WEBVTT

9c070203-0718-48db-b0f3-9f99f83c3198-0
00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:04.303
The following is a special presentation
of the Not Quite Right Podcast,

9c070203-0718-48db-b0f3-9f99f83c3198-1
00:00:04.303 --> 00:00:08.850
in which we discuss in detail entries to
our ****** flash fiction competition,

9c070203-0718-48db-b0f3-9f99f83c3198-2
00:00:08.850 --> 00:00:11.440
the Not Quite Right Prize for Flesh
Fiction.

0ec9e81d-93ae-4777-a0f4-fbfdd0f6fa58-0
00:00:11.600 --> 00:00:16.020
This episode contains adult themes and is
not appropriate for listeners under the

0ec9e81d-93ae-4777-a0f4-fbfdd0f6fa58-1
00:00:16.020 --> 00:00:16.560
age of 18.

95b84ce0-97b4-40a8-a7bb-30a7eb35f6b6-0
00:00:17.120 --> 00:00:20.680
And mum, if you're still listening,
that's on you.

971221dc-99f4-4c92-ac46-9a386be1ba4b-0
00:00:34.440 --> 00:00:36.040
Something doesn't seem quite right.

b1a860a5-8d14-4b38-b199-96e5243f30bb-0
00:00:37.720 --> 00:00:38.640
Well, hello.

04835646-d81b-4d31-8f68-09774db69603-0
00:00:39.200 --> 00:00:45.434
Hi, my name's Ed and I'm Amanda,
and welcome back to another not quite

04835646-d81b-4d31-8f68-09774db69603-1
00:00:45.434 --> 00:00:46.840
right baredevil.

9ddc7115-5488-45b1-a565-e2fe369bb7a1-0
00:00:47.840 --> 00:00:53.117
So baredevils are people who have signed
up for the honour and privilege of having

9ddc7115-5488-45b1-a565-e2fe369bb7a1-1
00:00:53.117 --> 00:00:55.280
their sexy story hammered, rammed.

3899900a-9561-4b61-945f-5053490d7fe1-0
00:00:55.680 --> 00:00:59.480
Whatever verb you choose,
someone's getting ****** tonight.

810cb233-fb22-479f-a5f2-288d480a4676-0
00:01:00.360 --> 00:01:01.240
It's our baredevil.

395e0771-1d26-47fe-a93c-bc2230721928-0
00:01:01.960 --> 00:01:02.800
Or it's us.

5ed67beb-336c-4682-a2ea-eae8aecf2d15-0
00:01:03.200 --> 00:01:04.720
Yeah, there's a lot like that.

1f103506-aea6-42c6-912b-02c7cda8e5c1-0
00:01:04.920 --> 00:01:05.160
You.

c736e02f-5d16-421f-b57d-a287dfbc15a9-0
00:01:05.160 --> 00:01:05.840
This time, me.

93313d0c-8679-41f3-bf88-805e41418a46-0
00:01:05.840 --> 00:01:08.800
This time it is my turn to read this
story.

9ff2b516-cd14-421b-b4e9-1b9f5fda80ed-0
00:01:09.360 --> 00:01:10.920
But look, we will read the story.

355a8767-9c51-4fb3-b532-18af348953e8-0
00:01:10.920 --> 00:01:12.240
We will talk about the story.

5c003f54-c5eb-47bc-b323-f71d9c076bdf-0
00:01:12.240 --> 00:01:16.881
We'll share our thoughts and feelings and
opinions and hopefully we will all learn

5c003f54-c5eb-47bc-b323-f71d9c076bdf-1
00:01:16.881 --> 00:01:18.280
something in the process.

09eaf0fc-6890-419f-a81c-fa64ecbb2230-0
00:01:18.720 --> 00:01:21.560
Maybe we'll all feel something in the
process too.

3b8923d6-b17c-4cb2-85a5-92d37117ebae-0
00:01:22.080 --> 00:01:23.440
Something hard.

9f7f3efd-972e-4356-a260-8e78de13099f-0
00:01:26.680 --> 00:01:27.360
I'm struggling.

dd087ced-96ad-4374-b49f-45984157640b-0
00:01:27.360 --> 00:01:29.360
Look, we've we've had some drinks.

11dcd6f3-66cb-4b20-abc6-bcc6a6a975b9-0
00:01:29.480 --> 00:01:31.797
Yeah,
we've we've recorded one Bare Devil and

11dcd6f3-66cb-4b20-abc6-bcc6a6a975b9-1
00:01:31.797 --> 00:01:33.360
we've loosened up a little bit.

c5b4a9a9-f002-4d19-b778-9c6bd3f469c9-0
00:01:33.520 --> 00:01:34.120
A little bit.

a6ff66e0-5092-4ee5-86b6-fcb08329bb00-0
00:01:34.320 --> 00:01:35.360
Possibly too much.

e0b2e2b4-4666-40fc-8b73-16348c5d287f-0
00:01:35.360 --> 00:01:36.840
You might Hopefully not too much.

7b4e9540-5b43-4ef5-b00d-2f7d822584c3-0
00:01:37.000 --> 00:01:38.960
That line is a really thin line.

e0e5b8f2-1b4f-43a6-822e-f92a849ba0ab-0
00:01:38.960 --> 00:01:39.480
It is.

d43d7b52-af10-4bf5-acba-523b23ce333e-0
00:01:39.480 --> 00:01:40.520
I've I've noticed.

8314bd26-d02d-400a-83db-39a0d27667e4-0
00:01:40.880 --> 00:01:42.040
And what have you done about it?

55f80639-4113-496b-90f3-9997d14c96dc-0
00:01:43.880 --> 00:01:45.200
Is this a intervention?

941d3090-0c51-40f1-978c-0b2934820912-0
00:01:45.200 --> 00:01:50.277
Is this like an accusation we should
think about maybe introducing our bare

941d3090-0c51-40f1-978c-0b2934820912-1
00:01:50.277 --> 00:01:51.480
devil, you reckon?

11183595-f51b-42f0-855e-5c42e999b271-0
00:01:51.720 --> 00:01:51.960
OK.

4483eabe-f8ad-405d-9187-3ec6b56d0923-0
00:01:52.280 --> 00:01:58.280
And our bare devil today is Zara Eloise
Row, who is a regular comp entrant.

d57bd1d3-3646-4d1a-920f-3c09b90d5e74-0
00:01:58.400 --> 00:02:03.840
And hi Zara and 1st timer from a bear
slash dare devil perspective.

b78f09a5-eec9-4148-aa89-3c903a6431ef-0
00:02:03.880 --> 00:02:07.360
So as we like to say, get out your Lube.

b2a016d4-be41-455d-9e89-9e26c20d68ed-0
00:02:07.360 --> 00:02:10.955
And it's especially as you like to say,
as I like to say,

b2a016d4-be41-455d-9e89-9e26c20d68ed-1
00:02:10.955 --> 00:02:15.418
it's a verbal ticket this time,
but especially for this episode because

b2a016d4-be41-455d-9e89-9e26c20d68ed-2
00:02:15.418 --> 00:02:17.960
we are delving deep into this sexy story.

77c5a976-597e-4b5b-b2cb-f9600b133f2b-0
00:02:17.960 --> 00:02:21.790
And when you delve deep,
you need some Louvre, some Louvre,

77c5a976-597e-4b5b-b2cb-f9600b133f2b-1
00:02:21.790 --> 00:02:24.280
you need some Lube when you delve deep.

0e745069-6160-48ef-85f7-b22d1de33433-0
00:02:24.360 --> 00:02:25.200
That's what I like to say.

f1fbcb6a-abd8-431a-bc7d-e82ebf037dbe-0
00:02:25.200 --> 00:02:26.480
It's what my mum always told me.

cc12cc5a-e1ff-4ea7-a008-29696d5c51cc-0
00:02:27.320 --> 00:02:30.064
So Zara,
hopefully you've got your Lube and your

cc12cc5a-e1ff-4ea7-a008-29696d5c51cc-1
00:02:30.064 --> 00:02:32.080
wine prerequisites for a Bare Devil.

045d795e-020a-4f0a-9dc2-a387337735b8-0
00:02:32.080 --> 00:02:34.181
We've got our look,
no comment on the loop,

045d795e-020a-4f0a-9dc2-a387337735b8-1
00:02:34.181 --> 00:02:35.280
but we've got our wine.

212106df-0de5-45ad-b0c1-d24480995681-0
00:02:35.520 --> 00:02:38.960
So that's can I make a comment on the
loop And you make there isn't any.

d895069b-5465-4c1c-96e9-dd0aa07d2c49-0
00:02:40.840 --> 00:02:41.760
Let's be clear about that.

23d22626-2666-46c3-b86f-873573682666-0
00:02:42.800 --> 00:02:46.086
So as we said on our various flesh
fiction episodes,

23d22626-2666-46c3-b86f-873573682666-1
00:02:46.086 --> 00:02:49.000
it's a bit of a plant theme for flesh
fiction.

64e58cb6-1c26-4ff5-a6d8-d54680db5d0a-0
00:02:49.000 --> 00:02:52.258
And we're not sure if it came from,
you know,

64e58cb6-1c26-4ff5-a6d8-d54680db5d0a-1
00:02:52.258 --> 00:02:57.430
it could be either a response to our make
the unsexy irresistible theme,

64e58cb6-1c26-4ff5-a6d8-d54680db5d0a-2
00:02:57.430 --> 00:03:03.380
or perhaps there is a latent plant fetish
that maybe is undiagnosed at large in the

64e58cb6-1c26-4ff5-a6d8-d54680db5d0a-3
00:03:03.380 --> 00:03:04.160
population.

bcbd829e-d375-484e-9639-36e942e91a85-0
00:03:04.160 --> 00:03:07.760
You say undiagnosed, but I, you know this,
you're thinking about autumn bettinger

bcbd829e-d375-484e-9639-36e942e91a85-1
00:03:07.760 --> 00:03:08.200
right now.

6579e848-b4e4-4a34-8149-9e1bcfb1e466-0
00:03:08.200 --> 00:03:10.480
Well, I mean, I wasn't, but now I am.

1fdecb8a-9b39-4d17-84e6-7315b0deb7e4-0
00:03:10.760 --> 00:03:11.760
I was thinking about myself.

9ae23181-f232-411b-8602-c12ca486c302-0
00:03:11.760 --> 00:03:12.720
I I love a plant.

bca59b49-bb77-43a5-b21d-597601d250a5-0
00:03:13.120 --> 00:03:13.480
Yeah.

d9acc436-55b3-41e9-84a0-8f031003eb87-0
00:03:13.800 --> 00:03:14.640
In that way, though.

841c6251-c924-472c-9fd9-a650f873768d-0
00:03:14.720 --> 00:03:16.960
Well, what do they say when once you hit.

d29118f7-f8e5-4ccf-a972-3c2a9ced8cfb-0
00:03:16.960 --> 00:03:18.080
I don't know what age it is.

847530a1-bfa2-4ea6-9b2c-36541760f26f-0
00:03:18.080 --> 00:03:21.401
I think people say 35 like you've gotta
either run a marathon,

847530a1-bfa2-4ea6-9b2c-36541760f26f-1
00:03:21.401 --> 00:03:23.880
start bird watching or get really into
plants.

419a9e69-4948-4c23-b367-a1aa13668838-0
00:03:23.880 --> 00:03:25.680
Yeah, like that's your options in life.

000cfda5-baa3-4dfc-bb67-0f7e54e24a22-0
00:03:26.120 --> 00:03:26.240
Yeah.

aff45ff8-7992-4232-b645-613c8be7184a-0
00:03:26.240 --> 00:03:27.320
And I went with plants.

bfd4d617-6b45-4ecd-8e8c-3185f9732407-0
00:03:27.400 --> 00:03:29.920
OK, let's not diagnose Amanda.

bc257a4f-0809-439b-a594-f3990deeca64-0
00:03:29.920 --> 00:03:30.720
No, let's not.

ab727f6f-57c1-456e-be7d-9f074142b614-0
00:03:30.760 --> 00:03:31.520
It's not about you.

27141271-9253-41bf-8c11-b602c57a9041-0
00:03:31.520 --> 00:03:33.760
It's it's about Zara Eloise Row.

3853dde3-8a4b-44aa-b67c-ad343a5ebdd3-0
00:03:34.000 --> 00:03:38.590
And it's worth highlighting here that
this story was third place in the IT was

3853dde3-8a4b-44aa-b67c-ad343a5ebdd3-1
00:03:38.590 --> 00:03:41.960
how many category has been called out now
Podium episode.

a7a0cc22-ec5b-48c6-956a-0ddd068d6204-0
00:03:41.960 --> 00:03:42.560
Mm, hmm.

ad11a25b-9478-42e3-920d-014a782d723e-0
00:03:42.840 --> 00:03:43.720
Didn't get rich.

4deed47a-17bd-40ad-862e-80b27f624b75-0
00:03:43.840 --> 00:03:43.960
I'm.

8c72534d-6180-410f-91ab-c74f36722392-0
00:03:44.000 --> 00:03:46.282
So I'm very excited to hear it now,
you know,

8c72534d-6180-410f-91ab-c74f36722392-1
00:03:46.282 --> 00:03:47.920
sometimes we get really critical.

6140912b-de57-4035-8559-6217a79830df-0
00:03:47.920 --> 00:03:49.400
Or maybe they didn't make the cut.

721a26ea-675d-468d-b1ce-7d0419106037-0
00:03:49.400 --> 00:03:50.520
This one made the cut.

3dc9fd63-98f2-45ca-8c67-3252469e04f3-0
00:03:50.640 --> 00:03:54.404
So we're going to have to try extra hard
to find extra hard,

3dc9fd63-98f2-45ca-8c67-3252469e04f3-1
00:03:54.404 --> 00:03:57.120
challenging things to say about this
story.

05c2137c-039c-4469-a315-b27d592a9584-0
00:03:57.160 --> 00:03:58.880
I'm sure we will find some.

b92bf972-79fe-4870-9004-dfebe3518d90-0
00:03:59.160 --> 00:04:01.280
And on that note,
why don't we just read out the story?

fd2708e7-3088-499c-8840-e892196c622d-0
00:04:01.440 --> 00:04:02.040
I'll read it.

3bdd1f7f-9ab5-40a3-b164-6183a8ca827c-0
00:04:02.200 --> 00:04:02.480
Yeah.

6483ca5a-63ad-4e07-9de6-a7d0a7923144-0
00:04:02.480 --> 00:04:03.280
Why don't I do it?

c064d2e6-6baa-4949-bf45-c56f31db4a9a-0
00:04:03.320 --> 00:04:04.720
Please give you a break.

d2561739-8555-4ea7-996f-034fcddc1ddc-0
00:04:05.480 --> 00:04:10.264
Well,
here is Plant Daddy Dave by Zara Eloise

d2561739-8555-4ea7-996f-034fcddc1ddc-1
00:04:10.264 --> 00:04:10.680
Row.

631cecf3-a7c0-417f-88e9-3b12561cd150-0
00:04:17.480 --> 00:04:18.640
Meet Dave.

27e99a9d-82fb-4423-bb91-1b6d7aec5ce2-0
00:04:19.840 --> 00:04:25.582
It's a drizzling Monday and he's taking
the day off because, well,

27e99a9d-82fb-4423-bb91-1b6d7aec5ce2-1
00:04:25.582 --> 00:04:27.040
why the **** not?

fe91db0a-2fc8-411f-b8db-9086911369f5-0
00:04:27.960 --> 00:04:32.301
If he's going to be a cog in the
corporate machine until he's decrepit,

fe91db0a-2fc8-411f-b8db-9086911369f5-1
00:04:32.301 --> 00:04:36.040
the least he's owed is his meagre
allowance of paid days off.

33f53f5e-769c-4bae-8c99-c4144b78d74c-0
00:04:38.400 --> 00:04:43.854
He pumps his morning wood with speed,
fist the whacking against his hairless

33f53f5e-769c-4bae-8c99-c4144b78d74c-1
00:04:43.854 --> 00:04:44.280
pubis.

d568f691-1d4d-4b5f-aabe-462dffdb7b80-0
00:04:45.200 --> 00:04:50.440
He forgoes the Lube beside his bed and
doesn't bother edging or gooning.

1080e8ca-eb62-41b0-b3c4-20483cf9af3e-0
00:04:51.000 --> 00:04:54.120
This ***** as perfunctory as brushing his
teeth.

f4f400f0-a9ab-4ac7-a2b0-0460254d7ef5-0
00:04:55.600 --> 00:05:03.811
Before long he tenses with the rigour of
an orgasm which he catches in his palm

f4f400f0-a9ab-4ac7-a2b0-0460254d7ef5-1
00:05:03.811 --> 00:05:06.480
and spreads over his ****.

4e0f10c1-2d64-4580-9c17-8301a3baece0-0
00:05:07.520 --> 00:05:13.347
His prized monument shrinks to its
cornerstone and he rolls out of bed to

4e0f10c1-2d64-4580-9c17-8301a3baece0-1
00:05:13.347 --> 00:05:17.285
shower,
revelling in his stress free start to the

4e0f10c1-2d64-4580-9c17-8301a3baece0-2
00:05:17.285 --> 00:05:17.600
day.

a5fabe6d-66bb-4b6b-ad02-68d222bc3669-0
00:05:19.520 --> 00:05:25.040
Dave decided long ago he'd never settled
down like his simping mates.

af109496-19f2-4b95-b174-0bde4c57e6b3-0
00:05:25.720 --> 00:05:30.709
He feels vindicated whenever they
complain about controlling wives or gold

af109496-19f2-4b95-b174-0bde4c57e6b3-1
00:05:30.709 --> 00:05:32.040
digging girlfriends.

103c8fa3-319d-423a-8d93-4ecb21d431d0-0
00:05:32.680 --> 00:05:37.840
The only time Dave likes women is when
he's ******* them,

103c8fa3-319d-423a-8d93-4ecb21d431d0-1
00:05:37.840 --> 00:05:43.000
and he only ***** women he can DND,
dominate and discard.

4d0ef4e3-740f-423d-a0a2-5264ab9846f0-0
00:05:45.320 --> 00:05:50.551
Dave emerges from his bathroom in
dressing gown and Yeti slippers,

4d0ef4e3-740f-423d-a0a2-5264ab9846f0-1
00:05:50.551 --> 00:05:53.440
sniffs some coke and pads downstairs.

8a171b5f-b5bb-46fe-a5fe-6cba818ea6ee-0
00:05:54.920 --> 00:05:58.737
The curtains are drawn in his living room,
but he doesn't worry about being

8a171b5f-b5bb-46fe-a5fe-6cba818ea6ee-1
00:05:58.737 --> 00:05:59.240
disturbed.

f6725e02-b631-4ffe-807a-15f2d29fade0-0
00:05:59.920 --> 00:06:04.821
His suburban neighbours don't bother him
because he doesn't indulge small talk or

f6725e02-b631-4ffe-807a-15f2d29fade0-1
00:06:04.821 --> 00:06:05.240
gossip.

f3620c20-5eb4-4dfd-aca4-17420e979041-0
00:06:07.080 --> 00:06:10.920
He lights a spliff,
puts Wes Anderson's Fantastic Mr.

a64f418d-8df3-4b7f-881a-f3a9935de296-0
00:06:10.920 --> 00:06:15.240
Fox on his wired screen,
then sinks into his couch.

adc5fba6-1ea9-4c21-9594-5650b125f5a5-0
00:06:17.480 --> 00:06:22.714
On his coffee table is the star of
today's show,

adc5fba6-1ea9-4c21-9594-5650b125f5a5-1
00:06:22.714 --> 00:06:25.920
a tiny paper square with a :).

70d08efe-477c-4349-b3c5-921e88621c3d-0
00:06:27.480 --> 00:06:33.067
He ignores his dealer's advice to not try
acid alone his first time,

70d08efe-477c-4349-b3c5-921e88621c3d-1
00:06:33.067 --> 00:06:37.440
and to emphatically avoid mixing it with
other drugs.

18931843-388e-4d9d-a78e-f727ca5ba87f-0
00:06:38.560 --> 00:06:41.280
This tiny square won't conquer him.

e289520c-b554-4c93-8fb4-8f05d5fc2911-0
00:06:42.120 --> 00:06:44.080
A real alpha male.

c38beb83-4886-496f-bd27-8c0f2fab5a5d-0
00:06:44.960 --> 00:06:48.040
He places it under his tongue and waits.

44accae5-7ee0-4a52-97bb-f86f369e487d-0
00:06:59.400 --> 00:07:06.365
The first thing Dave notices is the
dragon coiled on a horde of laundry

44accae5-7ee0-4a52-97bb-f86f369e487d-1
00:07:06.365 --> 00:07:13.911
treasure in The Cave under his stairs,
snoring in time with gentle waves from

44accae5-7ee0-4a52-97bb-f86f369e487d-2
00:07:13.911 --> 00:07:21.360
the Persian rug sea in the hallway,
he watches with quiet appreciation until

44accae5-7ee0-4a52-97bb-f86f369e487d-3
00:07:21.360 --> 00:07:24.360
the room plunges Into Darkness.

b4c6aac8-b165-48bb-ab65-59547b9f1a94-0
00:07:38.800 --> 00:07:42.080
The film's finished, and Dave's bereft.

ba70c740-0b63-466f-adda-99a0c045b906-0
00:07:43.280 --> 00:07:48.777
He's seen it a million times,
but today it's like the characters have

ba70c740-0b63-466f-adda-99a0c045b906-1
00:07:48.777 --> 00:07:51.840
abandoned him for an underground party.

6d660743-c989-4a2c-864d-eb63cfbea4e4-0
00:07:52.200 --> 00:07:55.480
He's not invited to come back.

1bd47476-770a-4391-a016-c889d9203a25-0
00:07:57.320 --> 00:08:00.120
He shouts, kicking the table.

bd3349a6-a2ca-49eb-831c-dd44b80a1a7d-0
00:08:01.040 --> 00:08:05.594
His outburst wakes the dragon,
whose discontent rumbles from The Cave

bd3349a6-a2ca-49eb-831c-dd44b80a1a7d-1
00:08:05.594 --> 00:08:06.440
like Thunder.

0d70bdda-e5cb-4229-8ca6-1dc371583f15-0
00:08:07.240 --> 00:08:10.120
Knock it off, you petulant little prick.

3213c51f-0c09-48a2-a90d-3cdc86384e8b-0
00:08:11.360 --> 00:08:14.400
Dave pouts, shamed by the beast.

134b7179-5edc-4c39-b459-33bbe80b25a2-0
00:08:15.720 --> 00:08:18.280
You're being rude to your guests.

0f8494e2-91eb-4027-841e-5faf89099cc6-0
00:08:19.080 --> 00:08:20.560
My guests?

bc5386ec-67ac-4624-b89f-b0d372af28db-0
00:08:21.760 --> 00:08:25.560
Dave looks around, surprise.

a533b4cd-0d50-4843-876e-a71b09abb21d-0
00:08:30.960 --> 00:08:34.960
The room's packed with people cheering
for him, their honoured host.

8d4cf56d-06b4-4976-9e6c-28e86ff4b169-0
00:08:35.480 --> 00:08:37.040
His heart swells.

dd566b9f-3860-4927-a47e-bb5e50224a68-0
00:08:37.600 --> 00:08:39.480
Nobody's ever thrown him a party.

daf02462-00ea-4cb3-8cf6-4b961e5c028c-0
00:08:40.400 --> 00:08:46.560
Alexa, play disco biscuits, he says,
clapping the mood lights on.

5ccaca2c-de42-48b3-b1d5-eb31c859f1a6-0
00:08:48.760 --> 00:08:52.834
The syncopated beat of Sheikh's Le Freak
shimmies inside him,

5ccaca2c-de42-48b3-b1d5-eb31c859f1a6-1
00:08:52.834 --> 00:08:54.280
and he works the room.

2aab7feb-737c-4c6c-a3b3-7308142b08a8-0
00:08:55.200 --> 00:08:59.967
He does lines with bearskin and the yetis,
then referees a dance off between the

2aab7feb-737c-4c6c-a3b3-7308142b08a8-1
00:08:59.967 --> 00:09:02.440
William Morris birds and the Brass Monkey.

e0a4eae7-e461-4268-b4cf-83bc20424c25-0
00:09:02.440 --> 00:09:12.120
Mafia nymphs lure him to the ethereal
portal of his framed Waterhouse.

fc4e8e77-d4cf-421d-9530-93a16a521990-0
00:09:12.880 --> 00:09:17.724
He longs to be weightless in their waters,
to become their Hylas,

fc4e8e77-d4cf-421d-9530-93a16a521990-1
00:09:17.724 --> 00:09:20.440
nestled in their soft, round breasts.

21b37070-6877-4531-94fe-82e03e24ed3e-0
00:09:21.600 --> 00:09:33.880
But the portal won't let him in,
**** he needs to touch to be touched.

152f4b76-6630-4a9e-ac9f-d82e1970c20e-0
00:09:34.760 --> 00:09:40.040
Even his hand weren't satisfied this
***** euphoria.

e0c88b93-380b-46ac-919c-457bdda03d1e-0
00:09:42.960 --> 00:09:50.533
Then he spots her,
a willowy naiad with viny tresses,

e0c88b93-380b-46ac-919c-457bdda03d1e-1
00:09:50.533 --> 00:09:54.040
long legs covered in mud.

6aa8c077-61b8-4b61-8245-9be83627dc4b-0
00:09:55.080 --> 00:09:59.830
Dave's a moth to a flame,
and the closer he gets,

6aa8c077-61b8-4b61-8245-9be83627dc4b-1
00:09:59.830 --> 00:10:06.480
he sees it's not mud coating the naiad's
legs, it's melted chocolate.

d277a9b2-b652-4357-baa3-33cb69c3f45b-0
00:10:07.760 --> 00:10:15.120
He pictures spreading it over his body,
her licking it off.

c3b447e0-03a8-4754-9c5b-acd4be7398ff-0
00:10:16.560 --> 00:10:21.648
Oh, Fern's getting lucky,
and the Venetian masks titter from the

c3b447e0-03a8-4754-9c5b-acd4be7398ff-1
00:10:21.648 --> 00:10:22.040
wall.

0b5f5d3a-73e8-49e1-b2d4-5135ddf403d1-0
00:10:22.960 --> 00:10:26.880
Dave ignores them,
but he's glad to have the naiad's name.

9d1ba08e-194e-4aea-a3b9-ae85bb6a9726-0
00:10:28.440 --> 00:10:30.040
Hey, Fern.

8d519e40-4f38-42cf-8890-9c2b19e1e574-0
00:10:31.040 --> 00:10:34.240
He plays a cool,
runs a hand through his hair.

696ef41c-84f0-43f2-9924-f61d7b03ad90-0
00:10:35.400 --> 00:10:36.680
What a dance.

f903f547-7a70-4900-871b-e92f0f995142-0
00:10:37.840 --> 00:10:39.520
She pulls him close.

cfc68b8e-c187-4a24-a3f2-e786a5d160b3-0
00:10:40.280 --> 00:10:41.840
I thought you'd never ask.

9127a5ab-b119-4e14-955d-776f9941188e-0
00:10:43.600 --> 00:10:49.345
Her Petrichor perfume wafts over him,
and Dave grinds against her,

9127a5ab-b119-4e14-955d-776f9941188e-1
00:10:49.345 --> 00:10:55.520
pushed into sensory overload when her
limbs multiply and roam his body.

439f2f73-5a48-404e-8c2e-53b6db42a420-0
00:10:56.880 --> 00:10:58.400
I want you, Fern.

4a3f8edb-f96b-4e5e-9a11-1940bdf75d22-0
00:10:58.720 --> 00:11:00.640
He growls, feral.

ca785fc4-7463-48d0-9e91-a489dfd39969-0
00:11:01.280 --> 00:11:05.840
I want you to ride my face until you
squirt in my mouth,

ca785fc4-7463-48d0-9e91-a489dfd39969-1
00:11:05.840 --> 00:11:08.160
then beg me to **** you hard.

f0db6554-4cd8-4d96-8876-eaa1e6441b4d-0
00:11:08.880 --> 00:11:12.720
Fern grabs his chin,
establishing dominance.

ba4aeb3f-4d85-42ab-a094-15cedc9a933b-0
00:11:13.600 --> 00:11:17.320
You're a filthy little plant Daddy,
aren't you?

b2875f0b-09ef-4533-946a-97e2975858cb-0
00:11:18.480 --> 00:11:21.080
Dave surrenders immediately.

e5e1f2da-3cd5-426b-9bbf-a10e5d105c97-0
00:11:23.240 --> 00:11:27.560
I'm a filthy little plant daddy,
here to please you.

ad4a9c7c-f590-450a-8c8f-bd4c19daa436-0
00:11:30.320 --> 00:11:35.520
Fern flicks her tongue inside his ear,
sending shivers down his spine.

f1b976f8-6a01-438b-a1c0-2bb11e4b885c-0
00:11:36.520 --> 00:11:37.840
Dave groans.

78c79a65-d438-42ce-8420-c40c5f963c74-0
00:11:38.480 --> 00:11:44.920
Oh no woman has ever brought him so close
with so little foreplay.

5b93d0c5-7540-46e9-b80c-3593fd7b1aac-0
00:11:46.320 --> 00:11:46.720
Pathetic.

9b3558bc-7e4f-4e0f-af65-9e44e8a073c1-0
00:11:47.280 --> 00:11:49.160
She pushes him away laughing.

0ab9e5bf-4377-4dd2-b29f-cdbfc4f78a1a-0
00:11:49.600 --> 00:11:54.797
Now get on the floor,
show everyone how desperate you are to

0ab9e5bf-4377-4dd2-b29f-cdbfc4f78a1a-1
00:11:54.797 --> 00:11:58.120
please me, Dave Neals eager to worship.

def3eb28-0f8a-4668-a96f-dac8f8bdabe4-0
00:11:58.640 --> 00:12:06.329
He kisses Ferns feet, works tender,
bites up her chocolate coated legs,

def3eb28-0f8a-4668-a96f-dac8f8bdabe4-1
00:12:06.329 --> 00:12:09.000
finds her warm wet *****.

4f8158b2-7fbf-4a6c-bf09-a4c633171bad-0
00:12:09.600 --> 00:12:16.640
Ferns prickly ***** chafe against his
skin, but he buries his face inside her.

ca4fb0d6-6735-4032-a0e9-4ccf4621f96f-0
00:12:17.160 --> 00:12:22.040
Knowing his humiliation is being
witnessed only makes him harder.

f4f7cf3f-d2c1-4a99-bb7b-9ab35832b9fb-0
00:12:22.840 --> 00:12:28.480
He reaches for his straining **** but
Fern whips his hand away.

34f966cf-5fc6-4b08-97b4-b00fa7e556dc-0
00:12:29.080 --> 00:12:33.320
No touching yourself unless I say,
she says.

02d73ad0-b64f-4e45-b21b-a745477c985e-0
00:12:33.960 --> 00:12:37.480
Stand up, you need to be punished.

ee692af2-61ba-407b-b6d2-f06acf256598-0
00:12:38.840 --> 00:12:42.648
Dave obeys,
wondering how long he can hold out

ee692af2-61ba-407b-b6d2-f06acf256598-1
00:12:42.648 --> 00:12:45.080
against this exquisite edging.

ddc31130-340e-4c46-bebd-92aca30758a4-0
00:12:46.360 --> 00:12:51.120
Get naked, then bend over table legs.

e1b31f5a-68dc-4675-bf34-966ddf4d133b-0
00:12:51.880 --> 00:12:56.479
OpenTable beckons Dave,
who feels a tinge of insecurity in his

e1b31f5a-68dc-4675-bf34-966ddf4d133b-1
00:12:56.479 --> 00:12:57.720
buff Chrome body.

9601e66e-c54c-4a4e-bc73-ee367011a1e4-0
00:12:58.520 --> 00:13:02.120
He strips down and assumes the position.

a7ce8508-3a34-49db-8e37-2aaf02ba1fd3-0
00:13:03.000 --> 00:13:09.160
Prince's sex shooter starts and Fern's
hips sway the funky beat.

2af92bac-ad6e-46d7-bfc0-5d29b066047a-0
00:13:09.960 --> 00:13:15.248
She leaves Dave waiting,
spread eagle until his legs begin to

2af92bac-ad6e-46d7-bfc0-5d29b066047a-1
00:13:15.248 --> 00:13:15.760
shake.

d1040210-0000-4e69-88c7-d88168e74040-0
00:13:16.880 --> 00:13:17.840
Crack.

441c9484-9dd7-489b-a6fc-7e825e9fb63a-0
00:13:18.440 --> 00:13:19.720
Tell me the rule.

bed01d89-3ee6-4331-a6a0-22d9857543f9-0
00:13:20.000 --> 00:13:20.760
Crack.

cba959dd-b101-4038-8b57-5a2317305069-0
00:13:21.600 --> 00:13:25.960
Dave's **** twitches with each stinging
slap against his ***.

c9c04301-4dda-43be-a93a-9d69a93f659e-0
00:13:26.680 --> 00:13:32.000
No touching unless you say.

2efbf7d2-9672-4929-8a2d-b0cb27576505-0
00:13:35.320 --> 00:13:40.880
The whips turn to caresses and Dave humps
table pining for some relief.

63ccf9c7-d9e4-4029-9023-ce847d924704-0
00:13:41.720 --> 00:13:44.160
Looks like Daddy hasn't learned.

8fdbe96a-8a11-42b5-bf8b-168d6f30ccf9-0
00:13:44.960 --> 00:13:48.880
Who thinks I should punish his *******?

7ea9864f-cdeb-4ca4-b0b8-3a0f54d6935c-0
00:13:50.120 --> 00:13:53.040
The revellers holler their agreement.

ac40843e-acd2-4753-bdfc-80e07bc1924e-0
00:13:54.000 --> 00:13:56.880
Do you want me inside you, Daddy?

512fb25b-da1e-4d91-a35f-432873a472fe-0
00:13:57.920 --> 00:13:59.960
Yes, fill my ***.

2dfcc5a3-3794-47e8-ac26-e6c3d9b11591-0
00:14:00.200 --> 00:14:03.440
Dave cries, inhibitions fully lowered.

d6427473-bd71-4226-b390-64d073cf361e-0
00:14:04.480 --> 00:14:09.120
Fern probes her Bony finger into his
puckering sphincter.

48d87853-b244-4ce9-84ef-c4095cbb272c-0
00:14:10.000 --> 00:14:11.840
Oh, deeper.

8a7cd65a-de65-4892-82ac-c53778d22ff0-0
00:14:12.240 --> 00:14:14.760
Oh **** this feels good.

ef7d9938-7099-43bf-9841-3984f8cfd7de-0
00:14:15.760 --> 00:14:20.480
What a greedy little *** taking my whole
finger.

52dc3222-d9ac-4b5e-871a-fd17c7eddca3-0
00:14:21.200 --> 00:14:24.920
Dave gasps as Fern hits his * ****.

4562a6dc-0ca0-4910-b3d4-c3246057e233-0
00:14:25.680 --> 00:14:27.520
Please can I come?

2976a956-8ba3-4146-9a02-1a7aa1a878c9-0
00:14:27.800 --> 00:14:31.200
He begs, ******* Table,
who bucks under him,

2976a956-8ba3-4146-9a02-1a7aa1a878c9-1
00:14:31.200 --> 00:14:33.240
scraping against the floor.

1e1c61f9-4b72-4073-a3b4-9b5a026078ba-0
00:14:34.080 --> 00:14:35.160
Come for me.

12c3dab1-0ae7-4f42-bd86-e2de3a209af7-0
00:14:35.440 --> 00:14:36.640
Fern orders.

b9d04ca0-b0d1-4729-ae4d-22af55a18b00-0
00:14:37.320 --> 00:14:47.588
Dave shoots his *** over table,
then lays there, sheened in sweat,

b9d04ca0-b0d1-4729-ae4d-22af55a18b00-1
00:14:47.588 --> 00:14:50.960
savouring the ecstasy.

5906639b-87d9-482d-b35a-d11d78b6f2b6-0
00:14:51.800 --> 00:14:58.680
As Fern pulls out, he turns,
scoops her into his arms.

c640032f-d018-4219-8546-d44599a8accb-0
00:14:59.920 --> 00:15:01.720
Let's go somewhere quieter.

51ad5582-8c87-473b-8f2f-1c2c90e6c39b-0
00:15:02.960 --> 00:15:07.763
He carries her from the room like a bride,
but in the hallway,

51ad5582-8c87-473b-8f2f-1c2c90e6c39b-1
00:15:07.763 --> 00:15:12.720
the Persian rug sea is tumultuous,
and Dave isn't feeling brave.

315e6b8d-d92a-4328-9727-d442d184a099-0
00:15:14.080 --> 00:15:16.080
Come on, I know somewhere better.

85371f05-706e-4976-a7a4-fab185d86f8a-0
00:15:17.640 --> 00:15:22.160
Dave grabs his keys and they skirt the
choppy waters to the front door.

a8dce54a-ac1a-4897-bd36-c98b52e8711a-0
00:15:29.040 --> 00:15:33.315
Outside,
the sky expands like a balloon being

a8dce54a-ac1a-4897-bd36-c98b52e8711a-1
00:15:33.315 --> 00:15:37.311
blown,
replacing the dreary morning with a

a8dce54a-ac1a-4897-bd36-c98b52e8711a-2
00:15:37.311 --> 00:15:38.520
bright Vista.

0942c7d3-833a-42e0-b447-084b406f9729-0
00:15:39.840 --> 00:15:46.360
On the drive is Dave's spaceship,
waiting to fly the lovers away.

014b9577-8c4b-4cf2-a231-36b338a6c7d3-0
00:15:48.400 --> 00:15:53.334
He lays Fern down inside,
strokes her face,

014b9577-8c4b-4cf2-a231-36b338a6c7d3-1
00:15:53.334 --> 00:16:00.960
sucks her budding ******* resumes
worshipping at her pussy's altar.

95226c0f-8613-4f61-b757-d5978023c584-0
00:16:05.200 --> 00:16:09.240
Don't stop, Daddy, keep tongue ******* me.

88d20ae7-7475-47f5-b175-5629e8203652-0
00:16:10.120 --> 00:16:15.020
Dave senses that Ferns close,
but the moment's ruined by a banging on

88d20ae7-7475-47f5-b175-5629e8203652-1
00:16:15.020 --> 00:16:16.000
the spaceship.

aa169722-d372-4d98-b6be-cc70bedffce7-0
00:16:18.160 --> 00:16:18.720
Dave.

3b2898a6-eca1-479e-99ad-d6c65f5c4530-0
00:16:18.960 --> 00:16:20.120
Good heavens.

07846390-1eef-4b29-b3b9-20193b5b7128-0
00:16:25.120 --> 00:16:29.284
A giant shrew that sounds like his
neighbour Mrs Frodsham,

07846390-1eef-4b29-b3b9-20193b5b7128-1
00:16:29.284 --> 00:16:31.120
Pierce through the window.

ad3eec28-12cc-4206-bb52-d2ef221aa7f0-0
00:16:32.160 --> 00:16:34.200
What are you doing to that thing?

c4850c3b-b405-4633-9b24-8e1e1a35a0f6-0
00:16:35.640 --> 00:16:36.280
Thing.

2d58eb43-d777-4d1f-82e9-f80e89494851-0
00:16:37.520 --> 00:16:38.560
Dave's irate.

b152b211-7e91-4da0-9b5f-4e0bef77c455-0
00:16:39.320 --> 00:16:41.840
**** *** you bigoted old ****.

47b69049-7873-4a07-98e6-68eb00627ffd-0
00:16:43.280 --> 00:16:47.920
The shrew leaves momentarily,
then returns with reinforcements.

0241260f-12dd-4ef9-9c76-f4ded196dba3-0
00:16:49.920 --> 00:16:54.115
Let's get you inside, mate,
Says another shrew, concerned,

0241260f-12dd-4ef9-9c76-f4ded196dba3-1
00:16:54.115 --> 00:16:56.320
fighting amusement on his face.

7cb8196e-ffc8-4922-802d-3ee262870709-0
00:16:58.040 --> 00:17:01.360
But Dave won't let hate win.

652e5212-0242-420f-92dd-dbefdb92cf37-0
00:17:02.480 --> 00:17:06.061
He lifts Fern,
kicks the spaceship's door open,

652e5212-0242-420f-92dd-dbefdb92cf37-1
00:17:06.061 --> 00:17:09.120
and bowls past the shrews into his house.

f84ef3e8-faf9-47cf-8d57-62ffbfc345d7-0
00:17:10.160 --> 00:17:13.760
Hold on, he shouts, wading into the sea.

1cb2f73d-ad26-48ba-9058-f90f81b5e3cd-0
00:17:14.040 --> 00:17:15.720
Fern wraps around him.

2ba30d02-148b-4e9b-bfd5-395f08283099-0
00:17:16.000 --> 00:17:21.151
Dave dives in and cuts through the waves
with broad strokes until they reach the

2ba30d02-148b-4e9b-bfd5-395f08283099-1
00:17:21.151 --> 00:17:22.360
shores of his room.

4d2d55fb-e96c-4d62-ae5a-01cdd494bd44-0
00:17:23.280 --> 00:17:26.240
**** me, Daddy, Fern whispers.

a6065282-5310-49b7-95fc-2db8bc724820-0
00:17:29.600 --> 00:17:32.846
Dave's **** is sensitive from the day's
efforts,

a6065282-5310-49b7-95fc-2db8bc724820-1
00:17:32.846 --> 00:17:38.080
but a chorus backed sunlight beside the
cloud bed illuminates his sacred Lube.

7751220e-8a6e-4d7a-8bf9-ff8506c2d3e9-0
00:17:38.760 --> 00:17:44.800
He empties the bottle and thrusts inside
Fern, pumping hard and fast.

b852f390-8229-497b-9793-e526712f0187-0
00:17:45.240 --> 00:17:46.800
Finally, she screams.

ea515716-7935-4524-98a4-c75cf743c962-0
00:17:47.080 --> 00:17:48.480
Water me, Daddy.

79cc12f9-988c-4321-8926-f76e0f79414b-0
00:17:48.680 --> 00:17:52.240
Spray me like it's drought season and
you're breaking the law.

9b79bfb1-9776-45b1-afdc-2fc8fed2fd29-0
00:17:52.960 --> 00:18:00.290
Teeth clenched with his exertion,
Dave comes one last time,

9b79bfb1-9776-45b1-afdc-2fc8fed2fd29-1
00:18:00.290 --> 00:18:04.200
then collapses into Fern's arms.

ada48775-9cf0-46f8-8208-c00de21428d5-0
00:18:09.430 --> 00:18:12.310
Mr Freeman, can you hear me?

8952cb95-21e2-47c7-ad1a-05f6dc643113-0
00:18:14.550 --> 00:18:17.710
Dave's shaken awake by a hand on his
shoulder.

d10725a8-d3cc-4508-8c3c-fb9058ba09d2-0
00:18:18.910 --> 00:18:26.030
He tries to speak but wretches,
his mouth clogged with soil.

a6480e4a-2eca-4a79-b7ba-71a6d5fe9071-0
00:18:27.830 --> 00:18:28.590
What's going on?

ef7d5241-b16b-4a53-a4aa-59106a892837-0
00:18:31.440 --> 00:18:34.520
We've had some concerned calls from your
neighbours.

98c97d5d-00be-4298-9feb-f72a16aeb53f-0
00:18:35.800 --> 00:18:36.680
A woman's voice.

e30cf029-5f2b-49ba-b456-01f228513021-0
00:18:36.680 --> 00:18:44.235
This time his vision focuses on the two
police officers leaning over him,

e30cf029-5f2b-49ba-b456-01f228513021-1
00:18:44.235 --> 00:18:47.400
trying to keep a straight face.

745b8ac9-0037-4a6c-80c5-21ed447572a1-0
00:18:49.280 --> 00:18:51.960
We're just performing a Wellness check.

b4aa5b17-62c5-4baf-940d-570082a72bdc-0
00:18:53.320 --> 00:18:54.520
Dave looks around.

d948e599-bd67-4ca8-9c9b-08a98ac1da2d-0
00:18:55.440 --> 00:19:02.558
His pristine white sheets are smeared
brown and his weeping ficus is under the

d948e599-bd67-4ca8-9c9b-08a98ac1da2d-1
00:19:02.558 --> 00:19:04.000
covers with him.

277b6561-e650-4a5c-afa6-c45e89134a9e-0
00:19:05.920 --> 00:19:11.760
I'm OK, Elvis's just his brain catches up.

f3e09771-d088-4e11-8014-2d6bd26efe51-0
00:19:12.920 --> 00:19:16.240
Adverse reaction to new medication.

1eca20cc-1efb-49e2-8810-f1fd2a7b66de-0
00:19:18.160 --> 00:19:24.485
He throws some pants on and sees them out,
registering the destruction of his hall

1eca20cc-1efb-49e2-8810-f1fd2a7b66de-1
00:19:24.485 --> 00:19:27.000
runner from his earlier swimming.

face3c34-06e4-4d1f-8586-3e5fb34f6194-0
00:19:28.560 --> 00:19:34.396
His traitorous keys dangle in the open
front door,

face3c34-06e4-4d1f-8586-3e5fb34f6194-1
00:19:34.396 --> 00:19:40.920
reminding him he went outside today to
cement his shame.

faef8180-305d-4c36-afd7-ed48b612c621-0
00:19:41.200 --> 00:19:47.960
The whole close is out enjoying the
spectacle, including Mrs Frodsham.

b299db96-9639-4b1d-adb6-9cae30e72335-0
00:19:50.120 --> 00:19:55.520
There's no redemption from this,
Dave acknowledges shutting the door.

a85e7713-1304-442c-a22f-84b4e1d9859b-0
00:19:56.840 --> 00:20:01.680
He'll always be their naked neighbour who
******* a tree.

001b1d48-8c84-4bc2-8e71-c54560ed5443-0
00:20:04.920 --> 00:20:13.405
Maybe, he thinks,
ignoring Fern's faint pleas to rejoin her,

001b1d48-8c84-4bc2-8e71-c54560ed5443-1
00:20:13.405 --> 00:20:17.440
it's time I got a girlfriend.

33081ad2-273a-484f-a6fd-104e0740781f-0
00:20:36.150 --> 00:20:39.190
Thank you Zara,
that was properly hilarious.

9b3b1a2a-e292-438d-9842-66029a47e128-0
00:20:39.190 --> 00:20:40.270
Love that reading it.

0e088019-62c0-4542-ba2d-83b071732813-0
00:20:40.270 --> 00:20:40.910
Thank you.

ac58ddf1-f605-48b3-a2ca-20f09ce2ea56-0
00:20:41.400 --> 00:20:42.880
I've just brought something up on my
phone.

95d4fa43-5821-48c5-8c29-a92840a22ff2-0
00:20:42.880 --> 00:20:45.800
I just want you to consider this like,
would you **** this plant?

e354693e-78e1-4bac-a48e-71dc10fae616-0
00:20:45.800 --> 00:20:46.600
This is a weeping.

c6b6f79c-14df-40fc-95e0-19c0100fc2b4-0
00:20:46.600 --> 00:20:50.753
This one in particular,
I would say that it is lacking in visible

c6b6f79c-14df-40fc-95e0-19c0100fc2b4-1
00:20:50.753 --> 00:20:51.320
orifices.

2cad4824-651d-4e15-8779-945d524406ab-0
00:20:52.920 --> 00:20:54.480
That's a as a start.

dbd970e1-b123-4870-8f8d-1cdbec888ffe-0
00:20:54.600 --> 00:20:54.720
Uh huh.

632d568f-42e4-43bb-89a6-53efab97c1ed-0
00:20:55.320 --> 00:20:57.717
I'm not sexually attracted to that plant,
no,

632d568f-42e4-43bb-89a6-53efab97c1ed-1
00:20:57.717 --> 00:21:01.000
but I'm also not on a whole bunch of LSD
or whatever the ****.

82643b37-b649-4846-a9d9-5846389929ca-0
00:21:01.000 --> 00:21:03.040
What about this, this moment here?

bb50a099-acb2-4f96-bac7-e67d9226bc0b-0
00:21:03.760 --> 00:21:04.400
How do you feel about that?

bc8b3efb-4ad2-43b6-8ab8-76b1d0cb99e0-0
00:21:04.400 --> 00:21:07.360
Now they're talking now that you're
getting right into the.

f05ee79e-6f90-477f-9700-adb0d8ff1d88-0
00:21:07.760 --> 00:21:11.680
I've zoomed in on the trunk,
which is like a, it's just in twined.

315646bf-1437-4f4e-bb01-5cb46dc26db2-0
00:21:11.800 --> 00:21:13.400
It's a, it's kind of sexual.

b69e364c-55cf-4d03-a602-c30674833c8b-0
00:21:13.600 --> 00:21:14.040
It is.

c8f06674-d310-4f8e-89c3-c47e593b92c6-0
00:21:14.040 --> 00:21:17.276
I don't know if it's kind of sexual or if
I've just been reading a lot of flesh

c8f06674-d310-4f8e-89c3-c47e593b92c6-1
00:21:17.276 --> 00:21:17.600
fiction.

64436a0c-89c5-4d75-af86-d443b3decef6-0
00:21:17.720 --> 00:21:19.108
Yeah,
I think you've been reading a lot of

64436a0c-89c5-4d75-af86-d443b3decef6-1
00:21:19.108 --> 00:21:19.560
flesh fiction.

63d7e149-201f-4620-b881-2b07dbf8e642-0
00:21:19.560 --> 00:21:20.400
So thanks, Zara.

a7c9df01-4b12-4219-8942-9ae6a591d115-0
00:21:20.480 --> 00:21:24.200
And Zara has left us a message,
so we'll play that now.

562a8774-18af-4dd9-a9a0-6ba6f0d29fb1-0
00:21:27.920 --> 00:21:30.866
Hey guys, Zara,
Eloise Rowe here coming to you from

562a8774-18af-4dd9-a9a0-6ba6f0d29fb1-1
00:21:30.866 --> 00:21:32.000
Liverpool in the UK.

dc7ed193-6e20-4773-b3f1-ba1dcb8363c9-0
00:21:32.240 --> 00:21:35.640
Just wanted to say a quick thank you for
the Flesh Fiction competition.

d3913a7f-9da5-460a-bc93-0d168c09c8d5-0
00:21:35.640 --> 00:21:40.274
It's been such an amazing experience from
start to finish and especially the

d3913a7f-9da5-460a-bc93-0d168c09c8d5-1
00:21:40.274 --> 00:21:42.080
editorial process with Amanda.

20f7628c-f8c7-4303-a1be-ae5514469471-0
00:21:42.080 --> 00:21:43.680
Loved trading puns with you.

d6ff31ba-668c-4bbe-9af9-ff7be4ccd72f-0
00:21:44.160 --> 00:21:45.960
So I have two questions for you both.

28b89554-0f99-42b0-956c-bebc50135c42-0
00:21:46.640 --> 00:21:49.657
Firstly,
when I write scenes I see them in my mind

28b89554-0f99-42b0-956c-bebc50135c42-1
00:21:49.657 --> 00:21:52.320
like a film or ATV show before writing
them.

d94437a2-d839-4198-8cd3-d4fdd37bb25f-0
00:21:52.520 --> 00:21:55.440
Or sometimes I'll hear sentences in my
internal monologue.

cd363e06-e4b8-4e25-9bc9-4f671d432c2a-0
00:21:55.800 --> 00:22:00.457
So character point of view is something
that I don't typically struggle with even

cd363e06-e4b8-4e25-9bc9-4f671d432c2a-1
00:22:00.457 --> 00:22:04.320
when the character is far removed from my
personality like Dave is.

f91a4510-39a0-4296-9929-eef8b2f86dfa-0
00:22:04.840 --> 00:22:05.680
Also like Amanda.

deb96206-1830-4a0c-9a2a-6d22303c90aa-0
00:22:05.680 --> 00:22:09.441
I have not ****** Houseplant,
but I'm interested to see from a reader

deb96206-1830-4a0c-9a2a-6d22303c90aa-1
00:22:09.441 --> 00:22:11.806
and I guess technical editorial
standpoint,

deb96206-1830-4a0c-9a2a-6d22303c90aa-2
00:22:11.806 --> 00:22:15.998
how well that translates and if there
were any areas where I perhaps took for

deb96206-1830-4a0c-9a2a-6d22303c90aa-3
00:22:15.998 --> 00:22:20.297
granted that the reader didn't have my
point of view to immediately get certain

deb96206-1830-4a0c-9a2a-6d22303c90aa-4
00:22:20.297 --> 00:22:21.480
aspects in the scenes.

a9a2c785-73c5-4c63-9f46-8497d9e35061-0
00:22:21.920 --> 00:22:25.008
Secondly,
what tips do you have for people writing

a9a2c785-73c5-4c63-9f46-8497d9e35061-1
00:22:25.008 --> 00:22:28.400
outside of their genres,
aside from reading that genre?

9eaa93aa-41cd-46b2-8bd7-caeae3fbbe8f-0
00:22:28.760 --> 00:22:32.856
This was really out of my comfort zone,
and one of the reasons I opted for The

9eaa93aa-41cd-46b2-8bd7-caeae3fbbe8f-1
00:22:32.856 --> 00:22:37.108
Bare Devil was because I felt like if I
could handle ****** fiction of mine being

9eaa93aa-41cd-46b2-8bd7-caeae3fbbe8f-2
00:22:37.108 --> 00:22:39.597
read aloud,
I'd be able to handle anything as a

9eaa93aa-41cd-46b2-8bd7-caeae3fbbe8f-3
00:22:39.597 --> 00:22:39.960
writer.

b898ceec-4879-4acd-b190-bf614c49d0b5-0
00:22:40.280 --> 00:22:44.673
Because I don't like comedy and all the
****** fiction I have written,

b898ceec-4879-4acd-b190-bf614c49d0b5-1
00:22:44.673 --> 00:22:48.200
it's confined to my notes app for some
vague future use.

415cf0dd-e5ee-44de-9c2a-30c6b42df6cf-0
00:22:48.200 --> 00:22:52.909
So I'd be glad of any broadly
transferable tips when it comes to

415cf0dd-e5ee-44de-9c2a-30c6b42df6cf-1
00:22:52.909 --> 00:22:55.880
writing outside of your preferred genres.

d8431590-39c8-42f2-bb3b-9b62f38f118e-0
00:22:56.080 --> 00:22:56.520
OK, thank you.

bf34b642-5729-4547-a720-06ac4fc15a57-0
00:22:56.520 --> 00:22:56.840
Bye.

bf347d8d-8187-40d1-8e55-f4da340ec058-0
00:22:58.560 --> 00:22:59.400
So thank you, Zara.

5c95ca47-77e4-4296-9f6f-c72448918fce-0
00:22:59.400 --> 00:23:03.222
And let's maybe respond to a couple of
your questions before we get into the

5c95ca47-77e4-4296-9f6f-c72448918fce-1
00:23:03.222 --> 00:23:03.520
story.

7aa6fe52-3294-4ed9-af59-72e03faad664-0
00:23:03.600 --> 00:23:07.305
I guess the first comment you made around
seeing things as like a movie when you're

7aa6fe52-3294-4ed9-af59-72e03faad664-1
00:23:07.305 --> 00:23:09.600
writing,
and I think that's a really good approach.

c164b574-61f5-47ea-83bf-29a7dde8e599-0
00:23:09.600 --> 00:23:11.823
Yeah,
we often say about writing that it is

c164b574-61f5-47ea-83bf-29a7dde8e599-1
00:23:11.823 --> 00:23:13.440
very visual, it's multi sensory.

6a6e96a3-edb7-4554-925e-0a556c834998-0
00:23:13.440 --> 00:23:15.376
But personally,
when I'm reading something,

6a6e96a3-edb7-4554-925e-0a556c834998-1
00:23:15.376 --> 00:23:16.960
I'm visualising what's taking place.

0db2661f-ec50-4c3c-8bb0-377fc09caa15-0
00:23:16.960 --> 00:23:21.033
And I think making sure that you have
that visual connection with a reader,

0db2661f-ec50-4c3c-8bb0-377fc09caa15-1
00:23:21.033 --> 00:23:24.088
I think it's important,
especially in a story like this,

0db2661f-ec50-4c3c-8bb0-377fc09caa15-2
00:23:24.088 --> 00:23:26.661
which is very,
it's like a very visual story of

0db2661f-ec50-4c3c-8bb0-377fc09caa15-3
00:23:26.661 --> 00:23:27.680
slapstick in there.

589d3f10-e19e-4073-bc49-1c56f6323e3d-0
00:23:27.680 --> 00:23:32.091
And it's absolutely the kind of thing
that you want to physically picture this

589d3f10-e19e-4073-bc49-1c56f6323e3d-1
00:23:32.091 --> 00:23:33.320
to amplify the comedy.

a7fec8b4-bd07-4a14-9f2e-3663d3c8748b-0
00:23:34.200 --> 00:23:35.280
And do you know what I would say?

6acd5522-42bd-46a9-9725-0aeb800ea6cf-0
00:23:35.280 --> 00:23:38.400
I don't typically picture stories that
much in my mind.

64633d38-f88b-4975-b409-ed948e3f8ea5-0
00:23:38.400 --> 00:23:40.640
I'm not a super visual person in that
sense.

8c576f9d-b214-4b14-affb-39d1e4e70162-0
00:23:40.640 --> 00:23:42.320
But in this case I did.

c423aa0b-e329-4036-a6ab-4a3dc4f9d7cb-0
00:23:42.320 --> 00:23:45.840
And I think it was because we were being
fed those very visual details as well,

c423aa0b-e329-4036-a6ab-4a3dc4f9d7cb-1
00:23:45.840 --> 00:23:46.720
and sensory details.

cfb6c185-550d-4c4b-9f86-b5163aea0703-0
00:23:46.720 --> 00:23:49.840
Like you're picturing this guy swimming
on the floor in his rug.

1c0eab84-4411-4da0-947a-a16ef609f7d2-0
00:23:49.840 --> 00:23:50.840
And it's hilarious.

d29aa5f1-f7fd-49cb-a1a1-dfac159b0387-0
00:23:51.240 --> 00:23:53.920
And Zara asked, like,
how well did that translate?

8d77d9b6-7ab5-4032-b6ac-d504b45b3a4d-0
00:23:53.920 --> 00:23:57.176
So I guess the question is,
how well did I get the picture out of my

8d77d9b6-7ab5-4032-b6ac-d504b45b3a4d-1
00:23:57.176 --> 00:24:01.000
head and onto the page so that someone
else coming to this is seeing what I see.

90378f38-69ce-48b6-bf7c-a402164ba435-0
00:24:01.000 --> 00:24:04.788
And I think probably pretty well, like,
I can't speak to what Zara's image is

90378f38-69ce-48b6-bf7c-a402164ba435-1
00:24:04.788 --> 00:24:05.760
versus what mine is.

11facacd-3ffe-4022-a22e-e157f4179b84-0
00:24:05.760 --> 00:24:07.440
But like I said,
I don't normally picture things.

975daa8c-8836-4fa7-b211-4239fa37c432-0
00:24:07.440 --> 00:24:09.000
And I was picturing this whole thing.

9333c239-e072-4f04-9b15-f4d563f5ed70-0
00:24:09.320 --> 00:24:11.900
And so your second question,
Zara was around like,

9333c239-e072-4f04-9b15-f4d563f5ed70-1
00:24:11.900 --> 00:24:16.000
how do you write outside your comfort
zone almost or outside your regular genre?

84a0e36e-6542-440a-9a86-5a8f11b3f8c6-0
00:24:16.480 --> 00:24:19.681
The only thing I can add to this is just
from my own experience of writing for

84a0e36e-6542-440a-9a86-5a8f11b3f8c6-1
00:24:19.681 --> 00:24:21.910
flesh fiction,
which is outside of my comfort zone and

84a0e36e-6542-440a-9a86-5a8f11b3f8c6-2
00:24:21.910 --> 00:24:22.640
part of it for me.

e7fae0ef-fd97-4f3d-ae61-133b256a1757-0
00:24:22.640 --> 00:24:25.518
I didn't read a lot of erotica to do that
really,

e7fae0ef-fd97-4f3d-ae61-133b256a1757-1
00:24:25.518 --> 00:24:28.800
and I haven't read all that much prior to
flesh fiction.

d5bdb974-9587-47bd-9e29-35f839bc2b19-0
00:24:28.800 --> 00:24:33.540
I would say I've read a fair bit now,
but probably the only advice I would give

d5bdb974-9587-47bd-9e29-35f839bc2b19-1
00:24:33.540 --> 00:24:38.459
based on my experience is just to try to
get comfortable being outside of your own

d5bdb974-9587-47bd-9e29-35f839bc2b19-2
00:24:38.459 --> 00:24:43.437
comfort zone and try to connect with what
that genre has to offer and what a reader

d5bdb974-9587-47bd-9e29-35f839bc2b19-3
00:24:43.437 --> 00:24:44.800
gets out of that genre.

137faab3-1d24-47f0-bc65-111a3342fd8c-0
00:24:44.840 --> 00:24:45.160
Yeah.

2cfa4ab8-c253-4f5c-827a-a0ae9c871ce3-0
00:24:45.200 --> 00:24:49.713
And push yourself to deliver that because
it may not be the thing you're used to

2cfa4ab8-c253-4f5c-827a-a0ae9c871ce3-1
00:24:49.713 --> 00:24:53.279
delivering on the page,
but if you can at least put yourself in

2cfa4ab8-c253-4f5c-827a-a0ae9c871ce3-2
00:24:53.279 --> 00:24:56.400
that frame of mind,
get uncomfortable and embrace that.

48d247fe-0b9c-4ffb-bdb9-e1f2317f5678-0
00:24:56.560 --> 00:24:57.920
And I think there's an extension of that.

8ca6fbbb-0233-4bd3-9e77-3fe430475fb0-0
00:24:57.920 --> 00:25:01.256
When you say get uncomfortable,
I think it's important to also get

8ca6fbbb-0233-4bd3-9e77-3fe430475fb0-1
00:25:01.256 --> 00:25:02.800
uncomfortable with a new genre.

edae557b-cf2e-46f9-9543-a3f08263e708-0
00:25:02.800 --> 00:25:05.920
You can't expect to just start writing
and be the expert.

9725dfb1-1cec-4d7f-ab8e-089995db698f-0
00:25:05.920 --> 00:25:07.912
Yeah, I think you learn by doing,
you know,

9725dfb1-1cec-4d7f-ab8e-089995db698f-1
00:25:07.912 --> 00:25:11.536
and I think there'd be a few people out
there listening who started writing for

9725dfb1-1cec-4d7f-ab8e-089995db698f-2
00:25:11.536 --> 00:25:15.160
this competition and who are now thinking,
that was fun, I want to do it again.

c1109f56-dd53-46c6-963d-d9c1ddfce48d-0
00:25:15.720 --> 00:25:18.696
Some of those people did really well,
maybe surprised themself in this

c1109f56-dd53-46c6-963d-d9c1ddfce48d-1
00:25:18.696 --> 00:25:19.200
competition.

ddb3377e-d672-4e47-a6f0-9a455a9b4dbd-0
00:25:19.200 --> 00:25:21.800
Other people maybe were disappointed by
the outcome.

7a307328-64c3-443d-8dab-1a0b21776548-0
00:25:21.960 --> 00:25:24.960
But like, if it's your first time,
you can't expect to win.

370cef00-2ebe-4c67-932b-8ec863c61f4d-0
00:25:24.960 --> 00:25:27.629
Or like, you might,
you get lucky and you have other talents

370cef00-2ebe-4c67-932b-8ec863c61f4d-1
00:25:27.629 --> 00:25:28.680
and they translate well.

d8e7134f-1c3b-4f78-8007-aabdbdd4a97b-0
00:25:28.680 --> 00:25:30.760
But it's OK to learn.

630fa9e5-b224-4c35-9e59-ac913ef6c42b-0
00:25:30.760 --> 00:25:33.520
It's OK to be **** at stuff for a while
and to just learn.

157cf7cd-213f-4b3a-9152-9693bf6a060f-0
00:25:33.520 --> 00:25:35.400
And I think we forget that as adults
sometimes.

b7c36f0f-2d8d-4516-a8d8-eda693a4bd6d-0
00:25:35.400 --> 00:25:38.560
Like we get to a point in our career
where we kind of know what we're doing.

60550d36-46fe-4131-8974-d25e2e86f360-0
00:25:38.960 --> 00:25:41.487
We get to a point maybe where our
children are old enough that we're like,

60550d36-46fe-4131-8974-d25e2e86f360-1
00:25:41.487 --> 00:25:42.600
well, we haven't killed them yet.

a11c3ac7-9188-4099-b8a8-87b2490e621d-0
00:25:42.600 --> 00:25:44.040
I think that, you know, they're doing OK.

daaa4d2c-4ab2-4c03-990b-a1d54ae3c493-0
00:25:44.040 --> 00:25:46.397
And,
and all of these things where we get to

daaa4d2c-4ab2-4c03-990b-a1d54ae3c493-1
00:25:46.397 --> 00:25:49.749
this comfortable point,
like speaking for myself in middle age,

daaa4d2c-4ab2-4c03-990b-a1d54ae3c493-2
00:25:49.749 --> 00:25:50.640
very comfortable.

b21747c7-bce6-4643-86de-b052cf004f18-0
00:25:50.960 --> 00:25:55.413
And we forget what it's like to be new at
stuff and to suck at it and for that to

b21747c7-bce6-4643-86de-b052cf004f18-1
00:25:55.413 --> 00:25:56.120
just be fine.

78ea711d-777a-4ef2-8f5e-06c2cfc9ccb7-0
00:25:56.640 --> 00:25:59.920
So as an extension of reading,
which I think is great advice,

78ea711d-777a-4ef2-8f5e-06c2cfc9ccb7-1
00:25:59.920 --> 00:26:02.619
absolutely read in the genre you want to
write in,

78ea711d-777a-4ef2-8f5e-06c2cfc9ccb7-2
00:26:02.619 --> 00:26:05.160
but also just bloody write in it and
that's OK.

36bbe873-7fe0-4c91-b842-1760c5e1f469-0
00:26:05.560 --> 00:26:07.400
And bring your own think to it as well.

e55ba9ab-317c-4fb9-b46f-55df0813db75-0
00:26:07.680 --> 00:26:09.800
You can also, of course educate yourself.

69b0112a-8680-4f34-8bb7-dac410378b4a-0
00:26:09.800 --> 00:26:12.291
You can go and learn about if it's ******
fiction,

69b0112a-8680-4f34-8bb7-dac410378b4a-1
00:26:12.291 --> 00:26:15.320
like what are the things about that make
good ****** fiction?

33e1054f-f1a6-4f4c-bdc0-4e0110193806-0
00:26:15.680 --> 00:26:19.640
I published an article with Adult
Matchmaker on that and it had some tips.

6a4e2a11-bdbe-491b-941d-c39c3fcdc705-0
00:26:19.640 --> 00:26:22.856
You can listen to these Bare Devil
episodes if you want some tips,

6a4e2a11-bdbe-491b-941d-c39c3fcdc705-1
00:26:22.856 --> 00:26:24.200
but that's just our opinion.

813db11a-3309-422d-8aa0-2fb98aaa0431-0
00:26:24.400 --> 00:26:27.553
But it will start you thinking along that
track of like, well,

813db11a-3309-422d-8aa0-2fb98aaa0431-1
00:26:27.553 --> 00:26:31.358
what is it about this genre that's
different that I need to do that maybe I

813db11a-3309-422d-8aa0-2fb98aaa0431-2
00:26:31.358 --> 00:26:32.360
wasn't doing before?

ebb09814-70eb-412d-a10e-7a58edde9632-0
00:26:32.520 --> 00:26:36.228
And I do think there are some very
specific techniques that set ******

ebb09814-70eb-412d-a10e-7a58edde9632-1
00:26:36.228 --> 00:26:36.960
fiction apart.

7334fb43-7de0-4f9c-81be-e10a69d4cc46-0
00:26:37.320 --> 00:26:39.400
Some of those I think Zara handles really
well.

f9db489f-7392-4f41-b678-30dd19cc5a00-0
00:26:39.400 --> 00:26:43.760
Like, sensory detail, for example,
is a big factor in ****** fiction.

7d89257a-42a3-4892-b0e8-ad88f2c93dcf-0
00:26:43.760 --> 00:26:46.000
And I think this story delivered a lot of
sensory detail.

8cb0d45d-7130-44f0-a890-943767930232-0
00:26:46.000 --> 00:26:47.480
So I guess just keep doing it.

b5e2dfa4-04d0-418e-80cf-79fae37e8998-0
00:26:47.560 --> 00:26:48.760
If you like it, have fun.

da82c7e8-e2fb-4f4b-bee1-7737f8702b0f-0
00:26:48.760 --> 00:26:49.320
Just do it.

21ae8261-ba38-4bc6-9971-1b1cb23b7991-0
00:26:49.520 --> 00:26:49.720
Yeah.

5c624e0b-fd96-482b-a7e2-0fdfaa33fbd0-0
00:26:49.720 --> 00:26:50.960
And you made the podium with this.

473e80d2-646d-4621-bdd9-51b2a97249ba-0
00:26:50.960 --> 00:26:51.080
So.

857e9d3c-e9ee-4a6d-b295-1bccbb9c1127-0
00:26:51.160 --> 00:26:51.320
Yeah.

997bedea-2904-4abd-84df-b03d548bf0d5-0
00:26:51.320 --> 00:26:52.280
So you've got some talent.

4d922d52-6ca5-4bf4-b024-f84654ef80d8-0
00:26:52.280 --> 00:26:53.160
And we just love this story.

a8bb0b6d-fbf3-49e8-92a3-751405cb9f7f-0
00:26:53.160 --> 00:26:55.960
It's a great comedy and very sexy.

5b3b6354-46ae-4dbf-9504-8069ac52094d-0
00:26:55.960 --> 00:26:58.882
And the points I made about getting
outside of your comfort zone,

5b3b6354-46ae-4dbf-9504-8069ac52094d-1
00:26:58.882 --> 00:26:59.680
you certainly did.

e118ae60-36e1-4955-8030-9afd4e950827-0
00:26:59.680 --> 00:27:00.800
I mean, I assume you did.

61495aa8-2af9-4fb4-95e8-888d136a747b-0
00:27:00.800 --> 00:27:02.440
I've assumed this is not your comfort
zone.

b1be2cf4-35d3-407c-97ce-1ecc4186e8d0-0
00:27:03.000 --> 00:27:05.472
Actually,
I have to say Zara got a little bit

b1be2cf4-35d3-407c-97ce-1ecc4186e8d0-1
00:27:05.472 --> 00:27:09.772
defensive in that comment there when she
when she left her voicemail, like, oh,

b1be2cf4-35d3-407c-97ce-1ecc4186e8d0-2
00:27:09.772 --> 00:27:11.600
and this is this is not me at all.

7f74bfa6-a061-4913-804e-435556f4cb28-0
00:27:11.600 --> 00:27:13.640
And and I've never ****** a houseplant.

8463b808-1f77-4c94-b36d-53c18a456799-0
00:27:13.640 --> 00:27:15.600
And, and you know, and I,
I would say the same.

3c222913-115a-49a2-95f4-0b66fb9df377-0
00:27:15.600 --> 00:27:16.720
I've never ****** a houseplant.

815b8e4f-0113-430c-9030-661af294e700-0
00:27:16.720 --> 00:27:18.480
Yeah, we can all comfortably say that.

961706a6-ccf6-46fd-8f21-049f49380862-0
00:27:18.760 --> 00:27:20.000
Yeah, let's get that on the table.

5722c70d-4b09-41c4-8c64-a54a36244269-0
00:27:20.280 --> 00:27:23.560
None of us here has ever ****** on this
plant on the table.

a9b04d79-dc2f-478d-b346-944dee6072e3-0
00:27:23.760 --> 00:27:24.880
Have you ****** a table?

72c1021e-9454-4db7-a240-9f4c6ac6acdd-0
00:27:24.880 --> 00:27:25.560
Tea table?

fba6a8fd-4166-4c14-8f27-36ef0a363a01-0
00:27:26.640 --> 00:27:27.520
It shouldn't need to be said.

22eb2171-2b8b-4f71-9971-9d593c609f8b-0
00:27:27.520 --> 00:27:28.400
No, I have not.

381923f0-a6ff-4298-a962-e6e06d2400da-0
00:27:29.400 --> 00:27:30.840
I feel like Bill Clinton right now.

8564ad7b-c718-4339-b5c3-73e2100a5903-0
00:27:30.920 --> 00:27:35.880
Is it because you're intimidated by its
buff Chrome body or why is this about me?

1dc81dec-b010-40ba-a147-0cc8ded03846-0
00:27:36.240 --> 00:27:37.440
I'm not the bare devil.

279d9cdb-e614-4fa9-801b-58ac88375fb5-0
00:27:40.400 --> 00:27:44.449
OK, moving swiftly along,
let's talk about the title because,

279d9cdb-e614-4fa9-801b-58ac88375fb5-1
00:27:44.449 --> 00:27:45.560
you know, a plus.

0842fd62-756c-4bf4-8ef0-3be2a65cb361-0
00:27:45.560 --> 00:27:46.640
No notes on this one.

e2aa3c36-9d66-4928-9eff-0e07211331a2-0
00:27:46.640 --> 00:27:47.760
This is a great title.

8f4ef660-2755-4a39-9edc-145cea51c72d-0
00:27:47.760 --> 00:27:48.240
Great fun.

b5755811-6c73-4b89-8f28-0513cb7769c4-0
00:27:48.400 --> 00:27:52.666
All the things we say about titles
recalls the story is a lot of fun is

b5755811-6c73-4b89-8f28-0513cb7769c4-1
00:27:52.666 --> 00:27:53.200
creative.

0508011c-ec2c-40c6-aa6d-7eff79dd538d-0
00:27:53.600 --> 00:27:57.935
It's the tones in your mind or we were on
Rabbits podcast the other day,

0508011c-ec2c-40c6-aa6d-7eff79dd538d-1
00:27:57.935 --> 00:27:59.480
a Rabbits pod van podcast.

d44f94a5-d6f5-49d9-b838-8d2d0eb3d95f-0
00:27:59.480 --> 00:28:04.106
And this very story title came up and was
a topic of conversation like it is on

d44f94a5-d6f5-49d9-b838-8d2d0eb3d95f-1
00:28:04.106 --> 00:28:04.800
title alone.

9d53ae1d-3bf3-4625-a570-c39be76694b5-0
00:28:04.840 --> 00:28:07.560
A great story and great title is one
thing.

ac1c85ab-ec6b-4d40-8e0b-334fcc0bcbd4-0
00:28:07.560 --> 00:28:09.680
And then having the story back it up is
another thing.

a1786d25-daed-41d9-bafb-37254609ab29-0
00:28:09.680 --> 00:28:11.920
And the story 100% backs it up.

34a013af-4b05-4e2d-857f-e4e6b7427e2e-0
00:28:12.200 --> 00:28:14.730
But it's this is a case of the title
elevating the story,

34a013af-4b05-4e2d-857f-e4e6b7427e2e-1
00:28:14.730 --> 00:28:16.040
the story elevating the title.

2d54e0a2-650c-47e0-b06a-90dcbcc1e102-0
00:28:16.040 --> 00:28:19.240
And it's like this great feedback loop
that makes everything better.

cf154774-9f56-47cf-902c-188aebe223b9-0
00:28:19.480 --> 00:28:22.920
I'm trying to not go in a sexual
direction with these references.

946f0ed5-41e3-4ced-ae31-2bd6ef0d8c4b-0
00:28:23.000 --> 00:28:24.200
So yeah, so far so good.

b03ea187-f588-4211-b8e1-b7eda137b087-0
00:28:24.240 --> 00:28:26.800
All right,
so let's get into the story and this.

1826aa77-ad58-47f7-b1a3-fb0e78fcf4db-0
00:28:27.040 --> 00:28:30.240
We are not going line by line because
we'll be here all bloody night.

ce792a01-ee6e-4489-aa2a-a70c40df128c-0
00:28:30.240 --> 00:28:34.309
I tell you what, though,
I went line by line with Zara in the

ce792a01-ee6e-4489-aa2a-a70c40df128c-1
00:28:34.309 --> 00:28:37.000
edits for Yeah collection and it was fun.

26778394-964a-4587-ab1b-c778bc026394-0
00:28:37.360 --> 00:28:41.160
It's fun to get into the weeds,
if you will, on this story.

5a374074-e30c-4925-882b-0f8788ba35da-0
00:28:41.560 --> 00:28:45.721
I'm sure probably a lot of what I'm going
to say is not going to be a surprise to

5a374074-e30c-4925-882b-0f8788ba35da-1
00:28:45.721 --> 00:28:48.360
Zara right now,
but we will share it with everyone.

0ea6c26e-91f0-4bb8-8bec-7805da87baea-0
00:28:48.880 --> 00:28:50.400
OK, well fill us in then.

43fe397c-7e80-4db6-8f71-0a1294ce929c-0
00:28:50.440 --> 00:28:52.280
Amanda, let's talk about the opening.

cf0525db-0b51-4b2c-83ea-85f4dd05bd1d-0
00:28:52.520 --> 00:28:55.120
Fill you in like a pot, let's say.

156a3534-443c-43e9-9efe-f8fde9cd2192-0
00:28:57.040 --> 00:28:59.297
Well, look, you know,
I did get into the detail,

156a3534-443c-43e9-9efe-f8fde9cd2192-1
00:28:59.297 --> 00:29:02.200
and we don't necessarily have to go like
that level of detail.

9ef3a7ce-1b2d-4633-a743-6e565bba1bb9-0
00:29:02.560 --> 00:29:04.874
All right, well,
let's just start with the opening,

9ef3a7ce-1b2d-4633-a743-6e565bba1bb9-1
00:29:04.874 --> 00:29:05.720
which is meet Dave.

110beedf-f278-472b-83b9-d28706bb4bd0-0
00:29:05.720 --> 00:29:09.218
It's a drizzling Monday and he's taken
the day off because, well,

110beedf-f278-472b-83b9-d28706bb4bd0-1
00:29:09.218 --> 00:29:10.120
why the **** not?

4d96a5a2-c387-4ff8-aa30-08758bafd253-0
00:29:10.120 --> 00:29:13.644
If he's going to be a cog in the
corporate machine until he's decrepit,

4d96a5a2-c387-4ff8-aa30-08758bafd253-1
00:29:13.644 --> 00:29:16.680
the least he's owed is his meagre
allowance of paid days off.

278289ae-91a5-40a7-b916-291e65f5f077-0
00:29:17.160 --> 00:29:20.716
Relatable, totally relatable,
and sets up a a character that we can all

278289ae-91a5-40a7-b916-291e65f5f077-1
00:29:20.716 --> 00:29:23.680
relate to, but also, you know,
great voice from the outset.

21cc4aa1-42ac-40df-b31b-95c9a86a8517-0
00:29:23.720 --> 00:29:28.618
The whole Meet Dave thing I think works
really well here and creates that fun

21cc4aa1-42ac-40df-b31b-95c9a86a8517-1
00:29:28.618 --> 00:29:30.440
atmosphere right off the bat.

7dc0c3f5-b3f9-46d6-8cbd-36db0177803c-0
00:29:30.440 --> 00:29:31.400
We know he's got a day off.

43dc7231-0d56-435c-9700-636e15335b8d-0
00:29:31.400 --> 00:29:34.240
We know he's got time to do what he's
about to do.

f7eba261-c6e3-453e-9620-b9455410450b-0
00:29:34.280 --> 00:29:37.040
So we're not stressed about what else he
has going on in his life.

a0b223d1-62dd-48f9-aa40-8089fbc9f61a-0
00:29:37.040 --> 00:29:38.600
I guess that's the least of our worries.

45b3aa06-dc7c-4203-8f65-7d7b0eb16deb-0
00:29:38.600 --> 00:29:39.000
Yeah.

c582bc05-d141-45a0-931f-62a0658ee37f-0
00:29:39.800 --> 00:29:42.836
And, you know,
straight into that he pumps his morning

c582bc05-d141-45a0-931f-62a0658ee37f-1
00:29:42.836 --> 00:29:43.720
wood with speed.

a61a563f-3a69-4253-9e46-75b7950275b1-0
00:29:44.000 --> 00:29:47.538
And what I loved about this part of the
scene as well as we've got his great

a61a563f-3a69-4253-9e46-75b7950275b1-1
00:29:47.538 --> 00:29:49.790
voice,
but we're also getting hints about who he

a61a563f-3a69-4253-9e46-75b7950275b1-2
00:29:49.790 --> 00:29:50.480
is as a person.

b375fef1-f421-4f3e-9d26-ea525e4d062a-0
00:29:50.480 --> 00:29:54.396
So these lines,
like he doesn't bother edging or gooning,

b375fef1-f421-4f3e-9d26-ea525e4d062a-1
00:29:54.396 --> 00:29:57.906
you know,
these are kind of like chronically online

b375fef1-f421-4f3e-9d26-ea525e4d062a-2
00:29:57.906 --> 00:30:00.000
terms, I would say men's terms.

31a338fe-5074-427e-b20a-a5f3599afe9a-0
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:03.600
And that starts to give you a hint at
like, who he is.

4e408c05-8a1a-4ecd-b71f-e49fd5fd1225-0
00:30:03.880 --> 00:30:07.070
Also,
he's hairless pubis like that he that he

4e408c05-8a1a-4ecd-b71f-e49fd5fd1225-1
00:30:07.070 --> 00:30:10.600
trims his ***** maybe to make his member
be larger.

17e3c4bc-79c4-47ae-b0bb-d52b8b00e002-0
00:30:11.280 --> 00:30:11.920
I don't know.

76fa40ff-5188-4ad7-a13b-bdc014c12072-0
00:30:12.120 --> 00:30:17.600
Why'd you get that information from the
Internet where you spend too much time?

767becef-30a6-4ca9-b273-9babbccf1940-0
00:30:17.640 --> 00:30:19.160
OK, well, no.

de8399cc-132e-4184-9c89-0ed97e244fc7-0
00:30:19.160 --> 00:30:21.666
Well,
I guess we're left to question why maybe

de8399cc-132e-4184-9c89-0ed97e244fc7-1
00:30:21.666 --> 00:30:22.680
is the point there.

dd4be80c-1e33-4462-9c86-36c2fb771a62-0
00:30:22.800 --> 00:30:25.800
But this in particular,
I really love this line.

9ffcdebd-ea3e-4c7b-a89c-b6181f47f75f-0
00:30:26.120 --> 00:30:29.320
His prized monument shrinks to its
cornerstone.

038c6de3-33f9-4d6f-8f73-6eb2b0d26776-0
00:30:29.560 --> 00:30:30.200
Love it.

48b789e7-43fb-4388-8ed3-d35788f39129-0
00:30:30.200 --> 00:30:34.982
It's and we've got this sort of offset
between this like chronically online,

48b789e7-43fb-4388-8ed3-d35788f39129-1
00:30:34.982 --> 00:30:38.956
kind of, shall I say,
loser kind of guy versus this view he has

48b789e7-43fb-4388-8ed3-d35788f39129-2
00:30:38.956 --> 00:30:39.640
of himself.

cb831528-f961-4092-86e0-afb1abbc0197-0
00:30:39.720 --> 00:30:42.240
Like he's got this expensive artwork kind
of thing.

45ed9c9f-3e69-4a45-bf75-d46df8f00d28-0
00:30:42.240 --> 00:30:46.880
He's got a Persian rug and you know,
he's prized monument and all of that.

3ce50b64-5a14-4db3-97cc-6e21d3ffdc6a-0
00:30:46.880 --> 00:30:48.520
He's got this view of himself.

b437be79-e772-4ec2-930a-78365d5c1ee9-0
00:30:48.520 --> 00:30:50.680
But then maybe the reality is a little
bit different.

63b6440c-1b49-4ccc-bf01-7dd4bfe64f27-0
00:30:50.680 --> 00:30:55.831
And I think all of that is building a
very strong picture and it's really fun

63b6440c-1b49-4ccc-bf01-7dd4bfe64f27-1
00:30:55.831 --> 00:30:56.360
as well.

96f60d6e-56c3-452d-9249-d19555de6dfa-0
00:30:56.360 --> 00:30:57.520
Like that contradiction.

f9d282c7-3b9f-4bed-a202-350d675ba934-0
00:30:57.960 --> 00:30:59.440
So all of that is fantastic.

77a91f20-5e62-4cdc-8a3e-3851bea69318-0
00:30:59.760 --> 00:31:02.360
And it has to be said that this was a
third placing story.

181f4937-381f-43c0-8f69-ae37001e1175-0
00:31:02.360 --> 00:31:05.757
So a lot of my feedback when we were
going through the editing process was

181f4937-381f-43c0-8f69-ae37001e1175-1
00:31:05.757 --> 00:31:08.520
like, I love this bit, I love this bit,
I love this bit too.

853cdd82-3183-40c4-ad9f-f4e9971659d0-0
00:31:08.800 --> 00:31:11.360
And I,
I think that's how it went going through.

4c157350-5d3c-48ce-a615-a01bcfdcbf99-0
00:31:11.360 --> 00:31:14.220
And we did get into detail at certain
points of like, oh,

4c157350-5d3c-48ce-a615-a01bcfdcbf99-1
00:31:14.220 --> 00:31:17.080
switch this word around and like,
break this sentence up.

6d53dfb7-abb1-4aad-ba0c-c78c22c0adb7-0
00:31:17.080 --> 00:31:18.680
So we did get down to that level.

055d1f9c-86a3-4b47-b6ac-2fd934b6bee6-0
00:31:19.080 --> 00:31:23.480
But one thing I did suggest to Zara,
so once we get to he's watching the Wes

055d1f9c-86a3-4b47-b6ac-2fd934b6bee6-1
00:31:23.480 --> 00:31:26.737
Anderson film,
he ignores his dealer's advice to not try

055d1f9c-86a3-4b47-b6ac-2fd934b6bee6-2
00:31:26.737 --> 00:31:31.137
acid alone for the first time and to
emphatically avoid mixing it with other

055d1f9c-86a3-4b47-b6ac-2fd934b6bee6-3
00:31:31.137 --> 00:31:31.480
drugs.

46a26271-f719-46bc-b36c-f1a40d6d4be0-0
00:31:31.680 --> 00:31:34.827
And I suggested at that point maybe to
dramatise that a bit,

46a26271-f719-46bc-b36c-f1a40d6d4be0-1
00:31:34.827 --> 00:31:38.387
like the remembered dialogue from that
conversation with the dealer,

46a26271-f719-46bc-b36c-f1a40d6d4be0-2
00:31:38.387 --> 00:31:40.400
because it's sort of summarised it out.

f142d4e3-0a4f-4b7e-8d6f-a75af3f66292-0
00:31:40.880 --> 00:31:41.880
And there's nothing wrong with that.

92cb2acf-44cf-464b-b2bc-cea37be3ee97-0
00:31:41.880 --> 00:31:44.800
It's not necessarily a detail we need to
dwell on.

1e746d7e-eeea-48d2-97cf-957011308b31-0
00:31:45.120 --> 00:31:47.710
But yeah,
what's he actually remembering there Like

1e746d7e-eeea-48d2-97cf-957011308b31-1
00:31:47.710 --> 00:31:47.960
this?

518a0062-ebda-4a81-b545-b5ff57225199-0
00:31:47.960 --> 00:31:50.242
It's sort of a little bit of a mouthful,
you know,

518a0062-ebda-4a81-b545-b5ff57225199-1
00:31:50.242 --> 00:31:52.480
to emphatically avoid mixing it with
other drugs.

8b1f837f-30ab-41c3-bdfb-708599b07426-0
00:31:52.480 --> 00:31:54.083
Like,
is that what he's thinking or is he

8b1f837f-30ab-41c3-bdfb-708599b07426-1
00:31:54.083 --> 00:31:55.840
actually remembering what the deal is
saying?

7fc02658-bc33-433e-97ba-db3830efc69f-0
00:31:55.840 --> 00:32:00.849
So what I did also love was how quickly
and easily Zara dropped us into this

7fc02658-bc33-433e-97ba-db3830efc69f-1
00:32:00.849 --> 00:32:01.760
hallucination.

e8f10fcd-1c83-4770-bcad-5d27d787965f-0
00:32:01.840 --> 00:32:05.070
Like, one minute he's watching a movie,
the next minute there's a dragon under

e8f10fcd-1c83-4770-bcad-5d27d787965f-1
00:32:05.070 --> 00:32:05.520
the stairs.

2292e8fe-f3d0-4b21-84fa-040165d817f7-0
00:32:05.680 --> 00:32:07.960
And none of us are questioning anything
we've set up.

6b7bf9d8-f59b-40d0-a3ee-d62d39fae3f4-0
00:32:07.960 --> 00:32:09.640
We're ready to go when the dragon appears.

42167fd2-72af-4a3c-800c-114bce2c77bc-0
00:32:09.920 --> 00:32:10.640
It's not a shock.

130394a9-21ee-4eb4-88eb-df71857690d1-0
00:32:10.800 --> 00:32:12.960
Yeah, there's no time passes moment here.

2e0d84f1-d349-4d3b-92a6-73bac38ee313-0
00:32:12.960 --> 00:32:14.960
We're just straight in,
which makes a lot of sense.

526af40b-e7a9-4107-92d6-a30028ba2926-0
00:32:14.960 --> 00:32:17.680
We know enough about Dave to move on at
this point.

c234719d-3e8b-4df3-8d19-63e29590f60e-0
00:32:17.680 --> 00:32:18.520
We've got our setup.

2a5e3e66-a75b-434e-be86-c0523343314b-0
00:32:18.840 --> 00:32:20.760
I did, however,
suggest a scene break there.

9f779e30-3a4a-4cf4-9fea-1f391ae1ba28-0
00:32:20.760 --> 00:32:21.600
We didn't have one.

abe9e912-2774-4d52-8f89-b22c86bdef46-0
00:32:21.600 --> 00:32:22.080
So.

eab6849f-82ac-4bec-9fb5-1f05129f4daf-0
00:32:22.480 --> 00:32:26.817
And that's more from a print publishing
point of view that you have a double line

eab6849f-82ac-4bec-9fb5-1f05129f4daf-1
00:32:26.817 --> 00:32:28.880
break and, you know, start a new scene.

cf5ed362-e099-4b2e-81cb-a7135d16b79c-0
00:32:28.880 --> 00:32:31.961
Some people separate it with little
asterisks or whatever,

cf5ed362-e099-4b2e-81cb-a7135d16b79c-1
00:32:31.961 --> 00:32:35.200
but it just gives you that beat to
realise time's passed, OK.

0c76a3b7-4c1c-4592-9c13-6f6688dd5634-0
00:32:35.200 --> 00:32:36.480
And you don't even have to say that.

65338088-f0ad-4c2f-b16f-de55f0be0cca-0
00:32:37.160 --> 00:32:40.466
One thing that I found a little difficult
was there was this mention of the Wes

65338088-f0ad-4c2f-b16f-de55f0be0cca-1
00:32:40.466 --> 00:32:42.120
Anderson film, but I actually lost that.

d6eaea60-482e-4636-b7e6-cddee2fa2225-0
00:32:42.120 --> 00:32:45.240
And I think you probably covered it well
when you were reading there.

0b345fc9-2a7e-4e7b-a17e-1751d7ce0927-0
00:32:45.600 --> 00:32:48.280
But I didn't really register that he was
watching a film.

eff0d618-89ac-42ba-bf09-54b6edc60d87-0
00:32:48.480 --> 00:32:51.400
And so that kind of confused me a little.

b3b70acb-f210-423c-b69c-bcdf31a7a8e8-0
00:32:51.640 --> 00:32:54.680
And maybe that's just reflective of me
not paying enough attention.

a5f1602f-23a2-4599-8f31-b36814adc871-0
00:32:54.920 --> 00:32:58.698
But sometimes I think if a detail's kind
of just dropped in,

a5f1602f-23a2-4599-8f31-b36814adc871-1
00:32:58.698 --> 00:33:01.920
you risk the reader forgetting you've
mentioned it.

7c5bff97-95f4-4c11-87a6-9060e5a302d8-0
00:33:01.920 --> 00:33:04.200
And that's where beta readers can come in
and go hang on.

443069da-e6e2-4b45-9bcb-d06474f1522f-0
00:33:04.200 --> 00:33:06.200
I forgot he was watching a film.

6af10261-791d-4087-b5b3-c71f3880ec85-0
00:33:06.680 --> 00:33:09.600
Can you sort of put in a little reminder
of that?

b06dce14-2c50-421c-b635-9bdfaed13348-0
00:33:09.640 --> 00:33:13.040
And so that's that role there in the
editing process as well.

4ee5711a-d22f-418f-b02d-019c88d52932-0
00:33:13.040 --> 00:33:14.960
To just say he's my experience as a
reader.

2e2ca333-887f-4e3a-9de1-20eae52383a8-0
00:33:14.960 --> 00:33:17.440
It may not be everyone,
but that bit was lost on me.

e355f2db-6c13-4f71-bcd3-07389bcd02ec-0
00:33:17.640 --> 00:33:18.040
Yeah.

f6cf5663-57a0-428a-8328-80bc1a2e5653-0
00:33:18.040 --> 00:33:19.480
I mean, there's some minor points there.

cabaed05-5a9d-4d69-97f9-80aa523c1394-0
00:33:19.480 --> 00:33:23.560
And just around the the film,
it's not really critical to the plot.

d9f6d8bc-1353-469b-a729-3923aecbb785-0
00:33:23.680 --> 00:33:28.400
And I wonder if it's the idea of watching
a movie like Fantastic Mr.

6b4ffd97-56d1-4a72-ab79-f3644ce8c43a-0
00:33:28.400 --> 00:33:33.966
Fox with it's like weird animations is
what's setting up kind of the visuals of

6b4ffd97-56d1-4a72-ab79-f3644ce8c43a-1
00:33:33.966 --> 00:33:35.080
this next scene.

bea0e860-cc76-4379-93de-cfe0e8c5aebb-0
00:33:35.760 --> 00:33:38.800
But it's not actually that critical to
the plot.

0270b2b5-5488-41e4-8e3b-854c5161fc28-0
00:33:38.800 --> 00:33:40.640
And he could be doing anything.

74955d23-c839-484e-925a-f97c0d4e7d8d-0
00:33:40.720 --> 00:33:43.224
He's watching the movie,
he takes the drugs,

74955d23-c839-484e-925a-f97c0d4e7d8d-1
00:33:43.224 --> 00:33:44.560
and then the movie ends.

2ccdd458-ba67-4afa-8707-275659a95801-0
00:33:44.600 --> 00:33:45.920
I think maybe that's the issue.

8666a749-ee3c-4a74-b8ef-60419982433f-0
00:33:45.920 --> 00:33:49.432
It was kind of glossed over so quickly
that we didn't really ever linger in that

8666a749-ee3c-4a74-b8ef-60419982433f-1
00:33:49.432 --> 00:33:51.080
moment long enough for it to register.

2b5d58d2-aa01-40ae-9fe1-3059b7b070c4-0
00:33:51.080 --> 00:33:52.080
That's what he was doing.

2e96ecbb-42af-4af9-b223-58e75788da1f-0
00:33:52.080 --> 00:33:54.267
I mean,
and maybe this comes back to Zara's

2e96ecbb-42af-4af9-b223-58e75788da1f-1
00:33:54.267 --> 00:33:57.400
question where she's saying I can picture
this all in my mind.

920865c1-02f0-4148-b5fa-f7e226034027-0
00:33:57.400 --> 00:33:57.520
Yeah.

9fb940f3-a425-4ce4-8309-ebd9ef4d03b6-0
00:33:57.720 --> 00:33:59.040
How well is that translating?

76dee366-71d6-438c-be1f-f27f9c80decb-0
00:33:59.040 --> 00:34:01.290
Well,
maybe that's an example of a moment where

76dee366-71d6-438c-be1f-f27f9c80decb-1
00:34:01.290 --> 00:34:04.149
as Sara's writing,
she's picturing him on the couch and he's

76dee366-71d6-438c-be1f-f27f9c80decb-2
00:34:04.149 --> 00:34:05.040
watching this film.

802b2193-514f-4ecd-a579-8b2799211d84-0
00:34:05.040 --> 00:34:09.307
And that's there's a whole extra bit of
like direction that happens there that

802b2193-514f-4ecd-a579-8b2799211d84-1
00:34:09.307 --> 00:34:13.466
didn't actually come onto the page where
he sits in front of the TV and he's

802b2193-514f-4ecd-a579-8b2799211d84-2
00:34:13.466 --> 00:34:16.600
watching it for a little while before he
has this moment.

a8b0d764-77cc-41b0-be2a-9979c614c1de-0
00:34:16.720 --> 00:34:20.254
I feel like there was maybe an
opportunity there because while Fantastic

a8b0d764-77cc-41b0-be2a-9979c614c1de-1
00:34:20.254 --> 00:34:20.400
Mr.

e1f0ed45-8f10-4b32-9bc7-1edca0c524c5-0
00:34:20.400 --> 00:34:21.921
Fox,
it's been a long time since I've seen

e1f0ed45-8f10-4b32-9bc7-1edca0c524c5-1
00:34:21.921 --> 00:34:23.160
that movie, but I've never seen it.

52e35a7c-9104-4f1b-8bde-9e2b0604f364-0
00:34:23.160 --> 00:34:23.440
So.

3d4c8017-0806-4cab-8f42-6a477b7a43bc-0
00:34:23.560 --> 00:34:25.920
But thematically, does it fit?

3adf9f4a-f4c1-4d6e-bf24-5c0b22a2ad5a-0
00:34:26.080 --> 00:34:27.760
Yeah,
really what you're trying to say here.

4b60e3b8-c73d-493f-b20e-310d85dc936b-0
00:34:27.760 --> 00:34:31.616
And it to some degree, again,
the quirkiness of it and the weird stuff

4b60e3b8-c73d-493f-b20e-310d85dc936b-1
00:34:31.616 --> 00:34:32.920
happening might lead in.

ba355601-fecb-40a3-a4cd-8009fa957b39-0
00:34:32.920 --> 00:34:36.423
But I wonder if it would be better to
have a movie like what's the one from the

ba355601-fecb-40a3-a4cd-8009fa957b39-1
00:34:36.423 --> 00:34:39.621
80s with the carnivorous plant,
Little Shop of Horrors or something like

ba355601-fecb-40a3-a4cd-8009fa957b39-2
00:34:39.621 --> 00:34:39.840
that.

d0a39ebc-91be-45ba-9b39-f61683e5aa7a-0
00:34:40.160 --> 00:34:42.915
You know,
something plant related that features a

d0a39ebc-91be-45ba-9b39-f61683e5aa7a-1
00:34:42.915 --> 00:34:47.160
plant quite heavily that might then
inspire the next moments with the plant.

ee2cbcb7-a32c-42ce-9fd4-ff41aee02f2e-0
00:34:47.360 --> 00:34:49.440
Maybe there is that moment in Fantastic
Mr.

8f8ec722-308b-4601-a2b8-04d655ca78b1-0
00:34:49.440 --> 00:34:51.800
Fox that I'm forgetting about because it
again, has been a while.

138d4b6b-91d8-4809-ae7e-a6d46188695f-0
00:34:52.160 --> 00:34:55.429
But yeah, maybe thematically,
if you're kind of going into plants,

138d4b6b-91d8-4809-ae7e-a6d46188695f-1
00:34:55.429 --> 00:34:59.040
what is the trigger that makes plants in
this state of mind that he's in,

138d4b6b-91d8-4809-ae7e-a6d46188695f-2
00:34:59.040 --> 00:35:01.480
that makes plants become the focal point
for him?

c03d0f06-9dbc-40e2-9c31-6cadf979802e-0
00:35:01.760 --> 00:35:02.560
Yeah, I don't know.

40fd1c76-72f7-4292-91ae-b63fa6ddb575-0
00:35:02.560 --> 00:35:04.537
I mean,
there's a lot of options here because you

40fd1c76-72f7-4292-91ae-b63fa6ddb575-1
00:35:04.537 --> 00:35:06.040
could take it a lot of different ways.

52d989b0-ac96-4827-9cdd-8f2ab297deb3-0
00:35:06.040 --> 00:35:06.640
I don't know.

eb24eaf9-61c0-44aa-be7c-734201622007-0
00:35:06.640 --> 00:35:07.560
Fantastic Mr.

957c5b9d-8ee7-4ff8-853d-8b11806624e3-0
00:35:07.560 --> 00:35:07.840
Fox.

7382b74e-7180-428e-86f6-e7b4ba92b938-0
00:35:07.840 --> 00:35:11.909
So that's another issue, I guess,
that you're trying to create something

7382b74e-7180-428e-86f6-e7b4ba92b938-1
00:35:11.909 --> 00:35:16.256
but maybe not all readers are really
picking up on because it's not enough of

7382b74e-7180-428e-86f6-e7b4ba92b938-2
00:35:16.256 --> 00:35:19.880
a pop culture reference for everyone to
sort of reliably get it.

3e3c98fd-029d-4cc6-8bb1-13ed48337029-0
00:35:19.880 --> 00:35:22.120
Like you might with like,
Jurassic Park or something.

cab1b900-dae5-43f0-b56b-4807014696b5-0
00:35:22.120 --> 00:35:23.400
Like something more popular than.

b2d53cbb-3bf9-42ab-ae9b-9af658aadad6-0
00:35:23.880 --> 00:35:27.560
Is there a movie that's more reflective
of who he is as a person as well?

6f2480e5-6a3d-42a8-9577-ef9d243381f2-0
00:35:27.560 --> 00:35:30.120
Like, what kind of movie would Dave watch?

eaa82396-e636-4ae5-acf3-f50f64923b43-0
00:35:30.120 --> 00:35:33.320
Like if he's the kind of person who's
maybe a bit of a loser,

eaa82396-e636-4ae5-acf3-f50f64923b43-1
00:35:33.320 --> 00:35:36.160
but who has a pretty high,
I think that does hit that.

6b7f29f7-8787-4355-8186-de257bbf35b0-0
00:35:36.520 --> 00:35:36.800
OK.

3a48f70a-8c2e-463c-9238-b7b390f97121-0
00:35:36.800 --> 00:35:40.320
Because, you know, not to generalise,
but it is a bit of a film, bro movie.

687819ac-5456-4fa9-87b6-16a7d53c4a00-0
00:35:40.440 --> 00:35:41.400
OK, Right.

d07cd6ed-dd4e-49e4-916d-95201f1ab637-0
00:35:41.440 --> 00:35:42.800
You know, for a certain type.

62a57d68-82f0-4558-af3b-0ad3bd40a0d5-0
00:35:43.480 --> 00:35:44.480
So that could be the angle.

2c82e6ae-2419-47e6-8a5e-940b60d0363a-0
00:35:44.480 --> 00:35:46.120
Well, I mean, clearly it is.

fcef4e13-6cac-4fce-a7b0-9e0c87a3de44-0
00:35:46.120 --> 00:35:49.200
And I guess that's just a part that was
lost on me, but it didn't matter.

21887043-cc41-4df3-b995-7f7ca459a696-0
00:35:49.200 --> 00:35:51.760
Like, it's not like it, I was confused.

90af849d-36e9-4668-b8b0-a300dea16127-0
00:35:51.760 --> 00:35:53.760
I just moved on and didn't notice it,
I guess.

92d53c9a-4d4a-4d4f-b3ec-40a55c40fd55-0
00:35:53.760 --> 00:35:56.070
And maybe had I been more familiar with
the movie,

92d53c9a-4d4a-4d4f-b3ec-40a55c40fd55-1
00:35:56.070 --> 00:35:59.740
maybe that moment would have resonated
with me more and I wouldn't have had that

92d53c9a-4d4a-4d4f-b3ec-40a55c40fd55-2
00:35:59.740 --> 00:36:02.639
issue of sort of forgetting he was
watching the film and stuff.

608447b0-509e-4557-9595-d9e5564bb8c8-0
00:36:03.280 --> 00:36:05.160
But look, then we get the dragon, right?

3cce1f6a-e648-4b4a-b5fa-96835ae03515-0
00:36:05.240 --> 00:36:09.320
And again, that that kind of idea of,
well, we're going from Fantastic Mr.

9cf0fdfd-1d51-469e-97ad-04c17b7f3678-0
00:36:09.320 --> 00:36:11.400
Fox to dragon to plant.

607e58fd-d063-4699-b8a2-59cf0cfd99bf-0
00:36:11.920 --> 00:36:15.292
And while it is all tied up in the drug
kind of induced thing,

607e58fd-d063-4699-b8a2-59cf0cfd99bf-1
00:36:15.292 --> 00:36:19.735
maybe there's an opportunity to make it a
little bit more cohesive in terms of the

607e58fd-d063-4699-b8a2-59cf0cfd99bf-2
00:36:19.735 --> 00:36:22.465
characters,
the cast of characters that are coming

607e58fd-d063-4699-b8a2-59cf0cfd99bf-3
00:36:22.465 --> 00:36:22.680
out.

887d9271-33ac-4100-870f-9b63f822d02d-0
00:36:23.160 --> 00:36:26.651
I don't know the dragon,
where does it come from in the inputs

887d9271-33ac-4100-870f-9b63f822d02d-1
00:36:26.651 --> 00:36:27.760
into this acid trip?

a0798119-d3db-46e1-8039-daa4fb55eb79-0
00:36:27.960 --> 00:36:31.600
Don't speak to a dragon to me,
if you if that makes sense.

f4aac95e-27c1-42ba-9284-88f102338ef6-0
00:36:31.760 --> 00:36:33.120
Not that it's terribly out of place.

a7d7da0e-7476-4c8f-9f0d-53ed2d4691b5-0
00:36:33.120 --> 00:36:35.357
Like if if he's on drugs and he's
hallucinating,

a7d7da0e-7476-4c8f-9f0d-53ed2d4691b5-1
00:36:35.357 --> 00:36:37.640
a dragon might be the kind of thing that
you see.

43efe0c6-2945-466a-ae31-90060525e14f-0
00:36:37.720 --> 00:36:39.560
But I'm just not sure where it's coming
from.

5c6389b9-42b4-4b3c-9862-1527e2945117-0
00:36:39.560 --> 00:36:40.000
I guess.

218ffb39-49bc-41e6-a65b-8f4b65bc6008-0
00:36:40.200 --> 00:36:44.078
I guess in a movie, you might start with,
as we have here,

218ffb39-49bc-41e6-a65b-8f4b65bc6008-1
00:36:44.078 --> 00:36:49.205
the items in the room and then like,
and they get foreshadowed earlier in the

218ffb39-49bc-41e6-a65b-8f4b65bc6008-2
00:36:49.205 --> 00:36:49.600
movie.

4d3b8312-cfee-41ba-b6ea-f8738ec96f4b-0
00:36:49.640 --> 00:36:52.438
You know,
he interacts with these items in his home

4d3b8312-cfee-41ba-b6ea-f8738ec96f4b-1
00:36:52.438 --> 00:36:55.397
earlier in the film,
and then once his acid trip hits,

4d3b8312-cfee-41ba-b6ea-f8738ec96f4b-2
00:36:55.397 --> 00:36:58.680
they all start to pay off because they're
coming back again.

e628352b-589d-4ea5-90c7-ad31ef03be26-0
00:36:58.680 --> 00:37:00.760
So I think that works.

8a2f1568-cb5a-4028-918e-bdd40822cc5f-0
00:37:00.760 --> 00:37:03.811
Like, we haven't, I guess,
really been introduced to all of those

8a2f1568-cb5a-4028-918e-bdd40822cc5f-1
00:37:03.811 --> 00:37:06.400
items before they start appearing in the
hallucination.

06e748f4-d98d-491b-905e-dd7549707182-0
00:37:06.400 --> 00:37:09.040
But if this was a film,
you would have perhaps seen them.

579d9800-7bde-4a61-b70b-f6ddb5256ffa-0
00:37:09.600 --> 00:37:11.685
And yeah,
maybe there's an opportunity there to

579d9800-7bde-4a61-b70b-f6ddb5256ffa-1
00:37:11.685 --> 00:37:12.120
refine it.

8cedb47b-4e6f-4dcc-b018-e4b05010f603-0
00:37:12.440 --> 00:37:17.199
One thing I did challenge in my feedback
to Zara was just around the items that

8cedb47b-4e6f-4dcc-b018-e4b05010f603-1
00:37:17.199 --> 00:37:21.840
are in Dave's home and how that resonated
with me in terms of his characters.

c87aab22-42ec-42f0-bc5f-1e68923dce34-0
00:37:21.840 --> 00:37:24.034
So there's this mention of a framed
Waterhouse,

c87aab22-42ec-42f0-bc5f-1e68923dce34-1
00:37:24.034 --> 00:37:25.680
and I'm not familiar with that name.

f07982ae-caf5-4e79-a40c-32635d71c857-0
00:37:25.680 --> 00:37:27.080
I'm not big into art.

0e05f345-ed25-4943-bc29-e2820d7428a2-0
00:37:27.080 --> 00:37:29.600
So, you know,
we just casually mention Waterhouse.

894986ec-1775-4a89-87e5-dfa5cdcf844d-0
00:37:29.600 --> 00:37:31.880
That's a little bit of assumed knowledge
there.

6dea6ddf-c49a-44eb-82e4-005336303439-0
00:37:31.880 --> 00:37:36.015
But once I looked it up, I'm thinking, OK,
this is interesting that this guy would

6dea6ddf-c49a-44eb-82e4-005336303439-1
00:37:36.015 --> 00:37:37.560
have this painting in his home.

7945536d-38ef-4a00-9024-33082878d661-0
00:37:37.800 --> 00:37:41.795
It was interesting to me that he would
have a Persian rug in his home,

7945536d-38ef-4a00-9024-33082878d661-1
00:37:41.795 --> 00:37:44.440
that he would have Venetian masks on the
wall.

94745dac-9cf7-41ff-ac95-5c851748ed1d-0
00:37:44.880 --> 00:37:48.240
It didn't fit, I guess with, you know,
you're saying film bro.

8b0d9731-c3e4-47e4-a829-b2a5a8f33c45-0
00:37:48.240 --> 00:37:52.528
Like it didn't fit with this view I had
of him being sort of chronically online

8b0d9731-c3e4-47e4-a829-b2a5a8f33c45-1
00:37:52.528 --> 00:37:53.600
and stuff like that.

3e9e3fad-1c9b-4511-b2be-ffb6a2975900-0
00:37:53.960 --> 00:37:58.314
Certainly fit from a sense of he likes
fancy things and he likes to sort of

3e9e3fad-1c9b-4511-b2be-ffb6a2975900-1
00:37:58.314 --> 00:38:00.320
surround himself with fancy things.

4be33c13-6ca2-4814-97b9-093d72cfd3b7-0
00:38:00.320 --> 00:38:02.240
They make him feel like a big man.

94fb29ec-d224-4b00-bf74-738ea1ebb724-0
00:38:02.720 --> 00:38:05.515
But I don't know,
the choice of things like there was sort

94fb29ec-d224-4b00-bf74-738ea1ebb724-1
00:38:05.515 --> 00:38:08.548
of a femininity about it a little bit and
and things like that,

94fb29ec-d224-4b00-bf74-738ea1ebb724-2
00:38:08.548 --> 00:38:12.197
that to me weren't playing into or
feeding into that character that had been

94fb29ec-d224-4b00-bf74-738ea1ebb724-3
00:38:12.197 --> 00:38:16.035
established in the start with the edging
and the gooning and all of this sort of

94fb29ec-d224-4b00-bf74-738ea1ebb724-4
00:38:16.035 --> 00:38:16.320
stuff.

8837e653-1f0b-4837-832f-e45c78a611a8-0
00:38:16.320 --> 00:38:19.720
So I did challenge some of that Zara push
back on some of that.

8af7dfc2-2a41-446b-ba90-8a6791472005-0
00:38:19.720 --> 00:38:21.680
So those items remain.

5d03b5d9-e02c-4f21-b2c6-8e13ecbbc61c-0
00:38:21.680 --> 00:38:24.520
But like the nymphs,
like I just wasn't sure.

10024c28-775b-4e7a-a8db-77bc1f14afbe-0
00:38:24.560 --> 00:38:29.262
Is this the guy who's picturing nymphs as
the first thing and you know that he

10024c28-775b-4e7a-a8db-77bc1f14afbe-1
00:38:29.262 --> 00:38:32.000
pictures when he's having this
hallucination?

038ef52a-2b90-4806-9f05-daf69060939e-0
00:38:32.280 --> 00:38:32.640
I don't know.

a31529e6-a2af-4f79-8d68-d8c46263998d-0
00:38:32.720 --> 00:38:37.171
My opinion is that it doesn't fit,
but it does add a bit of colour too that

a31529e6-a2af-4f79-8d68-d8c46263998d-1
00:38:37.171 --> 00:38:39.280
is maybe unexpected and interesting.

c9256701-2646-4174-a63e-56bb7c01bd8c-0
00:38:39.520 --> 00:38:41.795
I think something should be said for,
you know,

c9256701-2646-4174-a63e-56bb7c01bd8c-1
00:38:41.795 --> 00:38:44.640
maybe throwing in a few details that set
up your character.

293bb120-34b1-423e-971e-98c17571ef79-0
00:38:44.720 --> 00:38:47.353
You could give the online references the
movie,

293bb120-34b1-423e-971e-98c17571ef79-1
00:38:47.353 --> 00:38:51.798
maybe one other thing and then let the
reader kind of put those together and get

293bb120-34b1-423e-971e-98c17571ef79-2
00:38:51.798 --> 00:38:53.280
a picture of the character.

41598dda-afe3-4daf-a1f2-799d46bc8a95-0
00:38:53.680 --> 00:38:56.369
But could be the case that if you start
adding to that,

41598dda-afe3-4daf-a1f2-799d46bc8a95-1
00:38:56.369 --> 00:38:59.107
it gets a little bit muddled because now
you're kind of,

41598dda-afe3-4daf-a1f2-799d46bc8a95-2
00:38:59.107 --> 00:39:03.093
you might be thinking about two or three
different kinds of people that might have

41598dda-afe3-4daf-a1f2-799d46bc8a95-3
00:39:03.093 --> 00:39:05.879
some of those qualities,
but not necessarily all of those

41598dda-afe3-4daf-a1f2-799d46bc8a95-4
00:39:05.879 --> 00:39:06.360
qualities.

3c533c2b-a86a-4965-aadc-48e6798060ff-0
00:39:06.360 --> 00:39:10.640
And now you're trying to pack in quite a
complex character into a story.

bae99bd3-8caa-4d48-ba2b-7feae2e2a0c9-0
00:39:11.040 --> 00:39:14.040
We don't need to know maybe all of that
about the character.

e667433d-000a-41f9-951f-4e8a1cc6aac4-0
00:39:14.040 --> 00:39:16.080
It's not all adding value necessarily.

539147a4-5440-464a-a7d7-cceda23f5b01-0
00:39:16.080 --> 00:39:19.634
Yeah, At some point it it,
it stops being we're getting to know this

539147a4-5440-464a-a7d7-cceda23f5b01-1
00:39:19.634 --> 00:39:23.188
character and becomes like,
how do I reconcile all of these things I

539147a4-5440-464a-a7d7-cceda23f5b01-2
00:39:23.188 --> 00:39:26.640
know about the character and which are
relevant to and pay it off?

a825f28a-6623-449b-a000-947cb5af4480-0
00:39:26.720 --> 00:39:27.080
Kind of.

9e9607cc-34b1-4512-b743-795b0c6e56e4-0
00:39:27.080 --> 00:39:27.760
Yeah, exactly.

976f5e71-90ad-41af-9ea2-71fd5885897b-0
00:39:27.760 --> 00:39:28.280
And pay it off.

4be9d1b3-1a27-4781-bc8d-12a1a82db78f-0
00:39:28.280 --> 00:39:28.600
Yeah.

7800363c-eb1a-40e7-ada0-77147327f11d-0
00:39:28.600 --> 00:39:30.920
I guess there's a couple of ways of
looking at it.

f3dc45e8-9e9e-4daf-bb0d-182fa1303357-0
00:39:30.920 --> 00:39:34.510
And so one is, you know,
if we're talking about refining a story

f3dc45e8-9e9e-4daf-bb0d-182fa1303357-1
00:39:34.510 --> 00:39:37.879
in the art of storytelling,
and we talk about flash fiction,

f3dc45e8-9e9e-4daf-bb0d-182fa1303357-2
00:39:37.879 --> 00:39:41.192
very short fiction,
every element of your story needs to be

f3dc45e8-9e9e-4daf-bb0d-182fa1303357-3
00:39:41.192 --> 00:39:43.788
adding value,
contributing to either character

f3dc45e8-9e9e-4daf-bb0d-182fa1303357-4
00:39:43.788 --> 00:39:45.280
development or to the plot.

0724f8f7-03eb-47ba-8266-6c81f4b76f45-0
00:39:45.280 --> 00:39:47.280
If it's not doing that, why is it there?

2f2103dd-b0ae-4687-9d3a-d02436c18816-0
00:39:47.360 --> 00:39:49.120
It's like you're telling your friend a
story.

cb0d320b-d4b7-4869-85cf-bb088472aa1d-0
00:39:49.440 --> 00:39:51.000
Why are you giving me this detail?

7d749ef7-572e-431f-9171-396fe209c7d8-0
00:39:51.000 --> 00:39:53.480
Because then later they go, hang on,
what happened there?

7c3e7b54-d5f6-4c29-8f6d-4ea9bc640706-0
00:39:53.480 --> 00:39:54.960
You like, Oh no, no, no,
forget about that.

0701d4d3-ce03-4d28-a521-1425d7d933f2-0
00:39:54.960 --> 00:39:56.160
That had nothing to do with it.

ce85aa91-cefb-44f0-9118-2c52503ec5cd-0
00:39:56.560 --> 00:39:58.760
That's kind of the experience of the
reader.

cabf5419-d47b-4ba1-b67e-23eee3b2966d-0
00:39:58.760 --> 00:40:01.434
And you think, well,
if you're going to put it in,

cabf5419-d47b-4ba1-b67e-23eee3b2966d-1
00:40:01.434 --> 00:40:02.640
you need to pay it off.

3f46fa1f-0067-40a6-84fe-548edbbed2d6-0
00:40:02.680 --> 00:40:04.240
Otherwise why is it there?

dd035c61-ef59-4a99-80a9-e4246c8d254e-0
00:40:04.240 --> 00:40:08.275
And if it's not getting paid off if for
example you have a dragon that you never

dd035c61-ef59-4a99-80a9-e4246c8d254e-1
00:40:08.275 --> 00:40:09.720
hear from again in the story.

947b3b9a-b2b1-4213-a0e7-b80d1e3ccb76-0
00:40:10.200 --> 00:40:12.160
Why was the dragon there in the 1st place?

790ccb4e-5618-4896-b953-5fb8371973be-0
00:40:12.160 --> 00:40:13.880
Now, that's all valid questions.

dfc37cf6-04c6-4900-9646-d46863d8d9b8-0
00:40:13.880 --> 00:40:19.280
And the other way to look at it is this
is entertainment and this is just giving

dfc37cf6-04c6-4900-9646-d46863d8d9b8-1
00:40:19.280 --> 00:40:19.880
a visual.

457d2d2f-ed0b-47d8-889a-5bbb8f293c46-0
00:40:19.880 --> 00:40:23.345
And Zara has described it as like,
I had this image in my head and you can

457d2d2f-ed0b-47d8-889a-5bbb8f293c46-1
00:40:23.345 --> 00:40:27.180
picture the movie scene where all of this
chaotic **** is happening and all it is,

457d2d2f-ed0b-47d8-889a-5bbb8f293c46-2
00:40:27.180 --> 00:40:27.919
is an acid trip.

6372fc22-55af-4ca9-b5c9-6ebc5006d010-0
00:40:27.920 --> 00:40:29.640
It doesn't have to make sense, you know?

f8f17c97-adcf-4db2-90a4-31a90c3e221c-0
00:40:30.000 --> 00:40:33.800
So there's that side of it as well where
it's OK to just be like,

f8f17c97-adcf-4db2-90a4-31a90c3e221c-1
00:40:33.800 --> 00:40:38.177
it's chaos and there's crazy ****
happening and it's just for entertainment

f8f17c97-adcf-4db2-90a4-31a90c3e221c-2
00:40:38.177 --> 00:40:41.920
and not for like reader satisfaction and
storytelling, you know?

d0bd453f-1dfd-449d-b392-be07577a970b-0
00:40:41.920 --> 00:40:46.036
And I would probably tend towards caring
more about the storytelling and wanting

d0bd453f-1dfd-449d-b392-be07577a970b-1
00:40:46.036 --> 00:40:50.253
to refine it and wanting to think through
which elements I feature and which maybe

d0bd453f-1dfd-449d-b392-be07577a970b-2
00:40:50.253 --> 00:40:51.879
can make the cutting room floor.

99bc1096-441f-45c1-9f48-c9ddfb1a8eac-0
00:40:52.240 --> 00:40:54.687
But as you said,
I don't think there's anything here

99bc1096-441f-45c1-9f48-c9ddfb1a8eac-1
00:40:54.687 --> 00:40:57.920
that's like ruining the story or anything
like that that needs to go.

40a4925e-3ee2-4d8f-86c2-64a64196c2c1-0
00:40:58.240 --> 00:41:01.120
It's more an option that's available to
consider.

b38677b4-d0c6-4b20-a0bb-a493337fd12e-0
00:41:01.120 --> 00:41:05.556
Is this adding value at least as
entertainment or towards the plot or

b38677b4-d0c6-4b20-a0bb-a493337fd12e-1
00:41:05.556 --> 00:41:08.661
character,
or is it something that's maybe in my

b38677b4-d0c6-4b20-a0bb-a493337fd12e-2
00:41:08.661 --> 00:41:10.879
head but not necessarily value add?

dd797785-473d-4a5d-8c72-c6604d249041-0
00:41:11.160 --> 00:41:14.460
I mean, and to that point,
as we kind of step through this story,

dd797785-473d-4a5d-8c72-c6604d249041-1
00:41:14.460 --> 00:41:16.810
there's not a whole lot really that,
you know,

dd797785-473d-4a5d-8c72-c6604d249041-2
00:41:16.810 --> 00:41:20.760
personally that I'm going to be able to
add to this because it's a lot of fun.

3834bf44-f576-4468-ad55-5362ad97ad53-0
00:41:21.200 --> 00:41:24.726
And the words on the page,
the characters that are evoked here,

3834bf44-f576-4468-ad55-5362ad97ad53-1
00:41:24.726 --> 00:41:27.537
we've got, like, the dragon,
we've got the nymphs,

3834bf44-f576-4468-ad55-5362ad97ad53-2
00:41:27.537 --> 00:41:29.080
then we've got Fern herself.

c185c76e-a2d2-484b-92aa-0247dabe8ffb-0
00:41:29.520 --> 00:41:30.880
All of them are a lot of fun.

f7cab046-4000-4c41-8107-f513db614586-0
00:41:30.880 --> 00:41:32.280
And they've all got great lines.

78ced56f-28be-489f-a7d0-483400566a22-0
00:41:32.520 --> 00:41:36.320
And they say some funny **** and, like,
it's all great.

0f6f8850-d2f1-4135-bb51-2a332fd05a99-0
00:41:36.320 --> 00:41:39.280
Like, once the story gets going,
it really gets going.

724e4783-6ead-45e6-8ec3-6eaaca80ff50-0
00:41:39.480 --> 00:41:39.800
Yeah.

5b067e5f-0e03-4577-ab19-d3229c86b3e5-0
00:41:39.800 --> 00:41:43.093
I mean, again, like,
looking into the detail in the editing

5b067e5f-0e03-4577-ab19-d3229c86b3e5-1
00:41:43.093 --> 00:41:44.960
process, there were little things.

d2751ada-c347-45b5-86ac-bb2921767620-0
00:41:44.960 --> 00:41:48.109
Like, for example,
when Table is first mentioned as a

d2751ada-c347-45b5-86ac-bb2921767620-1
00:41:48.109 --> 00:41:51.200
character,
it's not clear that Table is a character.

68f53f6f-aa1b-49b1-824d-2a851ed03cfc-0
00:41:51.720 --> 00:41:52.920
It's capitalised.

b1bdfa7b-d10f-45d8-81da-37015f73b0d0-0
00:41:52.920 --> 00:41:55.320
And it takes you kind of a few seconds to
go.

b6708231-63b1-4d5a-88a7-2d74eca920e2-0
00:41:55.320 --> 00:41:55.760
Hang on.

ef9b3243-dda3-4e3d-ba2b-ec0afe19e64b-0
00:41:55.920 --> 00:41:57.920
That sentence didn't ring right in my ear.

17ffedf3-6f61-4496-abd2-6f18cc16a633-0
00:41:57.920 --> 00:41:58.480
Why not?

1ece3348-6193-4aae-be8c-13b5340a2ec3-0
00:41:58.720 --> 00:42:02.840
Oh, OK, Table is like sentient now,
a kind of thing.

84a8be65-bb20-417c-a5fa-461b58d31f4c-0
00:42:02.840 --> 00:42:06.200
And so that just needed to be signposted
a little better.

6efca05c-6cc2-4e45-9559-d8b9b8e3b395-0
00:42:06.200 --> 00:42:08.520
And it's the same when we get to the
other characters too.

6835f4c4-c4e0-48f0-b1c3-cfe856c08f81-0
00:42:08.520 --> 00:42:11.120
We've got the Yetis,
which are the Yeti slippers.

4b369e33-6c9a-483a-928c-ecaf930e1372-0
00:42:11.520 --> 00:42:13.810
But again,
by the time that was mentioned again,

4b369e33-6c9a-483a-928c-ecaf930e1372-1
00:42:13.810 --> 00:42:15.680
I'd forgotten he had left Yeti slippers.

2c6c2b0d-0b9d-4eb8-bfeb-b550a385cb5f-0
00:42:15.680 --> 00:42:18.840
So when it's the yetis,
I didn't know what that meant.

845f4bb2-8b12-4dd2-aa9d-40cfc4de70c5-0
00:42:19.160 --> 00:42:23.960
And it's talking about the William Morris
birds and the Brass Monkey Mafia.

be0f9ce8-0e4e-41ed-9d7b-ef70d7c8ec78-0
00:42:24.240 --> 00:42:26.200
These are references that are lost on me.

fe9fc6ea-1c16-4af2-a01f-ead7fca8c85c-0
00:42:26.360 --> 00:42:29.520
I don't know what those things are that
are being referenced there.

4030d11a-d8cf-4144-af16-cc389dc80551-0
00:42:29.640 --> 00:42:33.565
So just a little bit of signposting so
that we can share in that vision,

4030d11a-d8cf-4144-af16-cc389dc80551-1
00:42:33.565 --> 00:42:37.813
because I think some of those things are
quite specific and some just needed a

4030d11a-d8cf-4144-af16-cc389dc80551-2
00:42:37.813 --> 00:42:40.986
little bit more,
tiny bit more hand holding for the reader

4030d11a-d8cf-4144-af16-cc389dc80551-3
00:42:40.986 --> 00:42:42.600
to picture what was happening.

626fed2b-bf06-4569-9c9f-c583fa94f9b5-0
00:42:42.680 --> 00:42:44.720
Yeah,
there are a lot of different elements.

49709a94-4f27-4570-a278-a5b2998321d2-0
00:42:45.000 --> 00:42:47.960
You know, it's hard as a reader,
especially like first reading.

7509f2e1-25f6-4c78-baca-5cf3bee77d5d-0
00:42:47.960 --> 00:42:51.225
These are all washing over you,
and there's so many little references,

7509f2e1-25f6-4c78-baca-5cf3bee77d5d-1
00:42:51.225 --> 00:42:54.720
so many little details that you're not
going to remember every one of them.

8daa586c-8769-4772-af60-e60f26f18425-0
00:42:54.720 --> 00:42:57.793
And when they come back,
when one of them does come back a second

8daa586c-8769-4772-af60-e60f26f18425-1
00:42:57.793 --> 00:43:01.240
time to become relevant to the plot,
it might feel like it's a new thing.

b1a94269-2c94-4af9-8c70-c82d79549798-0
00:43:01.240 --> 00:43:01.720
Yeah.

ec5247ca-9905-4a07-a982-c40c171659e1-0
00:43:01.840 --> 00:43:03.600
I mean, even the Waterhouse, right?

8fa99347-cf0a-43ba-83f0-bc242796086a-0
00:43:03.600 --> 00:43:07.640
The mention of his framed Waterhouse and
Waterhouse is capitalised.

5a2cab36-e427-4d1e-bb1d-6f5e7f5d0290-0
00:43:08.160 --> 00:43:10.160
I didn't immediately picture a painting.

55308b64-75e1-4a16-a664-9a4e1231627a-0
00:43:10.440 --> 00:43:12.160
In hindsight that's obvious.

0a58f191-d18d-4cfa-a14f-71299f2cdbd1-0
00:43:12.400 --> 00:43:17.666
But at the time my brain, I will tell you,
my brain was Waterhouse like a pool house,

0a58f191-d18d-4cfa-a14f-71299f2cdbd1-1
00:43:17.666 --> 00:43:21.280
like it was a building,
which okay is wrong and that's me.

6b0c21ea-c7fa-4a8b-be2e-44ecf8a2be6b-0
00:43:21.280 --> 00:43:23.560
But like, I didn't see a painting there.

d3ea66f3-f515-415f-b863-9a7a6d319e87-0
00:43:23.560 --> 00:43:28.076
So if we're sort of assuming people know
what a Waterhouse is and what Venetian

d3ea66f3-f515-415f-b863-9a7a6d319e87-1
00:43:28.076 --> 00:43:30.560
masks are and know what Venetian masks
are.

75e2a167-1412-4158-868d-2f0bae286590-0
00:43:30.560 --> 00:43:33.950
So that one was OK for me,
but might not be OK for other readers as

75e2a167-1412-4158-868d-2f0bae286590-1
00:43:33.950 --> 00:43:34.200
well.

c5a12cc5-9135-4e18-bf65-c9c52391b95a-0
00:43:34.480 --> 00:43:37.243
So yeah, like,
I think maybe some of these things are a

c5a12cc5-9135-4e18-bf65-c9c52391b95a-1
00:43:37.243 --> 00:43:40.600
little too casually mentioned as as if we
might know what they are.

327573bb-7dbc-4877-a486-1b7a2ab54826-0
00:43:40.640 --> 00:43:42.440
And as you say,
there's quite a few of them.

3c62deba-bcc6-406b-9213-1f6553f26f57-0
00:43:42.520 --> 00:43:45.724
So maybe just if we were able to reduce
the number of them,

3c62deba-bcc6-406b-9213-1f6553f26f57-1
00:43:45.724 --> 00:43:49.943
we could maybe linger on them a little
bit more and let them have a little bit

3c62deba-bcc6-406b-9213-1f6553f26f57-2
00:43:49.943 --> 00:43:51.920
more meaning than just they're there.

3df0c689-a951-4f8e-a227-db91a9f52de2-0
00:43:52.040 --> 00:43:53.560
Like, what else are they bringing?

f29a41a3-2fea-4dca-8189-66317143cafc-0
00:43:53.560 --> 00:43:55.960
What's the subtext of a Venetian mask?

63207f5f-2dc3-43cd-82c4-0116e70bf7ae-0
00:43:55.960 --> 00:43:57.880
What's the subtext of a Persian rug?

741da2eb-2c73-4de0-8bf6-f5fc2fc25bea-0
00:43:57.880 --> 00:43:58.280
Like what?

5e05549e-d177-4292-804f-ef7e2eb98c40-0
00:43:58.600 --> 00:44:01.640
Apart from just being there in this scene,
what else are they giving us?

78fe8571-05c5-4739-839f-751bbdcf5a5c-0
00:44:02.080 --> 00:44:05.880
But so many great lines in this that were
really fun to read.

ce6c4ab0-4de2-4b2f-a6c5-772e29b222e7-0
00:44:05.880 --> 00:44:08.320
Like water me daddy spray me.

8c3aaf1e-2dcc-48b2-b712-a4de88f99914-0
00:44:08.320 --> 00:44:11.240
Like it's drought season and you're
breaking the law.

bc412606-d852-4a36-8e88-c7da413b0245-0
00:44:12.760 --> 00:44:13.280
I love that.

ffe51ddb-1ae0-41be-8b49-bdc2d074e79d-0
00:44:13.440 --> 00:44:16.854
And I think, look,
I think lines like that really can just

ffe51ddb-1ae0-41be-8b49-bdc2d074e79d-1
00:44:16.854 --> 00:44:21.080
carry a story if you've got enough
surprising kind of moments like that.

05f654fb-caa0-4969-8775-ccdc9470ed6b-0
00:44:21.320 --> 00:44:23.720
I actually suggested an edit to that line.

f689fc59-9893-4ec5-811d-224360e0edac-0
00:44:23.760 --> 00:44:24.080
Yeah.

c9fa018f-7545-4346-ae5b-bb622fc19ba0-0
00:44:24.360 --> 00:44:25.720
To say hose me, daddy.

7b202b34-6fa3-4af8-b3e7-7d51a65b6536-0
00:44:27.840 --> 00:44:29.280
Yeah, but I like that as well.

43f8532f-f760-486b-ae17-b7d68ca542ec-0
00:44:29.280 --> 00:44:30.840
Like, it's single effect.

459bb17f-aff3-4b2d-9223-76e796442840-0
00:44:32.280 --> 00:44:32.520
Yeah.

2223524c-b81a-493a-9bcb-33f33f894abf-0
00:44:32.520 --> 00:44:34.987
Look,
a couple of technical things that might

2223524c-b81a-493a-9bcb-33f33f894abf-1
00:44:34.987 --> 00:44:37.240
be helpful to other writers in this story.

6b8cf2a3-e8e1-4746-a490-08cbffb8c64b-0
00:44:37.240 --> 00:44:42.280
So one of the things I pulled up a couple
of times was, so we've got the line.

18bf8721-e18c-4849-af48-eb7d18fc2887-0
00:44:42.280 --> 00:44:46.952
Dave's **** twitches with each stinging
slap against his *** and nothing wrong

18bf8721-e18c-4849-af48-eb7d18fc2887-1
00:44:46.952 --> 00:44:50.028
with that,
but something that I would often suggest

18bf8721-e18c-4849-af48-eb7d18fc2887-2
00:44:50.028 --> 00:44:53.400
is to describe the actions in the order
that they occur.

de2629be-f389-4e6b-9753-b9ef05e637e2-0
00:44:53.600 --> 00:44:56.320
So the slap happens before his cocktwitch.

bf6d5c34-3932-4dd7-802f-33cee8cbadd4-0
00:44:57.360 --> 00:45:00.167
I can't believe I'm saying this,
but like really,

bf6d5c34-3932-4dd7-802f-33cee8cbadd4-1
00:45:00.167 --> 00:45:03.760
if the reader's following along,
which bit are they seeing 1st?

54e29df3-31cf-4990-a521-3ecee5142384-0
00:45:03.760 --> 00:45:06.280
And if we're seeing it out of order,
then it can be a little bit confusing.

6646da41-a1a3-40bd-b8e4-44ebdf4fdb72-0
00:45:06.280 --> 00:45:09.720
So there are a couple of instances of
that, but that's easily fixed.

5df6c718-bb1a-4f08-867f-4a7ba5df883c-0
00:45:09.760 --> 00:45:10.240
Yeah.

f63cd3ed-d3b9-4d05-947f-239a4055b612-0
00:45:10.240 --> 00:45:13.205
And it's it's minor,
but it does take a moment as a reader to,

f63cd3ed-d3b9-4d05-947f-239a4055b612-1
00:45:13.205 --> 00:45:15.371
like,
shuffle things in your mind as you kind

f63cd3ed-d3b9-4d05-947f-239a4055b612-2
00:45:15.371 --> 00:45:16.360
of replay that scene.

bf0d4899-6142-48f9-af4a-db38f2b809ea-0
00:45:16.400 --> 00:45:16.760
Yeah.

4686ff33-4854-4fca-9ae3-2b3ef40cc6a3-0
00:45:16.760 --> 00:45:20.880
So like another example,
Dave gasps as Fern hits his * ****.

01381bb0-e0c1-4d3e-94b7-da87b078b8e3-0
00:45:21.400 --> 00:45:24.377
And I mean,
this is possibly a personal pet peeve or

01381bb0-e0c1-4d3e-94b7-da87b078b8e3-1
00:45:24.377 --> 00:45:28.028
preference sort of thing,
but something's happening as something

01381bb0-e0c1-4d3e-94b7-da87b078b8e3-2
00:45:28.028 --> 00:45:29.040
else is happening.

82c719cf-44a9-459c-9a0e-4ac08f2cf70c-0
00:45:29.040 --> 00:45:32.830
And sometimes that's appropriate,
but more often than not,

82c719cf-44a9-459c-9a0e-4ac08f2cf70c-1
00:45:32.830 --> 00:45:35.400
I prefer to just have the action happen.

6e09f819-0d77-44de-9e5b-00ac341d75fa-0
00:45:35.400 --> 00:45:40.680
So Fern hits his * **** then he gasps,
He's not gasping and it's happening.

76bb2d9a-abad-42ea-a1a5-49c8a810b228-0
00:45:40.960 --> 00:45:42.560
It's like A cause and effect thing.

a8e99a3d-e28b-4f90-b6ef-25a99e970f0a-0
00:45:42.840 --> 00:45:45.696
So not happening at once,
but something caused the other thing to

a8e99a3d-e28b-4f90-b6ef-25a99e970f0a-1
00:45:45.696 --> 00:45:46.000
happen.

c57f40a1-ecbe-4eec-ae49-5906c0e00a17-0
00:45:46.000 --> 00:45:47.720
Even if it's a split second later.

09b4408d-0d51-426e-a8c7-24a328940a86-0
00:45:48.080 --> 00:45:51.488
It does often mean, I mean,
if you're going to rephrase things that

09b4408d-0d51-426e-a8c7-24a328940a86-1
00:45:51.488 --> 00:45:53.643
way,
it does mean that you've got to split

09b4408d-0d51-426e-a8c7-24a328940a86-2
00:45:53.643 --> 00:45:56.600
into two sentences really and add a
little bit more to it.

72f95a5d-6efb-48ec-914d-6dd663b4a13a-0
00:45:56.680 --> 00:46:00.840
Just, it's just,
and Fern hits his * **** and Dave gasps.

a9b644ad-efd2-4773-b00a-6a0e29987e93-0
00:46:01.120 --> 00:46:04.463
It's just, and it's,
it's not an extra word or anything like,

a9b644ad-efd2-4773-b00a-6a0e29987e93-1
00:46:04.463 --> 00:46:05.920
again, personal preference.

24878442-a670-4b15-b4a3-c15b1538e04a-0
00:46:05.920 --> 00:46:08.432
And you know,
that's probably not an example that's

24878442-a670-4b15-b4a3-c15b1538e04a-1
00:46:08.432 --> 00:46:11.767
particularly triggering for me,
but there are others where it's like

24878442-a670-4b15-b4a3-c15b1538e04a-2
00:46:11.767 --> 00:46:14.280
those two things aren't happening at the
same time.

14dd35d5-0f63-432c-b077-2dc1319e77bb-0
00:46:14.600 --> 00:46:16.520
They are happening separately to each
other.

ee32eb3d-cc54-46f4-91cd-02e1707a5199-0
00:46:16.520 --> 00:46:19.860
And I don't think it's appropriate to
sort of describe them as if they're

ee32eb3d-cc54-46f4-91cd-02e1707a5199-1
00:46:19.860 --> 00:46:21.080
happening at the same time.

2e20ec0c-a712-4cde-a596-56ba2be373bc-0
00:46:21.680 --> 00:46:26.551
Another line that I guess I challenged
was outside the sky expands like a

2e20ec0c-a712-4cde-a596-56ba2be373bc-1
00:46:26.551 --> 00:46:30.304
balloon being blown,
replacing the dreary morning with a

2e20ec0c-a712-4cde-a596-56ba2be373bc-2
00:46:30.304 --> 00:46:31.160
bright Vista.

09b8bd37-a4ac-4443-b6dd-f90d342c1d46-0
00:46:31.920 --> 00:46:36.393
I suggested instead,
outside the sky expands like a bright

09b8bd37-a4ac-4443-b6dd-f90d342c1d46-1
00:46:36.393 --> 00:46:37.000
balloon.

ac0469b6-c1bd-411e-a615-a67cae425c7d-0
00:46:37.720 --> 00:46:38.200
That's it.

9d657159-db35-4e3e-8dbd-eb48ca8dddb9-0
00:46:38.320 --> 00:46:38.560
Yeah.

30ce2cd1-195c-4275-b331-fb1258b9e41d-0
00:46:38.880 --> 00:46:42.080
I think that idea of that expanding like
a balloon is really beautiful.

4a620de8-91e0-4282-ad68-04ef8a5a7a8e-0
00:46:42.080 --> 00:46:44.120
And I think that's the thing you want to
emphasise.

ffa3539d-1649-4cba-8a02-a50264f27eb4-0
00:46:44.120 --> 00:46:46.160
So you just get rid of everything else.

fdce31da-cdad-4117-bb2f-8925eb2ca370-0
00:46:46.240 --> 00:46:49.252
If you've ever taken a lot of drugs and
stepped outside,

fdce31da-cdad-4117-bb2f-8925eb2ca370-1
00:46:49.252 --> 00:46:52.160
like that's a pretty good description of
what happens.

4f58a8a8-048b-48e3-9ff4-e4ea2af524e3-0
00:46:52.520 --> 00:46:55.760
Does it make the sound effect too,
like that stretching rubber sound effect?

2783b3d6-b8fd-4030-91c2-3b17d3357172-0
00:46:57.680 --> 00:47:01.200
So let's go into,
I guess the climax and the ending.

8d0842dc-e211-49d1-877e-7561e6a22a31-0
00:47:01.560 --> 00:47:06.723
And look what I just want to call out as
we look at that climax that Zara hasn't

8d0842dc-e211-49d1-877e-7561e6a22a31-1
00:47:06.723 --> 00:47:09.720
shield away from a little bit of
explicitness.

1e49a603-8354-4881-aef5-165ac8dd53b3-0
00:47:10.120 --> 00:47:10.440
Yeah.

7ebd5e28-8e2f-4164-bf7e-00aa0475ec03-0
00:47:10.440 --> 00:47:12.440
Like we're getting some tongue *******.

d2cefcf1-04d7-4ed8-a2b6-419223ff7741-0
00:47:12.440 --> 00:47:15.320
We're getting getting some ***** action.

cc342ec6-5d08-4e8f-82bd-0ad907aa1e39-0
00:47:15.840 --> 00:47:17.280
Even though it's plant *****.

9d557a05-37ff-4695-b7ba-64d34251c254-0
00:47:17.720 --> 00:47:19.240
We all understand it's action.

6abd1cec-a19c-47c7-9b0f-e92273ef0deb-0
00:47:19.240 --> 00:47:20.160
It's explicit.

90a0162a-935c-4376-b92a-ed135af5d54e-0
00:47:20.280 --> 00:47:21.040
Love to see it.

f8a1ea3d-f33f-48c2-960e-633c9c9c0524-0
00:47:21.040 --> 00:47:21.440
Yeah.

b5a01da2-3b2b-4b36-9f45-60f1549878a7-0
00:47:21.440 --> 00:47:25.163
And what is also really fun is when
you're reading this knowing it's a

b5a01da2-3b2b-4b36-9f45-60f1549878a7-1
00:47:25.163 --> 00:47:26.160
******* houseplant.

bd4065bf-2424-4807-8ab7-3a52f9cba793-0
00:47:26.160 --> 00:47:26.320
Yeah.

62936907-c798-4c46-ab77-8fc517958dd6-0
00:47:26.640 --> 00:47:31.602
And then the narrator is talking about
him coming back in and he's wading

62936907-c798-4c46-ab77-8fc517958dd6-1
00:47:31.602 --> 00:47:33.480
through the Persian rug sea.

8144f6bc-d0dd-46d5-b3ff-b67ca5253299-0
00:47:33.480 --> 00:47:36.676
And then he's like,
there's dirt everywhere and the plants

8144f6bc-d0dd-46d5-b3ff-b67ca5253299-1
00:47:36.676 --> 00:47:37.760
with him in the bed.

272d66fa-3c2a-4dcb-bd01-d08dc290b88e-0
00:47:37.760 --> 00:47:40.160
And you're just picturing what's actually
happening.

5af82f7c-6619-4f73-8921-1da1d854eabf-0
00:47:40.160 --> 00:47:42.800
And as the reader,
Dave's not in on it yet.

75f92eed-9813-4643-8bad-ff0e4a082a24-0
00:47:43.080 --> 00:47:44.000
You're watching it.

7b4da2e7-ca2a-49ad-b4af-fe08cdfaed44-0
00:47:44.000 --> 00:47:46.840
You know exactly what's happening,
and it's ******* hilarious.

6eb4dfeb-afed-4a84-bc69-67e9342b10a2-0
00:47:48.800 --> 00:47:52.188
And then when the other characters start
to come in, he's like, he comes too,

6eb4dfeb-afed-4a84-bc69-67e9342b10a2-1
00:47:52.188 --> 00:47:55.360
and there's police officers there,
and they're trying hard not to laugh.

9ea267aa-7098-4de3-a5af-50a53fca4661-0
00:47:55.400 --> 00:47:57.520
It's just like chef's kiss.

a6b9fe56-2075-4a64-8bb2-a3967003204d-0
00:47:57.520 --> 00:47:57.800
Yeah.

ee4ca868-9c3c-45c9-a262-09a8dbb6a461-0
00:47:57.800 --> 00:47:58.520
Great moment.

a7d4a564-85c2-40af-9766-d63e95340f2f-0
00:47:58.560 --> 00:47:58.800
Yeah.

96da74e7-0599-4950-9c93-fa656644793c-0
00:47:58.800 --> 00:48:02.342
And I think the way that that kind of the
whole wrap up of the story is handled,

96da74e7-0599-4950-9c93-fa656644793c-1
00:48:02.342 --> 00:48:03.480
I think that's quite good.

0c3f8ef3-8e25-417c-ab43-0dc223e8f9ff-0
00:48:03.520 --> 00:48:07.381
I think it's pretty much the logical
conclusion to this story is that, like,

0c3f8ef3-8e25-417c-ab43-0dc223e8f9ff-1
00:48:07.381 --> 00:48:10.440
the drugs wear off at some point and he
has to face reality.

90e15017-4e77-4372-955f-87ed86dc5588-0
00:48:10.880 --> 00:48:14.040
I feel like he gets off a bit lightly,
though, after those escapades.

671b53c8-fc93-473f-ad2f-f3e4e8a918e0-0
00:48:14.160 --> 00:48:18.600
He was outside naked, naked,
having sex with a plant.

26b46889-41e2-4054-b8c7-d98681909be5-0
00:48:18.920 --> 00:48:23.439
And I feel like the repercussions might
be a little bit more severe under some

26b46889-41e2-4054-b8c7-d98681909be5-1
00:48:23.439 --> 00:48:24.240
circumstances.

f6113d67-9722-45c2-8ef8-63ee65929f44-0
00:48:24.240 --> 00:48:25.720
So I don't know.

28d03c60-2988-4476-917c-f444cb5cb18a-0
00:48:25.720 --> 00:48:29.880
But he's he's he's contrite.

0cd9ee95-16f3-436e-ac61-e7810fc8c8bb-0
00:48:30.040 --> 00:48:33.212
That moment though,
where he looks at the door and the keys

0cd9ee95-16f3-436e-ac61-e7810fc8c8bb-1
00:48:33.212 --> 00:48:36.280
are in the open door and he's like,
I went outside today.

e55c4727-108a-4e18-9229-9c9f68bc5bd7-0
00:48:36.520 --> 00:48:37.920
That's such a good moment.

5f4e89a3-b012-40b5-8bf4-602ed77fa241-0
00:48:37.920 --> 00:48:40.565
But as you say,
maybe the reaction could have been hit a

5f4e89a3-b012-40b5-8bf4-602ed77fa241-1
00:48:40.565 --> 00:48:41.680
little bit harder there.

7603fd3f-5f9e-4027-b7cf-7c8c6b89023f-0
00:48:41.960 --> 00:48:44.832
But because it's a comedy,
I guess we don't want to go too far into

7603fd3f-5f9e-4027-b7cf-7c8c6b89023f-1
00:48:44.832 --> 00:48:45.720
the dark side either.

1e4247fb-ef1f-40e5-9ca5-91e7699cc513-0
00:48:46.400 --> 00:48:46.600
Yeah.

034920ca-092c-490c-a95a-c4b20dd660ef-0
00:48:46.600 --> 00:48:50.520
And I'm not sure what the best moment to
leave the story on is.

9946430c-c24d-4bd5-abc0-3865ca4e635b-0
00:48:50.520 --> 00:48:54.560
So we end the story on it's time I got a
girlfriend.

e7241c16-66be-44ab-9825-c58ebe40f5e2-0
00:48:54.560 --> 00:48:56.520
So I guess a few options.

07c5f0f9-e7f0-47a6-874d-4e019e18d713-0
00:48:56.520 --> 00:48:58.880
You can leave it there on that thought
It's time I got a girlfriend.

2405ffb4-b5be-4bb3-9a49-92db24375bc1-0
00:48:58.880 --> 00:49:03.360
That kind of links back to maybe the kind
of person this character is.

d19096d6-746d-4ea3-a215-4d02ebb7d289-0
00:49:03.520 --> 00:49:04.480
I like that, though.

652d24d9-daad-4345-862b-db8b75248c9e-0
00:49:04.480 --> 00:49:06.600
I like this idea of this circularity.

cd40cd34-bf2c-4b24-b2e3-54dca66360d7-0
00:49:06.600 --> 00:49:07.520
And it is that, right?

ab89b456-8ded-40fa-abc3-89804c2f4d75-0
00:49:07.520 --> 00:49:09.520
We come in,
he's like taking a day off work.

c4e91a7a-444a-4476-9757-f728e3d86eb6-0
00:49:09.520 --> 00:49:10.680
He's chronically online.

0b89736d-ee5a-4ce0-86ff-f7cc4b393611-0
00:49:10.680 --> 00:49:12.400
He's just ************ all the time.

7454d09a-0fb3-4454-9830-abf9624cf707-0
00:49:12.720 --> 00:49:15.668
And then we get to the end and it's like,
OK, too far,

7454d09a-0fb3-4454-9830-abf9624cf707-1
00:49:15.668 --> 00:49:17.920
like gone too far and I need a girlfriend.

a502a6b9-10d1-46f1-afad-1f702dbb4400-0
00:49:17.920 --> 00:49:18.880
I think that's great.

6f6fa5d1-e37d-4daf-8201-3e0dc8c54442-0
00:49:18.880 --> 00:49:20.800
I actually really like that as an ending.

b0b55269-002a-4a08-a598-e9bca916e87c-0
00:49:21.160 --> 00:49:25.201
One thing I did suggest to Zara was maybe
bringing in Mrs Frodsham and her husband

b0b55269-002a-4a08-a598-e9bca916e87c-1
00:49:25.201 --> 00:49:27.586
again,
like they're mentioned sort of in passing

b0b55269-002a-4a08-a598-e9bca916e87c-2
00:49:27.586 --> 00:49:30.605
at the ending there,
like the the neighbours have made a call

b0b55269-002a-4a08-a598-e9bca916e87c-3
00:49:30.605 --> 00:49:31.920
and all that sort of thing.

59395d06-d549-4ac3-a46f-18a2ab74a810-0
00:49:32.360 --> 00:49:35.210
But to again, pay that off,
you've got those characters and now

59395d06-d549-4ac3-a46f-18a2ab74a810-1
00:49:35.210 --> 00:49:36.680
you've introduced police as well.

cc179d06-d9b8-435a-815c-4ac2ac7260c8-0
00:49:36.680 --> 00:49:38.640
OK, that's fine because that's escalating.

0008da7b-02d2-4981-aff4-dde76b3f176b-0
00:49:38.640 --> 00:49:40.906
But like,
let's let those characters do some of

0008da7b-02d2-4981-aff4-dde76b3f176b-1
00:49:40.906 --> 00:49:41.520
this wrap up.

cefdb128-9e69-4f35-acd2-84dc11d8d98d-0
00:49:41.520 --> 00:49:44.280
Not just he's all in his head like oh
**** this is happening.

64c8d9ee-3d4f-4117-af9e-926bc69111fa-0
00:49:44.280 --> 00:49:46.851
But like,
what's the dialogue between him and Mrs

64c8d9ee-3d4f-4117-af9e-926bc69111fa-1
00:49:46.851 --> 00:49:47.520
Frodsham now?

3eee8736-3fee-4398-8cfd-8a3ba5d04e87-0
00:49:47.600 --> 00:49:48.680
I think that's a great idea.

a2bc5186-8e25-482d-ae84-e61b1ba6697b-0
00:49:48.920 --> 00:49:54.225
What if Mrs Frodsham had turned up
instead of the police like and she was

a2bc5186-8e25-482d-ae84-e61b1ba6697b-1
00:49:54.225 --> 00:49:56.520
holding a little pot and spayed?

222089e6-2113-4f68-8f38-3282cad83e6c-0
00:49:58.520 --> 00:49:59.200
Oh, hello.

f06c28b5-6243-4dfd-8463-fe4d61d12b21-0
00:49:59.720 --> 00:49:59.920
What?

78143ae5-113e-40a1-8a6a-e3228a93ea1e-0
00:49:59.920 --> 00:50:01.000
Where's your head going?

317681cd-58f8-410d-90b3-11194def9170-0
00:50:01.000 --> 00:50:01.720
Mrs Fosham?

76c19e3e-4fe2-4170-99a4-aeb8a2b883e6-0
00:50:01.720 --> 00:50:02.400
Isn't she?

7bdcc73d-fa8b-4695-850b-63dfcb241e0b-0
00:50:02.520 --> 00:50:04.120
She's sweat to plants.

a5705eea-c79f-4676-aefb-0e2622429beb-0
00:50:04.120 --> 00:50:05.520
She's a gardener, alright.

fdb232d5-47b8-407b-ae03-d6f9d599de27-0
00:50:05.520 --> 00:50:08.840
She's seen Dave how Dave takes care of a
plant.

0eeaf6cd-dabd-406e-90c9-430129c906fd-0
00:50:08.840 --> 00:50:10.040
Listen, she's a shrew.

39cedbf6-7342-4ca7-bace-33f3f6831296-0
00:50:10.040 --> 00:50:10.520
What you.

56980e4d-19e6-41a0-8237-6b882a2687e4-0
00:50:10.560 --> 00:50:11.960
You're saying she needs her?

421d62ba-f3d8-47ec-b47e-796e80f597f4-0
00:50:12.080 --> 00:50:13.960
She needs her pot filled, right?

54b282d7-18c6-4af8-a405-84a22616d23b-0
00:50:13.960 --> 00:50:14.280
Yeah.

c02a3d0b-01b1-4cc8-8d19-14cb62ab629e-0
00:50:14.400 --> 00:50:16.400
She needs to see her garden grow kind of
thing.

44bc9408-7623-47c7-b9de-d953faa049e8-0
00:50:16.760 --> 00:50:18.160
She needs to see his garden grow.

f628a342-024b-4715-94b6-22ce107a2058-0
00:50:18.160 --> 00:50:18.440
OK.

f53ddaa9-4e5a-4444-8a14-a92ce81fab93-0
00:50:18.520 --> 00:50:18.800
And.

736e34ce-9927-41e9-8ae7-25541198a5c7-0
00:50:19.000 --> 00:50:19.320
Yeah.

107651c3-ac14-4963-a5f9-4ce203379c99-0
00:50:19.480 --> 00:50:19.840
Alright.

9076dbf1-f7f0-4044-8d3d-40f4e01fac5f-0
00:50:20.120 --> 00:50:22.108
Well, I mean,
that's not where my head work,

9076dbf1-f7f0-4044-8d3d-40f4e01fac5f-1
00:50:22.108 --> 00:50:23.920
but I did enjoy that little detour there.

2439e8c0-0118-4507-99da-84aab88d867d-0
00:50:23.920 --> 00:50:24.360
That's good.

b18c8be0-cc24-4882-8a36-6c92014c0101-0
00:50:24.360 --> 00:50:25.040
That's good fun.

3ea19837-884a-4590-9cf2-278754e28144-0
00:50:25.120 --> 00:50:25.800
Mine was more.

2eeb5a6d-4ada-4df1-9427-12dd26384dc4-0
00:50:25.800 --> 00:50:27.160
OK, what was yours?

a8bf9f48-721f-4355-9a3e-df0b91ec9e65-0
00:50:27.240 --> 00:50:29.634
Well,
more the judgmental shrew is back again

a8bf9f48-721f-4355-9a3e-df0b91ec9e65-1
00:50:29.634 --> 00:50:30.520
and and has more.

53901220-d28d-4e49-8014-07fd776e1001-0
00:50:30.520 --> 00:50:33.842
Well,
she was judgmental and then she's like,

53901220-d28d-4e49-8014-07fd776e1001-1
00:50:33.842 --> 00:50:37.960
maybe I see how you worked your tongue
into those roots.

137e3cf1-ae6d-4ad4-83f1-a3caf52f43a0-0
00:50:38.400 --> 00:50:39.200
Exactly.

dde82fa2-f1be-4316-bbef-55a080880f84-0
00:50:39.640 --> 00:50:40.800
Now you're now you're getting it.

53283988-0a2e-4878-94fc-6f3112465190-0
00:50:40.920 --> 00:50:41.880
I'm on board now.

6b97274c-d6b7-49ee-aa2f-e8bbb22022ba-0
00:50:41.880 --> 00:50:43.040
I'm fully on board.

47e23c11-0ee9-49b4-b623-8aa29ff3efed-0
00:50:43.680 --> 00:50:46.640
Alright, well,
that's an option available to you, Zara.

3db2bef9-0dd5-4bbd-8b5f-aeedf11322ec-0
00:50:46.800 --> 00:50:48.920
But like, on the whole, great ending.

c9e5b79d-8296-437a-89eb-f9e8a12a47d1-0
00:50:48.960 --> 00:50:50.680
We all got there, if you know what I mean.

fbd93ab9-4300-45fd-ba11-0c8e62c9b8b1-0
00:50:51.240 --> 00:50:52.680
We take your pardon.

9a592037-1137-4492-90ad-15947d4703ea-0
00:50:52.920 --> 00:50:54.440
I thought you weren't into plans.

a8364a59-ca9d-4774-ac56-b57d05bd57a0-0
00:50:54.520 --> 00:50:55.160
What's happened?

7d6b3e86-bc9a-407b-aa36-e473fa3aa98f-0
00:50:55.160 --> 00:50:56.760
We all appreciated it, let's say.

e308a482-698a-4955-b39a-3f674f20817f-0
00:50:56.960 --> 00:50:59.520
And I mean,
maybe that's the time to address this.

11cf1761-148f-4808-a3c5-a313316fd607-0
00:50:59.520 --> 00:51:00.400
Was it sexy?

06b10e0d-5bf5-43ed-b4f9-576f5a93c1e1-0
00:51:00.760 --> 00:51:01.840
It was sexual.

d9d11dcc-20ab-4703-a0ff-3cfacf4885ab-0
00:51:01.880 --> 00:51:05.080
Was it sexy, like at at times,
I think it was a little bit.

ca11ec10-cdca-4542-8117-1d15233d29f5-0
00:51:05.080 --> 00:51:06.040
He was into it.

fee18682-5ee4-4b6e-b5b3-a1c0b008eb82-0
00:51:06.040 --> 00:51:07.480
And I think that's the secret, right?

5853b0df-4323-47ba-ab9c-85dd34334296-0
00:51:07.480 --> 00:51:09.146
We've said this before about other
stories,

5853b0df-4323-47ba-ab9c-85dd34334296-1
00:51:09.146 --> 00:51:11.040
including the kink and taboo stories or
whatever.

9f9b5bb5-d011-41fb-816c-09b8d0d4ca43-0
00:51:11.680 --> 00:51:13.440
It doesn't have to be your thing.

43821e63-e39e-4163-807a-6c8275cfe41b-0
00:51:13.800 --> 00:51:16.880
If the character is really into it.

25b63971-e1ee-46f2-aadb-fdc2abf95d62-0
00:51:16.880 --> 00:51:19.080
He was really, he was really.

5d05f27d-3187-4424-b3ce-97d0a6942dcf-0
00:51:19.880 --> 00:51:23.368
It's not that I go, oh, OK,
now I want to have sex with a plant

5d05f27d-3187-4424-b3ce-97d0a6942dcf-1
00:51:23.368 --> 00:51:24.240
because I don't.

dfac7971-5a47-46f9-81a2-2abca3f4b04a-0
00:51:24.240 --> 00:51:26.360
But like the emotions there.

dff3720f-d90d-4fcd-81c6-763c723becd0-0
00:51:26.400 --> 00:51:28.920
You're like, all right,
this guy's having a good time.

74ffd70a-6c7b-470c-8d20-30096d139d83-0
00:51:28.920 --> 00:51:31.388
Well, look,
Dave definitely made the unsexy

74ffd70a-6c7b-470c-8d20-30096d139d83-1
00:51:31.388 --> 00:51:32.960
irresistible in that moment.

8d663674-3c5d-4ba8-8340-ae5dda3c1872-0
00:51:33.040 --> 00:51:35.480
So well done, Dave, and well done, Zara.

10d43fd6-ebe5-403d-b5fe-445fa698cf09-0
00:51:35.600 --> 00:51:36.160
Great story.

5b115d53-f4d9-4874-ac83-d3a9a9c7f1f6-0
00:51:36.160 --> 00:51:36.920
You made the podium.

a8a16599-63c6-49c0-af9b-9e3b4867cd10-0
00:51:36.920 --> 00:51:41.276
You already knew it was a great story and
you've already had Amanda's line edit,

a8a16599-63c6-49c0-af9b-9e3b4867cd10-1
00:51:41.276 --> 00:51:45.633
so there's plenty for you to think about,
but hopefully we've given you a little

a8a16599-63c6-49c0-af9b-9e3b4867cd10-2
00:51:45.633 --> 00:51:46.440
bit more there.

f6e14c8b-cb62-40d4-8cb6-a5f6adb583b7-0
00:51:46.520 --> 00:51:47.480
Yeah, and we did.

f2376ba2-4405-46c3-bf8a-300122a62687-0
00:51:47.480 --> 00:51:51.120
I think you had some great insights there,
Ed, that I enjoyed as well.

ad2680d5-7ca3-4a4c-827c-048ffa55385c-0
00:51:51.120 --> 00:51:54.120
Took us on a few different other optional
paths as well.

7ba831d5-6689-4ff9-88f1-92693e2a559e-0
00:51:54.600 --> 00:51:58.895
But I think what might be interesting to
some of our listeners is to maybe grab a

7ba831d5-6689-4ff9-88f1-92693e2a559e-1
00:51:58.895 --> 00:52:01.200
copy of Flesh Fiction and see what
changed.

c602e1ba-6c5b-4c36-ba5f-1883551b1ab7-0
00:52:01.200 --> 00:52:01.440
Yeah.

ba7670e5-8a73-424a-b41c-135aefaed570-0
00:52:01.440 --> 00:52:02.360
What did we edit?

be9f2428-7561-400a-9d07-33f9b2a23556-0
00:52:02.360 --> 00:52:03.720
What did Zara agree with?

339953f0-a950-4b53-a519-7c95922b81dc-0
00:52:03.720 --> 00:52:07.415
Because of course we don't expect the
authors to agree with all of our

339953f0-a950-4b53-a519-7c95922b81dc-1
00:52:07.415 --> 00:52:08.040
suggestions.

a2dff57d-0b54-47cd-97dd-a1361801b876-0
00:52:08.280 --> 00:52:11.080
What stayed, what went,
how did things change?

45ebb519-a6d0-4133-8f29-beedafbcee8b-0
00:52:11.080 --> 00:52:12.560
And yeah, just compare.

d1ea9831-fe0f-4082-81e3-e9b3bb95d81a-0
00:52:12.560 --> 00:52:15.562
And we haven't mentioned it on the
previous Baredevil,

d1ea9831-fe0f-4082-81e3-e9b3bb95d81a-1
00:52:15.562 --> 00:52:17.200
which is like so stupid of us.

29896967-6c85-480f-9cb1-6d4eb2722701-0
00:52:17.280 --> 00:52:21.323
But Flesh Fiction is available on our
website right now if you head over to the

29896967-6c85-480f-9cb1-6d4eb2722701-1
00:52:21.323 --> 00:52:23.800
website and click on the books link in
the menu.

f424ba82-9caf-4a76-8c4e-d0d10f1e5845-0
00:52:23.800 --> 00:52:24.440
Yes, please.

1a61f7ef-a8b3-40ca-81bd-df779eb47470-0
00:52:24.440 --> 00:52:25.320
Do you buy a copy?

5c704e72-8cb7-40ac-b0b6-6f50df74702f-0
00:52:25.320 --> 00:52:27.000
Please do tell all of your friends.

469c0f5d-a164-498c-8055-3383129b72bf-0
00:52:27.000 --> 00:52:30.476
We would love for this book to,
like go viral and for every author in

469c0f5d-a164-498c-8055-3383129b72bf-1
00:52:30.476 --> 00:52:34.400
this book to just become instafamous
overnight because they bloody deserve it.

4ff8ded8-e43f-4b0c-a13c-f0b2c35b8489-0
00:52:34.400 --> 00:52:36.640
Yeah, and 31 stories in that book.

47402ef5-3c5f-4786-b885-c3eb9667f830-0
00:52:36.640 --> 00:52:38.960
So which Zara's is one in the first
volume,

47402ef5-3c5f-4786-b885-c3eb9667f830-1
00:52:38.960 --> 00:52:41.440
plus another two volumes coming out this
year.

02808cd3-2dd3-4eb3-9005-9dc50267168c-0
00:52:41.440 --> 00:52:43.080
It's like ******* 90 stories or something.

15341299-4c4a-4a79-a3ed-fa5a3160a1a2-0
00:52:43.080 --> 00:52:45.342
I mean, it's just like,
my maths is not that great,

15341299-4c4a-4a79-a3ed-fa5a3160a1a2-1
00:52:45.342 --> 00:52:46.560
but it's like a Persian rug.

cb1dedc3-5dd5-4667-85f8-901923df70b4-0
00:52:46.560 --> 00:52:49.120
Sea of sea of come.

b6053598-ceb4-4153-af5b-4664e32e0845-0
00:52:49.520 --> 00:52:51.040
Alright, let's come to the chase.

6662bdcf-acad-4daa-9df7-c599448c5482-0
00:52:52.840 --> 00:52:55.320
You men are always cutting to the chase,
*** **** it.

be754fa3-dd07-49a1-b8d0-0d6ec6c1378e-0
00:52:55.320 --> 00:52:56.360
Skipping the foreplay.

11334310-601b-48d4-9696-2df4dd72cc25-0
00:52:56.720 --> 00:53:04.280
Come inside the mind of a man.

c46ba843-3d93-497c-92f1-7b92ff05f26f-0
00:53:06.880 --> 00:53:08.280
But thank you Zara.

14a65d92-c15b-43b1-9172-02c3fffb78d9-0
00:53:08.280 --> 00:53:09.560
That was a wonderful story.

764dd9fd-2112-4b1a-a43f-aab5b9cc8933-0
00:53:09.560 --> 00:53:12.069
And look,
we loved reading it the first time,

764dd9fd-2112-4b1a-a43f-aab5b9cc8933-1
00:53:12.069 --> 00:53:16.323
we loved reading it the second time,
and we are looking forward to publishing

764dd9fd-2112-4b1a-a43f-aab5b9cc8933-2
00:53:16.323 --> 00:53:19.160
it and sharing it with the world in its
final form.

25764746-fcf5-4cd5-b35b-72526116bcfe-0
00:53:19.160 --> 00:53:21.160
It's edited, polished form.

d40d0093-3680-4a50-944f-3a9cd4b3d979-0
00:53:21.160 --> 00:53:23.895
I will say,
even though this story came third,

d40d0093-3680-4a50-944f-3a9cd4b3d979-1
00:53:23.895 --> 00:53:27.096
it is still a huge act of bravery to put
it out there,

d40d0093-3680-4a50-944f-3a9cd4b3d979-2
00:53:27.096 --> 00:53:30.880
to put your name on it and to say I made
this with my own brain.

1184f916-9cf7-4ec9-9ccf-f1890d47f70e-0
00:53:31.520 --> 00:53:32.760
You know, I'm here for it.

352c9f77-454c-4cac-abd8-2d1d838bd06c-0
00:53:32.760 --> 00:53:35.862
Obviously,
I absolutely loved it and you found your

352c9f77-454c-4cac-abd8-2d1d838bd06c-1
00:53:35.862 --> 00:53:36.400
audience.

35959bb0-dce2-472f-8538-55f3cae990fc-0
00:53:36.520 --> 00:53:37.960
So thank you so much.

32071a2d-419b-422e-9a31-b04baba4cd9d-0
00:53:37.960 --> 00:53:42.297
And thank you for submitting to like all
the detailed critique and for being such

32071a2d-419b-422e-9a31-b04baba4cd9d-1
00:53:42.297 --> 00:53:46.264
a willing critique partner in that
editing process as well because it does

32071a2d-419b-422e-9a31-b04baba4cd9d-2
00:53:46.264 --> 00:53:47.639
make it go a lot smoother.

ca5ee880-b9c2-4b02-8e78-bc3eac93fb03-0
00:53:48.120 --> 00:53:50.828
But yeah,
that brings us to the end of this bare

ca5ee880-b9c2-4b02-8e78-bc3eac93fb03-1
00:53:50.828 --> 00:53:51.160
devil.

2db5df68-6b38-4d49-936a-8e6756eab16d-0
00:53:51.360 --> 00:53:55.520
But we couldn't let you go without a
little verbal spanking.

237ca3f8-f5ad-4551-9c8a-3a40ca18e232-0
00:53:56.400 --> 00:53:56.720
No.

a7af3768-7cb3-49b8-96af-3766d6ead701-0
00:53:56.720 --> 00:54:02.040
So our resident Dom Elise is here to give
you a little message.

6da266d5-2244-4c9a-91f9-bf11b0a51047-0
00:54:09.440 --> 00:54:10.040
Sarah.

7192470a-175f-4cb8-b711-02743aaa6bbb-0
00:54:10.520 --> 00:54:12.880
Oh, you're a naughty one, aren't you?

0ca8d673-8896-41c1-bffa-543e462e311e-0
00:54:13.560 --> 00:54:15.080
You like to make a misogynist?

e1dcc5df-938b-4141-a88b-7b28f7994631-0
00:54:15.080 --> 00:54:17.360
**** a tree and roll in the dirt.

bf9bcf7d-7dfe-4ec9-9412-bdcdc426a823-0
00:54:17.600 --> 00:54:18.960
What a dirty girl.

cd95a13e-056a-4fca-a03d-f739119aa6df-0
00:54:19.160 --> 00:54:22.360
If you want to please me though,
you have to go harder.

255c253b-127d-4d15-a668-341d428dba61-0
00:54:22.760 --> 00:54:24.680
Give him a cactus next time.

5ec7c8da-3bcd-490e-a65e-9ed0b388b1e7-0
00:54:29.000 --> 00:54:30.080
So take that, Zara.

45dfda13-9544-4a72-966b-7130630b37fe-0
00:54:31.440 --> 00:54:35.360
So we'll be back in a week's time,
The 3rd and final Bare Devil.

a7f6a7fa-36eb-4376-b5e2-d6089c94711b-0
00:54:35.360 --> 00:54:40.572
And look,
it's none other than the infamous Holly

a7f6a7fa-36eb-4376-b5e2-d6089c94711b-1
00:54:40.572 --> 00:54:45.680
Burn Sadowski from Kansas,
the Not the Kansas 1.

8ceb6963-b410-4b10-ac40-3e89ed2c1839-0
00:54:46.400 --> 00:54:47.960
So look forward to that in a weeks time.

d9c6496f-2c5f-4aea-b9f8-df75b67a5144-0
00:54:47.960 --> 00:54:51.760
But until then, right on, right on.

833bb473-2ba8-4e54-aebb-c577cb6acea2-0
00:54:54.440 --> 00:54:57.800
We hope you enjoyed this special
Daredevil episode of Not Quite Right.

c8c496e5-f6ee-44db-910b-ee0e23283829-0
00:54:58.120 --> 00:55:01.938
If you have thoughts on this story,
follow us on social media and join the

c8c496e5-f6ee-44db-910b-ee0e23283829-1
00:55:01.938 --> 00:55:02.600
conversation.

5a8ade50-3945-4288-bbf5-805ed8a14d03-0
00:55:02.920 --> 00:55:06.715
And if you'd like to participate in the
next round of the competition,

5a8ade50-3945-4288-bbf5-805ed8a14d03-1
00:55:06.715 --> 00:55:08.960
head over to ourwebsite@notquiteright.com.

76f006ab-26e2-43ce-88d4-a32a64f6f3d6-0
00:55:09.240 --> 00:55:15.960
That's WRITE something doesn't seem quite
right.

575c93a7-b142-4ff3-b85e-27e2abacc3d5-0
00:55:22.990 --> 00:55:23.790
What's wrong with me?

8f9c10ab-b18b-4f74-b7c9-3729021f7839-0
00:55:24.110 --> 00:55:24.790
You're drunk.

946ff55a-40bb-46bf-878d-b9ef19314cca-0
00:55:24.830 --> 00:55:25.990
You're giving drunk.