Not Quite Right features discussions that are unfiltered and uncensored,
and may include themes that are inappropriate for younger listeners.
Also, I swear a lot.
Something doesn't seem quite right.
Welcome to not quite right.
My name's Ed and I'm Amanda and we are here for the shortlist for the July 2026
Not Quite right prize for flash fiction.
It is your favourite episode?
It is my favourite episode.
And in honour of the theme, we have a lovely yin Yang trinket plate,
I believe was the description of this plate Kit plate with a a sun and moon
candle.
And because you're in your candle era, my candle era, I am, he thought, why not?
You're going to purchase that.
I didn't actually, I purchased other candles and these came
free.
These are free bonuses, which is nice because you got to take
your wins where they come.
Now let's get into it.
So let's get into it, the shortlist.
But firstly, a big welcome to our Patreon supporters.
We'll be listening to this a little bit early and we want to make it fair because
we know that everyone is a paying entry into this competition.
So we want to make sure that the results are available at the same time for
everyone.
And so we will be posting the results of each round to our Patreon under the free
tier.
Yeah.
So that means that all you need to do is sign up to any of the tiers on Patreon,
including the free tier.
And at the time that the early episode drops for the shortlist,
you'll have access to a post listing the names of all the winners.
And that will include the wild card winners, of course,
and the bonus prize winner as well.
So if you cannot wait to hear the news, then you can log on at that time and
you'll be able to see who won.
But our supporters will receive early access to the episodes.
That's the extra content here.
That's the story readings, the long list and the shortlist episodes,
as well as all of our other not quite right episodes.
So for the long list and the shortlist episodes,
we will be posting those 12 hours earlier.
Yeah.
Because I feel like any more than that and people will explode.
Yeah, exactly.
But for our other episodes that aren't so time sensitive,
our Daredevils and our regular episodes, it could be longer.
So yeah, be a few days.
Yeah.
And so look, if you missed the memo on that this round,
just make sure you head over to Patreon and like I said,
subscribe to any of the tiers, including the free tier,
and you'll be able to access the post when we drop those results.
But enough about that.
Let's get into it, shall we?
Let's shall What have our listeners got to look forward to in this episode?
Well, let me tell you, firstly, we will.
We've your job, mate.
Firstly we will announce the wild card winners.
We've got four wild cards to award, 2 from our assistant judges and two from
Amanda and I.
Then we will be revealing the top 6, the shortlist as it were for this round.
Six stories and $4000 of prizes.
Yeah, over $4000 when you factor in the wild
cards and, of course, the illustrious winner who'll be
receiving the pointy trophy.
And of course, all of our shortlists will be published
in our anthology at the end of the year.
We're building up the books now.
I've had a little bit of a hiatus, I must confess, on the flesh fiction.
We've got to get back into that and and get that published.
But I'm very excited as well for this year's anthology.
And at the end of the episode, we will be drawing the bonus prize for
this round.
So Team Amanda, I'm going to spoil it right now.
Team Amanda wins the points.
All right, fine.
Get your gloating out of the way.
Oh, it's not gonna end.
So 1 lucky person from team Amanda, we'll be pulling that name out of a hat
and that person will win a hoodie, which was by popular demand, by the way.
I asked what do people want?
They wanted a hoodie.
Which I've got my hoodie and I've worn mine to death.
I've had it now for four years or something like that,
and it's the cosiest hoodie that I own and it gets a lot of love.
So I can see why you would covet A hoodie.
So we have the hoodie and we also have a coaching session with me and you know,
I get lovely positive feedback about that.
People feeling like they grow as writers as a result of that time.
So hopefully you feel the same way and I'm looking forward to chatting and
online meeting whoever wins that prize.
Absolutely.
So we got wild cards, we got shortlist, we got the winner,
we got a prize draw and lots of stories to read.
My favourite thing is reading out these stories,
like the six best stories out of 300 stories.
Let's get into it, shall we?
Let's not beat around the Bush.
Let's cease to beat around the metaphorical Bush.
I didn't start, but OK.
On that note, why don't we call our assistant judges?
Starting with a lease?
Sounds good.
Lease a call.
So thanks for joining us, Elise.
Yeah, thanks for having me.
We did the judging a little bit differently this round because last round
we split it on team basis.
But this round of course was a bit of a landslide.
So we did it a little bit more randomly.
We just gave you 1/2 and we gave Dean the other half.
So you got a taste of both teams this time around?
I liked that.
That was a lot of fun for me, getting to see what was on both teams.
I always enjoy reading the stories because I feel like the quality we get is
so high and I think so deeply about them that not only I get that enjoyment,
but I also think about craft a lot.
And then I grow as a writer as a result.
So I have a lot of gratitude for that part of the process.
Absolutely.
I couldn't agree more.
Like I've learned so much from reading these stories.
I definitely noticed that people leaned super hard into the prompts this time.
And you know, that's valid, but I also, when I think back on the times that I've
entered the quite right prize, the two times that I placed, both times,
I like lightly caressed the prompts as I went by.
And when I whenever I went hard at them, like I would get very excited about them
sometimes and I would go really hard.
I never even longlisted when I did that.
So I thought that was kind of interesting.
Like one of the things about craft that I really thought a lot about this time is
the question of like passive versus active and how that relates to the
question of like quiet versus propulsive storytelling or prose.
And how, for me, the distinction really lands in whether
or not there's character drive and stakes in the story,
and therefore whether there's conflict and change in the story.
So for me, that was something that I got to spend a
lot of time thinking about as I was reading.
And did you notice differences between the two teams in that respect?
I noticed more of a tendency towards like a more passive character or storytelling
style in the Amanda side, which makes sense because of the yin and
Yang.
But I felt like interestingly in both sides,
maybe because of the sort of meditative nature of leaning into like a philosophy
that's all about balance.
There was a lot of more passive storytelling on both sides.
And so I spent a lot of time asking myself like,
this is a really quiet story and it's not that propulsive.
So is there some kind of character driving it or this is a really propulsive
story, even though it's quiet, and that's why it might be really working
for me.
Yeah, I found the same thing, Elise.
Like even though the team in prompts sort of spelled out passivity,
when I moved over to reading the team Ed stories,
I didn't notice actually a huge difference between like,
the passivity and so on.
And I did wonder whether it was the conceal slash reveal prompt that was
actually creating stories in which there wasn't a lot of action per SE.
There was a lot of sort of inaction.
So apart from that, did you have any other thoughts that you
wanted to share about this round of the competition?
I guess my other really big thought that I had as an overarching thought was one
of the things I noticed again and again about stories that were really landing
for me was I could really clearly answer why the moment we were seeing in that
story was the important moment that we needed as opposed to just a moment for
that character.
I had a editor at one point ask me like, why this character and why this moment?
Why is this what you're making us look at?
And I felt like the stories that answered that question for me,
I intended to really love those stories.
It's definitely a question worth asking yourself.
And these are the kinds of things that I've been personally learning by reading
these stories like and now reflect on when I go to write a story myself.
Like, what is it that makes this particular
scene interesting, relevant, impactful, more so than just.
Yeah, a moment.
So tell us some of the stories that did stand out to you.
OK.
So the very, very first thing when I first got the
whole, you know, list of all the stories, and I just kind of was scrolling,
the very first thing that caught my eye was the title **** Nugget Boys.
I saw that title and I laughed and laughed and I thought, wait, wait,
hang on.
Are we in flesh fiction?
Here we go back.
That was the team Ed one very memorable yes, yes, it was very memorable.
And that's the thing, you know with titles,
and I know I've heard you guys say this before,
is when you see the title and it immediately calls to mind the story for
me, that's a really good title.
There was another title that did that for me too,
which was the time my daughter came out to me in the plumbing aisle at Bunnings
by Julia Knuf.
You familiar with Bunnings, Elise?
I am not I was like, is this sort of like Home Depot or is it
more like Walmart?
No, it's a Depot.
Home Depot.
For those familiar with Bluey, it's Hammer Barn.
Yes, I do know Bluey.
So Hammer Barn makes sense to me.
Yes.
So then there were two lines that I really loved.
The first is in Phases by Chad Frame, and it goes you're left wonderstruck in
the cul de SAC, wanting nothing more than to bottle her
name like Starlight.
Beautiful.
I just thought so lovely.
That was just saying to me.
And then the other one said it was from Return to the Sea by Madeleine Don and it
said Iland reached into his chest and picked the lock of his heart.
Beautiful.
Very evocative in the word prompts.
I picked one from team Ed and one from team Amanda that were my favourites for
team Amanda.
My favourite was Simoon the poison wind from the names of all you're dead by
James Bushel.
Sorry I lied, I picked 2 from team Amanda and none from
team Ed Sorry Ed.
So the other one I had was moon glade, which is a really uncommon word that
means moonlight that's brightly reflected on a body of water.
That was from The Woman at the Lake by Freya Bjornsen.
For the action prompt, I actually only wrote one down because,
well, I'll just read you exactly what I have.
The first bit is exactly what the author wrote into the action prompt explanation
box and that says, oh God, I'm so sorry.
The reveal is that the serpent has a *****.
And then I wrote.
I have a feeling this is going to be my favourite action prompt response.
I'll be surprised if anyone can top it.
And they did not top it.
No, they did not.
And that was very early on.
That was in my first batch of stories.
Amazing.
So that was the historic battle at Tadcaster of Sir David and the River
Serpent in the year of Our Lord 1351 by Holly Sadowski.
And there was nothing about the Lord in that story?
No, there was clearly absent in that one.
It was great fun.
And then for kickers I have two and the first one is Little Treats by Catherine
Cook.
And the kicker prompt in that one was Catherine explored the duality of yin and
Yang in how someone can be two different things at once.
So main character of the story was both a carer for a woman who was losing access
to her mental faculties and also he was financial abusing her.
And I thought that was a really nuanced exploration of the concept of yin and
Yang.
Plus, I guess Catherine could have decided at
the last moment whether she wanted to be on Team Amanda or team.
And then the other one that I picked was from Nothing Like the Sun by Heather I'd.
And in that one, Heather actually listed a bunch of stuff
in the kicker box that was much more specific and concrete and did not say
this about her kicker.
But the thing that I really admired was that in Heather's story,
the gendered element of the traditional yin Yang binary is subverted because
Heather chose to feature a female female romance that had in the relationship
plenty of Yang elements.
So I thought it was neat for her to be like,
I'm busting the whole gender of this all together.
There were a couple other people who played with that as well,
but I really love the version idea.
Absolutely.
So tell us Elise, what was your wild card pick for this
round?
OK, so my wild card for this round is Broken
Dreams and Butterfly Cakes by Joe Skinner.
I could not resist picking this story.
It is a really compelling, stark exploration of the narrator
character's restricted eating, and it explores stuff like puberal
dysphoria and body dysmorphia and calorie in,
calorie out toxicity and the line between those kinds of issues and the character
surviving assault.
And I felt like it was handled in a really complex,
nuanced and engageable way.
This is definitely one of those stories that had a passive protagonist and very
little action.
Essentially a character.
There's working out and thinking and then looking at her phone and then looking at
a cookbook and that's it.
That's the story.
But for me, it was propulsive, even though there wasn't much action
because the desire is obvious from early on,
which is to be out from under the control of her abuser who's forcing her into
silence and the trauma that's destroying her.
And that is woven through the narrative and braided into this metaphor of this
butterfly that loses its lightness and its ability to fly and eventually it's
wings.
And at the end of the story, she makes a decision and says,
when they come for me, I'll let them turn me back into a
butterfly.
Which is essentially like she's aware that she's so sick that she's going to be
hospitalised.
And once she is hospitalised, she's going to choose to heal.
And the power in that moment of decision gave me not just a sense of resolution
and a sense of that moment of change, but it gave me a whole story that
unfolded in my mind all on its own of what happened after the last.
So to me, that's what brought this story above
everything else.
That's really impactful.
When someone can leave you thinking after the story ends,
that's always deeply satisfying reading experience and definitely a very complex
and sad story as well.
Yeah.
And another win for Team Amanda.
So congratulations, Joe Skinner on that.
Well, I'm not sure that we we award points on
that basis, but, you know, hi to Joe Joe's been entering the comp
since the beginning and Joe is up there on the leaderboard,
consists instantly hitting long list level and demonstrating her ability to
tell an impactful story every single time.
So well done, Joe, and thank you, Elise.
Thank you.
And Elise, you have a book that's come out,
so I want you to plug that to our audience as well.
Tell us about your book.
Thank you.
OK, Yeah.
So my book is called The Black Cat Detectives, and my pet name is Kit Grey.
So it's The Black Cat Detectives by Kit Grey,
and it is a cosy murder mystery starring 3 kittens who can subtly bend the laws of
physics and they have to clear the name of their human,
who's a stage magician when she is accused of murdering her unpleasant
boyfriend.
It is not like high literary prose by any stretch of the imagination.
It is a lighthearted romp, kind of a book.
It's meant to be accessible and fun, the kind of thing you pick up at the end
of a long day.
But my hope is that it will bring people joy.
So amazing.
Well, we've got it here on on our shelf.
It's been hoarding it, but I look forward to reading it myself.
Absolutely.
Well, thank you so much, Elise, and thank you for all the time and a lot
of care that you put into your judging.
I love reading your comments.
You always expand a story for me and help me to look deeper into it.
And I'm sure the authors would be very honoured to see how carefully you handle
their stories.
And we really appreciate you.
It's a real honour for me.
So thank you Elise, and congratulations, Jo Skinner on your wild card win.
We've got $100 Australian coming your way, $100 redos.
So Jo's actually published a couple of books now.
The Truth About My Daughter was her debut novel and she's since published A World
of Silence.
I don't know if you call it women's fiction or sexist.
Well, you're welcome as a man to enjoy women's
fiction, but I would encourage everyone to check
out those books, so please do.
Joe is a very talented author and has done very well in our competition,
so it's really nice to see Joe rewarded for her talents in this way.
Absolutely a worthy recipient of the wild card from Elise for this round.
But we do have another assistant judge by the name of Dean.
Couldn't forget Dean.
So shall we give him a call?
Sure, why not?
Hi, Amanda.
Hi Ed, So this time around we split up the
stories just at random, not on team line, so you got a good taste of both teams.
What were your thoughts on the theme this round?
Thanks Ed, that was fun to read, both team and team Amanda, actually.
It was nice to break out of the cage.
We ended up with quite different stories I thought, which kind of seems obvious,
I guess when you've got yin and Yang, if you're going to have opposites.
Some stories probably had more energy than other stories and you could probably
guess which ones the the yangy ones, whereas the, you know one,
the uni ones were often a lot more interior so then took place inside
people's heads a lot.
Or just we're a little bit more passive.
So sometimes it was good and sometimes it needed a little bit more from some of
those stories.
But same thing with the Team Ed ones.
Yeah, it it was the usual mix.
Look, I always love reading how people
interpret prompts.
This one, I do believe, gave us two very distinct sets of Yeah,
but Dean, which one was better?
Which team was better?
Well, look, my wild card was from your team,
so I don't know and so and I don't, I don't know.
I guess you guys will have to decide and when you do your little adding up,
I think stories with more energy may have ended up being a little bit easier to
write maybe.
But having said that, everyone went for Team Amanda,
so maybe it's a time.
Not everyone come on, I'd say like that.
Look.
I'll tell you what though, when I went through and looked at the mix
of ones that I rated highly, there was still heaps of Team Amanda ones
and heaps of team.
And so it was people find a way, nature finds a way,
as Jeff Goldblum once said.
I've got a couple of shout outs actually before we get into the wild card,
if that's all right.
Some that I love to have made the long list so great for them and they've had
the little moment of the sun and they and a couple more I'm sure are making the
shortlist.
But I just wanted to shout out a couple that I liked that didn't end up on the
long list.
One of them is called Last Night of the Wolf Bros by Malta Springer.
It's essentially about men sort of going wild under the moon.
But I really loved this line, which was lately I've been wondering,
are we wolves or just men drinking beer and making animal noises,
which I just thought was I could just imagine a bunch of guys sitting around
going, oh, actually, is that what we're doing or are we wolves?
So it's an unwanted moment of self reflection that we all avoid.
And that was one of those ones where because there was a lot of on Team Amanda
because of the nature of that sort of yin nature of the stories.
There was often fewer that took the light side of it in terms of having a little
bit of fun with it.
Sometimes they just got a little bit more serious and introspective.
So it was nice every now and then to find ones that weren't taking themselves too
seriously.
So that was really good.
The another one which used the moon name quite hilariously was Simoon, not Simon,
and that was by Karosh.
And that one had a little bit of fun with it as well.
Just found a way to actually put the moon into the name as the wrong spelling.
Socked by Ryan Fleming was another one that I enjoyed as someone who has far too
many, well, far too many pairs of socks in general,
but a lot of mismatched socks.
So that was very cute.
Thank you, Ryan.
And I'm just going to shout out three other names from stories that I saw did
not make the long list, but it would have made my, you know,
theoretical long list.
And they were from Claire Austin, Maddie Loggerman and Deirdre Witt Lovgren.
So thank you for your stories and to everyone else who entered.
Look, I always do enjoy reading them because
it's amazing what comes out of your brains,
some of the weird and wonderful ways and places that you go to.
It's always a pleasure and a privilege.
Fantastic.
Well, I'm keen to find out who your wild card
is, seeing that they come from my team.
Yes, they do.
Thank you Ed The the wild card drumroll please is final departure by Michelle
Ryan.
Congratulations Michelle.
This story tells the journey of someone who's racing the clock basically to
travel home to Australia to be by their father's bedside before he passes away.
The opening line in this one was a great little master class in telling you
everything you needed to know and if I can indulge be indulged, I will read it.
And the opening line was simply +61 interrupts the 1:00 AM silence and I
immediately know it's bad.
So there's a few things going on there.
+61 being the pulling code of someone's calling from Australia.
It's a straight away that tells you someone's overseas.
That's so relatable.
When you see that pop up, you know that it's breaking the 11 AM
silence.
There's you know, without saying anything, you know that it's an emergency.
It's at home.
You know that this character is away from home.
So there was just a lot going on and the writing was real top notch from there on.
And there was some other lovely moments where it was a bit of a sort of a show
don't tell.
We don't really ever get told the father is in hospital as such.
But just all the little ways that this protagonist has to sort of calculate then
navigate their way to get home, like this 30 hour journey and the reveal
being that they trying to reveal themselves to their, you know,
to their dad who's in hospital.
And this other line.
I just want to sums it up as well, which was a great one.
I'm out of the car before it's even stopped rolling.
I've travelled from darkness to a light moon to sun,
across continents and oceans and through countless time zones,
but still this stretch feels by far the longest.
That was really beautiful because it really does just so step by step through
the process of trying to get home desperately and and fighting the the
character capital T time.
You're racing against time and she's got an 11 hour advantage.
And a lot of us can all, even if we haven't been in that exact
situation, we know that feeling of trying to,
you know, get back to and some would have been in
exactly that situation, trying to get somewhere and just feeling
like everything's on slow motion.
And and I thought that just used the prompts really well.
So congratulations, Michelle, final departure.
That was my wild card pick.
I've done that journey, actually the rush home to the father.
In my case, it was driving, but similar amount of hours,
unfortunately, because Australia is a big place,
driving from Melbourne back to the Central Coast.
But yes, thank you so much, Dean.
That's an excellent pick and a memorable story.
Thank you guys.
This again for the privilege and everyone else listening.
Thank you for entering.
It's always a delight, even if, yeah, some of the stories are just bizarre and
wonderful and weird.
And look, that's what we that's what we sign up for.
And it's kind of what you guys sign up for too.
But like, if all the stories were the same,
that would just be stupid and dumb.
So I love seeing everyone's creativity on full display.
So thank you again and right on.
So thank you, Dean, and congratulations, Michelle Ryan on your wild card pick and
thank you for joining Team Ed, which even though we didn't win this
round, is still the best team if you ask me.
All right, no one did, but OK.
But we have two more wild cards to award.
So why don't we start with yours, Amanda?
Yes, the yin comes before the Yang.
Well, I'm very excited to announce my wild card
winner.
And once again, these are awarded blind.
But I was really excited when I saw the name of this author.
So the story title is And I'll Never Tell You, by Josh Low.
Now Josh is someone who I'm getting to know on social media,
so I was very excited to see Josh's name there.
And I guess the reason that I chose this story for my wild card was because of
Josh's approach to the kicker.
So the yin prompt, I think I mentioned a different story in
the long list episode that dealt with motherhood and darkness together and sort
of playing with those ideas.
And I'm just going to read Josh's comments in the brief explanation for the
kicker, just I guess kind of give an indication
of why I chose this story.
And Josh said I wanted to go about the kicker prompt by writing a story about
the passive side of motherhood and the internal experiences.
I have absolutely no idea if I've achieved that, but this was my intention.
Also hoping the mother doesn't come across as a sadistic maniac, but Yolo.
And so this particular story looked at a mother's relationship with their child
and that kind of, I guess the separation time,
like where the child individuates and creates their own life.
And I guess I am a mother.
Like it's relatable.
My children are younger, I suppose.
But your character Josh didn't come across as a sadistic maniac.
But to be honest, as a mother, there is a little bit of a ****** ** part
of that where you relish the times when your children need you.
And that's what this story was about.
It's like you want your children to be independent,
you want them to be successful, you want them to be happy.
But there's something really rewarding about the times when they're struggling
and they need you.
And so there is this kind of interplay of those emotions.
And Josh, I know you're not a mother.
I know you have your Guinea pig babies.
It's not quite the same, but there is this kind of messed up kind
of vibe which I felt was really elegantly handled in your story.
So well done with that.
And also, you know, you say, I hope the mother doesn't come across the
sadistic, but Yolo.
And that's what this game is all about.
It's about taking those risks.
It's about writing the thing that's challenging and the thing that challenges
us as readers as well and just being like **** it, it's in your face,
you deal with it kind of thing.
I really appreciate that and that is why I chose this story for my wild card.
So congratulations Josh, you will be winning 100 Australian
dollars for your efforts.
So thank you.
Well done Josh.
And that leaves one final wild card to award, and that is for Team Ed.
And I would like to award this wild card to Tracy Mingo for her story Memory
Rations.
And this is a story that intrigued me.
It's, it kind of a hints at maybe a larger
story, a bit of a science fiction story here.
It involves someone's time travelling, I guess to 1992 in the middle of the,
you know, Bosnian Yugoslavian war, I guess.
And I don't know, look, I found this story really intriguing.
It has these ideas of culture and memory and time travel and not everything really
is explained completely in this story, but I found it very intriguing and I
found these ideas really provocative.
And I would encourage Tracy to expand on that and develop the story further.
So I wanted to give that wild card just to acknowledge that that story had an
effect on me.
And so well done, Tracy.
And $100 will be coming your way as well.
All right, so it's nearly time for the shortlist top
six stories for the July 2026 not quite right price.
But as always, we have some business to take care of
because there's always someone who can't bloody help themselves,
who has to make a nuisance of themselves, who has to debase the whole enterprise,
bring it into disrepute.
And that person as per is Holly Sadowski.
Sir Holly Sadowski for her story, the historic battle at Tadcaster of Sir
David and the River Serpent in the year of our Lord 1351.
Let's just say you brought up in the long list episode, the movie 2 Hands.
This this story was one hand.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's only one hand in this story.
And Holly, listen, we love your stories, but we debated whether to give this a
dishonourable mention this episode because I don't know if we want to
encourage this kind of behaviour.
I feel like it's too late.
You know, Holly, on Blue Sky, you said that you were going for, like,
the shock value because you don't think that you could otherwise long list or
short list.
And I think you're selling yourself short because absolutely you can.
And I think you are great at getting our attention with these stories and you've
done it time and time again.
I think you need to back yourself.
I agree.
We love the nonsense here, and nonsense isn't welcome everywhere.
So I also just want to say, like, if you want to write nonsense,
that this is a safe space to write nonsense.
But also, you know, it's not just about writing nonsense
either.
Like, I don't want to just say, like, if you write * **** story that that's
going to guarantee you a win by any means.
That's not how it works in this company, or at least I'd like to think that's not
evidence to the contrary.
But you know, Holly, you've written a range of different
stories for us now, and it's not like each one is proof or
otherwise.
And I want to extend this message out to everybody.
Like, really, what you need to do is write the story
that's in you.
Yeah, it can be nonsense.
It can be sincere.
It's not always going to be received at the level at which you emotionally
connected with it.
But you need to do that as an artist, you need to put out what you need to put
out into the world and hope that it gets received well, and if not,
know that at least you're doing the right thing by your soul to do that.
But you know, like all that aside, we are dishonoured to award you the
dishonourable mention for the July 2026 Not Quite Right Prize,
thus making you the first double winner?
Of the dishonourable.
We are dishonoured but grateful as always for your contribution.
Halloween, we did really enjoy your story.
But now on to the shortlist proper.
Why don't we start, as is tradition, with the 6th place?
Why not?
Let's logically that would make the most sense, right?
So 6th place wins 200 Australian dollars.
And of course, publication in the Not Quite Right Prize
anthology for 2026.
I'm excited for this one.
Yeah, and it is a Team Ed story.
So in 6th place is Married to the Sea by Andrea Cavito.
When grain gets wet, growth immediately starts not only in the
grain itself, but in the mould spores, yeast cells and bacteria which are always
present, causing germination, fermentation and putrefaction.
This from the BMT Cargo Solutions handbook.
You couldn't find a more apartment metaphor for my marriage?
First, grain gets wet.
I assumed Brandy was joking when she sloshed up at the dockside bar to say
let's make a baby.
Why not?
I was unsure.
Leave then third, mate.
I skipped my promotion to second when she texted me a photo of two pink lines in a
plastic window.
A porthole view of our future germination.
I dry docked seven months in svelte as ever,
Brandy's sweetness burned off when her lie finally surfaced.
Turns out the things I was supposed to want a wife, a child,
which is fizz fermentation.
I fled here to think to avoid putrefaction.
The A large S is a handy Max class bulk carrier.
5 cargo bays full of hard red winter wheat.
4 cranes, 3 accommodations, tiers stacked under the bridge like a mid
rise apartment block.
Two dozen crew, one of whom is me and within me.
One heart, 2 lungs, three months of salt.
We're only four nautical miles from port, but we've been sitting anchored for five
weeks off the north Bank of the Strait.
It's hard enough to scald eyeballs and scorch skin, even through the decks.
Pebbled red oxide paint.
We yearn for movement, for progress.
We're stultifying in geopolitical doldrums.
Ripening.
I caught Chef caressing his lettuce leaves in the galley.
I saw the bosun rubbing himself like a rutting elk against a far aft vent tube.
I get it.
Everything about this vessel lights me up, too.
The ribbed walls of the cargo bays, the stiff upward swing of the cranes,
the leathery folds of the immersion suit were required to try on during safety
training.
Slipping and bumping into it on the first day was only foreplay.
There are all locks, air hoses, nozzles of all kinds,
coils and spools of **** spliced ropes as true to their namesake as Brandy,
his to hers.
The Tang of rust in the air below decks stirs the iron in my own blood.
I can't explain it, nor could I explain why it felt like the
popcorn ceiling of our bedroom was pressing down on me every night,
flattening me into the percal sheets, drowning me under decorative pillows and
wilted expectations.
On the deck of the largesse, there is no ceiling at all.
The skies never end.
The sea stretches so taut against the horizon its edges buckle.
I love to watch our parting wake, the endless unfolding of foamy blue when
we come into port in the pre dawn, when the pink clouds touch the green glow
of the dock lights, it's like being inside the Aurora
borealis, inside a budding flower.
I'll email the divorce papers as soon as we dock.
I've been unfaithful, but not to Brandy, and I'll never stray again.
So thank you so much Andrea, for your story.
I loved the character here, the protagonist.
The perspective here was so unique.
Just that idea of, you know, it's in the title, married to the sea.
But what does that mean?
And it is all of these things that I guess,
like the freedom and a ******* of boats and the ******* of boats.
But yeah, But exactly the imagery here is amazing
and like the weird **** the chef caressing his lettuce and,
and maybe the the fact that things get weird when you're out at sea and I feel
like things must get always weird when men are alone for too long.
Is that a fair statement?
Probably yes.
But also just like there's some great details in here.
The choice of name of Brandy was so great.
And all of the alcohol imagery, even just in the line,
Brandy's sweetness burnt off when her life finally serviced.
Just like setting fire to Brandy and having the sweetness burn off.
And you know, this is one that could be critiqued for
being more of a vignette than a story.
I mean, I hinted at this in the long list that
there would be people who would be ****** *** because I've said you can't do this
and you can't do that.
And then you find in the shortlist people who have done these things and succeeded.
And this is the thing, like, how do you take a quite internal story
where nothing really happens?
Like, we're not looking at action within the
scene.
We're certainly talking about things happening,
but we're not looking at like a progression of action within a scene with,
you know, traditional conflict and so on.
With the narrative arc.
We're looking very much at a reflection.
But here's a story where it has succeeded because the unique perspective of this
character, the unique characterization of someone
who is married to the sea, but also someone who's making choices and
behaving in a certain way, even if it's like, kind of on reflection,
we're looking at how they ended up where they've ended up.
And to be honest, this idea of basically ******* a boat to
me is hilarious.
So I just want to read the author's brief explanation of the kicker.
******* a boat is all Yang, bro.
All those hard hot surfaces, all that masculine energy in one enormous
and vaguely phallic shape, stranded in the middle of nothing with
the sole purpose of pressing forward, pushing ahead.
Not a whit of yin to be found on board.
I am not a boat ****** myself, but I really enjoyed going down the
merchant marine slash container ship rabbit hole and hiding this piece.
And you know that's the thing right?
Like the embracing of the prompt, having fun with what that looks like.
Delving into this character and why they feel so strongly about where they're at,
I think is compelling.
And also like, if we go a level deeper, again,
we're talking about a guy who's like, I'm in love with the sea.
I'm married to the sea.
**** Randy.
Is that the case or are you hurt?
You know, and, and and this is like the deeper thing as
like the human thing and the human truth of you're married to the sea because she
hurt you.
And I think that is compelling and interesting.
And I love Andrea that you went there and I found this to be a compelling story for
that reason.
So thank you, Andrea, and congratulations on your shortlisting.
All right, so let's move on to 5th place.
I am very excited to announce 5th place because 5th place has been taken out by a
Central Coast local, someone who we both met, yes.
And so congratulations.
And of course, again, we judge this competition blind,
but when we reveal the names to ourselves, it can be very,
very exciting to see a familiar name.
And even though this story is technically written from the perspective of a male
character, I'm going to read it this time.
I've decided I'm having this honour.
So congratulations to Ryan Nanome with the story Bunyip.
Watch out, Bunyip will get you if you turn your back
to the Creek.
You told me it was so hot and the mud banks had a stink to them.
At least the flies were busy somewhere else.
Guys aren't real, I said, watching you dangle from a branch,
stretching to grab the frayed rope swing.
You monkey idiot.
You danced on the branch and made stupid chimp noises,
and I looked at my feet so you couldn't see me smile.
Well, the bunyip isn't a ghost, it's a demon, Uncle Jim said.
So he said.
Uncle Jim's stories always gave me butterflies.
The idea of a demon in our Creek.
God, I'm all flapping about again.
I heard the familiar groaning of branch and rope, then splash.
I checked to see if that damn rope had finally snapped, but it held, barely,
as it always did, and you popped up with a big smile,
and you laughed.
You laughed like you knew you were so certain there was no such thing as the
bunyip, and even though you're splashing and
laughing seemed like the only noise for miles, you didn't notice or didn't care.
Have a swing B.
You called.
The water was murky brown.
I checked my legs for leeches.
No thanks, you know there's probably 150 leeches on
you right now.
It's my sweet blood, I'm like Fanta to them, he said.
Then you duck dive with your pants down.
Mooning me couldn't help but laugh.
Mum always said you were too busy being a fool to feel afraid.
You swam past doing backstroke to the Creekside with a swinging tree.
I ignored you and turned back to my mud towers.
I grabbed a handful of wet, sandy muck and let it dribble out the
bottom of my fist.
It was so quiet that I could hear the flip flip as the droplets fell on top of
each other, building a little mud staircase.
Up and up until splash in you went again.
My tower collapsed from beneath and oozed back towards the Creek.
I couldn't get any to stay up.
It was like the mud was being called back to the water.
I picked up another handful.
The birds and fish and even the insects were gone.
Everything was so still except the muck slipping through my fingers.
All I heard were those wet drips.
I didn't notice you were still too.
And I know I told you I didn't believe in ghosts, but I didn't know about demons,
about the bunion.
What else but the bunyip could hypnotise me like that?
And snap the rope that never broke and hold you down the best swimmer in Kedley,
and fill your lungs with mud.
And then vanish and watch from the bushes as the birds came back.
And I came back too and laugh probably as I found you with your skin all blue,
your skin was so blue.
Thank you so much for your story, Ryan.
What I loved about this story, well, several things,
but firstly the imagery and the writing and the voice,
this idea of this little bit of a different ghost story.
I've got a bunyip, not a ghost.
Should we explain Bunyip?
Very.
To non Aussies?
Yeah.
Look, I don't know what the mythology is.
It's a very Australian thing.
It's like a Bush boogeyman.
Yeah, totally.
I'm not sure what the actual definition is, but we all like as Australians,
we've all heard of bunyip and we understand the concept of a bunyip,
but we're not that scared, to be fair.
Yeah, Yeah.
It's a bit abstract, I think, but that's the surprising thing about
this story is because we know that bunyips aren't real.
But in this case, it kind of is real.
And it's in that it is this spiritual manifestation of a tragedy that takes
place in this story.
And we have a character here who's reflecting back on a tragic occurrence
and processing it in the context of what led up to it.
And this idea of a Bunya, you know, we get it coming through in these final
lines of like, I found you in your skin, all blue.
Your skin was so blue.
And we get a glimpse into what it must have been like,
the shock and the unfathomable tragedy of the whole thing.
And it's a very powerful piece and surprising as well because we're not
really expecting that to happen.
You know, we're expecting some jokey ghost story,
some shenanigans on a swing, and it gets pretty dark and pretty real.
And I think what's also compelling about this story,
and I wanna call this out in particular because I think this is a challenge that
a lot of authors don't really fully succeed in.
And I think Ryan has succeeded here, is delivering a child's point of view.
Yeah.
And we get children's point of view.
We get it often.
We get it every time, but we don't get it quantity wise that
that much.
Yeah.
So every now and then we get a children's point of view story.
And I think it is very difficult for us as adults to authentically write from the
perspective of a child.
And I think Ryan's done that really well.
So I think what we often find is stories where we're trying to write a child's
point of view and it just isn't clicking and it's a little bit old,
or it's a little bit too informed, or I don't know,
like there's always different issues, but for whatever reason,
it's not resonating.
And I think Ryan's child's point of view here resonated really strongly.
And I think that's hard to do.
And I think Ryan's done it really well.
And so if you're interested in writing for children,
I would look at Ryan's story here and see how he achieves that because it it is a
dark story.
So it's not like he's shield away from the dark stuff.
He's just done it in a way that felt authentic to me.
So congratulations Ryan, great story and 250 Australian dollars
are coming your way.
But now we move to our fourth placed story and this one comes from team Amanda.
But I will be reading the story.
And in fourth place, receiving 350 Australian dollars,
is Hearts with Audrey by Jesse Descanio.
Let her have it the way she wants, you say as we pull into your mother's
driveway together for the first time.
Your hand is on my leg, a lid over boiling water.
This is a lot for her.
Just don't be too.
How can you be 36 years old and she's never used the word gay?
It keeps the peace you trugged not long ago.
I've been venomous about it.
You've been a ****** all your life.
She needs to grow up.
I suppose this meeting counts.
Finally, Jeremy.
I tell her.
But she knows me.
A shadow that was always just out of sight, but maybe never out of mind.
She's handed you mail with both our names on it when it's come to her PO Box.
Remember back when you'd still take her your laundry?
We accidentally put my small jocks in with your large ones and she gave them
back, washed and pressed without a word.
I've stood right here in her Persimmon centred lounge room many times,
not once with her in it.
Just the ugly Wicker furniture and the slowly fading photos of your dad.
I don't remember his name.
You eat salmon don't you Jeffrey?
Is the sole question I merit all evening.
No, and it's Jeremy.
When you don't correct her, I say absolutely and let her have it the
way you want, forever keeping the peace.
So I sit nicely as the pair of you steer around me like an iceberg concealing
what's just beneath the water.
She loves ***** Boots, but I mustn't mention I've starred as
Lola.
The cards come out at last.
When you told me your Christmas tradition was hearts,
I spent the week watching every YouTube video I could about this stupid game.
Beside the deck, a yellowed and curled piece of paper with
a three person tally.
Jay must be your dad.
His column hasn't seen a pencil stroke in a long while.
Her hand disappears back into the drawer to find the cards that get set aside.
When it's just two people, those are covered in dust.
In hearts.
You're meant to try and pass your bad cards to somebody else,
but if you take and keep every single one, you win the game.
Instead, the old woman plays fast.
It's the only half hour of the night where she looks like she's enjoying
herself.
I take all the ****.
Queen of spades, then the hearts 1 after another loading
my gun, we're on the final trick.
I put down the nine of hearts.
She plays the 10 trying to shoot the moon.
Jeff, it was a nice try.
Underneath the table you put your hand on my leg again and **** I let her have it.
So congratulations, Jesse.
Thank you for your story in Team Amanda.
I really appreciate it.
And interestingly opting for a story about two men in Team Amanda in the Yin
Energy round.
And I just wanted to highlight again your explanation for why you did that.
And you mentioned in your comments Jeremies femininity would be a point of
contention for his partners mother.
And he takes on a passive role at dinner to keep the peace with her.
And I think that was a really interesting way to approach that.
But also like a quiet story, we're just talking about a game of cards,
but it's not just a game of cards.
And the subtext is really rich throughout.
You know, we're talking about I'm taking all the
**** right?
I'm taking all the **** but I'm going to win.
But then I don't because I choose to let her have it.
And I think that that is incredibly rich subtext and relatable for anyone really,
who's ever taken **** no matter the circumstances.
Yeah.
I think the premise here, the situation is relatable for a lot of
people.
Like, there are always times in your life where
you've had to just be the one to take the ****.
It's been your role because of love too, you know,
because you're trying to make someone else's life easier maybe.
And this idea that that in the game of Hearts specifically,
like you can take all the **** and be the winner.
And even that he doesn't get that.
Like she stops him from getting that because she knows she's like, no,
don't even try.
You're going to get away with that.
But even beyond like the main point here, there are these moments of subtext as
well, like these extra details that I think
come through.
We get this back story about the father, which is never really explained,
but we get this picture of, you know, the father's passed away or left or
something we assume passed away.
And maybe she's had time to reflect on like, the important things in life.
And that's why in the past she's kind of been out of the picture.
But now this is a breakthrough in itself.
The fact that they're there together, they're seeing her.
We get these little glimpses.
We get like the piece of paper with the J in it,
and the J column hasn't been filled in for a while.
And we get this view that she's quite lonely,
Like the extra cards that haven't been played while they're all dusty and they
come back and she's finally interacting with other people.
And she's maybe able to look for the first time, maybe cynically,
maybe not entirely, like charitably, but she is able to at least given the
time of day in her own way, and open herself up to them.
So there's this whole perspective of the mother that we're getting that all comes
through in the writing.
I think that's really well told.
Yeah.
And there's some really beautiful lines as well.
Like early on in the story, the first paragraph together for the
first time, your hand is on my leg, a lid over boiling water.
That's so such a beautiful metaphor and this idea of just being like so overcome
with emotion, but just trying to just keep it under
control because you want that for your partner and you're trying your best to
just shut up, I guess, and just take it.
And it's sad.
It's sad that this character takes it, but it's also an act of love.
And so, you know, there's this duality there of that as
well.
Like, OK, we don't want you to have to sit there
and take it.
But at the same time, you're doing that as a choice.
You know, you could flip the table if you want,
but you're choosing to take the peaceful route for your partner and knowing like
this whole history that's come before.
And I guess taking like a softly, softly approach to that instead of just
trying to upset the Apple Card and make it all about you.
And, and I think that that is painful, but also loving and beautiful.
And, and that's the kind of richness that
shone through with this story.
I mean, ultimately it's just a scene with people
playing cards.
And this is where we're talking about like the passivity and the quiet action
and the lack of action and how maybe for some stories that didn't quite come
through for this one, these choices really meant something.
And they came with consequences.
And they came with like emotional subtext as well.
And I think that that is what elevated this story potentially above some other
stories that were also quite quiet or scenes when not a lot actively happened
in the scene and the conflict wasn't really played out,
but it was there simmering under the surface.
And I think it worked here.
So thank you so much, Jesse, and congratulations on your 4th place.
And there will be 350 Australian dollars coming your way but now we get to the
podium.
Podium begin with 3rd place and our third place getter will receive 500 Australian
dollars.
The prizes ramping up of course, a reminder that all of our shortlist will
be published in the anthology at the end of the year.
But third place is a team Ed story, which I'm very.
That's a trait, isn't it?
Stop your gloating.
All right, No, I'm going to take it while.
And on that note, like let's analyse at the end of this
shortlist, like what were the what were the what
were the breakdown Team Med VS Team Amanda in shortlist?
Because that is an interesting point of discussion, I believe.
OK.
But in 3rd place for the July 2026 not Quite right prize is Sunscape by Natalie
Harris.
On the morning that he goes blind, Thomas Broadswell stares at his copy of
Van Gogh's The Solar at Sunset one last time.
The mug in his hands is hot, the coffee robust as he drags it to his
lips.
The worlds of bitter steam flow seamless into the dashes that pepper the oil.
Thick sky a Van Gogh's hope White glimmers draw the eye to feed into rich
gold, and below the sewers feet the sea of blue
and purple undulates in perfect contrasting composition.
The painting is a masterpiece, Or it would be if not for the star of the
show.
She is carved into the canvas with the rough centrifugal motion of hard graphite.
She's painted in thick, unwieldy splats of yellow,
like a toddler stole the masters brush to ruin the splendour of his cognizance.
In reality, she is not nearly so ugly.
Thomas places the mug down beside his latest palette.
Flaking paint hits his nostrils in a burn of chemicals.
The size 6 nudge lightly rolls to the edge where it teeters for a moment,
precarious, caught between the decision to stay where
it's supposed to or fall haphazard into a sea of unforgiving blue and purple.
His fingers flex, the joints popping.
Thomas turns, sweeping into the kitchen.
His slippers clap on the heavy marble as he surveys the quiet Kingdom through his
window.
Mist roves over the grass like a regiment of spectres.
The sky is crisp and cloudless, the fiery orange of sunrise bubbling up
to meet the fragments of lilac night like activated lava.
Thomas breathes out thin, his heart constricting.
The conditions are finally perfect.
He takes the gigantic to the viewing platform,
then spends 45 minutes calibrating the lens and the sun philtre,
his hands trembling.
Dew films the body of his equipment in moments,
the droplets providing a prismatic glimpse of the truth.
He runs still quivering fingers through the thinning tickle at his temples.
As she finally makes her grand entrance, the world enhances,
coming to life in the sumptuous flex of ultra radiation.
Thomas's heart hammers.
The scent of cooking vegetation sharpens like the chemical burn of paint.
As he bends to peer into the eyepiece, the newly vitalized world holds its
breath.
At first he sees craters, sunspots, the corona and the disrupted ripples of
gases.
She's as perfectly round as Van Gogh's centrifugal representation.
Through the philtre she holds a singular dark terracotta taint,
like a toddler has stolen the Masters paintbrush.
Thomas's throat closes.
The corners of his eyes prickle.
Surely there is more to her than this.
If he is to paint her, truly paint her, then he will settle for nothing but her
glorious truth.
He leans back, eyes tracing the vibrancy of those
dewdrops.
The size 6 wavers over the edge.
Thomas's fingers skim the tabbed tip of the philtre.
The truth is that it takes exactly 0. 6 seconds these retinas to burn.
So thank you, Natalie, for your story.
And what I loved about this story is, well, the writing,
the prose and the description here, it's very vivid.
It paints a picture, you know, picture paints a picture of how to paint
a painting a picture and very vivid, very evocative and really leaning into
the Yang energy.
I feel like not only do we have the sun, but we have this character.
Of course, a man doing something as men are want to
do.
That is ridiculously stupid and and driven, I guess.
And all of that masculine energy coming through in a surprising way.
Like we, we talk about this all the time in the
competition.
The thing that gets our attention and often gets you over the line is
presenting something that surprises us.
And this one really did surprise me.
Like the story is unusual.
It's a story of a person of a painter who goes blind because they really want to
see the sun in all its glory.
And it's a tough premise to pull off, I think, in a story.
But isn't that relatable?
Like, we're all artists here, right?
And there is this desire to almost set ourselves on fire to kind of capture the
truth, you know what I mean?
And we are all doing that in our own individual special ways,
setting ourselves on fire if that means entering competitions again and again and
again and never making a long list and like, feeling like you just want to die,
right?
Like that's one way of doing it or throwing yourself out on the page,
putting stuff out there that you're almost ashamed or embarrassed to put out
there.
Like there are many ways of going about it.
But as artists, what we're all doing is staring at the
sun.
I hope that's the ultimate standard, right?
Like if you are staring at the sun and writing that,
that's what you're trying to do.
You're trying to just express the truth, not just like a sun is a circle and it's
bright.
We're trying to, like, get at what makes this true for people.
And, you know, I think Natalie's done that beautifully.
And it's all a metaphor, really.
You know, we're really looking at someone who's
staring at the sun, Yes.
But also we can put ourselves in that situation and go,
in what ways do we stare at the sun?
In what ways do we do the thing that is painful and harmful to us to more clearly
express what is true?
And I think that's the bit that resonates.
That's the bit that makes this story stand out, at least for me.
No, absolutely.
Capturing that universal truth in a way that is surprising and and powerful and,
like, unsettling, I guess.
Yeah.
Like, let's face it, what are we doing?
Are you staring at the sun?
You're permanently damaging yourself.
It's not a positive implication, is it?
Red flag.
And those are the things that are they're what make great art, right?
The touching on the things that are kind of mad and kind of, but also true.
And and we can't help it, the human condition.
And I think for me, that's what made this story compelling.
It's not just about a guy who's painting and staring at the sun.
And it's about everything else.
It is about our search for what's real and what damage that causes us to search
for what's real.
I think so.
Thank you, Natalie.
Thanks.
And also like, thanks a lot.
You know what I mean?
But, you know, congratulations on delivering something
impactful with your story.
So well done, Natalie.
I think most people start at the sun.
They go blind.
You stare at the the sun.
You got yourself 500 Australian dollars.
So congratulations.
All right, but now we're up to second place runner
up.
And just a little recap before we get to our second place.
We've revealed 4 shortlisters and we've had two team meds and two team Amanda's.
So.
So far even.
Yeah, so far quite even.
Even though the totality of stories was heavily weighted in your favourite Amanda,
let's be honest.
Not that I'm bitter about that, but shortlist wise,
so far it's been pretty even.
So we'll see what the the top 2 has to offer.
So let's get into #2 now #2.
So taking out 1000 Australian dollars?
Not too shabby.
In second place for Team Amanda is what we lost and all we gained by Tatum Shad.
We waited every day for the moon to fall apart.
It happened slow.
The sprouting fissure was hundreds of miles across,
but from Earth it only looked like a scratch.
Our beloved satellite with a crack in its face.
The tides maintained their usual tug of war at first,
when the moon dimmed to a Crescent, we often forgot about the whole thing
altogether, like we'd travelled back in time.
Then the gap widened as the moon separated into distinct halves you did
your best to snap me into.
I sat on the porch with your father, binoculars in hand,
waiting for our fractured friend to rise above the horizon so we could see for
ourselves what hubris really looked like.
You twist and push against my belly so hard it sent ripples across my skin.
Your father, wanting to be part of the action,
couldn't keep his hands off it.
He swooned every time you nudged him back, but I still felt bad.
He'd never know you like I did, the same way I felt bad you'd never see
your first birthday.
We refuse to tell anyone the name.
Some of the more savvy family members sensed our wish for privacy and gave us
names instead.
Ancestral matriarchs.
Verbs turned into nouns, creative spellings and unreasonable
suffixes.
We said we'd add them to the shortlist, then switch topics to the Doomsday Clock
infographic wired into every phone and screen.
Funny these two cataclysms happening at the same time.
I learned motherhood is having the moon explode above you.
I'm thinking about the limb poking the inside of your belly button instead.
I always pictured an elbow.
My water broke the day the tides broke their reliable pattern and ravaged the
world.
We watched news reports of mass flooding and death tolls while I laboured,
begging someone to change the channel before the real contraction started.
I only had room for one earth shattering event in my life.
I couldn't devote any more energy to the rest.
Two weeks later, the moon lost its orbital equilibrium and
gravity lassoed it toward us.
We sent out birth announcements anyway, finally sharing your name with the nearly
extinguished world, and spent every precious second watching
you exist.
You had your dad's nose.
My smile, befuddling amount of filled diapers and a
coup that sounded like heaven on earth.
We hardly put you down, often holding you until you slept,
afraid to rest ourselves and risk sleeping through Armageddon.
When it finally came, we cuddled up on the porch as a family of
three and took it in.
I held you and your father held me as the cool night air buzzed around us.
My heart pounded, but I saw your face aglow in the light of
the approaching moon and thanked the universe for such a blessing.
To think we came so close to missing it.
So thank you so much, Tatum, for your story.
This is a story that takes something, you know, not to diminish it,
but fairly everyday in the world, kids are born,
all children are born all the time, but juxtaposes that with this fairly
singular event of the moon falling to pieces and crashing to the earth.
So what I think is interesting is that there are a few stories that you
highlighted this about the previous story Sunscape,
that it was this outrageous situation that reflected a universal truth.
And I think this one does too.
It reflects the apprehension that parents have at the birth of their child.
Even though the new moons not falling apart,
we often have the feeling the world is falling apart as well and the babies
coming into that world.
And regardless of what's happening in the world, what wars are taking place, what,
you know, genocides or whatever are happening in
the world, the most important thing to you is still
the birth of your child.
And do it knowing that, hey, they're going to come into this world.
That's not perfect.
Things are not going to go well for them.
In the case of this story, obviously it's more catastrophic than
that, but but we recognise that it's still
worth it.
Isn't that the point?
You know, we do get caught up in this anxiety and I
think that's such a common theme now.
We're all anxious, right?
And all children are anxious too.
Like anxiety is such a huge problem right now for people and we're all worried
about the future, we're worried about the present.
But this moment of a child being born is still the point, right?
And if you are a parent or if you have been involved in the birth of a child,
then you see that, you see the beauty of that,
and everything else falls away.
And that becomes your priority.
And you just have to forget about all the ******** that's going on.
But this last line, you know, to think we came so close to missing it.
Like the idea that you might be so caught up in the horrors that persist that you
forget to see the beauty, whether that's the birth of a child or
whether that is literally any other beauty that we as human beings see in our
environment, I think is something that we can all
latch onto, whether you're a parent or not.
And you know, for me, like this story gave me goosebumps.
It made me want to cry.
I nearly did cry reading this story.
And I think it is just that self reflection moment of the idea that we can
get so caught up in the horror that we kind of miss the beauty.
And I find that incredibly compelling and moving.
And I think that Tatum, you did an excellent job of of reminding
us of the beauty while also presenting us with the horror.
So well done.
And this premise reminded me a lot of the movie Melancholia,
which is a movie I enjoy in which the the moon kind of falls off its orbit and
crashes into the earth.
And what I think I enjoy about that movie and movies like it is we have this view
that like, people are just going to run screaming
and go crazy.
But the fact is with humans, when there's an impending disaster,
life just kind of goes on and people have an ability,
ability to just put that in their peripheral and know that it's happening.
But they kind of just continue living their life ability or a disability either.
I mean, we talk about like, you know, climate change or any other thing that
people should be worried about.
And they're not.
They're like, oh, I'll just continue to live my life and
that's someone else's problem.
Why wouldn't the moon fall apart evoke the same response?
I could imagine people just being like, oh, yeah, well, you know,
the moon's falling apart and we don't really know what's going to happen.
So anyway, well, there's nothing we can do about it.
So we're just going to continue living our lives until that's a problem and
that's human nature.
And I think that is another element of this story.
Just reflecting on that.
And I think there were a few stories this round, actually, that for me, evoked,
you know, the movie.
Look up.
Yeah, it's a great movie, by the way.
And had that same vibe of, like, the world is ending, but no one cares.
No one gives a ****.
And it's kind of ****** but also beautiful.
That's the vibe I got from this story.
Well, thank you, Tatum.
And what you gained is 1 1000 Australian dollars and 2nd place.
So congratulations, well done.
But there can be only one winner.
And what a doozy it is.
Doozy is it?
Is that the word we're using?
So the winner of the July 2026 Not Quite Right Prize for Flash Fiction,
the winner of the One and Only Pointy Trophy and 1500 Australian Dollars,
as well as publication in the Not Quite Right Prize Anthology for 2026 for Team.
Ed is Sandworm by Steve Huff.
21 years of training, hoping, yearning.
Tonight is my big night.
I'm ready.
Feet on the blocks, hand wraps on, poised to dive.
You might say almost too ready.
But let's not dwell on that.
That's Ben's fault.
Ben is my life support system and so far he's done a **** **** job of putting me
to my intended use.
Oh sure, there's ****.
Endless gyrating, squelching flesh pits behind the glass of
that radiation spewing device he keeps cavalierly close to me and my Co workers.
**** till I'm chafed red as a lobster hang dog with inadequacy next to those
purple veined pythons that twitch Bob of their own accord,
still sniffing the air in pursuit of damsel in morsels long after I've beaten
A shrivelled retreat to my Poly blend prison.
Dude.
I want to say guy bro, a few 100 years ago you'd have had three
kids by now working on 1/4.
It's not meant to be this hard.
But no, he'd rather listen to the guys with
surgically enhanced jaw lines and pharmaceutically and big and deltoids
marching down his feet in inevitable dreary procession.
Apparently his inability to make the basic connection that every one of his
ancestors managed for the last 1. 2 billion years of sexual dimorphism is
entirely not his fault.
It's those damned women freed from a natural state of dependence by hormonal
birth control and almost equal pay so they can flock in glassy eyed harems
around the feet of a few towering chads.
This winner take all dystopia Ben confidently refers to as the Chatopoly.
You don't want to know what he calls the women.
I want to be long and girthy enough to slap him.
No dude, not the enemy, not the enemy.
Case in point, Margot Less, her slightly gap toothed,
nervous hoodie wearing soul.
She apparently got tired of just happening to sit near Ben in every
statistics tutorial, smiling, accidentally brushing his hand.
So she invited him back to her campus share house for pizza,
refusing to accept indecision.
Then when he absolutely failed to take the hint,
despite me doing my best to bounce up and down and scream,
she pulled him in for a beer and garlic teeth bumping awkward, incredible kiss.
I was so proud then, the way he looked at her.
What have I been trying to tell you kid?
Give him time to get used to the idea.
He may even realise they're people.
But right now, in her room, her hand slowly unbuttoning his fly.
It's my time.
And here I am, Modest in proportion, pale as any sunless creature.
Yes, but in spirit.
A sandworm bursting from the dunes of Oracus.
Sun's teeth, Yomunganda breaking from the waves.
No tail to bite.
Yes, Oh yes.
And there they are.
Fingertips.
Soft, warm.
Oh, warmer than I ever imagined.
And then those treacherous nuts twitch.
Oh no, not yet.
Oh, not yet, you morons, you hairy troglodytes.
This is my time, I clench, gritting imaginary teeth.
You shall not pass.
Then the soft warm hand closes around me.
Oh Christ.
Oh my God.
Congratulations, Steve.
This is not your first foray into the shortlist,
but congratulations on your first win.
You'll be receiving a pointy trophy.
And I don't know, like, here's the what have you got to say,
Amanda?
Here's the thing.
I feel uncomfortable because I don't want to give the impression,
and I feel we're giving the impression that the not quite right prize is all
about **** jokes and whatnot.
It's not.
However, we know a good story when we see it.
A little bit of a behind the scenes situation.
This story from first read to last sailed through the judging.
There was no question.
Every judge gave this a yes.
I think it was the only story that every judge gave.
The only story this round not right.
Yeah, on initial read that every judge gave a
yes, but also as it progressed it was just
easy.
We all knew that it worked and it's not about being a penis POV,
although of course we have a sense of humour and we think that's hilarious.
It was everything, right?
It's like the package, if you will, the whole package including the hairy
troglodytes.
But there's a complete narrative going on here.
There is subtext, there is character arc and there's social
commentary.
Social commentary, like there is a lot going on here so we
can just joke about it and say this is just * **** joke kind of story.
And like, on one level it is, but if you actually look into it,
there's a lot more going on than that.
And that's what we react to, I guess.
You know, you get our attention, of course,
if you're going to write something a bit crude, but you have to elevate.
And that's what this story did.
And it is that social commentary that to me is really interesting.
And I think it's quite funny that the penis, right,
If we're talking Yang energy, the penis is the one that's of the
feminist.
Yeah, a little bit, right.
Like it's kind of like, mate, dude, bro, like chill out.
Like the ultimate goal is procreation maybe, or whatever,
and forget about all that ********.
It's not that hard kind of thing.
And I think that's actually a really lovely message.
It sounds kind of stupid, but a really, really lovely message for young men that
all of your ancestors managed it.
Like you can manage it as well.
Just forget about all of that ********.
I don't want to go territory, No, I don't.
But this sandworm idea as well is very visual and vivid and memorable and very,
very apartment for the character that we're talking about as well,
and just funny and fun while also being insightful and evocative and what have
you.
So well done, Steven.
I understand that Steve's had success elsewhere recently as well.
So you're on a roll.
Congratulations.
So, yeah, well done, Steve.
I think look, what really carries this story is
obviously the voice and all of the things that you mentioned, Amanda.
And look, the fact that it's not just, we say this all the time,
you start with a ridiculous premise, you've got to take it somewhere.
And I think this one is paid off.
It's paid off in the voice of the characters,
paid off in that social commentary, in that development.
And like we get a happy ending in a manner of speaking,
maybe a not so happy ending, but a conclusion is reached.
And I think that's paid off quite well.
And what I think is interesting here is that there's no big reveal that it's a
penis.
It's not introduced in the first line.
It's progressively introduced.
And at some point it might be different to everyone.
You figure out that it's a penis talking and I kind of enjoy that.
I enjoy that.
Like it's not held as a twist.
It's not held as a big reveal.
It's just like, hey, I'm a penis, I'm talking.
And eventually you'll get the fact that I'm a penis pretty early on.
Like you get it.
So just well handled, I think, if you will.
And congratulations, Steve, you've given us a penis,
but you've given us so much more.
We can all hold on to that.
Where's the job with our soft, warm fingers?
So we appreciate it.
And so of course, a $1500 prize and a pointy trophy are
both coming your way, Steve.
So congratulations on your win.
Hmm.
But I would like to also gloat because no, we don't need to do that.
No, it's fine.
We can.
No, although, although you may have won the popular
vote and although you may have had the most long listed entries,
I'd like to point out the critical fact, 2 critical facts, in fact, one fact,
the 1st that the shortlist was 5050.
He was divided right down the middle, three team Ed, three team Amanda.
So it was close with a certain perspective in mind.
And more importantly, the moral victory for the July round goes
to Team Ed for the first time for the first time, potentially the only time.
Oh look, we're already getting ahead of ourselves.
Can we just be in the moment for a second?
Alright, I'll let you have moral victory and just
fight against all odds from the 88 stories.
You're right.
Out of 297 stories, Team Ed rises to the top.
And there's no better metaphor of the cream arising well than a penis POV.
Oh dear.
And we have you to thank for it, Steve.
So thank you so much.
OK, but like, let's bring you down off your high horse
a little bit and let's talk about points.
Yes, that nasty business of points.
So the way the points work for those of you who are uninitiated,
is that for each story that makes the long list, you get one point.
If you make the shortlist, you get 2 points, and if you win,
you get 3 points, right?
It's the same as the leaderboard, but we apply it to the teams here as well.
That's it.
And so total is for team Ed 16 points, very respectable, 16 points,
if you say so.
And team Amanda 31 points, so respectable.
So team Amanda, which we knew probably in the long list
episode, that's what we were dealing with.
Congratulations, team Amanda, Congratulations team.
Congratulations myself.
Pat myself on the back just happening to have the prompts that inspired people,
which is exciting, but the real interesting thing is that
now we get to draw the bonus prize.
Well, well deserved T man, look, let's let's park our animosity for a
second.
Well deserved you.
It was a landslide.
You've earned it.
You've done well.
And having done literally nothing myself, well, you selected the prompts.
Yeah, that's great.
Good on me.
Well, that's what matters.
Or something.
So well done.
So yes, we do have the spreadsheet ready to go.
Of course, we're pretending that we have a lice ball
machine set up, so let's draw the winner of the bonus
prize.
And the winner is Catherine Cook.
Oh, congratulations, Catherine.
I feel like we heard that name during the longest episode.
With a bit of a shout out, Catherine Cook is the author of Little
Treats.
So yes, I remember that story.
Yes, a beautiful story, a memorable story, and tantalisingly close to the shortlist.
So I'm so glad to see that you won the bonus prize.
So you get a hoodie, A coveted, very rare, not quite right hoodie.
And also, I look forward to talking to you,
Catherine, and hopefully we enjoy exploring your
writing talents together in a bit of a coaching session.
And the rarity of the hoodie should not be understated because I think they're
only like 4 people owned these hoodies, 4 now.
And like, mine is like about to go in the bin.
It's trash.
So yourself another one.
I could, I could do that.
So congratulations, Catherine.
And that takes us to the end of the shortlist episode.
So of course, we look forward to sending out Steve's
trophy and we look forward to adding you Steve to our little winners gallery there.
So I'll be in touch about that.
For those of you who did make the shortlist,
we have upgraded badges on the honour roll.
So please do go and check those out in terms of prize money and so on.
If you did win a prize today, whether that be a placing or a wild card
or even the bonus prize, please get in contact with us.
So email us at contact@notquiteright. com and let us know that you know that
you won and we will figure out how to get you your prize money.
Depending on where you are in the world.
We will get in contact with you in a little while if we haven't heard from you,
but I guess we just like to wait and give you the opportunity to hear your name
announced on the podcast.
So we're not going to preempt that.
So let us know and we'll organise it straight away.
In terms of the leaderboard, that will be updated and will be shared
on social media and on our community as well.
But Ed, tell us about what's coming up next.
So we still have more to come for the July round.
We have Daredevil episodes, 5 Daredevil episodes,
and I'd like to call out that one particular Daredevil was right on the
cusp of the shortlist came within one or two spaces, like so annoyingly close,
really close one that we we have to make a decision.
It was a it was a tight one for the shortlist this time around.
So I'm really looking forward to analysing that story and sharing the
things that I loved about it and the things that maybe just kept it off that
shortlist.
Just so tantalisingly close.
Painful but necessary.
So some exciting and informative daredevils I feel coming up this round
and we will have a regular episode as well.
We do will we?
Are you sure?
No, I'm not.
We we we release a regular commit not that long ago.
They're not that.
Don't listen.
We will do it.
Don't write cheques.
You're asking exactly I'm committing right now that we will at some point do
another regular episode.
Oh, at some point.
Great.
OK, I feel reassured and I feel and of course
we have the next round, the October round, we're gearing up for that.
We have Nora Tuck busily working away on the artwork for the next round and we're
keen to share that with everyone when it's ready.
But tickets are on sale now for the October round and we are very excited.
So if you haven't got 1 yet, head over to the website and pick one up.
Absolutely.
And you know, a huge thank you once again to everybody
who entered this round of the competition.
We're so grateful for your entries.
We're so grateful for your support.
And every single story that we received, we read and we received with gratitude.
And I guess I can't articulate how grateful I am for everyone using this
opportunity to really express yourselves and really put yourselves out there.
It's a huge act of bravery.
You know, it doesn't always come with the accolades.
And that's the reality of writing.
We, all of us here, all of us, Ed, I, our assistant judges,
everyone who is in this space knows what it's like to not, I guess,
rise to the top.
We cannot do that every single time.
But the process is what we're here for and this journey of learning how best to
express ourselves, themselves in a way that people receive.
And all of you who are continuing to bash your heads against that particular brick
wall deserve an accolade for that.
But thank you, as always, for sharing that with us.
Yeah.
And we acknowledge that there are always going to be disappointed people every
round that far outweigh the the satisfied people.
But that's the nature of it.
And look, I can say for myself, I had a lot of fun this round.
I think the, I think a lot of people connected with
the prompts.
That's the feedback I got on social media and the forums that they inspired people
to write stories that they really had fun writing.
And as always, I had fun reading them.
So all of the stories for my team.
Thanks to everyone who submitted for T Med.
I appreciate each and everyone of you, each and everyone,
each and everyone of you two or three and hopefully we can come back next time.
Well, look, I'm being an *******.
I I am well aware of that and I look forward to seeing the huge groundswell of
support for team and next time as you all abandoned ship on Amanda's *******
behaviour.
Well look, it's all about the prompts I feel.
So we'll just have to do better next time and hopefully get over the line.
But thank you everyone for your support and thank you everyone for your stories,
as always.
And on the note of support, a reminder that we do have a Patreon and
we have been overwhelmed by the response on Patreon.
We've had a whole bunch of people join and we love you all.
And every time we get a notification, we text each other because we're so
excited that people are there to support us and join in.
So if you do want to get in on our Patreon,
go to Patreon and search not quite right or click on the link at the bottom of our
website.
You get early access to our episodes, you get to interact with us and you get
to listen to our silly nonsense in the niche if you are a citizen or in a circle
member.
And thank you so much to everyone who has signed up.
Absolutely.
It's very heartwarming.
That's probably in a way problematic, like it's just enabling.
I say heartwarming.
At what point is becoming we feel justified now in in just releasing all
our like deepest, darkest sports, which is probably not for the best.
No, really not.
But here we are.
Hmm.
Anyway, it's not over for this episode.
If you hang around after the outro music, you get to listen to our vague tweet
reveals.
So if we need to say vague posts, let's not give you a Musk anymore.
So we're we're changing our terminology.
It's no longer vague tweets, it's vague posts.
We will reveal them after the closing credits.
So I'll be back very shortly.
But until then, right on, right on.
Thank you for listening to Not Quite Right.
If you'd like to reach us via email or follow us on social media,
you can find all the links on our website notquiterightpodcast.com.
That's WRITE.
And if you enjoyed the show, we'd love it if you could leave us a five
star review on your favourite podcasting app.
Something doesn't seem quite right, So we are back ******* with excuse me,
vague post.
No, that's the language I don't approve of.
Well, it was directed specifically towards you,
so in that case, valid.
So let's start as I'll get mine out of the way because they're usually fewer
than yours.
And normally I've got like a couple, but this time I broke all records with I
think I don't know the number.
There's not that many.
I've got 13.
I feel like you're you're gaining on me new one.
There was only like 6 or 7, so the hand gesture is welcome,
but six or seven with my previous record being 2, maybe 3.
So I I think I've blown it out of the water.
I'm I'm very proud of you.
No, I'm proud.
I did my best.
Alright, given that you only had about six or
seven stories, that's true.
That is true.
Alright, bring it on, bring it on.
So first one, I said first cab off the rank is clearly
from around here with some tantalising local references.
And this one was Penelope Haley's the Trombone Minor,
which referenced a few things.
You referenced the the Hunter Valley and also Martin Place, among other things.
They're either side, either way.
We are.
Yeah.
And so I don't know, I, I enjoy stories with local references
like that because I can really picture them.
I can put myself in a place.
It's an advantage that some people have when they're writing about local places.
Again, I remember another story, actually, that was set in Enmore, like and Newtown,
King St.
No, I know the one you're talking about.
And the same, same thing.
Like you start writing about being drunk in Newtown and I'm like, yeah,
I can place it.
I've been there.
Exactly.
Yeah, 100% of all the people are not quite
right.
I've been drunk in Enmore more than once.
The next one, so this story with a genuinely disturbing
twist and my first maybe plus and that was Carolyn Cullen's For Your Peace of
Mind.
And this was a it was kind of a murder suicide situation,
very Yang energy kind of situation, but but written in the form of like a
letter being left behind.
So disturbing, absolutely captivating and compelling.
Absolutely as well.
The next one to the author of this story, what the actual F, but in a good way.
And Are you sure?
And that was Malcolm McCabe's stare at the sun.
And that's the story that I referred to a few times in the longest episode.
It was one that I think was very strange in my mind in terms of the direction it
went.
It was some kind of ritual, which I believe was sexualized.
There was a, a penis involved in this, like rising up to the light.
So as they do, they, they do, let's be honest,
they rise up towards things.
It had lines like my seed erupts in a golden opalescent fountain,
splashing me from head to toe.
So look a lot of captivating and very unusual imagery in there,
but definitely one that got my attention.
Next post is this story is an evocative story dripping with Yang energy and my
first yes for the long list and that was Vita Tully's a broken Promise.
This was a very evocative and kind of complex story about a man who returns to
a house and this kind of tragedy befalls him.
He falls off a ladder and he's like left grasping at things and there's memories
involved.
And it's it's quite ambiguous, but I thought it was a a really
interesting story and one that's definitely inspired by Yang energy.
And in my next post, I doubled down on this sentiment.
That is, it seems that many of you have
interpreted Yang energy to mean weird and disturbing as **** and I'm here for it.
Case in point to this story, which leaves me at a loss for words.
So the previous story left me at a loss for words and this one,
which was the historic Battle of Ted Caster of Death,
Sir David and the River Serpent in the Year of Our Lord 1351 by Holly Sadowski
definitely left me at a loss for words.
But a great story, Holly.
And I think look, all of us who read it had the same
reaction and we rated it quite highly.
It was a great story, but very much a WTF story and one that
like went there and I love a story that goes there.
I love a story that doesn't hold back and go, oh, well, that would be weird.
But no, you sat there.
You sat there at your little laptop and you're like, where can I take this?
Where is the most ****** ** place I can take this?
And you took it there.
Next post, 2 significant yeses in a row.
The first for receiving an outright yes and an outright no from two different
judges, which is quite rare, and the second for evoking a particularly
memorable dishonourable mention of rounds past.
This one was unanimous, and the first one was Sarah Banda's
Umunasaurus.
This is one that had an interesting metaphor here between like what this
Australian child was going through, this Aboriginal child, you know,
there's parallels between where she was being,
where she lived in western NSW and like the fossils that were underneath the
ground.
I thought that all came together very well, so I gave that one a yes.
And the second one which which evoked a particularly memorable dishonourable
mention of rounds past, was of course our winner Sandworm by
Steve Huff, which evoked Holly Sadowski's story as
well.
Johnson and Johnson, our other penis POV story.
It's not the only one, but yes, so penis POV back with a vengeance.
So well done Steve.
Next post here.
My first favourite story, followed immediately by my 4th.
Yes.
Both feature some wonderful lines, with the first having a particularly
memorable take on the kicker, and the first is Natalie Harris Sunscape,
which came third.
This is the one about Thomas Broadswell going blind.
So obviously a very memorable take on the kicker and also the word for this round
and the other story, which was a yes, which was Michelle Ryan's final departure.
And that was actually Dean's wild card entry, so I appreciated that too.
It was a very well written story.
I marked it as a yes as well for the same reasons that Dean has already called out
earlier in this episode.
So yeah, I did call out.
I'm not sure how many tweets that was because some of them contained multiple
stories.
But All in all, 10 stories referenced, which is a personal best.
Well done.
It's probably as many as like the last year combined pretty much.
Good on you.
Anyway.
What were your vague posts, Amanda?
Alright, so my first post was my very first story
and it's flesh fiction?!?!
Yes, team.
I cannot wait to enjoy the huge variety of stories you sent my way in this friend.
And I cannot overstate this, like, the excitement of like, OK,
we've got a new batch of stories, and I'm going to open story #1 and that
was Ella Rose's Mystic Melodies.
So thank you for that.
Thank you for just, like, getting it started with a bit of a bang,
you know?
And the stories are random, right?
So they've got a random number generator that orders the stories.
But I feel like the universe participates.
And sometimes it's like, hey, check this one out.
Yeah.
Throws us an interesting one for the first.
Yeah.
I'm like, I'm here for it.
So thank you so much.
So my next post was that is quite the opening line and that was relating to
Andy Blakely Sterling's story The Best Orion Elite.
And the opening line was I believe I called this out in the long list episode.
The frigid water made my ******* so sharp my daggers now felt redundant.
So thank you for that, Andy, like truly.
Next we had and we've hit cannibalism on the not quite right prize bingo card and
that was Keith Charles's Till the Coals Go Out,
which I also called out as being a great title.
So thank you for that, Keith.
Next we had.
This one is for anyone with a tendency to develop an inappropriate crush.
Guilty.
Thanks for the literal lol.
And this was Delina Shields the date.
So yeah, I have a tendency, let's say, and Ed can attest to that.
Anyone who's known me longer than 5 minutes will attest to my Anyone who's
read your diary publicly on the podcast can attest to that.
Yes, good times.
And anyway, that aside, we have my first.
Yes.
Followers may be interested to know that this story wasn't what I'd call plot
heavy.
There is hope yet for all.
Because of course, by this point I had made a bit of an
allusion to the fact that the passivity was an issue in this round.
And this story was Chloe pages all of a sudden, suddenly and all at once.
So a story, I suppose, that was internal passive,
if you'd like to say so, but also impactful.
So again, I want to reiterate that it is possible
to achieve what you want to achieve no matter what.
It's all about understanding how to deliver impact within the constraints
that you have.
And Chloe very narrowly missed out on the shortlist there.
Yeah.
And you know what?
I don't actually feel that sad because I feel like a lot of success.
Yeah.
Chloe needs to make room for others.
So well done, Chloe, but also well, well done to everybody else for whom you
made space this particular round.
And I know Chloe found this story particularly moving for herself.
And this is a thing, right?
Like there's a distinction between what is moving for us and what wins a
competition.
Who gives a ****?
Like, if this story is important to you and
meaningful to you, then it is valid.
And I think you should just pursue that and see what you want to do with that.
So I wish you all the best Chloe in pursuing that for your story.
Next I said my second.
Yes, it featured a very passive main character.
However the character made a clear choice that landed them in a different position
to where they were when the story began.
For me that worked.
I can see a guest judge felt differently, so it will be on Ed to decide.
And that was Brandon Woo's crooked answers,
which did in fact make the long list.
So congratulations Brandon, next, I said, swiftly followed by my first goosebumps
of the round, almost tears.
Thanks for hitting me in the fields.
And that was Tatum Shad's what we lost and all we gained.
And I did in fact confess to that in this episode.
I did nearly cry and I don't know what to say about that except for thank you.
Next I said.
I've been a little quiet on the judging front due to day job reasons.
Boo, but I'm back at it for a little check in
first story and it's an M plus not just from me, but from our guest judge as well.
It might just be yours if your title included mention of a food item.
You know we like to **** with you a little bit sometimes.
So sorry, not sorry, but that story was from Sandra Peters,
Midnight Poutine, which we already mentioned.
But you know, that was a moving story, a very emotional story,
and it was one of those ones that spanned multiple time.
Well, not multiple time.
It's like a whole life, you know what I mean?
But we're coming back to this central theme, which I like next, I said,
and it's two in a row, double maybe plus for this story,
which is a very positive early score.
This one is very internal, but develops nicely around a central and
highly relatable theme.
It could be yours if your POV character is a parent.
And that was Ronando Rich's Sometimes to do lists are completed.
And Ed, you would have read this one, that this was the character whose house
had burned down and who was like a ghost and reflecting upon that.
And I felt like that was incredibly moving, to be honest.
So thank you for that, Ronanda.
After which I said, swiftly followed by a yes.
Before you go assuming I'm just in a good mood,
let me emphasise that I'm very much not, and this story is remarkable for its
ability to make me forget that.
It could be yours if your interpretation of the concealed prompt involved
concealing one's true self.
And of course many stories involved that.
So I was being torturous and I do apologise.
Sorry, hashtag not sorry.
That was Jesse Descanio's story Hearts with Audrey.
And then I said all right, you got me.
This piece was more character study than story,
but I've said it before and I'll say it again, when you get the voice right,
a character study can be glorious.
This particular story was glorious enough to make it to 1st place.
And that was Sandworm by Steve Huff.
So we have the character and the voice of a penis.
And look, you're in good company here at Not quite,
right.
But also, I don't want to overstate that.
I really don't.
Yeah.
It's not about like, it's not about the penis.
It's not about toilet humour.
It's about delivering character.
It's about delivering like a message.
And I hope that that's clear because it was a highly relatable penis.
Go on.
Yeah, even for you, you know, who presumably doesn't have a penis.
OK, what have you heard?
Because it's fine.
And finally, my final vague post of the session was,
oh, it's giving Poe.
It's an M plus from me.
And that was Ruth Lord's The Cave.
And it was giving ******* revenge vibes, which I love.
So thank you, Ruth.
I'm in my revenge era as anybody who cares enough to listen would not.
I appreciate that.
And do you know what?
I need to shout it out because I'm going to the the Post Speakeasy thing in Sydney
and I don't know who they are.
I don't know if it's going to be any good, but I'm really excited about it.
And Andy got it for me for my birthday, like a ticket to go to that.
And I was really excited.
And then my mum, I was like, this is what I want to give you for your
birthday.
I'm like too late.
And then my sister was like, oh, have you heard that this is happening?
Anyway, so everybody knows I'm obsessed with Poe.
I'm very excited to go to this.
If you are also going to the Sydney PO Speakeasy thing,
please let me know because I would love to meet you and say hello.
I don't know, I hope it's good.
It looks really cool.
It's like it's going to be PO **** and then cocktails like it's right up my
alcohol and PO like what more can you want?
Literally a talking penis baby.
Thank you so much, everybody.
That was good fun and I hope you enjoyed Slashed were tortured by our vague tweets
and I really look forward to the October round.