we,
we end in that moment where there's the

4d270002-a09b-4dea-ad33-5e4a8728efce-1
00:34:26.971 --> 00:34:27.440
notepad.

5f900d94-4255-4850-96d1-dbfdeb4a9980-0
00:34:27.760 --> 00:34:30.067
You shake your head,
push the notepad back into my hand,

5f900d94-4255-4850-96d1-dbfdeb4a9980-1
00:34:30.067 --> 00:34:31.120
curl my fingers around it.

b1ae8456-2251-4b2b-85b1-92d15583fba2-0
00:34:31.440 --> 00:34:33.842
Maybe another character could have done
that,

b1ae8456-2251-4b2b-85b1-92d15583fba2-1
00:34:33.842 --> 00:34:37.760
like could have picked up the notepad off
the ground and put in her hands.

00d96fb5-a192-438c-81db-6adca02ab1fc-0
00:34:37.840 --> 00:34:41.918
Yeah, maybe for whatever reason,
with what's going on in their life,

00d96fb5-a192-438c-81db-6adca02ab1fc-1
00:34:41.918 --> 00:34:45.760
they are able to bridge this gap together,
whatever it might be.

4d195522-49ed-4eb1-aa2f-527612d37768-0
00:34:46.040 --> 00:34:48.760
Like I'm just trying to think who this
other character might be.

3d63766f-8011-4a5a-9a08-1425267f18c2-0
00:34:48.760 --> 00:34:53.123
Like maybe it's a young person and they
had the notepad already for whatever

3d63766f-8011-4a5a-9a08-1425267f18c2-1
00:34:53.123 --> 00:34:53.520
reason.

2d336fcf-554d-4801-9868-94a2c283d9dc-0
00:34:53.600 --> 00:34:54.120
I'm not sure.

8d6de01e-62d9-4958-bc91-ce08e8f72e84-0
00:34:54.120 --> 00:34:58.434
We'd have to develop the back story of
that person and why they are able to go

8d6de01e-62d9-4958-bc91-ce08e8f72e84-1
00:34:58.434 --> 00:34:59.800
and make that connection.

a155be78-ec12-43bb-837f-bbeecb732d38-0
00:34:59.800 --> 00:35:04.398
What do they see in this character who's
melting down that maybe reminds them of

a155be78-ec12-43bb-837f-bbeecb732d38-1
00:35:04.398 --> 00:35:08.372
their brother or kid at school or
something like that that makes them

a155be78-ec12-43bb-837f-bbeecb732d38-2
00:35:08.372 --> 00:35:10.360
finally twig as to what's going on?

b752d243-938f-4252-8211-0a4f33025f94-0
00:35:11.000 --> 00:35:12.920
But, you know,
this story did make the long list.

61a6611f-d7b4-4ad0-b425-88bcb7ba92cb-0
00:35:12.920 --> 00:35:14.600
It did have an emotional impact.

31ccfb2d-b397-4952-8f9e-4e70150740d7-0
00:35:14.600 --> 00:35:16.729
And so this is where we're talking about,
you know,

31ccfb2d-b397-4952-8f9e-4e70150740d7-1
00:35:16.729 --> 00:35:19.720
the difference between something making
the long list and the shortlist.

a6d76521-9df0-4762-aa89-dd445f7b83af-0
00:35:19.960 --> 00:35:22.480
It's like, yeah,
you absolutely got our attention.

53943a88-7215-45fa-9960-92d3abbff363-0
00:35:22.480 --> 00:35:23.840
Your writing is beautiful.

5acb38e5-59b5-4dac-8527-a4235085b674-0
00:35:24.160 --> 00:35:25.320
It's structured well.

0ec1a370-64f3-4fd8-a494-e1f8a5fb5c0f-0
00:35:25.640 --> 00:35:27.000
We get a lot out of this.

a5a3e320-6d30-4195-808c-5d244bb030f7-0
00:35:27.000 --> 00:35:30.520
And we are left with a feeling and it's
all working towards that feeling.

2d269081-f826-474b-92ea-10948f39d83e-0
00:35:30.520 --> 00:35:32.720
And so now it just becomes about that
next level.

617de2bc-9003-448e-a1a1-be060ccff5cd-0
00:35:32.720 --> 00:35:35.688
Well,
how do we refine that idea so that it

617de2bc-9003-448e-a1a1-be060ccff5cd-1
00:35:35.688 --> 00:35:40.614
feels like a complete package,
feels satisfying and feels like something

617de2bc-9003-448e-a1a1-be060ccff5cd-2
00:35:40.614 --> 00:35:44.528
where we go, yes,
I can sort of understand and adopt like

617de2bc-9003-448e-a1a1-be060ccff5cd-3
00:35:44.528 --> 00:35:47.160
that message into myself kind of thing.

57017741-fd06-484f-8148-cec953df09bd-0
00:35:47.160 --> 00:35:49.080
And I,
I think that's what's going on here.

5d896894-6f75-4a85-bec2-3a3de888c11e-0
00:35:49.080 --> 00:35:51.880
Now the suggestions we've made,
like that's a different story.

67199787-deb3-442a-b1bf-94a02878f03d-0
00:35:51.880 --> 00:35:55.280
And so as an artist,
like you don't have to go along with that.

afd3e507-f095-4ff7-b391-0e6ecc3aeb24-0
00:35:55.280 --> 00:35:58.160
We're just talking about what might have
made it work from our perspective.

dc224a37-3597-47e0-986c-4c2327d67710-0
00:35:58.160 --> 00:35:58.760
But it did.

63023380-f2dd-4ec0-8009-861967051fb9-0
00:35:59.080 --> 00:36:01.000
It was Elisa's favourite info.

68331db9-e59a-4c1e-910d-da6de65d9201-0
00:36:01.400 --> 00:36:03.680
So you've already done really well.

ae02fc82-9291-4933-87bc-0a2a43a0e309-0
00:36:03.680 --> 00:36:07.880
And I think it's OK to say this story did
what I wanted it to do.

06033e41-5a93-43ab-8fba-c59428ebd0b5-0
00:36:07.880 --> 00:36:08.240
Absolutely.

6a981d9d-b993-4484-a3b0-ba46116589e1-0
00:36:08.240 --> 00:36:08.760
I agree.

1e1a3ea8-5c3d-4cc1-b29b-4bf6c48a7c43-0
00:36:08.760 --> 00:36:10.400
Even if it didn't win this competition.

26538bbb-5ff3-4559-9d04-9b68c1455a22-0
00:36:10.440 --> 00:36:11.760
Yeah, they're different things.

10a8347e-3a76-4a9e-8a67-2bb27d6981ad-0
00:36:11.760 --> 00:36:14.280
So on that level, it's a winner.

952a7e61-8627-4969-9c62-dc7cabf46e3c-0
00:36:14.280 --> 00:36:14.960
Obviously.

5b5f8404-7e35-4f19-8c9c-ec939fad5858-0
00:36:14.960 --> 00:36:19.880
I think people would feel very seen with
this story and I think it's beautiful.

ab030cd7-7743-4efa-b491-d948c3328c9e-0
00:36:19.960 --> 00:36:23.200
So from that perspective,
like no notes really.

ed0da9bb-94cd-4e78-9f3a-27ff3b9ff460-0
00:36:23.240 --> 00:36:25.960
We say this all the time,
it's subjective and so on.

4deb1b0f-927b-43e7-b603-6fb6b577b6b2-0
00:36:26.200 --> 00:36:30.210
If you love this story and if other
people love this story, then great,

4deb1b0f-927b-43e7-b603-6fb6b577b6b2-1
00:36:30.210 --> 00:36:34.388
Go find it a home with the people for
whom it will really resonate already

4deb1b0f-927b-43e7-b603-6fb6b577b6b2-2
00:36:34.388 --> 00:36:35.279
without changes.

51f97682-51af-4b9a-afd5-2c4414fe74e1-0
00:36:35.760 --> 00:36:38.972
So now as we come to the end of our
feedback on this story,

51f97682-51af-4b9a-afd5-2c4414fe74e1-1
00:36:38.972 --> 00:36:42.346
there was one last thing that Chloe
touched on in her message,

51f97682-51af-4b9a-afd5-2c4414fe74e1-2
00:36:42.346 --> 00:36:46.576
which was a question of whether there
were any similar issues in this story as

51f97682-51af-4b9a-afd5-2c4414fe74e1-3
00:36:46.576 --> 00:36:49.040
compared to her previous shortlisted
stories.

c1d20054-bf17-474c-b6b5-43db761e64ec-0
00:36:49.440 --> 00:36:52.040
And I would say, look, no,
I don't think so.

10e4c246-1243-460b-be92-18f22543bad0-0
00:36:52.040 --> 00:36:55.752
And the reason I say that is largely
because I think each story has been very

10e4c246-1243-460b-be92-18f22543bad0-1
00:36:55.752 --> 00:36:56.800
different for a start.

0f35a69b-72d1-4d25-b0b0-b9db229d7da4-0
00:36:57.400 --> 00:37:00.708
And I do think like once you've sort of
mastered writing,

0f35a69b-72d1-4d25-b0b0-b9db229d7da4-1
00:37:00.708 --> 00:37:04.531
and I think you have Chloe very
impressively in a year and a half,

0f35a69b-72d1-4d25-b0b0-b9db229d7da4-2
00:37:04.531 --> 00:37:07.840
then it starts to become about what does
each story need?

5d4bfdf9-1733-41e6-8f2b-8d2884f532f5-0
00:37:08.000 --> 00:37:11.080
And I think each story can need very,
very different things.

83480e95-fba1-45c8-a9be-9a3bd3ee87fb-0
00:37:11.080 --> 00:37:13.702
And, you know, yes,
we've got some of these rules of thumb

83480e95-fba1-45c8-a9be-9a3bd3ee87fb-1
00:37:13.702 --> 00:37:15.880
that are going to be useful almost all
the time.

8b781ab5-8fc3-432b-bc4e-3229e9a0190b-0
00:37:16.440 --> 00:37:18.960
And some of those we mentioned like show,
don't tell and so on.

0a488c36-e8dd-4876-8b10-d2eb8100d04b-0
00:37:19.200 --> 00:37:22.721
However, like you were talking, Ed,
about how we lead into this story,

0a488c36-e8dd-4876-8b10-d2eb8100d04b-1
00:37:22.721 --> 00:37:26.392
we're talking about the emotional
experience here and the way POV is used

0a488c36-e8dd-4876-8b10-d2eb8100d04b-2
00:37:26.392 --> 00:37:30.361
and all of these things that are specific
to this particular story that I don't

0a488c36-e8dd-4876-8b10-d2eb8100d04b-3
00:37:30.361 --> 00:37:34.131
think were relevant in the previous
stories or certainly didn't come to the

0a488c36-e8dd-4876-8b10-d2eb8100d04b-4
00:37:34.131 --> 00:37:35.520
forefront as being relevant.

283eda7d-faa1-4620-a802-3c06cf7490d2-0
00:37:35.520 --> 00:37:39.658
So, you know, I guess as authors,
we want to learn about ourselves and try

283eda7d-faa1-4620-a802-3c06cf7490d2-1
00:37:39.658 --> 00:37:41.480
and fix our problems or whatever.

5e984e9c-766b-4344-bab2-4df79357aaf8-0
00:37:41.480 --> 00:37:45.176
And like, dig down deep and I would say,
look, I don't think you have any problems,

5e984e9c-766b-4344-bab2-4df79357aaf8-1
00:37:45.176 --> 00:37:45.440
Chloe.

f49c751c-aa0f-4d72-9762-e5a99b1d33c4-0
00:37:45.440 --> 00:37:48.320
It's just all comes down to editing and
looking at what the story needs.

7b273c32-3686-4c68-82b7-4cb6981ec2b2-0
00:37:48.560 --> 00:37:51.200
Those three stories were all very
different.

d800bed0-ccf7-4681-919c-f21852fcd61e-0
00:37:51.200 --> 00:37:53.814
Those other two shortlisted stories,
I mean,

d800bed0-ccf7-4681-919c-f21852fcd61e-1
00:37:53.814 --> 00:37:56.080
one to Dead or Alive was a poem almost.

1e8cb249-95d7-4d84-a8fd-9e0228f5b679-0
00:37:56.200 --> 00:37:57.600
It was a poem, Yeah.

c74f2864-4ac8-4580-a692-91d214bd4f9e-0
00:37:57.800 --> 00:38:04.000
In in a very particular voice and with a
very fun kind of out there Western plot.

8ff507d6-b64f-4263-8834-b15e2a560de9-0
00:38:04.000 --> 00:38:06.120
Yeah, very camp kind of story.

533ab319-719b-405e-abd8-966503cb4b48-0
00:38:06.640 --> 00:38:08.280
Very, very different emotionally.

85d799d5-e07d-47a9-8815-e6baf0278b81-0
00:38:08.320 --> 00:38:14.920
And the grief was like a very Australian
story, by contrast, about like desolation.

ac47c40f-17af-417d-bb50-a46be99289c6-0
00:38:14.920 --> 00:38:17.903
And, you know,
both of those really homed in on that

ac47c40f-17af-417d-bb50-a46be99289c6-1
00:38:17.903 --> 00:38:21.000
emotion that they were going for and they
they hit it.

0f9dedca-a4c5-4e3b-85d5-a830c3493bb1-0
00:38:21.360 --> 00:38:24.240
But very different effects for all these
three stories.

d1199429-a402-4fbd-82c8-a731c9c83884-0
00:38:24.280 --> 00:38:24.560
Yeah.

83c0d6b6-4f0a-4ead-a746-1e6434376900-0
00:38:24.560 --> 00:38:28.560
And I guess this one landing on the long
list as opposed to the shortlist.

efdc4657-793d-48a2-a3f6-a9db6a715b48-0
00:38:28.560 --> 00:38:31.700
I mean, we've just,
we've just talked about the reasons why

efdc4657-793d-48a2-a3f6-a9db6a715b48-1
00:38:31.700 --> 00:38:34.265
that might be,
the things that for this one were

efdc4657-793d-48a2-a3f6-a9db6a715b48-2
00:38:34.265 --> 00:38:38.296
challenges that maybe prevented it from
really satisfying us as readers at a

efdc4657-793d-48a2-a3f6-a9db6a715b48-3
00:38:38.296 --> 00:38:40.600
level that would get it onto the
shortlist.

3fdc1511-8d73-48ff-a382-d36c6f778a51-0
00:38:40.600 --> 00:38:42.160
But doesn't mean we didn't like the story.

56c174b2-fc6c-4ea7-884b-ab84e3a6dd55-0
00:38:42.160 --> 00:38:44.560
Doesn't mean we didn't take some
wonderful messages out of it.

4a21ae54-aefa-4456-aeb4-9d2633c434e0-0
00:38:44.720 --> 00:38:46.080
But thanks again, Chloe.

54de6471-6bee-424a-bdcc-9d2d532ca208-0
00:38:46.320 --> 00:38:49.570
We really appreciate your story and
thanks for putting yourself out there and

54de6471-6bee-424a-bdcc-9d2d532ca208-1
00:38:49.570 --> 00:38:50.320
being a Daredevil.

0cad1181-86f3-4c6e-be32-c96c38e92142-0
00:38:50.520 --> 00:38:51.240
Absolutely.

a38e91c5-2725-4c7c-82bb-86963f5e2bc9-0
00:38:51.240 --> 00:38:55.040
I think there are some Chloe fans out
there, and I'm one of them.

40c18a86-ddba-42b0-92a7-ba246c2ad710-0
00:38:56.000 --> 00:38:59.154
I do love your work Chloe,
and I'm so glad to have another chance to

40c18a86-ddba-42b0-92a7-ba246c2ad710-1
00:38:59.154 --> 00:38:59.520
read it.

87ec0f70-a76b-409e-b7bc-26dfb31580b9-0
00:38:59.640 --> 00:39:00.520
So thank you so much.

b851f828-2075-4846-8d83-c20862482095-0
00:39:00.920 --> 00:39:03.939
And this will be past me speaking,
but I'm really,

b851f828-2075-4846-8d83-c20862482095-1
00:39:03.939 --> 00:39:06.840
really looking forward to meeting you
next week.

c36d39a7-da4d-41dd-9c3d-df55ccd01bd3-0
00:39:06.840 --> 00:39:07.280
Same.

a77e5aed-4c51-4162-9582-246a08738d15-0
00:39:07.760 --> 00:39:11.520
That about wraps it up for our first
Daredevil this round.

fb1e2259-7cdc-4d57-8429-68c6e4539b4e-0
00:39:11.520 --> 00:39:15.080
We'll be back in a week's time with our
second Daredevil.

9a2b9c08-de0f-448f-b3f8-e3980d61e381-0
00:39:15.960 --> 00:39:16.400
Can't wait.

c9ca1bad-c779-4b09-be44-92bdb2a48c97-0
00:39:16.680 --> 00:39:19.680
But until then, right on, right on.

8c774582-fbe2-4c6e-9eeb-c19733dc53d8-0
00:39:22.160 --> 00:39:25.520
We hope you enjoyed this special
Daredevil episode of Not Quite Right.

2e7ac993-2893-4d72-a8a7-8cb7a1b5b16f-0
00:39:25.880 --> 00:39:29.698
If you have thoughts on this story,
follow us on social media and join the

2e7ac993-2893-4d72-a8a7-8cb7a1b5b16f-1
00:39:29.698 --> 00:39:30.360
conversation.

1a689f69-3c4d-452d-8b42-6b12d55a0180-0
00:39:30.680 --> 00:39:34.424
And if you'd like to participate in the
next round of the competition,

1a689f69-3c4d-452d-8b42-6b12d55a0180-1
00:39:34.424 --> 00:39:36.640
head over to ourwebsite@notquiteright.com.

b7e028de-4913-4dea-ade1-36f18eab25ce-0
00:39:37.000 --> 00:39:43.640
That's WRITE something doesn't seem quite
right.